by Carol Voss
“Sounds wonderful. Yes, I can imagine myself working here some days.”
“Good. How’s your cottage coming along?”
“Tony and his men cleaned it out this morning. Everything in the living room was either worn-out or ruined by smoke or water, so I need to figure out what I’ll do for furniture on my limited budget.”
“There are several shops you might want to check out. Ask Lou which ones. She knows everything about this town.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that.”
“I want to thank you for looking out for Zebadiah Krentz during the blizzard.”
“He lives in pretty primitive conditions.”
“I stop there occasionally, but he always refuses to open the door for me. I’m thankful he did for you.”
“He knew my father and my grandparents. That seemed to be the key.”
“You know, some people, even when they desperately need help, feel it’s demeaning to ask for it.” He gave her a meaningful look. “They’d rather go without than need someone.”
Ignoring his gaze, she looked at her watch. “I have to leave. Joey needs a nap before we go on Harold’s sleigh ride later. He’s really looking forward to it.”
“I am, too. Aren’t you?”
She nodded.
“I hope you’ll build on your contact with Zebadiah. I have a feeling he’s one of those people I’m talking about.”
Alyssa took a step back, relieved he didn’t seem to be talking about her. But he was giving her the chance to be the helper instead of being the helped? “What do you think he needs?”
“A friend. He doesn’t seem to know it, but I think that’s it. I hope you’ll be his friend.”
“I’m just not sure I’d make a good friend right now.”
“Ben mentioned your husband was killed this past year. Actually, I’m impressed with how well you’re doing.”
“You are?”
“Very. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy, but moving here was a big step. It takes some people years to move on after losing a loved one. Some are never able to do it. I believe you’re just what Zebadiah needs.”
“You really think I can help?”
He nodded.
“Then I’ll do my best.”
He smiled. “I’m sure you can reach him in a way I can’t. Thank you, Alyssa.”
“I hope I don’t disappoint you.”
“I’m not the least concerned about that. Don’t you be concerned either. Just do what you can.”
Friendships weren’t always built in a few days. Not like hers and Ben’s had been. Come to think of it, she’d never become friends with anybody so quickly, let alone so easily spilling her problems and secrets. Then again, how many people had she met like Ben Cooper?
She gathered her things and headed down the hall to the day care to get the boys. Walking past the closed doors of the sanctuary on the way, she remembered the pain that had ripped through her earlier. Pain as fresh as the night the policewoman had rapped on her door when Cam hadn’t come home from a quick run to the convenience store. Remembered struggling with nausea and focusing on her pain until it subsided. Remembered Ben escorting her out of the sanctuary.
She stopped, made herself open the door and walk in. The cross commanded her attention the way it had before. But this time, there was less pain, little nausea. No tears. Only thoughts of Ben and her new job and befriending Zebadiah Krentz spun in her mind.
She was facing Cam’s death. And she was moving ahead with her life. It felt really good to be on the giving end for a change.
Chapter Seven
The rich smells of leather and horses mingled with the fresh scents of snow and the straw padding the sleigh box. Coop watched Harold drive his team of prancing, snorting draft horses along the county road. Hope rode shotgun, thanks to Harold always treating her like one of his granddaughters.
The sleighful of friends and relatives talked and laughed, everybody excited that Alyssa had accepted the job at church and would be organizing the fund-raiser. Sandwiched between Pastor Nick and Alyssa with Robbie in her arms, Coop held Joey close to keep him steady.
The little guy’s eyes were fastened on the big, bobbing heads of the horses. He’d wanted to bring Digger along, but Coop convinced him there wasn’t room for a ninety-pound dog, especially one who barked at anything that moved.
Alyssa’s eyes were almost as wide as Joey’s. Coop couldn’t seem to keep from watching her.
“Isn’t this exciting, Joey?” Alyssa beamed at her son.
She always had a smile for her boys. He liked that about her. Face it, Coop. What don’t you like about her?
Leaving her at the church this morning had been difficult. He’d wanted to stay for moral support if nothing else, but she’d insisted he go back to the paper instead. “You doing okay?” he asked quietly.
“I’m doing great. What about you?”
“Fine.” Truth was, he’d be doing a whole lot better if he hadn’t realized how he felt about her.
Harold turned the team onto a small road into his hayfield, people laughing and scrambling to hang on during the turn.
Coop grasped the side of the sleigh and held Joey tighter to keep him upright. In the slippery cushion of straw, he slid into Nick, the soft bump of Alyssa’s hip an unexpected pleasure. He turned to her. “Gotta watch those turns.”
Her pretty pink flush told him she was probably embarrassed.
He held her gaze, looking for what, he couldn’t be sure.
A tiny smile crinkled the corners of her eyes.
He smiled in return.
She dropped her gaze, but she didn’t move away.
That special stillness filled him just as it had in the sanctuary. Did she feel it, too? Did he dare hope for that? Or was he out on this limb all by himself?
The horses strained to slog through huge snowdrifts the wind had banked in the open field, the sleigh bouncing and jerking with their efforts.
Coop simply enjoyed Alyssa’s closeness and did his best to ignore the caution sign blinking in his mind’s eye. So he wanted to be close to the pretty woman beside him. It didn’t mean he planned to do anything about it, right?
Joey turned to him with a serious look. “The black horse is named Jack. That lady told me.” He pointed to Lou. “And the white horse is Dolly.” The boy leaned closer and cupped his hand to whisper loudly in Coop’s ear. “I like Jack best, but I don’t want to hurt Dolly’s feelings.”
Coop tugged the kid’s hat to allow him to see better.
“That’s very considerate, Joey,” Nick commented.
Joey eyed the pastor. “I don’t know that word,” he said shyly.
Nick was obviously surprised. He always seemed a little mystified by young kids.
“Considerate means you think about others,” Coop offered.
“That’s right.” Nick gave Coop a lifted eyebrow. “Thanks.”
Coop grinned. “It helps to have a kid of your own.”
Nick chuckled. “Someday, I hope. Until then, I’ll use you as a resource.”
“Feel free.”
Jostling her baby, Alyssa struggled to maintain her balance.
“Lean on me.” Coop turned his back to her.
“Thanks.” She positioned herself to take advantage of his support.
He liked that she’d taken him up on his offer without hesitation. Made him feel good...like anything could be possible.
But before long, the sleigh broke free with a bone-jostling shudder, its runners skimming through smooth snow on a firm snowmobile trail kept void of drifts by the dense forest of firs shielding it. Unfortunately, Alyssa moved away a little.
He missed her warmth.
“Sorry about that rough patch,” Haro
ld tossed back to his passengers. “The ride will be smooth as glass from here.”
“Thanks to the Noah’s Crossing Snowmobilers’ Club for planting rows of trees a few years back to block drifting,” Max bragged.
Harold raised his arm in acknowledgment. A man of his word, he guided the team through the hushed winter wonderland, the thud of horses’ hooves in the snow as steady as the beat of Coop’s heart.
Joey cupped his hand around Coop’s ear again.
Coop leaned closer.
“Can I sit by the horses with Hope?” the kid asked in a loud whisper that included plenty of spit.
“Harold, is there room for Joey to sit with you and Hope for a while?”
“Sure thing. Hand him up. Hope’s doing a fine job driving the horses.”
Hope flashed a victory smile over her shoulder.
“Will you hang on very, very tight?” Alyssa asked.
Joey gave her a serious nod.
“Okay, then.” Alyssa looked squarely at Coop, making it clear she was trusting him on this.
Feeling great to have her trust him with something so important as her son’s welfare, Coop lifted Joey to Max. “Boy coming through.”
“Got him.” Max turned and planted Joey firmly in Harold’s waiting arms.
Coop settled back to enjoy the scenery. Tall firs layered with snow softened the landscape. A pair of cardinals, the male brilliant against the snow-covered pines, flitted through the trees. The birds called to each other in soft, staccato chirps like surveyors mapping new terrain now that the snow had blurred familiar landmarks.
Coop silently pointed at a doe and fawn standing as still as statues as the mother sniffed the air for danger.
With the baby dozing in her arms, Alyssa leaned against the side of the sleigh box, her deep blue eyes watching the doe reach for a low branch of a cedar. “That looks like the chapel where my gram and gramps were married.” She pointed.
He peered through the trees, the small stone building topped with a white steeple standing out in the sea of white. “It’s the old community church.”
“Harold’s ancestors donated the land,” Lou said, “and farmers in the area built the church, Liz and my ancestors included.”
“Gram took me there once. I’m so happy to see it again!” Alyssa exclaimed.
Coop couldn’t help smiling at the excitement in her voice. Amazing how much her happiness affected him. And when it came right down to it, he couldn’t change the way she made him feel. But why would he want to when it was so good?
Wait a minute.
Protecting Hope was the most important thing he’d ever taken on. Did he really have to remind himself how badly he’d let her down when he’d trusted Denise to care for her? When he’d fired the caretaker, Hope had been devastated. How much worse would it be if he invited a woman into their personal lives and the relationship ended for some reason?
He’d not pursued a serious relationship since he had Hope. He’d never seemed to have time. And honestly, he hadn’t met anybody he wanted to pursue. Why now? Hope would be going off to college in a few short years. Maybe he’d fill that part of his life then. Who knew?
He studied Alyssa’s profile, a smile tweaking his lips. She was the answer to Why now?
And as to what he was going to do about his feelings for her? All he could do was figure it out as he went. And pray. Dear God, give me the perspective to see how my feelings for Alyssa could affect not only Hope but Alyssa and her boys. And give me the wisdom to figure out what’s best for all of us.
Breaking free of the protection of trees, Harold turned the team onto the county road toward home. Everybody scrambled for balance again.
* * *
Alyssa decided the delicious casserole Tony’s grandmother sent over after the fire was the perfect dinner solution that evening. Cleaning up the kitchen afterward, Hope asked her dad to take her and Joey sledding on Walnut Hill. Being the great dad he was, Ben agreed to put off the article he needed to write for the paper until later and take them all to Walnut Hill.
Now, Alyssa cuddled Robbie on the summit, the full moon bathing the snow-softened hillside and highlighting clusters of families or teenagers sliding down or climbing up the hill. The air was crisp as Ben pulled Joey up the hill on the toboggan, Hope walking alongside.
When they arrived, he’d insisted on holding Robbie to allow Alyssa to take a few rides down the hill with Hope and Joey. Surprisingly, Robbie had thought Ben holding him was just fine. It looked as if her baby had gotten used to having Ben around. She wished he’d accept Hope, too.
Hope soon let Alyssa know she would rather be sledding with her dad, and who could blame her? She was used to having her dad all to herself. Determined to avoid anything that might complicate the wonderful relationship Ben had with his daughter, Alyssa insisted he take his turn. And so he did.
Now, she watched him line up the toboggan on the crest of the hill and thought about how much she’d enjoyed sitting with him on the sleigh ride this afternoon. She hadn’t realized how much she missed the warmth of being close with a man. Or his occasional unexpected touch or smile. But then, Ben wasn’t just any man.
She watched him give the kids a shove, turn and stride toward her. She did her best to tamp down her skittish pulse. “Having fun?”
“Yeah.” He gave her his secret-weapon smile. “You?”
“Yes.” Of course, she smiled in return. It was impossible not to. “I’ve never been on Walnut Hill before. I was here only for summers, you know.”
“You think you’ll stay at Rainbow Lake for a while?”
“As long as I can.”
“Indefinitely, maybe?”
“Maybe. I love it here.”
“I sure understand that.”
“You said you’ve been here for seven years. I’m surprised you haven’t gotten married and settled down with somebody by now.” Did she sound as if she was fishing for information? She hoped not. She wasn’t, was she? “Just curious,” she qualified.
“Matchmaking around here is pretty much a spectator sport.”
She shook her head, not understanding. “Spectator sport?”
“Dates in Chicago used to be casual, fun, no big deal. Here, they’re a news event that invites the whole town to forecast the future of the pair. Not a bad thing if you’re hoping for a future with the woman in question. Otherwise, you don’t date.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Unfortunately, no. At least, not by much. Between that and never having the time, I haven’t ventured into dating for a long time.”
“Sounds awful.”
“Yeah. I suppose if I’d found the right woman—” he kicked at the snow with his boot “—then maybe it would be worth taking a chance?”
“You’re asking me that question?”
Nodding, he peered at her as if her answer was important.
Confusion muddled her. “Are you asking me for dating advice?”
“Just wondering what you think about taking a chance on the right person.”
She nibbled her lip. Tried to give his question the thought it deserved, then sighed. “I’ve never been much of a risk taker. I think life is enough of a risk to begin with.”
“I can see how you might feel that way, especially given your situation.” He looked glum. “Me? I’ve always been concerned about risking Hope’s sense of security.”
“By a woman rejecting her, you mean?”
“Yeah. Or being insensitive to her or unable to love her. I don’t know. It’s something I worry about.”
“Then you’re not thinking about dating the right kind of woman.” The problem was, she didn’t want to think about him being involved with any woman. Any woman other than herself? But that was crazy.
He ra
ised an eyebrow. “Which kind of woman would that be?”
“Any woman who wouldn’t have your family’s best interest at heart.”
He studied her intently, then nodded. “Good point.”
Hope and Joey reached the top of the hill.
“Come on, Dad. Go down with us this time.”
“Still catching my breath, kiddo.”
Hope glowered at Alyssa.
“She really wants you to go with her. Please don’t let me stop you,” Alyssa said quietly.
“You guys go ahead. I’ll go with you next time.”
“Hang on, Joey. You ready?”
“Ready.”
Hope pushed off, and they went streaking down the hill.
Ben turned to Alyssa.
After their serious conversation on dating, Alyssa was ready to lighten the mood. She focused on the Chicago Bears emblem on Ben’s headband. “There’s something I don’t understand.”
“What’s that?”
“How do you get away with supporting the Bears in Green Bay Packers territory?”
“Not easily. I get in some pretty heated conversations. Max and Harold accuse me of being a traitor. But my dad and I cheered for the Bears long before I knew Max and Harold, so they’ve conceded I’m a lost cause. You like football?”
“I don’t know anything about it.”
“I guess I figured that out when you took off to look for rentals Sunday afternoon instead of watching the game.”
“Maybe you can teach me a few things about it?”
“You’re on.”
Robbie gave her a toothless smile.
She smiled back. “Robbie seems to have accepted you.”
“He watched me pretty closely.”
“But he cries for everybody else.”
“I’m glad he didn’t do that. Tears get me every time.”
“Uh-oh. Is that why you invited me to stay in your guest room the night of the fire? To stop my tears?”
“Probably.” He met her gaze, mischief in his eyes. “Honestly? I don’t remember why I invited you to stay.”