by Simone Grey
“I just had a big fight with my mom.”
Levi’s eyes soften immediately. He knows all too well about my history with my mom. He sits down on the couch next to me.
“She put a party together to try and find me a husband.”
“What?” Levi says glancing at me sharply.
A short laugh escapes me. And then I tell him the whole story ending with her calling me and embarrassment.
Once I’m finished his eyes are shining with anger and his jaw is clenched tight. “You know everything she said is bullshit right?” he says.
“Is it?” I mutter before I can stop myself.
I know what I do is meaningful, and I know I put everything I have into my books. But sometimes…those doubts do creep into my mind. Am I really an embarrassment?
My father saves people’s lives for a living. My sister helps children and teenagers on a daily basis, giving them a place to go when they can’t go home.
In the grand scheme of things, what I do seems so insignificant compared to what they do.
“Damn right she’s fucking wrong. Look at me,” Levi snaps. And the tone of his voice has me looking him in the eyes.
I’m taken aback by the clear anger I see written all over his face.
His hands cup my cheeks and his face comes close within a few inches of mine.
“You are the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met before in my life. If your mother can’t see that then there’s something wrong with her. Not you. Do you understand me? You are the best person I know. Say it.”
The words get stuck in my throat as I try to swallow the lump his words have just placed there.
“Say it,” Levi demands.
“I’m the best person you know,” I whisper.
His expression relaxes only marginally.
“Good.” He pulls me into a tight hug. I cling to him absorbing his scent and his strength. All at once my emotions for him and the love I feel overwhelm me.
When I pull back slightly my eyes get hung up on his lips and I don’t think before I lean forward and press my lips to his. He stiffens immediately.
It takes me a second to realize he’s not kissing me back but once I do practically dive off the couch. He stares at me stunned and I stare back at him.
“Oh my god”, I mutter as humiliation sweeps through me like a dark cloud.
“Mia,” he murmurs my name.
“Oh my god,” I say louder this time turning away from him.
I can’t. I can’t look at him right now. I can’t believe I just kissed my best friend. The person who means the most to me.
I just singlehandedly ruined everything. Panic takes up residence inside of me swirling around vigorously like a tornado.
“Mia.” The feeling of Levi’s hand touching my arm has that damn spark sliding up my arm again. I hastily jump back almost tripping over myself in the process.
“Damn it, be careful,” he says gently grabbing my hands, so I don’t trip and fall. I pull back immediately once I have my balance. I feel the tears building in my eyes again, and this time I know I won’t be able to stop them from falling.
“I-I have to go. I’m so sorry.” I bolt for the door without looking for him.
“Mia, wait!” Levi yells but I evade his grasp yanking the door open and almost running right into Jayce.
“Whoa!” he says drawing up short.
I don’t stop to see is he says anything else. I hightail it out of the building.
I can hear Levi shouting my name behind me. Once I push through the front door, I duck quickly into the café next door hoping and praying that he didn’t see me come in here.
A few minutes pass and then my phone starts buzzing in my hands. Levi’s number flashes across the screen. I quickly hit the ignore button and it immediately starts ringing again.
Quickly calling yet, another uber. I manage to keep my tears in check until I get into the back seat and give the woman directions to Imani’s place.
Once she’s pulled off, I let the tears of humiliation take over.
Chapter Five
LEVI
I dial Mia’s number for what has to be the tenth time since she ran out on me. It goes straight to voicemail.
“Dammit!” I yell throwing the phone down in disgust. I rake my fingers through my hair as the last half hour replays over in my head. Our conversation and then that kiss.
That. Fucking. Kiss.
It wasn’t much more than the brushing of our lips against each other’s, but it felt like more. Much fucking more. When Mia’s lips touched mine, it was like my world shifted into clear focus.
It sounds cliché as hell but it’s the truth. Never has a kiss affected me so greatly and I know it wasn’t a fluke. It can’t be. Mia means more to me than anybody else in this world.
A knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts. Jayce sticks his head into the room, concern written all over his face. He had a front row seat to Mia running away from me. That look of pure panic on her face is etched into my memory.
“Everybody’s waiting for you man. Are you ready?”
“Nah,” I say getting up from the chair. I grab my jacket from the couch and shrug it on. “I’ve got something to take care of.”
Shock splashes across his face. “You’re leaving now? Dude, I don’t know if I can cover for you.”
Does he really think I can stick around here after that? Shaking my head, I grab my wallet and shove it into my back pocket. “I don’t give a fuck. I need to go. Now.”
Jayce looks me in the eye, and he must see the desperation in mines because he simply nods and steps out of the way. “Go do what you need to do.”
I brush past him and take the back entrance out of the building. Jogging down the stairs, I reach my car in no time dialing Mia as I go. Straight to voicemail.
She will not avoid me forever; I refuse to allow it. That look of panic on her face is something I’ll never forget. The way her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped opened was something I haven’t seen on her often. It’s the type of face a person makes when they feel like they’ve royally screwed up. I know she thinks she messed up our friendship or did some type of irreparable damage, but that’s not the case. In fact, it’s the furthest thing from the truth.
A few minutes later, I’m pulling up in front of her apartment. I give the doorman a nod and take the stairs up to her floor. I knock on the door.
“Mia! Open up it’s me!” I knock and knock some more before it slowly dawns on me that she’s not here.
“Fuck.”
Pulling out my phone I shoot Mia a text since she won’t answer my damn calls. I’m about to shove my phone back into my pocket when a text message from Jayce comes through.
JAYCE: You need to get back here, everybody’s looking for you.
Frustration seeps into my skin as I pocket my phone and head back to my car.
This isn’t over. Not by a long shot.
***
It’s been two days since I’ve seen or heard from Mia.
Two. Fucking. Days.
We haven’t gone this long without talking to each other since I had to go to China a few years back for a photo shoot. The drastic change in time zones and my work schedule screwed up our ability to talk as often as we normally would. We’ve always made it a point to check in with each other at least once a day even if it’s just through text messages. I never realized how dependent I’d become on hearing from her every day until it was stripped away from me.
She’s obviously not at her place, I have a feeling she’s camped out at Imani’s place but that girl is like a steel trap door when she wants to be and I know she’s almost as protective of Mia as I am. When I called to ask if she’d seen Mia and she said no, I knew she was lying through her teeth
I shove a hand through my hair as I slam my car door and make my way into the building that houses Liam and Ava’s place. They just got back to Chicago a few days ago. If anybody can shed light on the situ
ation it’s him. I greet the doorman and then use my keycard to gain access to the elevator. Once the doors slide open on the top floor, I step inside. The first person I see is Ava. She’s dressed in a sweatshirt and cut off black capri’s. Her hair is piled into a bun on top of her head and she’s stirring something in a bowl.
A smile lights up her face when she sees me. “Hey Levi.”
“Hey”, I say giving her a side hug.
A frown pulls at the corners of her mouth and she looks me up and down. I know I look like shit.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, concern brimming in her eyes.
This is one of the reasons I like Ava and think she’s good for my brother. She’s a genuine and kind person. She has a good heart. She reminds me a lot of Mia in that respect.
I shrug leaning against the counter. “I’ve just got a lot of shit going on right now.”
She sets the spoon down inside the bowl “Do you want to talk about it?”
I open my mouth to respond when I hear a voice behind me say “Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.” I look over my shoulder to see Liam, Gabe and Gavin coming into the kitchen.
Liam immediately goes over to Ava and wraps his arms around her. She leans back into him seemingly soaking in his warmth. He places a kiss on her nose and then her lips. Any other time I would give them shit for being so sappy. But I can’t bring myself to do it right now. Not when I’ve got my own shit going on.
“You look like shit” Gavin says eyeing me over the rim of his water bottle.
“Gee thanks.” I mutter.
“He’s not wrong” Liam says.
Gabe comes to stand beside me, slapping a tattooed hand on my shoulder. “What’s eating you bro?” he asks.
“I’m having an…issue with Mia.”
“What’s wrong?” Ava asks that concern back in her eyes. I know she and Mia have hung out a few times since she started dating Liam. They seemed to be getting close which I like.
“She’s okay, physically at least. I think…I think I screwed up.” I force the words out.
“What did you do?” Gavin asks.
I run another hand through my hair. “It all happened so fucking fast. She came to see me at my photo shoot the other day. She’d just gotten into with her mom. One minute I was comforting her and the next minute she kissed me. I was shocked, she panicked and bolted and hasn’t spoken to me since.”
Silence greets me and I finally look up to find all my brothers watching me with shit eating grins on their faces. It just pisses me off.
“What the fuck is so smile worthy?” I ask.
“I’ll be damned.” Gavin mutters still smiling.
“You’ve finally been gotten,” Liam says.
“What?” I ask confused.
“When you know you know,” Liam says.
Gabe rolls his eyes “Here yall go with that stupid saying again.”
Ava looks between all of us confused. “I’m clearly missing something here?”
“Don’t mind us baby, we’re just trying to help Levi pull his head out of his ass,” Liam says.
“Fuck you,” I mutter with no heat. “How do I fix this?”
“Have you been to her place?” Gavin asks.
“Yeah, she’s not there.”
“Have you called her?” Gabe asks.
“Of course, I’ve fucking called her. She won’t take my calls.”
“I think you all are missing a bigger point here,” Ava says.
“What’s that?” Gabe asks.
Ava pins me with a look. “Did you enjoy the kiss. Feel anything for her?”
I shift uncomfortably “Well, yeah I did. But the truth is I’d already been feeling things I shouldn’t have before then.”
“Okay and when she kissed, what happened you froze up. Did you say anything else?” Liam asks.
“No,” I say crossing my arms over my chest. “She bolted before I could say much of anything.
“Had you figured this out sooner, then you wouldn’t even be in this predicament.” Gavin says.
“Figured what out? What the hell are you all talking about?”
“That you’re in love with her,” Gavin says pining me with a look.
I gape at him for a moment, shocked stupid.
Am I in love with Mia? I’m not sure. I know what I feel for her is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I know that the thought of not talking to her or seeing her for more than a twenty-four-hour period has panic racing though me.
Holy shit. It smacks me upside the head. I sink down into the seat next to me.
“Now he’s finally getting it,” Liam mutters.
“Welcome to the party bro, it’s about time you got here,” Gavin says wandering over to the refrigerator.
Looking around at my brothers, it hits me that they already figured it out before I did.
“How long have you all known?”
“Years now. It became glaringly obvious when we all went on that cruise a few years back to celebrate mom and dad’s wedding anniversary and Mia couldn’t make it. You spent more time talking and texting her than you spent doing anything else. Hell, Ava even picked up on it the first time she saw you two together,” Liam says.
My eyes shift to Ava and she smiles sheepishly.
“It was all in the way you looked at her and she looked at you like you were the only two people in the room. It was sweet,” she says shrugging.
My throat closes with emotion.
How she looked at you.
Is it possible that Mia feels the same way and I’ve just been too blind too see it? My phone beeps with a message and I pull it out of my pocket. My heart stops then starts again when I see who the text message is from. Mia.
MIA: Hey, can you come over to my apartment? We need to talk.
I’m up and heading towards the door before I’ve even finished the sentence.
“Don’t fuck it up,” Gavin yells at my retreating back.
I throw up my middle finger in response. Their laughter follows me down the hallway.
Chapter Six
MIA
“I’m so sorry. It was a mistake. I never meant to put you in that position or risk ruining our friendship.” I repeat those words over and over to myself as I pace back and forth my living room.
Glancing at the clock, I see that it’s only been five minutes since I sent the text message to Levi and he responded.
Nerves, regret, and humiliation have been a living breathing thing inside of me over the past forty-eight hours since That Day, as I’ve been referring to it.
Once I left that café, I took an uber over to Imani’s place and spent one night there. The next day I came back to my apartment to lick my wounds. Imani tried to convince me that what happened between Levi and I was a good thing.
But I can’t even bring myself to think along those lines. She didn’t see the look on his face. The shock and disbelief were written all over him and that expression he wore is permanently burned into my mind.
After I got over the initial panic, I started to think rationally about the situation. The first thing I need to do is apologize, chalk it up to a mistake. Once I’ve apologized, I’ll act as though it never happened and hope that we can go back to the way our friendship was before That Day.
I know my feelings for him haven’t gone anywhere. If anything, they’ve gotten stronger. But I can’t risk not having him in my life.
I’d rather have Levi as my best friend than no Levi at all. Imani thinks that I should start going on a few dates with other men and I begrudgingly agreed. If I’m going to have any hopes of getting over him, then I have to at least try to go out with somebody else. Something I hadn’t even thought about until she brought it up.
I repeat my prepared speech in my head a few more times before there’s a knock on my door.
I pause my pacing and my heart immediately starts racing in my chest. My palms get sweaty and a flush of heat comes over my skin.
The knock
ing persists.
“You can do this Mia,” I mutter to myself as I rush to the door.
The deep breath I was about to take gets stuck in my throat once I pull the door open and get my first look at Levi in two days.
He’s dressed in blue jeans and a t-shirt that stretches across his biceps and molds to his broad shoulders. His hair is in a messy disarray like he’s been running his hands repeatedly through it, something he only does when he’s stressed.
But when I look up into his eyes, it’s like a punch to the gut.
All the words I’d just spent an hour practicing, get stuck in my throat when I look into his eyes.
It’s an expression I’ve never seen before, the intensity emanating from him has me taking a step back. He follows me in and shuts the door behind him without a word. He keeps coming forward until my back is up against the wall next to the door.
He big body crowds me and his face is inches from mine. His mouth is centimeters from my own. His scent surrounds me and from this close I can see darker flecks of green in his eyes.
“W-what are you do--.” I don’t even finish the sentence before his lips our on mine.
A gasp leaves me, and my hands instinctively go to his shoulder. My mouth opens slightly in shock and he takes that opportunity to stroke his tongue into my mouth and I just melt. A flush of desire spreads quickly through me as all rational thought flies from my mind. All I feel is him as I lean further into the kiss.
He groans circling his arms around my waist and I wrap mines around his neck. We’re lined up in all the places that matter.
All at once reality slams back into me with the force of a sledgehammer hitting a wall.
I pull my mouth away from his with effort. He tries to follow me put I place my hands on his shoulders telling him without words to stop.
He growls low in his throat and holy crap, the sound goes straight between my legs, causing another rush of arousal to hit me.
His eyes are heavy lidded and the lust in them is unmistakable. It’s lust for me.
I’ve written about attraction and lust between my characters more times that I can count, but I’ve never actually felt it. I’ve always just drawn on and what I imagine it to be like.