by Carol Voss
“More, please?” she whispered back.
He didn’t waste any time granting her request.
She returned his kiss with joy, clung to him as if she’d never let him go.
“Dad!”
Alyssa stiffened, abruptly ended the kiss.
Ben gave her a confused frown.
“Hope?” Stepping away from Ben, Alyssa focused on the now-empty doorway.
Ben looked even more confused. “Hope’s in school.”
The girl stepped around the door frame, her pixie face contorted with anger and hurt. She glared at her father. “I tried to warn you. Why wouldn’t you listen?” she yelled.
Ben stared at his daughter in shock. “Why aren’t you in school?”
“The bus dropped me off, and your truck’s outside the cottage. How was I to know you didn’t want me here?” Fists clenched at her sides, she turned to Alyssa. “I knew you were after my dad the minute you moved in with us,” she yelled. “I hope you’re happy.”
Alyssa shut her eyes.
“Hope,” Ben said sharply.
Bursting into tears, Hope turned and ran, the front door slamming behind her seconds later.
“She doesn’t mean that.” He reached for Alyssa.
She laid her hand on his chest. “Go to her.”
He caressed her cheek, then turned and strode out of the room to find his daughter.
Chapter Twelve
Coop charged through his kitchen, looking for Hope. He’d never seen her more upset.
“Upstairs.” Lou sat at the table, sewing something with a needle and thread.
Robbie kicked and waved in his carrier nearby.
Joey looked up from his drawing. “Hi, Ben.”
“Hey, Joey.” He sounded as upset as Hope was. He needed to calm down, or he wouldn’t get anywhere with her.
He strode through the great room, took the stairs two at a time and rapped on the giant poster of Digger covering her door. “I’m coming in.” He tried to turn the knob. “You locked the door?” he asked incredulously. “Let me in.”
Silence.
“Hope, let me in. If I have to get a key—”
The lock clicked.
He pushed into the room just as Hope flopped facedown onto her bedspread covered with Digger look-alikes. “Sit up. We need to have a serious talk.”
She ignored him.
“I’m planning to stay right here until you look me in the eye.”
She sat up, but she squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want to look at you.”
“Not proud of yourself?”
She just sat there, eyes closed, tears leaking down her cheeks.
Her tears always made him want to wrap her safely in his arms and tell her everything would be all right. And it usually was. But this situation was uncharted territory.
Covering her face with her hands, she burst into sobs.
Great. Just what he needed. He reached to comfort her.
She turned away.
He clenched his jaw against the sting of her rejection. He paced across the floor to the bookshelves loaded with books, many they’d read together. Others, they’d shared and discussed with laughter and fun.
What happened to that bond of trust and devotion? How had they gotten to this awful place? He had no idea, but he couldn’t dwell on a happier time right now. Right now, he needed to man up and do the hard part of parenting. “Crying isn’t going to help, kiddo.”
“I’m not...not...proud of...you either,” she sputtered between sobs.
He shifted his feet. “Okay. Care to explain?”
“I saw you—” she made a face “—kissing her.”
He thought about how happy kissing Alyssa made him. About how much he looked forward to kissing her again. No way was he going to apologize for it. “We like each other, Hope. I’m sorry we surprised you.”
“I don’t want her here.”
“You’ve made that abundantly clear with your rudeness. Don’t you think you hurt her feelings every time you act like that?”
“I knew you’d take her side.”
“There are no sides here.”
“Are, too.”
He blew out a breath. “If you feel that way, it’s because she’s trying and you’re not.”
Tears erupted all over again.
“Come on, Hope.” He grabbed a couple tissues from the bedside table and handed them to her.
She took them and began mopping her face.
“She’s moving out Saturday. Then it will be just you and me again. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“That doesn’t mean you’re going to stop seeing her, right?”
“I won’t lie to you, Hope. I like her...very much. And I like being with her. Can you tell me what it is you don’t like about her?”
“I don’t know.”
“Just give me one reason.”
Her head shooting up, she looked him square in the eye. “Just because I can’t tell you a reason doesn’t mean I like her, does it? Stop trying to fix me, Dad.”
He frowned at her. “I’m not trying to fix you.”
“You try to fix everything. Mostly, it turns out good. Like our house and Digger and the newspaper and the old building in town.” She sighed. “But fixing people never works.”
“I don’t try to fix people.”
“What about my mother? And Denise? I mean, people have their own feelings. You don’t get to tell anybody else how to feel. Not even me.”
He scrubbed his hand over his scruffy jaw, frowned unseeingly at nothing in particular and let the words of his twelve-year-old percolate through his mind. He tried to help people. Was that so wrong?
But had he been trying to impose his feelings for Alyssa onto Hope? He wanted to deny it, but it rang too true. Is that why Hope resented Alyssa? It made sense, didn’t it, given she couldn’t come up with any reason she didn’t like her? “I’ve never wanted to tell you how to feel. Not about Alyssa or anything else. Honest.”
She focused on the floor.
“I do think it’s wrong to treat people badly. Don’t you?”
She nodded.
“Then why do you want to hurt Alyssa?”
“I don’t want to tell you.”
“Why not?”
“’Cause it will hurt your feelings.”
“You think you need to protect me? That’s my job.”
“She’s gonna leave, Dad. I know she is.”
His throat felt thick. “Like your mother? And Denise?”
She still wouldn’t meet his eyes.
He wanted to put his arms around her and make her insecurities go away. If only it were that simple. “Their leaving had nothing to do with you, Hope. You were the reason they dared to dream of a different life for themselves. One that included you. They just weren’t able to do it, that’s all.”
She squinted at him as if trying to make sense of his words.
“I don’t know how things will turn out with Alyssa in the long run, kiddo. But I believe she’s worth taking a chance on.”
She shook her head.
“Will you think about it?”
“I don’t want to think about it.” Flopping onto her stomach, she smothered her sobs in her bedspread. “And I don’t want you to kiss her.”
He flinched. “You’re behaving like a child.”
More crying.
Okay. She was a child. But she’d always been a reasonable one. Loving and kind and considerate. Easy to love. The kind you could take in your arms and talk out of a tantrum.
Too bad he didn’t have any experience dealing with a kid who yelled and cried and dug in her heels when he told her to do something. If this was a tast
e of what teenagers were like, he wanted to go back in time in a big way. Like that was ever going to happen.
Right now, he needed to take a break. See if he could figure out what to do. But he wouldn’t compromise on one thing. “I expect you to apologize to Alyssa.”
“I’m not sorry. I’ll never be sorry. Ever.” Her words were muffled in her bedspread, but he heard them loud and clear.
“I think you need to pray about this.” Chest heavy, he walked out of her room and closed the door behind him.
He needed to go over to the cottage, help Alyssa finish up painting and make sure she was okay. Striding past the guest room, he was surprised to see the door standing open. Knocking softly, he peeked inside. “Joey?”
* * *
“It’s me.” Relieved Ben and Hope weren’t arguing anymore, Alyssa dumped a stack of clothes into one of the suitcases she’d opened on the bed.
“Lou still downstairs with the kids?” Ben moved into the room.
“She’s staying to allow me to pack for a little while.” She plopped another stack of clothes into the suitcase.
He closed the door behind him. “I suppose the whole house heard Hope and me?”
“Mostly Hope.” The girl’s “I don’t want you to kiss her...I’m not sorry. I’ll never be sorry. Ever” stood out in Alyssa’s mind.
He crossed the room to her, his posture tense, his eyes pinched with strain. “I’m sorry.”
“Who can blame her? What can possibly erase her memory of walking in on her father kissing a woman she doesn’t approve of?”
“I wish she hadn’t walked in when she did. But don’t think for a moment I regret kissing you. I don’t want you to regret it either.”
She could still feel his hand in her hair, his lips on hers. She did her best to push the memory from her mind and focus on Hope. “I think she’s afraid I’m displacing her. In her home. And with you.”
“I’ve kept up her normal activities with her, done my best to reassure her.... Nothing seems to help.” He clenched his jaw.
She couldn’t stand seeing him so upset. She hated that she was causing a rift between him and his daughter. It couldn’t go on. “I’m moving out tomorrow morning instead of waiting until Saturday.”
He frowned. “Tony and his crew need tomorrow to finish up.”
“I’ll work around them. I can’t make Hope so miserable any longer. And after seeing us kissing? It would be impossible. The poor girl is really having trouble.”
“I know she is. But we didn’t finish painting your bedroom.”
“It’s mostly done. I can finish it after I move in.”
“What about the fumes with the kids?”
“I’ll paint with the windows open.”
“I won’t be able to help you as much tomorrow. I have too many deadlines.”
“I’m not your responsibility, okay? I’ll ask Lou to help for a while.”
He frowned. “Sounds like you have everything covered. Without my help.”
“Aren’t you relieved?”
He looked at her thoughtfully. “I like taking care of you and your boys.”
She shook her head.
“I depend on you, too, you know,” he said softly.
“But you need to focus on Hope. We all need to get our lives back on track.”
He studied her as if he might try to change her mind. Instead, he reached out and moved a stray hank of hair off her cheek. “I’ll put dinner on the table while you pack, and I’ll carry the heavier stuff over to the cottage while you put the boys down. Deal?”
“Thank you. I’ll eat later.”
He narrowed his eyes. “To avoid Hope?”
“It would be miserable for all of us.”
He gave a nod. “Thanks for being so understanding with her. With both of us.”
“The irony is that neither of you would need understanding if not for me.”
“Then good thing you’re worth it.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“More sure than I’ve been about anybody in a very long time.”
She bit her lip to keep from bursting into tears. How had everything gotten so complicated?
* * *
Late-afternoon sun streaming through the window in the boys’ new bedroom bleached the pale gray walls to soft white. Tony and his men had finished up by noon, and moving day was going more smoothly than Alyssa could ever have dreamed. Ben had seen to that last night. He’d handled dinner, then turned himself into a one-man moving machine.
While she had packed and organized and put the boys to bed, he’d emptied his basement of beds, new mattresses, and everything they’d salvaged from the fire or she’d brought in the U-Haul. He’d carried it all to the cottage. Then he’d helped her move suitcases and boxes of clothes she’d stored in the guest-room closet until they were both ready to drop.
Through it all, Hope had stayed in her room, and Ben had checked on her a couple of times. It was awful knowing she was the reason he and Hope were hurting so badly. Moving was the only thing she could do to help them.
Now, screwdriver in hand, she finished attaching the side rail on Robbie’s maple crib and shook it to make sure it was solid.
If only she felt more solid herself. With each trip she’d made from Ben’s place she’d felt less sure of herself.
But she’d moved to Rainbow Lake to be on her own, hadn’t she? It was just that Ben supported her the way no one ever had. He seemed to believe she knew what she was doing. He encouraged her when she doubted herself. He made her feel that her opinions and feelings mattered. As if she mattered. Was that what made this separation so difficult?
Doing her best to focus on her task, she lifted the mattress into the crib, took a sheet and blankets from the changing table and began making the bed.
Joey’s attitude about the move certainly didn’t help. She’d been trying to prepare him. But when she’d told him they were leaving this morning, he’d launched a major tantrum, and no amount of assurance that they’d be living right next door to Ben had consoled him.
Thankfully, he’d taken a long nap at Ben’s this afternoon. And since Ben had come home from work early, Joey had been following him and his dog around like a lost puppy. What if he regressed into the timid, little boy he’d become when Cam died?
Trying to shake off her worry, she rummaged in the changing table drawer for Robbie’s Pooh Bear mobile. She located it, hung it on the crib and switched on the music box. Anticipating Robbie’s reaction to the cheerful tune made her feel better.
Once she was all moved in, she’d enjoy fixing up the place and organizing it to fit her little family’s needs. It would give her a sense of accomplishment. And she had only a few days before her parents would be here for Thanksgiving. She had too much to do to miss Ben, right?
With that thought spurring her into action, she glanced at the empty bookshelf. Displaying some of Joey’s toys would surprise him and might help him settle in. She opened the suitcase he’d helped her pack full of toys.
The only ones left in the case were Robbie’s. What had Joey done with his things? She walked to the kitchen to find out.
Sitting in his carrier on the floor, Robbie kicked and waved his arms and jabbered at Digger lying near him. Ben and Joey knelt beside Gram’s upside-down table, Ben’s dark head and Joey’s blond one bent over the legs.
A perfect picture. Too bad she’d misplaced her phone camera earlier in the day and been unable to locate it yet. “What’s the problem?”
“It wiggles, but we can fix it,” Joey said confidently. “Can’t we, Ben?”
“Sure can.” Ben looked up at her, his dark eyes so intense she melted before she had enough sense to focus on the table. Oh yeah, moving into her own place made sense. All she had to d
o was to figure out how to stop missing him. Of course, he would still be right next door.
He took a power tool from his tool belt and handed it to Joey. “This is called a drill. You can look at it, but you need to be very careful with it, okay?”
Joey gave him a serious nod.
Ben glanced up at Alyssa. “The screws stripped the brittle wood, but a brace should take care of it.” He rummaged in the toolbox beside him, took out screws and widgets and laid them beside the table leg.
She focused on her son. “Your toys are missing from the big suitcase we packed. Do you know what happened to them?”
Joey curiously examined Ben’s power drill. “My toys want to live at Ben’s house.”
Why wasn’t she surprised? “Won’t you miss them? Because you will be living here with Robbie and me.”
Putting on a serious pout, he glowered at her. “I’m going to live with Ben and Digger and Hope.”
“Can’t happen, buddy.”
“Why?”
“Because Hope goes to school all day, and I go to work.” Ben took his drill from Joey and used it on the table, the loud buzz startling Robbie.
He just looked around, as if he was getting used to hearing unfamiliar sounds.
Ben slipped the drill back in his tool belt.
“I can take care of Digger while you’re gone,” Joey said.
“Robbie will miss you,” Alyssa said. “I’ll miss you, too. What will I do without my helper?”
Joey looked as if he was ready to cry. He stood and wrapped his arms around Ben’s neck. “I love you, Ben.”
Ben folded his arms around her son. “I love you, too, buddy.”
Tears stung her eyes. Another perfect picture she wasn’t capturing.
“It’s scary here,” Joey said into Ben’s neck.
Was he afraid there would be another fire? “We’ll be safe now, honey. Tony fixed the chimney for the fireplace.”
“It’s good as new,” Ben pointed out.
Joey pulled back to look at Ben. “What if robbers come?”
“We don’t have robbers around here.”
“Uh-huh. A boy stealed Hope’s pencil case out of her backpack on her school bus.”
“I didn’t know that,” Ben said. “But nobody on Rainbow Lake has ever had their house robbed, so there’s no reason for you to worry.”