“Would you?” Yoori asked at once, challenging his spoken words. The cold wind blew through her as she shouted this.
As Yoori anticipated, Tae Hyun stilled at her question.
Yoori struggled to find her breath as she went on, her eyes never leaving Tae Hyun’s. “You are the epitome of everything I shouldn’t trust. You keep secrets from me, you never tell me how you feel, and you never show any type of weakness or vulnerability. You try to keep anything and everything from me.” She thought about the moments where he took care of her, the moments they shared when they were alone, and the moments they shared at the lake house— all the memories that were dearest to her heart.
“Yet, despite you not wanting to tell me anything, I see you for who you really are. I see you as Kwon Tae Hyun, the person you’ve been hiding under your façade as a gang leader. I told you that night, Tae Hyun, that there was more to you than what meets the eye and I don’t regret saying that. You’ve proven to me that I was right.”
She continued to speak, struggling to maintain eye contact with Tae Hyun. “I told you who I really am because I trust you…wholeheartedly. I trust that, even though you feel the need to follow your obligations as the King of Serpents, you’ll override that with your instincts of being Kwon Tae Hyun. I trust that you’ll take care of me – that you’ll always have my best interest at heart. I trust that you would never hurt me, let alone kill me. I trust you because you deserve that trust.”
As if the last sentence was too much for him to bear, Tae Hyun exhaled sharply. There were so many internal conflicts bubbling within him that it was taking a toll on him. He took a moment to close his eyes and lift his head toward the skies above. Tae Hyun allowed the streaming rain to wash over his face. It trickled like crystals along his jawline, flowed down the skin of his neck and filtered into the various contours of his body. When it appeared as if the cleansing helped him to gather his frantic thoughts, Tae Hyun lowered his chin and opened his eyes.
He breathed quietly, staring intently at Yoori, who was as rain-soaked as him. “Why are you no longer in denial?”
Yoori paused, thrown by his unexpected question. When she was about to answer him, he spoke for her.
“Things are coming back to you, aren’t they?” he asked carefully. “Your memories…your past. You’re beginning to remember everything…”
“I – I don’t want too,” Yoori struggled to reply. She didn’t want to remember anything. She wanted to go back as they were. She wanted to go back into her dream world.
He posed another question. “Have you told anyone else about this?”
Yoori shook her head, her body relieved that his tone had changed. “No, just you.”
Something in him, a guilt of sorts, was present when he heard her say this. Perhaps he felt that he shouldn’t have the honor of being the one person she trusted because he didn’t seem happy that she chose to tell him and only him.
The guilt embroidered on his face, Tae Hyun nodded before saying, “You can’t tell anyone else about this. We’ll keep playing off the fact that you resemble her and only resemble her. It'll be safer for you if we do this. You have to remember, you can’t tell anyone else. If anyone else in this world knows…”
He blinked, never finishing his sentence. It was too much for him. Too much for him to even think about.
The thunder roared louder as another fleeting moment of silence fell through them. For the first time since they’d met, Yoori had absolutely no idea what was going on in his mind.
As a violent gust of wind attacked them, Tae Hyun parted his lips and spoke again. His voice was low. It was mixed with the harshness of the wind, yet it thrashed against her all the same.
“I’m sorry for everything,” he said, staring at her with regret in his eyes.
Yoori’s own eyes blossomed at his unexpected apology. When she was ready to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, he continued to speak.
“If I had known you were An Soo Jin, I would’ve never pulled you into this world.” His voice agonized with remorse. It was one that pained Yoori to hear.
She immediately shook her head. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t even know her or what she looked like – ”
“You wouldn’t have to come this far, you wouldn’t have to be exposed to all of this,” he continued, the rain dripping off of him, “and you wouldn’t be hurting right now.” He paused, allowing the rain to continue to cloak them. And then, he painfully added, “And we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
At his own words, Tae Hyun blinked in dread. It was as if, for the very first time in his life, Tae Hyun couldn’t deny all of this anymore. With a light of epiphany that dawned in his eyes, Tae Hyun took one last look at Yoori before he took in a harsh breath.
“Tae – ” Before Yoori could even get a word in, Tae Hyun shook his head, his eyes set with resolution.
“I can’t be here anymore.”
The sliding door flew open, the ends of the side making a crashing sound as he flew into the living room.
“Tae Hyun!” Yoori shouted, nearly slipping over the river of rain on the balcony as she found herself running after him.
She ran into the bright lights of the living room. Her eyes immediately caught sight of Tae Hyun. He emerged from the bedroom. His wet clothes were off. He wore new jeans and was pulling a dry black shirt over himself. He headed for the door.
“Did she do something to you?” Yoori asked with urgency, her voice much smaller than she had ever heard it.
Questions poured into her mind.
Did Soo Jin do something to him? Why was he being like this?
She followed Tae Hyun like a desperate shadow as he walked past her and went for his shoes. He never answered her and he never looked at her.
“Are you that disgusted with her that you can’t even look at me?” she asked again, trailing after Tae Hyun. Residual rainwater dripped unto the carpet from her hair and clothes while she followed him.
He approached the closet and again, he never answered her or looked at her. He pulled the closet door open and reached in for his black raincoat.
Yoori’s mind swirled with agony. Why was he treating her like this?
She struggled to ask the right questions. “Are you thinking about what the Advisors warned you? That you couldn’t trust me and it would be the biggest mistake of your life if you did?”
“I trust you,” he answered at once, breaking his silence and locking his eyes with hers. There was desperation in his voice. It was the only thing he was sure of.
Yoori shook her head at Tae Hyun, her lips quivering uncontrollably. “Then why are you being like this?”
Apparently the question was too much for Tae Hyun to handle. He turned on his heels and headed for the kitchen counter where the key to his Mercedes sat. He walked past her, one arm running through the sleeve of his rain jacket.
“Stop ignoring me,” Yoori voiced, wishing terribly that she could use a stronger tone with him. “Don’t do this to me.”
He didn’t listen.
With his keys in his hand, and his other arm running through the other sleeve of his jacket, Tae Hyun was ready to leave. He sped to the door, turned the knob and pulled the door open. He was ready to step out when Yoori’s voice swam into his ears.
“I need you right now,” she whispered. She was cemented beside the kitchen counter, her vision blurred with tears that had been waiting to come out since she found out she was An Soo Jin.
One hand on the door, Tae Hyun stopped when he heard Yoori’s voice. Though he kept his back to her, Yoori knew by the stiffening of his stance that he knew she was crying.
Yoori hated herself…not for being An Soo Jin, but for being weak.
She hated herself for having the overwhelming urge to grab his hand so that he wouldn’t leave her. She hated that her voice broke at every syllable when she spoke to him. She hated herself for not being able to control her weakness and she hated herself more for needing Tae Hyun. She ha
ted herself for being weak…yet she couldn’t stop herself from saying the string of words she never thought she’d be pathetic enough to say to anyone. “Please…don’t leave me.”
Tae Hyun didn’t say anything nor did he turn around to face her. He just stood there.
It was only seconds, but it felt like an eternity for Yoori, who wanted him to turn around and talk to her again. When he finally made a move, Yoori was almost sure that he was going to turn around and come back to her.
Instead of facing her, all that Tae Hyun quietly said was, “I’m sorry.”
And without saying anything else, he was out the door, leaving an utterly distraught Yoori in his wake.
Disbelief rained over her as Yoori stared at the door in shock.
No…he didn't leave. He'll come back, she assured herself. He'll come back.
Slowly, very slowly, Yoori approached the closed door.
Her throat went dry and her vision grew blurrier with tears. Regardless of such maladies taking form in her body, Yoori continued to approach the door. When she was a half-foot away from it, she stood off to the side and waited beside it.
Though Tae Hyun had left, a big part of Yoori hoped that he’d come back to her.
Tae Hyun has to come back, Yoori reassured herself, her tears drying slightly from the small hope. He was her friend – her very best friend. He had always been there for her and he couldn’t leave her like that.
She was convinced he would come back – that was why she stood there for 18 minutes, her eyes never leaving the door.
Tae Hyun’s coming back, I just know he is....
18 minutes then became 23 minutes.
23 minutes became 29 minutes.
29 minutes then became 36 minutes and 50 seconds.
It was after 37 minutes that Yoori stopped counting.
It was after 37 minutes and 9 seconds that Yoori’s eyes became blurred beyond recognition with red-hot tears.
It was after 37 minutes and 20 seconds that Yoori leaned against the wall beside the door, covered her mouth with her hands, and slid down the wall in anguish.
It was after 37 minutes and 28 seconds that tear after tear escaped from her eyes as she sobbed quietly to herself.
It was after 37 minutes and 59 seconds, while she continued to sob alone, that Yoori finally admitted to herself that Tae Hyun wasn’t coming back.
He wasn’t coming back for her.
Whatever his reason for leaving, she wasn’t enough for him to come back.
Yoori’s heart ripped as the seconds flew by. She felt her heart, very slowly and painfully, rip itself apart as the cold wind from the balcony escaped from the sliding door they left open.
She was no longer dreaming.
She had finally woken up.
This was her reality.
She was really An Soo Jin…
And Tae Hyun left her because she was An Soo Jin.
Yoori shook her head at the ironic and pathetic state of her life.
One would think that after so many weeks of denial, it would hurt more for Yoori to find out that she was Soo Jin. Yoori didn’t blame anyone who might’ve thought that because that was what she thought too.
She could’ve never imagined anything else that could tear her apart—more so than when she found out that she was Soo Jin. Yoori could’ve never imagined she’d be sitting against the wall, crying like the girls she had pitied because a guy left her when she begged him not to. She could’ve never imagined that out of everyone, it would be Tae Hyun who left her.
Tae Hyun...the one she counted on the most…the one she trusted the most…the one who had always been there for her until now.
Biting her lips, Yoori shook her head and wiped the tears away from her eyes. She couldn’t be in this apartment. She couldn’t stand to be in this apartment anymore. Her mind suddenly set, Yoori used the back of the wall as her prop, threw herself to her feet, and took off like the wind.
That’s the thing about boomerangs…Yoori thought as she violently rubbed her tears away with the palms of her hands. She sped through the hall and burst into the bedroom.
It is guaranteed that it will make its way back to you…
Sniffling quietly, she threw her damp clothes on the floor and quickly re-dressed into dry clothes.
The only thing that isn’t guaranteed is that there isn’t an obstacle in its path to prevent it from returning to you.
Zipping up her raincoat, fresh tears began to dwell in Yoori’s eyes. She ran out of the bedroom and sped toward the door.
The only thing that isn’t guaranteed is that the cruelties of life won’t deter him from making his way back to you – from coming back to you.
It was then, at 10:47, as Yoori walked out of the door – completely absent of Tae Hyun’s presence, her heart never hurting more – that one thing made sense to her. The only thing she understood as the rain poured over her was that he left her.
He left her without ever turning back.
He left her when she needed him most.
He left her and he didn’t come back to her.
“For every empire. . .”
10: The Morning After
“Why are you up so early?” Chae Young asked the next morning, picking up the freshly brewed tea and pouring the liquid contents into a nearby cup. Once the tea filled to the rim, she placed the teapot down. “Go back to sleep. You got in late last night.”
Ever so carefully, Chae Young picked up the white teacup and began toward Yoori, who was finishing up with folding her beige comforter. Chae Young’s white puffer jacket rustled as her body stiffened to balance the tea.
“I’m not sleepy,” Yoori replied wearily. Her voice was completely hoarse.
She placed the folded comforter on the leather couch where she slept the night prior and threw her white pillow over it.
After leaving Tae Hyun’s apartment, Yoori, not wanting to be alone, found solace in being with her best friend. How appropriate was it that she found Chae Young on the same day she needed someone the most?
Chae Young returned from dinner to find Yoori sitting in the hall of her apartment. Yoori had her face buried within her knees and she was drenched from head to toe. To say that Yoori looked miserable was an understatement.
Shortly after an exchange of embraces, Chae Young ushered Yoori into the apartment. Her first priorities were to find Yoori some warm clothes, turn up the heat, and ask her what happened. Though Yoori had stopped crying, her swollen eyes were a telltale sign of a terrible night. She suspected that Chae Young could tell it dealt with Tae Hyun.
After changing into some of Chae Young’s warm clothes, Yoori sat down with Chae Young and talked about what happened – or tried her best to. In the interest of keeping the fact that she was An Soo Jin to herself (and to keep her trembling heart from struggling to breathe at the terrible reminder), Yoori was very vague when explaining to Chae Young what took place.
She essentially told Chae Young that they got into a huge fight and Tae Hyun left even when she asked him not to. Though Chae Young was confused due to the lack of details, she didn’t ask for details. She nodded at the vague information Yoori gave and more importantly, she was there for Yoori when she needed her, which was all Yoori wanted that night.
When they were done talking, Chae Young insisted that Yoori take the bed while she took the couch. However Yoori, feeling quite terrible for imposing on Chae Young, was stubborn and threw herself on the couch before Chae Young could even combat her resolution. Chae Young, being the good friend that she was to Yoori, threw herself on the nearby sofa and slept in the living room with Yoori. It wasn’t expected but it was much appreciated on Yoori’s part. Having Chae Young keep her company in the living room was exactly what she needed to get some much-needed rest. Granted she didn’t get much sleep because she spent the entire night thinking about Tae Hyun, it was still a better rest than she would’ve gotten if she returned to her apartment alone.
Using her fingers to tuck the l
oose bangs behind her ears, Yoori smiled appreciatively and grabbed the teacup Chae Young handed her.
“Thank you,” she said meekly, grateful that Chae Young took the time to take care of her before she went off to work at the diner.
A reminiscent thought overcame her when she thought about the diner. What Yoori wouldn’t give to go back to those carefree days where she was a clueless diner girl...
“You’re welcome,” Chae Young said sympathetically, noticing Yoori’s forlorn state.
The couch squeaked in response as Yoori’s black jeans and white top made contact with it. The radiant glow of the morning sun tickled her skin when she sat against the leather fabric. It was amazing how beautiful the morning was when just hours prior, there was a terrible storm that nearly drowned the city beneath it.
Allowing the aroma of the tea to fill her senses, Yoori brought the cup to her lips and took a couple of sips from it.
“Good?” asked Chae Young.
Yoori nodded, taking another sip before she placed it on a coaster on the coffee table. It was good but definitely nothing compared to the heavenly tea she had been introduced to.
“How are you doing right now?” Chae Young tentatively inquired, sitting down on the sofa. She pushed her unmade comforter to the side to make room for herself.
“Better,” Yoori said honestly. Her heart was numb and she felt somewhat dazed. All that took place felt like a surreal dream.
She was upset but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. That was the thing with waking up after a horrible night…you’re too exhausted to continue to be disappointed. If anything, it was the time to be bitter.
She grabbed an apple from one of the decorative bowls and bit out a big chunk of it. Her face was marked with resentment.
“That asshole,” she grumbled in between bites, feeling a bit of her spunky personality return. It was the first time since the event took place that she called Tae Hyun a bad name. Though her heart trembled at the reminder of him, she felt vaguely better that she was able to let off some steam. Disappointment aside, she was beyond pissed at the guy.
The Fall of Gods (A Welcome to the Underworld Novel, Book 2) Page 15