by Kara Dalkey
"I see," I said, not feeling reassured.
"Mind you," Goranu continued, "a tengu would never be so cold-blooded. When we fight, we know we will win. If we don't think we're going to win, we run away. That's because we're more sensible than mortals."
"But I don't know that I will win."
"Is your cause not just?"
"Well, yes, but-"
"Is Lord Emma-O not just?"
"It is said he is, but-"
"Then how can you fail?"
I realized I had no answer to that. "Very well. You are right. Let us go to your Esteemed Ancestor, Susano-wo, so that he may again deliver me to the court of Lord Emma-O."
Goranu began to laugh, holding his sides.
"What is so funny?"
Between laughing and gasping, he said, "You are. I am. I should be angry at you for your arrogance, and yet… and yet… it is so like a tengu."
I did not know what to say. "Forgive me then if it seems arrogant, but it is the only way, neh?"
Goranu fell on his rear end onto the ground, still chuckling. "I am sorry, Most Noble and Beauteous Mitsuko, but what you ask is not possible. My Esteemed Ancestor is not beneath the island of Eno right now."
"Why…oh. Now I remember. All the kami, it is said, go to Izumo this month for their conference."
"Smart girl. Now you understand."
"But, then it is simple. You must fly me to Izumo, and I will speak to Susano-wo there instead."
Goranu again roared with laughter until I felt quite at a loss. "Now what is funny?"
"Hoo, hoo, hoo, think about it! All the Great Kami in one place! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!"
"You mean… oh, I see! If all the kami are there, then Lord Emma-O will be, too, and I won't need the help of your Esteemed Ancestor!"
Goranu nodded and pointed at me, his face red as bean paste from laughing.
"But still I must get to Izumo, somehow. So you must fly me there. Is it not right that I get there as soon as possible to plead my case?"
With deep gasps, Goranu labored to control his laughing. "Think of it. All the Great Kami. Izunami and Izunagi. Amaterasu herself. All there. And a little mortal girl. Comes
flying in. On the back of a tengu. And says, 'I would like to speak to Lord Emma-O, if you please.' " Laughter overtook him once more, and Goranu curled up on his side on the ground.
I watched him some moments, trying to fight back my anger. "This is just like the last time, isn't it? When I wanted to pound on the gates of Hiei-zan and demand that the warrior priests properly bury Yugiri. You showed me then that I would only be making a fool of myself and that I would fail."
Goranu sat up. "Ah. You are learning."
"But I still do not understand! You will not be harmed by flying into Izumo. If you, a prince of the tengu, introduced me to the kami, surely they would listen."
Goranu sighed and shook his head, resting his cheek in his hand. "It warms my heart that you think so highly of me. But again, you must reduce the scene to understand it. If you were to request audience with a high official at the Imperial Court in Heian Kyo, would you ride up to the gate on a large dog? You would be laughed away, would you not? For that is how the Great Kami view us lesser demons, as you view dogs or worse. No." Goranu stood and dusted himself off. "You are a Great Lady, and you ought to be received as such."
"I see. It is as the head nun, Tadashi, said at the temple. A lady is known by what she surrounds herself with."
"Surprising wisdom, for a nun."
"Stop that. Very well. I should travel to Izumo by something more… impressive. But a fine carriage would be too slow, even if I could get one. Could we do an illusion of an imperial ox-carriage?"
"Don't you think the Great Kami could see right through a tengu illusion?"
"Oh. Yes. I suppose they could."
"I would suggest something far more likely to gain their attention." Goranu turned his head and gazed toward the cloud-shrouded mountain that overlooked the village.
"You… you mean the dragon Kai-Lung? Do you think he would do that?"
"I don't know. You will have to ask him."
I fiddled with my sleeves anxiously. "Well, but he is angry at me. But, then, if you ask, surely he will listen to you-"
"Haven't you heard anything I've been saying?" Goranu shouted at me. "Awk! Sometimes I think I have taught you nothing!" Feathers began to sprout from his head and hands. "So. Very well. This shall be the test of whether you have mastered Tengu-Do. You alone must go up the mountain. And you will speak to Kai-Lung. And you will convince him to fly you to Izumo. If you return, having failed to do this, none of us will speak to you again, for you will be unworthy of the company of tengu. This is your task, Mitsuko-san. Go."
I stepped back, stunned. "Goranu?"
He turned his back to me. "Speak no more. Go!"
Astonished, angry, and hurt all at once, I lifted the hems of my kimonos and trudged toward the mountain path.
CONTACT
Lovely butterfly flits to and fro, but always just out of my reach.
I stomped up the mountainside, hardly able to see the path for the tears blurring my sight. Why was everyone being so unfair to me? First my father, demanding that I marry a child- prince. Then Lord Chomigoto. And now Goranu, whom I trusted more than anyone else in the world.
Perhaps, said a small voice inside me, Goranu has sent you to do this because he trusts that you will not fail. He has said he loves you, after all. Or perhaps, said a different voice within, he was so discouraged by my poor abilities in Tengu-Do, that he no longer cares, and if I fail to get Kai-Lung's help-or worse, I am killed by the dragon-Goranu will be rid of my troubling presence.
Alas, the thought that Goranu might no longer care was more painful than all the rest. Indeed, so sad was the thought that it stopped my tears. A change blew over me like an icy wind, and I felt myself become cold inside. My feet moved of themselves, and I put no thought to my steps, as if I were merely a rider inside my body. I took little notice of the mist closing in around me, or the wet grasses slapping at my ankles. I no longer cared what Kai-Lung might do to me.
Is this what it means
to have a warrior's heart
that cannot fear death?
But even numb as I was, there came a point when I could walk no further, and I sank down onto a low stone.
It was an extraordinary experience, to feel so empty of cares. There was freedom in it. The gray mist around me seemed friendly. I welcomed its dampness and chill.
I do not know how long I sat there, contemplating not- feeling, when I saw flickering orange lights within the mist, and the kirin emerged on the path in front of me.
"Oh!" it said in its piping voice. "It is you. Hello again."
I bowed where I sat. "Good day to you. I have returned to speak once more with Kai-Lung."
"Oh, dear, dear," said the kirin, dipping its horned head in a bow. "Forgive me, but I must tell you that is impossible. After the disturbance yesterday, Kai-Lung declared that he wished to see no more mortals for a very long time. I would advise you not to wait."
I stared at the kirin, surprised at the dismay-that-I-did-not- feel. A strange mood swept over me then, as if another spirit had suddenly lodged within me. I stepped forward and then flung myself to the ground in front of the kirin. "But that is the very reason I am here!" I wailed, nearly convincing myself of my despair. "I have come to offer apologies for my abominable behavior yesterday. I have not slept this past night, I was so filled with guilt and sorrow. You must let me abase myself to Kai-Lung. I will offer him anything; I will be his servant-offer my whole family as servants-to pay for the insult I have done him. If I cannot see him, I do not think I can live with my shame."
I sat up and took a twig from the ground. I held it against my neck as if it were a knife. "If I cannot see Kai-Lung, my only recourse will be to take my own life in dishonor."
"Oh, dear, dear, dear," muttered the kirin, dancing nervously on its little hooves. "P
lease do not do that, you mustn't. That would be a terrible thing. I am sure Kai-Lung will be reasonable and understanding when I tell him what you have come for. Please wait right here. Don't move. I will be right back. Oh, dear, dear, dear…" The kirin turned around and delicately trotted up the mountain into the mist.
When it had gone, I felt… giddy. I wanted to bubble into laughter, even though I felt no happiness inside. Is this part of tengu nature? I wondered. But I sat still and let no emotion show in case someone might be watching.
Presently, the kirin returned, nearly bouncing on its tiny hooves. "I bring good news! Kai-Lung has agreed to speak with you, seeing that it's only you and not your spiteful servant. Come along, then! Make haste! Who knows how long he will be in this forbearing mood? Come, come. Hurry along."
I followed the kirin up the hillside, stepping carefully over the stones-that-might-be-scales, until again I stood in the fog- shrouded clearing where I had spoken to Kai-Lung before. Again I waited, not caring how long I had to stand.
But soon the mighty head of the dragon emerged from the fog in front of me. "I am told," rumbled Kai-Lung, "that you have come to beg forgiveness of me."
"I have, Most Wise One," I said, bowing deeply. "What you told me yesterday is true. I have been a great fool."
Kai-Lung's eyes widened. "Well! You have had a change of heart indeed. Rare are the mortals who will admit to their failings so readily. I will give you the chance to make amends. What do you offer me in exchange for my forgiveness?"
I stared into the dragon's enormous golden eye, the pupil dark and deep as a well. I felt as though Kai-Lung could see into me perhaps as clearly. Lies or trickery in the tengu manner would be fruitless, or even dangerous, and, worst of all, insulting. This was a time when only the truth would do. "I wish to offer you, Great Kai-Lung, a story."
The dragon raised his head suddenly, but in surprise, not anger. "A story? That is unusual. Not gold or silk or lifetime service?"
"Gold and silk may be stolen from you, and the life of a mortal is short compared to yours. But a story can remain in your memory to give you pleasure forever, Great Kai-Lung."
"Assuming it is a good story," said the dragon. "Good stories are a treasure, indeed."
"I am pleased that you think so, for it is all I have to give. I will begin, if you will permit me."
There came a rumbling around me as if the whole mountain were shifting, changing position. Two enormous talons appeared beneath the dragon's head, and Kai-Lung crossed them, then laid his long chin down on them. He slowly blinked and sighed and said, "Begin."
And so I told him the same tale that I have written hereabout Lord Chomigoto and my promise to repair the shrine. Even about Goranu, for I felt it unwise to omit anything. Even about my being sent back to Kai-Lung to request a ride to Izumo. It had become late afternoon by the time I stopped speaking and bowed.
"Hmmm?" said Kai-Lung. "But this story has not ended!"
"No," I agreed, "it has not. And my further gift to you is that you may decide, Great Kai-Lung, how it ends."
"Mmmm. You are a clever girl. This is an irresistible gift, as you must surely know. Were you to disappear from my sight this moment, I would still be wondering how it would end, perhaps forever. Mmmm. In some sorts of stories, it might end with my killing or eating you."
"That is so," I agreed.
"But such stories stem from unkind humor and offer no wisdom or enlightenment. I will not choose such an end."
I confess, I did feel some relief when he said this.
"Then again," Kai-Lung went on, "in some stories, I would simply send you away, and you would have to wander back to Heian Kyo, perhaps to be kidnapped by brigands or disowned by an angry father. You might hide yourself away in some old, rotting house, as is so fashionable in the monogatari these days, until you faded away into some skeletal spirit to keep company with the mice and frighten those who happen upon you."
"I have seen such stories, too, Great One."
"Hm. Well, I don't like them. Too melancholy, too wallowing in sorrowful feelings. And again, there is no moral, no uplifting message. A useless sort of story. No, I will not choose that sort of end, either."
I was pleased to hear this, as well. "What sort of end would the Great Kai-Lung like to see?"
"There is only one direction the story may go that is right and proper. You have suffered injustice, therefore justice must be served. You must, indeed, speak to Lord Emma-O in Izumo. And since your tengu friend is being typically cowardly and selfish, you will have to get there some other way."
"Yes?"
"And since I, myself, dearly wish to know how this story will end-and the only way I can be sure to know that is if I witness it myself-then I am naturally the one to take you there."
"That does seem reasonable," I said, filling with hope.
"Then I have decided," said Kai-Lung. "I will take you to Izumo. But not as you are. You are a bedraggled, sorry, wretched sight, and I will not have such a creature on my back in front of all the Great Kami. Come into my cave, and we will see if we can make you more presentable."
Kai-Lung's head withdrew into the mist, and a light appeared in front of me. I followed the light, and it led me into a huge, open cavern. I gasped in astonishment, for the light revealed a cave filled with jewels, gold and silver, swords and lances and armor, embroidered kimonos, mirrors of bronze, treasures everywhere I looked.
"People keep giving me these things," grumbled Kai-Lung. "I do not know what they think I will do with them. I have no need for gold or weapons or clothing. I am glad you offered me an intangible-a story-as it won't add to the clutter. Just this morning, some monks left me some rice and pickled vegetables as an offering. As if that is what dragons eat! You can have it, if you like. It's over there by the jade mask."
"Thank you," I said, for I suddenly realized I was very hungry. I went to the mask the dragon indicated and found the covered bowl. The rice and pickles were still wholesome, so I sat down on a fine lacquered chest and ate a bit. It was very strange to be sitting amid wealth that surely equaled the Emperor's, and yet I was not impressed by it. Instead, it struck me as seeming rather silly, as if too much effort had been put into things that were unimportant. Of course, that is what they had been trying to teach me all along at Sukaku Temple.
After I had finished eating, Kai-Lung showed me where there were combs and mirrors and long golden hairpins so that I could make myself presentable. He even gave me fine kimonos of white silk and a grand outer kimono embroidered with gold and silver threads in a pattern of clouds and cranes.
"That is much better," said Kai-Lung when I had finished dressing. "You are no longer an embarrassment."
From what glimpses I could get of myself in the polished bronze mirror, I was quite amazed. No one outside of the Imperial Family would wear such finery as I had on. It was fortunate I was not going to Court, or there would be much wagging of tongues, I am sure.
"Darkness has fallen," said Kai-Lung. "Now is a good time to leave. If you are ready."
"I am ready," I said, although I was not sure if this was true. I walked out of the cave and peered around me. It was no longer quite so misty, but the dim twilight made it hard to see. I wondered just how I would get onto the dragon's back and how I would ride.
"Climb up those rocks over there," said Kai-Lung. "And then you will see my back ridge spines."
Very carefully, so as not to damage the gold-embroidered outer kimono I wore, I climbed the stones. At the top, I saw flat scales ahead of me and a row of tall, slanting poles which must have been the spines he mentioned. I walked awkwardly across his scales and sat myself between two of the spines-there was plenty of room-and held on to the one in front of me.
"Are you settled?" Kai-Lung's enormous head rose up some ways ahead of me and turned to look back at me.
"Yes, I am prepared!" I called back to him.
"Hang on, then."
It seemed the whole mountain began to move benea
th and around me. Wind blew at my face, and suddenly we were in the air. I looked down, hoping to see the tengu village, but there were only dim clouds below. I wished at least Goranu could see me. I wanted to shout down to him, "Look, Goranu! I have done it! Kai-Lung is flying me to Izumo. I was worthy of your teaching after all." But if he no longer cared, perhaps he was not even watching.
Once Kai-Lung was high off the mountain, it was almost as though we were not in motion at all. Had there not been cold air rushing against my face, I would have thought that the dim land below was scrolling by me and that I was sitting still. It was a quite different experience from when I flew on Goranu's back. Instead of warm, soft feathers, I sat on cold, hard scales. I felt much safer, but it was not nearly so exciting. Kai-Lung's body was so wide that I could not see much of the ground. The sky had gotten so dark that there was little to see-only a glow of purple in the sky behind the western mountains. The stars, however, were magnificent. I leaned back against the spine behind me and stared up at them for a long time.
I wonder if I can see the Lover's Bridge, I thought, and the two stars that are the separated lovers. How sad that, if the tale is true, they can only meet once a year. How fortunate, thought another part of me, that they can meet at all.
We flew west and a little north. I had heard that Izumo was far away to the west of Heian Kyo, so we must have been flying fast, but I could not tell. My hands and face felt quite cold, but I did not care.
At last, Kai-Lung called back, "We are there. Look down and see." He turned his body so that I sat at an angle, but I could see nothing but darkness below, and I said so.
"Ah. Of course. I forgot. One moment." Kai-Lung snapped his mighty tail far behind me, and thunder pealed across the sky. His body shuddered, and suddenly, below, I saw an enormous shrine with a high, steep roof and a tall torii gate. The shrine glowed with a golden light, as if built from the sun itself. "There it is," said Kai-Lung. "The meeting place of the Great Kami."