by Hazel Kelly
“I guess so. I mean, shit, Ella. You’re living in New York now. Did it occur to you that maybe it didn’t come up because he has a criminal record or something?”
I laughed. “No, it didn’t.”
“Well you can never be sure too sure these days.”
“Even if he were a criminal, the guy is way too cute to get convicted.”
“I feel so much better now.” The sarcasm in her voice was tangible. “Do you have plans to see him again?”
“Yeah, I do actu-”
“In a public place I hope.”
“Would you stop? He’s not a criminal. God you weren’t worried about whether Will was a criminal.”
“That’s because everyone in the country knows Will Abbot is a sexy-ass businessman.”
“Not helping.”
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, you’ll be pleased to know we are meeting in a public place. He’s taking me ice skating at Rockefeller.”
“Is he gay?”
“No! He’s just new to the city- or not new I guess, but-”
“Gay.”
“Stop it!”
“All the signs are there.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Has he tried to kiss you?”
“I just met him, Jackie! We’ve only been to lunch. If he’d tried to kiss me already I’d think he was a total pervert.”
“Well if he doesn’t kiss you after your romantic skate under the bright lights, I’ve got bad news for you, honey.”
I sighed. “Even if he tried, I don’t know if I’m ready to kiss somebody else.”
“You never will be again with that attitude!”
“I mean it. I’m still kind of hung up on Wi-”
“Well get unhung!”
“I’m trying. Jeez.”
“I think kissing a gay guy is the perfect way to take your mind off Will.”
“He’s not gay!”
“I hope not, but we’ll know soon enough.”
“I’m not making any promises.”
“Oh my god, what if he’s a gay criminal?”
I laughed. “Jesus. Do you really think my luck could be that shitty?”
“I hope not. That would be too much. It would be like your life had turned into one of your Mom’s Lifetime Movies.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s fucked up.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve had like three Mountain Dews today. I’m unwell.”
“That explains it.”
“Does Will know you’re going out with someone else?”
“Yeah.”
“Did he say anything to you about it?”
“Yeah, he did.”
“What?”
“He forbid it.”
“Wait-what?”
“He told me I was not allowed to go out with Ben.”
“What a freak.”
“I know.” I looked up and waited for the light to change so I could cross the street and catch the subway.
“So what did you say?”
“I said who I went out with was none of his business.”
“Good for you.”
“Thanks.”
“Wow. So maybe he’s a mess over you, too.”
“Do you think so?”
“I have no idea. I just know that’s not normal behavior.”
“Right?”
“If you don’t care about someone, you don’t give a shit who they go out with plain and simple.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Or he’s just a control freak.”
“He did tell me he doesn’t like to share.”
“Yeah. I get that, but when something doesn’t belong to you, it’s not up to you who gets a piece.”
“He seemed kind of distressed about the whole thing.”
“I say keep doing what you’re doing. Right now you have some good options.”
“You mean between my boss and the gay criminal?”
“Yeah. I mean, what more could you want?”
I laughed. “You’re so right. Who wouldn’t want to be in my situation right now?!”
Chapter 10: Will
They already had plans?! What the fuck?! I knew Ben was trouble. One measly lunch and he’d already sealed the deal on another date with her.
I was as proud of my son as I was furious with him. If only his attentions weren’t directed at Ella. I didn’t want other men making her laugh and treating her enthusiastic palate to delicious treats. I didn’t want anyone else peeking down her shirt or letting their hand rest on the gorgeous small of her back.
Most of all, I didn’t see how she could want that kind of attention from other men when she’d had that and more from me. No one could offer her more than I could. No one. Certainly not an immature guy in his young twenties more interested in the notches on his bedpost than the quality of his relationships.
To say I was livid didn’t even cover it. I pushed back from my desk and turned my chair so I could look out the window. Eight and a half million people lived in the city that met my gaze. If half of them were women, there were over four million women Ben could’ve set his sights on that weren’t her. That was more people than the entire population of Ireland for fuck’s sake. There was a country’s worth of people he could’ve dated before he ever took her to lunch.
And the same went for her. What the hell was her problem? He’d barely arrived in the city which meant she must’ve met him in the building- just met him. She made me break a sweat to get a chance to take her out, and then Romeo comes along with his ridiculous hair and she’s up for it.
I suppose he wasn’t her boss which was probably a factor. That was her biggest hang up when it came to spending time with me outside the office. And he was younger than me. Not any more fit or handsome in my opinion, but younger. Is that what she wanted, though?
I thought she appreciated my maturity and my refined taste. I thought she liked the fact that I could afford to take her places and show her the kind of good time most people only ever dreamt about. More than that, I thought she was too hung up on me to even be interested in humoring someone else’s advances.
Obviously, I wasn’t as important to her as I assumed. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be interested in anyone else.
I felt like such a fool.
I was sure I’d done enough to win her over even if we couldn’t continue seeing each other on her terms. I thought all I had to do was standby and wait until she missed me so much she couldn’t stand it anymore. I guess I was wrong, and now that I realized it, I couldn’t say I was surprised.
After all, she was a fucking stunning woman. The way she carried herself was so graceful. Any man would notice her. She moved with the elegance of a bird of paradise. Her body was one thing. I got hard just thinking about how smooth she was all over, how her nipples darkened when she was aroused, how no matter how hard I kissed her, her lips were always soft.
But I knew deep down that if I only wanted her for her body, I wouldn’t have been as jealous as I was to hear that she had plans with someone else. But it wasn’t just her body that I wanted to ravage. It was her mind. She was enjoyable to be around. Her enthusiasm for little things was contagious and addictive. It made me want to share things with her and show her things I thought she would like. It wasn’t a chore to treat her because she was so good natured.
Usually, anyway. She sure as hell wasn’t very good humored about me telling her that she couldn’t see Ben again, and a lot of good that did me, too. I did nothing but waste my breath and piss her off. She already had plans with him, and now she thought I was some kind of control freak. But I wasn’t. I was just trying to make sure she didn’t make a horrible mistake.
He would only hurt her, and what’s more, she would be totally humiliated when she found out that he was my son. I suppose I could’ve told her, but there was no way that wouldn’t have been a huge mess, too. I would be in trouble for never mentioning it. But why should I have? Ben’s existence did
nothing but make me feel bad.
It wasn’t personal. I’m sure he was a fine young man, but I didn’t feel old enough to have a son. Plus, I didn’t really have one. I had a boy I’d fathered, but he didn’t treat me like his Dad. Laura poisoned him against me in his formative years and I let it happen. And as much as I pretended I didn’t give a shit, it bothered me. He was a walking, talking symbol of one of my greatest failures as a man.
I should’ve fought harder for a relationship with him over the years, but as far as I could tell, his happiness was more dependent on his mother’s wellbeing than anything else. As a result, I respected her wishes. To be honest, I was convinced for years that I was a sperm donor and a meal ticket for her. She got what she wanted out of me- my genes and a legal way to take my money for the foreseeable- and then she started spreading her legs whenever she felt like it.
The only good thing about it was that her eye for detail made me a lot of money in return. And she at least had the decency to only disgrace me in private- on foreign shores where my reputation wouldn’t be tarnished by having a skank for a wife. Then again, she probably did that for her own reputation as much as she did it for me.
I slid my chair back over to my desk and opened the top drawer where I stuck the compliment cards meant for Ella. I removed the thin rubber band and looked at the first one. It was from two months ago when she organized a bachelorette party for the younger sister of a famous musician.
“I wish I could come to this party all over again and that Ella Riley was a bridesmaid with me. She was so helpful and positive, and the stripper she chose for Ceci’s party was the hottest I have ever seen. She deserves a big, fat raise!”
Quite the accolade, I thought, though the idea that Ella was choosing strippers during business hours unsettled me. The next was from a group of Chinese tourists that came recently. They got special treatment because they were from some elite school outside Bejing… or at least I assumed it was that group because of how much the English writing looked like characters.
“We had a lovely stay at The Abbott. Special compliments to Miss Ella Riley who went out of her way to learn a few phrases in Chinese that she was eager to surprise us with during our stay. She made us feel very welcome.”
What the fuck? Chinese? Holy Shit. Maybe she did deserve a raise.
“My daughter’s bar mitzfah was a huge success thanks to Ella Riley’s attention to detail. I only wish we’d had my son’s at The Abbott, too. I’ll be sending everyone from my synagogue her way when they want something truly special. Our whole family will remember this day forever.”
Every note was more flattering than the last, and they just kept coming. Finally, I got to the last one.
“On behalf of the Mazzochetti’s, I would like to thank The Abbott for putting so much effort into making our family reunion in New York so memorable. We usually go to a different city every year, but it looks like we’ll be coming back to New York again as organizing our event with Ella Riley was a complete pleasure. She is a true professional, and the fact that she could get the women in my family organized will be the stuff of family legend for many years to come. Bravo.”
My gut felt completely twisted. How could I have been such an idiot?
I wasn’t the only one who could see how special she was. I wasn’t the only one that craved her attention.
She sparkled for everyone.
And that, most definitely, was completely out of my control.
Chapter 11: Ella
I stepped onto the ice, keeping one hand on the wall around the rink. I hadn’t been on a pair of skates of any kind since I was still in overalls and pigtails. At the same time, I couldn’t wait to get moving. The bare trees were lit up all around the rink with tiny blue lights and everyone was smiling. It was magical.
“Maybe I should just watch you go around,” Ben said, reaching for the wall behind me. He looked so handsome with his scarf wrapped tightly around his neck, and the pink tips of his ears were adorably boyish.
“Oh my god, you’re nervous!”
“I’m not nervous. It’s just that now that I’m here, I don’t think I’m going to be able to skate well enough to impress you.”
“You’ve already failed to impress me.”
“I have? How?”
“I was hoping you would have a whole routine choreographed since this was your idea, but I can tell by your stick straight legs that you don’t have anything prepared.”
I took small steps away from the rink’s entrance so I could get used to how my ankles felt on the blades.
“What’s wrong with my legs?” he asked, scooting along the wall.
“Nothing. But if you don’t bend them-” A man slipped and fell just ahead of us and I pointed at him. “That’s going to be you.”
“I think I’m going to sit this one out.”
I turned around. “You can’t go back that way. You have to keep going with traffic.”
“I can do anything I want.”
“Please,” I said. I pointed to a little kid in a one piece snow suit. “Look at that kid. You’re really going to tell me you can’t get by as well as he can?”
Ben rolled his eyes. “One time around.” He reached his hand out.
I took it and led him away from the wall. “Bend your knees.”
He lost his balance as soon as he lifted a foot.
I straightened my body and helped him catch himself, albeit ungracefully.
I laughed. “I should’ve let you fall. After the first fall, you’ll realize you have nothing to worry about.”
“The first fall? I didn’t come out here to fall all over the place.”
“At least there’s a thin layer of snow on the ice so it won’t hurt too much when it happens.”
After I dragged him along a few more steps, he was almost skating.
“There you go,” I said. “Now you’re getting the hang of it.”
He smiled at me and a glint in his eyes gave away that he was up to something.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Why are you grinning like that?”
His smile grew wider. “It was all a ruse so you would let me hold your hand.”
“Are you serious?”
He shrugged and pulled me closer to him. “I played hockey in high school.” He spun around so he was skating backwards right in front of me, still holding my hand.
My mouth fell open. “You are so full of shit, you know that?”
“You were really cute, though, the way you were helping me along.” A snowflake landed on his eyelashes and he wiped it away. “And the way you begged.”
“I didn’t beg.”
He moved back to my side and sped up a little, dragging me along with him.
It was weird to hold his hand when we’d only just met. It made me wonder what it would be like to hold Will’s hand, but I tried not to let my mind dwell on it.
“You’re a natural,” he said.
“Don’t patronize me.”
“I’m surprised Dancing on Ice hasn’t called you. I bet you’d look great in one of those leotards with the little skirts.”
“I would appreciate if you wouldn’t picture me in something that skimpy when it’s this cold.”
“I can warm you up.”
“Don’t you dare even suggest-”
“That’s not what I meant. You’ll like it I promise.”
He led me over to the side of the rink.
“Okay,” he said. “Stand with your feet like this.”
I moved my feet parallel like he was doing.
He skated around behind me and put one hand on my stomach and the other on my back. “Now stay straight with your knees slightly bent.” He reached behind me so his arms were alongside mine and his face was just over my shoulder. “Pull your arms in to your chest.”
I could feel his warm breath on my ear.
“Now put one foot slightly ahead of the other and hold that position.”
&nbs
p; “Okay,” I said, wishing I knew what he had planned.
A moment later, he put his hands on my shoulders and started turning me in place. At first, he spun me slowly, but after the first few spins, he sped me up until I was spinning in place like a real figure skater.
Soon the other skaters looked like they were at all kinds of weird angles because of how dizzy I was getting, and I started screaming as I spun faster and faster.
Suddenly, Ben grabbed me with both arms and stopped me in place. My head felt all wobbly, but I couldn’t stop smiling.
“That was amazing!” I said as his face came into focus. I tried to blink to get my balance back. “Don’t let go yet,” I said, still feeling unsteady.
When there was finally one of him again, he still had his arms around me and his face was just inches from mine. Our warm breaths were mixing as they rose in the air together, and I realized if I didn’t say something quick, I risked him extending the silence between us with a kiss.
“Wow,” I said. “You were right. That was fun.” I wiggled my shoulders and he loosed his grip slowly to make sure I wouldn’t fall. “Now if Dancing on Ice calls I’m ready to go.”
He smiled and reached for my hand again.
I took it this time without reservation. “I didn’t know hockey players could do that.”
“I don’t think most of them can.”
“So what- you did figure skating, too?”
“No,” he said. “I just knew a girl who did.”
“You mean dated?”
“Probably not by your definition.”
“Why is that?”
“Well if she and I dated, that would mean you and I were in a relationship, too.”
I laughed. “You just held hands and skated with her?”
“There was some kissing, too.”
“But we haven’t kisse-”
“Yet,” he said.
“So you’re not gay then?”
“What?!” His eyes got wide. “Of course I’m not gay.”
“I didn’t think so.”
“Why would you even say that?”
“My friend wanted to know. I told her I was going ice skating with a handsome man who had great hair.”