by Len Webster
He was La Vie En Rose before her.
A life of pink.
A life of beauty.
A life of wonder.
A life of her love for him.
He graced her in ways no one had before.
A knock was made against the door. “Josie …”
Max broke their kiss; his heavy breathing only made her want him to continue. She wanted more. She wanted to kiss him and have him believe her love was better than anything anyone else could give him.
He pressed his forehead to hers and gently used his thumb to swipe her bottom lip. Then his thumb rested on the corner of her mouth, and he pulled back to look at her.
Their kiss exposed the brittleness of their friendship.
They had found more.
“Can you and Max bring it inside?” Stella asked. “You have a perfectly good bed in your room. Also, can I have my cake?”
He let out a low laugh.
“Answer her,” Max urged.
Josie nodded and then swallowed hard. “Just a second.”
“Okay.” Stella sighed as her footsteps retreated further into the apartment.
Her heartbeat counted the silence between them.
Beat.
Beat.
Beat, beat, beat.
Beat.
Beat.
Beat, beat.
“Josephine …” His thumb now traced the line of her bottom lip. “I like you too much to let this just be it for us.”
Oh, poor foolish heart.
You had no chance with Maxwell Sheridan at all.
“I like you, too, Max,” she said with a smile on her lips.
“Then we’re on the same page?”
“What does your page say?”
He laughed and pressed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss. It was all her heart needed to affirm that Max was its weakness and strength.
When he pulled away, he answered, “Mine says I want to be with you and that I can’t spend another fifteen days without seeing that smile on your face in person. Or to hear your laugh or to kiss the purest lips I’ve ever had the pleasure of ever knowing.”
She inhaled sharply.
Stunned at how a kiss could end up with heartfelt confessions and truths.
“I like you, Josephine Faulkner, and I want to walk away right now so I can let you think of all the positives and negatives of there being more with us. I truly hope you see that this between us could be so right,” he said and then pulled away.
Just when she thought he’d leave, his hands settled on the side of her head, and he pulled her forehead to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to her skin, just like he had when she was sick over two weeks ago.
Her heart wanted him completely.
Wanted those three words out of her so he could hear them.
Josie peeked up at him through her lashes.
“You’re right for me in ways I can’t even comprehend. I hope I’m right for you the way I strongly believe you’re right for me.” Max took a step back. “That case I’ve been working on goes to court on Monday. I’ll be helping my dad prepare for it all weekend. I hope that’s enough time.”
She bit her lip and nodded, not trusting the words.
Max, with all his courage and strong posture, couldn’t hide the fear that consumed his eyes.
Josie had the words to rid him of it.
But for selfish reasons, and to protect her own heart, she kept them and watched him walk away. When Max entered the elevator and spun around, he waved goodbye, and the elevator doors ensured that her love stayed a secret.
Just for now.
Ally: Hey, Josie! Rob and I are having an engagement party in like a month. I have an invite for you. I know you’ve cut back on some shifts, so can I drop by soon to give it to you?
Josie stared at the message her boss and friend, Ally Moors, had sent. For over two weeks, she hadn’t been able to properly hang out with her and Stevie. She felt guilty, but with Josie and Stevie at university and Ally running one business and learning another, their schedules never seemed to align.
Josie: I’m so glad you and Rob are finally having an engagement party. I have a shift tomorrow. Stop by before I close?
Ally: I know, right? My father has really added pressure for us to set things right. Eloping really hurt his feelings, but it was the best decision for us. I will definitely see you tomorrow!
“Oh, is that Max messaging you?” Stella teased from across where Josie sat.
“Who is Max?” her mother asked.
Josie shot Stella an “I’m going to kill you!” glare as she set her phone on the table. “No one, Mamma.”
Stella let out an unbelievable laugh. “No one? Em, your daughter, yes, Josie, got kissed by a very attractive man the other night.”
Her mother almost jumped out of her hospital bed and winced from her fast movements. “What?”
“Stella,” Josie scolded.
“You have a man in your life?” her mother inquired.
Josie sighed and slumped in the chair she sat on. “I don’t have a man in my life.”
Stella settled her hand on Emily’s shoulder. “In the world of Gilmore, he’s a Luke.”
Her mother’s eyes glazed over. “You found love?”
“Mamma,” Josie said, hoping the stern tone she used downplayed the subject of love.
Yes, she was in love with Max.
But she had no idea what to do or how to be in love with him.
He gave her time to think, and his lack of communication proved he was sticking to his word. After he had kissed her and told her how right she was for him, Josie entered her apartment to find Stella waiting desperately for more information. Josie had said nothing as she handed her roommate the cake and walked into her bedroom. That night she had laid in bed and pressed her fingertips to her mouth, remembering the feel of his lips on hers and the way his kiss changed the rhythm of her heart’s beats.
Her heart used to sing his name.
Now her heart pleaded for his name to leave her lips and sear the surface of her heart.
“Are we forgetting that even though we love Luke for Lorelai, he wasn’t right for her for a little while?” Josie reminded.
Stella groaned. “That’s because the writers wanted to delay the inevitable. I know we never got to see it, but Luke was right for Lorelai. Just like Max is right for you.”
“I didn’t say he wasn’t.”
“You didn’t say he was at all,” Stella countered.
“I want to meet him,” her mother announced.
Josie leapt out of the chair. “What?”
“Stella, what does Max do for a living?” her mother asked, completely ignoring Josie as she shook her head.
Her traitorous best friend grinned. “He’s a lawyer.”
Her mother’s mouth dropped. “A lawyer?”
“Yep! And get this, a complete gentleman. Nothing like the previous callers Josie had at her disposal.” Stella stuck her tongue out at Josie. “And he’s a great guy. You’ll love him, Em.”
“I will?”
Stella nodded. “You will. Especially when he all but declared his love for your daughter after he kissed her like he would lose her.”
Her mother reached out and took hold of Josie’s hand. “Is that true, Josephine?”
Her shoulders fell. “He just said he thought I was right for him.”
“I’d like to meet the man who makes my daughter’s eyes hold that loving gleam,” her mother urged.
Josie sighed. Whatever her mother wanted, she’d give her. The only problem was that she hadn’t told Max that her mother was battling cancer. Besides Stella and West, no one knew. And she wanted to keep it that way.
“He doesn’t know, Mamma.”
“I’ll be out of hospital soon. You don’t have to tell him. We can meet for lunch,” her mother said with a lot of hope and determination in her voice.
“All right,” Josie said, giving in to her mother. She knew that a
goal of meeting Max would push her mother to fight harder against her cancer. It was a good thing. A blessing nonetheless. “I’ll ask him.”
“After you tell him you love him,” Stella added.
Josie glanced over at her eyebrow-raising best friend. “Love him, Stella?”
“You can deny it all you like, Josie. He’s right for you. And you have to tell him. Not to put him out of his misery, but to let you feel what it’s really like to have someone think of you as their world. Someone to honestly and truly look at you as if you’re the only star worth staring at,” her best friend said.
“That’s very poetic of you, Stella.”
Her best friend shrugged. “I got it off a cereal box.”
“Really?”
Her best friend and mother laughed.
“Nah. It’s how I feel about West, so … don’t make fun of it.”
Josie smiled. “I won’t.”
It had been almost three days since Max kissed her and left her to think about her feelings, the kiss, and what it would do to their friendship.
Friendship.
That was what was at stake. A beautiful friendship she was terrified to be without. With Max, she could be herself. With Max, she felt comfortable and free. He understood her in ways no one else could. If their feelings were only temporary, it would destroy her.
Her love was so sure.
But she had no idea how sure he was of her.
Being right for someone didn’t mean love.
Being right for someone didn’t mean a future.
Her being right for him could be a fleeting affair.
The risk seemed to outweigh the gain.
But that was just it.
The gain was Max.
And realising it could be his heart she got the chance to love, she would obliterate any risks and doubt.
Risk everything for him.
Risk her entire heart for him.
Josie glanced down at the mixing bowl to see the chunks of banana she had just added to the mixture. This one batch would decide. It sounded childish, but she needed to decide. Max had given her tomorrow. She wasn’t sure when, but she knew he would expect an answer.
The continuation of their friendship or the exploration of something new.
Something more.
Max wanted more.
With her.
To be with her.
He missed her.
Cared for her.
Liked her, even.
Josie used the wooden spoon to move around some of the banana pieces as she closed her eyes and replayed the way he had kissed her.
Touched her.
Whispered her name.
The way he took away her heart’s ability to want anyone else.
He had put himself out there to women who had abused and neglected his affections. But this time, he had chosen Josie.
Opening her eyes, she smiled at the almost ready batch of cupcakes. The thought of him caused her chest to feel lighter. The thought of him caused her stomach to fill with butterflies. The thought of them caused a pang of rightness to erupt in her chest and spread blissful warmth throughout her.
As she reached for the walnuts, she realised that a choice was on the brink of being made.
“Maybe it’s time someone risked everything for him,” she said to herself as she tipped the small glass bowl of walnuts and watched them fall into the batter.
But the risk for love worked both ways.
She needed to know he would risk everything for her, too.
Josie knew that was a while away from knowing, but she knew what her feelings were, and they were strong. Mixing the nuts into the cupcake mixture, she told herself to let herself experience this.
She had shut herself off for so long that she was struggling to allow herself to trust that Max wouldn’t disappoint her. But he wasn’t her father. In fact, Max was the only man who had ever gone out of his way for her.
Nobody claimed her in a kiss as he did.
Nobody touched her with such devotion and gentleness.
Nobody looked at her with that soft gaze like him.
Nobody but Max.
And nobody made her love with a sense of fear and freedom like he did.
And that had Josie setting the spoon down to rest on the inside of the mixing bowl. She reached over and picked up one of her bakery business cards she had brought into the kitchen with her.
Though the cupcakes hadn’t made it into the trays, she knew her answer.
She’d just have to wait until tomorrow.
Normally, Max would relax on Sunday nights. Either settled on his couch watching whatever Sunday night flick was on or reading whatever book he had picked up from the top 100 picks from the Dymocks bookstore close to his office. There wasn’t a real system to what he read. Every year, he had the store employee save him a copy of the list, and he’d pick randomly which book to read. His target was to read at least one book a month. But this year, he had only read four. The books he had chosen were good, but they didn’t challenge or provoke him the way he wished. Max knew that next year he’d forgo the top list and try to read every book nominated for the Man Booker Prize Award instead.
But this particular Sunday was different.
He hadn’t worked on a Sunday night since his first year of placement at his father’s firm. Even then, it wasn’t hard, pressurising work. Max’s father’s case would go to court tomorrow morning, and Max was working through the night to make sure the prosecution couldn’t object to their key argument. That the defendant’s wife was not dead but in hiding after falsifying her death and framing her husband. Max was sure that the contract imbedded in the countless emails was the key evidence the defence needed to ensure their client was found not guilty. His father had even hired a leading expert in code as their key witness.
Max’s job was to make sure none of the evidence was circumstantial and could be dismissed by the judge. Max never intended on doing that task, considering he never wanted anything to do with criminal cases. But his father needed his help, and Max had recently learnt to appreciate the man he was. Gordon Sheridan was the best lawyer in the state for a reason. Though he could scare any veteran in the business, he worked hard to get the right outcome.
And for the very first time, Gordon had come to Max for help.
Max couldn’t let him down.
A ping from his MacBook had him glancing up from the printed emails he had in his hands. Max noticed the red balloon on his mail app and twisted in his seat to reach for his laptop to bring it closer. He wasn’t expecting any emails at this time of the night.
“Except …” he said as his heart filled with joy.
Josephine.
She was the only person who would email him on a Sunday night. He knew she had her contracts tutorials and lectures on Monday, and he presumed she needed his help with this week’s current readings. He didn’t mind that he hadn’t heard from her since their kiss outside her apartment.
The very kiss that changed everything.
His heart.
His wants and needs.
His idea of a future.
They all included Josephine Faulkner.
He had wanted it even before she had pulled his lips to hers and coerced every fibre in him to only ever want her.
Max had walked away that night to give them both time to think. And as the hours turned into days, it only had him desperately longing for her in ways he hadn’t before.
No woman made him feel this way.
No woman made him miss her smile the way Josie did.
No woman made him miss her heart.
No woman made him love the way Josie could.
No one but Josie.
Excitement bled through him as he pressed on his emails and opened them, ready to answer every question she sent his way.
But the moment he saw the unread email, his heart stopped.
The euphoria of his new love for Josie came to a halt as he saw Andrea’s email w
aiting for him.
Max’s breathing heaved as he noticed it was an email from her personal account and not her work address.
A cold sweat blanketed him as he hovered the cursor over her name.
His head told him to delete it.
To forget her completely.
But a small piece of his heart wanted closure.
Max wasn’t sure if he should trust that small piece; the piece he hadn’t let Josephine touch for fear she’d make it hers.
Swallowing the large lump in his throat, he decided that in order to be fair and love Josephine honestly as he declared, he had to let Andrea go. He had to have closure. Those remaining feelings would have to dissipate into the void of all the other disappointments he had faced in his life.
So he clicked on the email and read the first words she had sent to him in months.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: All the things I should have said.
Max,
I’m sorry this email took a long time to get to you. I’ll be the first to admit I handled everything completely wrong.
I let my pride overshadow my feelings for you.
I couldn’t get myself to reply. I’m so sorry, Max. I read your emails, and they hurt me. You poured your heart out to me, and I exited your emails and disregarded your feelings.
My boss told me that you’d be working in the law department in Boston and I’ll be one of your supervisors when I return from Florida.
You’re probably wondering why I moved to Florida. Well, I just couldn’t see him happy. I had hoped that when Noel went after her, she married her fiancé. I hoped that when he returned from Hong Kong for the expansion that he’d realize he really did love me more than he loved her.
But I didn’t think he could break my heart more than when I found out he married her. I wanted to be happy for them. I really did, Max.
I loved Noel.
I thought he was it.
I thought I would marry him.
New York changed everything.
I kissed you.
I cheated on him even when I didn’t have his whole heart.
I felt sick after it happened because I felt more with you than I did with him.
Because I knew that kiss was true, and the kisses and touches he gave me were desperate attempts to forget her.