by Alison Mello
I smile staring in the mirror, slipping on the lab coat I wear to work. Remy thinks I like to mooch off my parents, but in reality, I can’t wait to get out of here and get a place of my own. I’ve been saving as much as I possibly can. My goal is to move by the end of the summer or early fall. It depends on how quickly I find a house for rent. I’ve seen a few around town, but I’m not ready just yet. I shake off my thoughts, running downstairs to grab some breakfast before I have to leave for work. “Good morning, Dad.” I find my father sitting at the kitchen table.
“Morning, sweetie.” He sips his coffee.
“Are you going into work today?” I place an English muffin in the toaster and then go about making my lunch.
“Yeah, your brother is already there, but since my first appointment isn’t until ten, there was no rush for me to go in.”
“Good, that means I can have breakfast with you. Did you eat?”
He shows me his gentle smile. “I did, sweetie, but thank you.” I shrug and finish making my lunch. As soon as I hear the toaster pop, I gather my coffee, English muffin, and apple, and then take a seat at the table with my dad. We’re both silent and while I eat. He reads his paper, but I can see him glancing over the top of it periodically. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”
I shrug. “I kind of have a lot on my mind. I graduate in a few months, and I want to start looking for a house. Especially since I know I have a job as soon as I get my diploma.” I pause for a moment. “It’s bittersweet, ya know?”
“I do. You’re our baby, and you’re about to move out of our home, but you’re an adult now, and we have to let you go and hope we taught you well. That said I also don’t want you to rush into buying a house.”
I smile at my father. “First, you did, Dad, and don’t you worry. I’ll always be your little girl. Second, I actually want to rent. I want to have a yard to enjoy and maybe even get a dog.”
He gives me a proud smile back. “Damn right you’ll always be my little girl.” He lifts his paper and begins to read again, but mumbles, “God help your boyfriend.”
I giggle and finish my breakfast. My father and brothers have always been very protective of me, but I haven’t had a really serious relationship in a long time. I dated a guy for a while when I was studying my undergraduate program, but I broke it off with him because he was too much of a distraction. He didn’t understand that I had days I had to focus on my course work and couldn’t drop everything to go out dancing. I tried to study around date nights and such, but it was hard. There are times when things pop up or you’ve studied, but don’t quite feel ready for that big exam. I would want to study a bit harder and he would get pissed. He was the first guy I had ever slept with. We had great chemistry, it was just too bad he couldn’t be more supportive of my career. I loved him, but I loved my desire to become a veterinarian more. I’ve dated a few guys since then, but nothing serious. It never made it past the second or third date. We either didn’t have the chemistry or it just didn’t seem to work out. Now, Vaughn and I have chemistry. I can feel it already. He hugged me and my body lit up, it was like bolts of lightning had struck me, sending shock waves through me. My stomach did flips as we danced.
I bite my lip. I’ve contemplated asking Remy how he would feel about me dating him, but I figure I should finish my degree first. The question is, can I wait that long? It’s been so long since someone other than my vibrator has touched me. “Are you okay, sweetie?” Holy shit, I’m thinking about vibrators with my father sitting across from me.
“I’m fine, Dad.”
“You’re all flushed.” His face shows concern.
“Sorry, I was thinking about an embarrassing mistake I made yesterday. I tripped over a cat carrier, causing the cage to open and the cat escaped. He ran all over the back room. We had the hardest time catching him.”
He laughs at my story. Thank god he buys it. I’m not usually clumsy, but I think that makes it all the funnier. “You need to be careful.”
“I know. It was really embarrassing. I’m thankful the owner wasn’t there to witness it. I finally grabbed some treats and got her to come to me that way.”
He shakes his head, folding the paper up and setting it to the side. “I have to go to work. I’ll see you for dinner tonight.”
I nod. “Yes, you will.” He kisses me on the top of the head and walks out of the room.
I let go of the breath I’d been holding. I’m not big on lying, but there was no way I could tell my father what I was really thinking. I’m very lucky in that my parents give me total privacy.
I pull up to the clinic, and of course the lot is empty except for staff. We don’t open for another fifteen minutes, but I want to get inside and see what our day looks like. It isn’t a huge clinic, but we’re big enough to handle all of the local animals and we have a great reputation. We have two small rooms where we can treat the animals in private and one open room with a table in the middle of the room for everyday exams, and a wall full of crates for pets that need to spend the night. Dr. Kramer is already here. Courtney pulls in behind me. We both climb out of our cars and exchange good mornings. “I hope you’re ready. We have a busy day today.”
“We do?” I question using my key to open the door. Dr. Kramer always keeps the doors locked right up until it’s time to open. He likes to work in the back, and some mornings he’s here really early.
Courtney nods. “Yup, and you know we’ll end up with emergencies as well.” I shut the door, locking it behind us. We find Dr. Kramer at the front desk.
“Good morning, ladies.” He greets us with a smile. He’s about my father’s age, but he looks older. He has a full head of completely white hair. He keeps it cut neatly and always has it styled. He’s a pretty fit man. He works out regularly to keep up with the animals. They can be tough. I feel for him though, he has no real family left. His wife and son died in a hit and run car crash years ago, and he’s made this clinic his life ever since. My parents have invited him for holidays, but he always refuses, only making appearances at the annual block party and occasionally at the Fourth of July cookouts.
“Good morning,” we both return.
“Brooke, I need you to prepare room one. Mrs. Thompson is coming in with Bruno today.” His voice is sad. Bruno a beautiful chocolate lab and is very ill. Mrs. Thompson has been bringing him to Dr. Kramer since he was a puppy. The tone of his voice and the look on his face tells me the time has come. We’re putting Bruno down today. This is the part of my job I do not like. It’s sad not only for the pet owner, but all of us here at the clinic as well. We love these animals as if they were our own…we definitely feel the loss. Some of them we’ve been treating for years, they’re like our friends. Their faces light up with excitement when they see us for a checkup, and we can see the sadness in their eyes when they are not well. Courtney was right—today is going to be a tough day. I let out a deep breath, trying to maintain my composure as I walk off to do as Dr. Kramer asked.
***
Vaughn
“SSG Anderson, front and center!” I hear my commander’s voice from across the room.
“Yes, sir.” I run over to approach my commander, standing at attention.
“Get you and your men squared away. We have two vehicles that need recovery from the same area. You’ll have all the info you need in the next twenty minutes.”
“Yes, sir.” He nods and walks out of the room.
I turn to my men. “You heard the man, gear up.” The men all jump up and rush around grabbing the gear they need, along with their rifles. We don’t go anywhere without a rifle. I begin making a mental list. I need to sign out vehicles, to collect the two Humvees and get them back. I grab my helmet and my rifle and head out to the motor-pool.
“Hey, Sarge. I need to sign out some vehicles.”
“I heard. I have a HET-Heavy Equipment Transport, a HEMTT -Heavy Expanded Mobility Transport Truck, and three gun trucks all fueled up and ready to go.” He gives me a clipboard and has
me sign on the appropriate lines for each of the vehicles.
“Thanks, man.” I start to walk away. I need to meet with my men quickly before we take off.
“Hey,” the sergeant calls out. I turn back around. “Be careful out there. I hear shit’s brutal.”
I nod and keep walking. Damn fucking straight it is, and it’s my job to not only recover these vehicles, but get my men back here safe. When I get back to our makeshift office, my boy, Lieutenant James, is there gathering the guys. “You got my vehicles, Sarge?”
“Yes, sir. All signed for and ready to go.”
“Good. Let’s get our team together and get this shit done.” He nods to me.
“Listen up, guys! We want to get this mission done quickly and safely. We roll out in a few minutes. Here is your assignment. Freight, you’re driving my HET. Lieu, are you good being his A driver?”
“You got it.”
I nod. “Bull, you’re driving my HEMTT and I’ll be riding with you as your A driver. Jones, you’re the third in my vehicle, and Porter, you’re riding in the HET.” I look around to see them nodding. “Burke, Falcon, and Callen. You’ll each jump into one of the gunner trucks. Truck one will be the lead, driven by Eagle Eye, truck two will be driven by Hawk, and truck three will be driven by Liam. My gunners—you know who you are and who your drivers are. Any questions?” Complete silence spreads throughout the room.” Let’s do this shit.” The room erupts into one big HOOAH.
As soon as everyone settles into their vehicles, we do a quick radio check, and then take off with Eagle Eye leading the convoy. The HET is next, followed by Hawk. Bull is next, and we end the convoy with Mercy protecting our asses. It’s a bit of a drive with the speed limits we must abide by while in a convoy. Eagle Eye is always our lead, because he spots fucking everything, dude’s amazing. We finally approach our vehicles, and an eerie feeling comes over me. They’re in the middle of fucking nowhere. One of them is practically blown to shit, and god knows what’s wrong with the other one. The gunners take their positions around us to cover our asses while the maintenance team gets busy. “Hey, Vibe. How’s that gut of yours?” the LT asks when he jumps out of his truck.
“Not good, sir. Let’s get this done and get the fuck out of here.” He started calling me Vibe because I have this gut instinct that tells me when shit ain’t good, and I can tell you right now my gut is fucking flipping the hell out. He shakes his head and we get to work, while the others are keeping an eye out.
It takes us a little bit, but I manage to get the dead truck up on the HET. The LT works with the other guys to get the other one hooked up to the HEMTT. One is like a flatbed truck, and the other is like a tow truck. We’re sweating our asses off in this fucking heat, but after a short time, we’ve managed to get the trucks loaded. The LT comes over to me and says, “We’re good, are you?”
“Yeah, we did it. Let’s get out of here.” I wipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my sleeve.
“Hey, Vibe. I guess you’re off today. You feeling all right?” He nudges me with his elbow.
“I have no problem being wrong once in a while, sir.” I chuckle.
We’re about to mount up when we find out I wasn’t off at all. No sooner did he finish his last word, than one single shot rings out from on top the hill, hitting Burke, who was standing right on the side of me. Fucker dropped. I grab him, pulling him behind the truck for protection.
Eagle Eye has already set himself up in a safe position, and is hooking up his scope. “Where are you, motherfucker?” He pants as he scans the area. “One guy on the hill. I only see one,” he screams to me. The LT is calling in for a med flight for Burke. Everyone is quiet except for Eagle Eye, who’s mumbling something as he squeezes the trigger, taking out the motherfucker who shot our guy. “Got you, you fucking bastard.”
“Hey Sarge,” Burke grabs onto my shirt panting in pain. “Give this to my wife. Tell her it never left my pocket.” He slips the other hand into his pocket, pulling out a picture of him and his family…his two little girls in pretty pink dresses, his wife wearing a formal black dress, and him in his dress uniform.
I shove his hand back. “Fuck you, give it to her yourself. You’re not going to die.” His eyes start to roll. “Fuck, hold on, man. You got this.” I press my hand over the huge hole in his body, trying to stop the bleeding, but it’s everywhere.
LT comes over with a medical bag. “They’ll be here any minute. You hold on, kid.” He presses a bandage to his stomach.
I’m holding him on my lap, rocking him, while we wait for the flight. “Come on, man, hold on.” He chokes, a streak of blood runs from the corner of his mouth and he goes limp. Suddenly there’s more gunfire from the hill. My guys take position, lighting that shit up. There are bullets flying, but I can’t manage to let go of my guy to do a fucking thing about it. “What the fuck? They told us this hill was clear.” LT is pissed.
“I know, LT.” A tear runs down my face as I look at Burke’s dead body. I don’t fucking lose men. My men are always my top priority. Suddenly we hear the chopper overhead, lighting up the hill with my guys, and the gunfire stops. It lands, we load Burke up, and we all stand watching them take off with him.
My guys are all looking as devastated as I am, and I can’t blame them. We lost a good guy today.
I shoot up straight in bed, drenched in sweat. “Fuck.” I pant. It’s been six months since I’ve been home, and I still can’t rid myself of these damn nightmares. I trudge to the shower to wash it away, and as soon as I’m done, I text Callen. It’s four a.m. and I need to run this off.
Vaughn: Going for my run now.
I put on shorts, deodorant, and a t-shirt. By the time I’m done, I get a text back.
Callen: Another nightmare?
Vaughn: You could say that.
Callen was there with me that dreaded day. He understands how I feel, and has tried to help me move past it, but it’s a struggle. He didn’t have the responsibilities that I had. Liam was there as well, but the remainder of my current crew came in after, and some have moved on. I walk out my door and Callen is already there, ready for our run. We take off, quiet at first, and then he finally speaks. “Want to talk about it?”
“Nah, you were there. It’s the same thing it always is. If it’s not a repeat of that day, it’s roadside bombs going off. What’s there to talk about? I need to figure out how to get that shit out of my head.” My voice full of frustration. He nods his understanding and we continue our run in silence. He too suffered from nightmares, but he seems to have his under control. I guess that’s why we make a great team, we understand each other. We have a routine. We run, shower, go for breakfast, and then go to work. I’m told routine is supposed to help. I’ve also done some research and discovered having a companion such as a dog can help.
Chapter 3
Vaughn
I need to get my ass in gear. Grabbing my keys from the table by the door, I run out to get a start on the day. I’m tired as fuck from my lack of sleep, and the less sleep I get, the more the nightmares affect me. I don’t like taking my sleeping pills, but tonight it’s going to be a must or I’m going to lose my mind. I pull up to the pump at the little convenience store we call the shoppette to fill up my car. I climb out to pump my gas and a yawn escapes me. Damn, I’m fucking tired. I need to get this shit under control. The last thing I need is for me or one of my guys to get hurt because I can’t focus. Another yawn escapes me as the pump stops. I return the nozzle and replace my gas cap before moving my car to a parking spot. We all take turns picking up coffee during the week, and today it’s my turn. Pulling the door open, I nearly walk into a female soldier. “Excuse me.” I hold the door allowing her to step through.
“No worries, Sergeant.” I nod and head straight to the coffee station. I know exactly how to make everyone’s coffee just the way they like it. As soon as I’m done, I grab a sandwich from the deli fridge for my lunch, along with a diet soda and a bag of chips. I turn to carry
it all to the counter, but I bump into my boy, Remy. “Let me help you with that.” The Major smiles at me.
“Hey, sir. How’s it going?” Remy and I shake hands. I try hard to slip my mask into place but I fear I’m too late.
“It’s going well. How about you?” He looks me up and down.
“I’m doing okay, sir.” I give him a tight smile. I can tell from the look in his eyes he’s not buying it.
“Are you sure? You’re looking a bit tired.” He narrows his eyes at me.
“Ah, you know how it is, sir. Overworked and underpaid. How’s Kenzie?” I try changing the subject, but again it doesn’t work.
“She’s great, actually.” He takes the sandwich, chips, and soda from my hands and walks them back to their appropriate spots.
“What are you doing, sir?” My one eyebrow raised in confusion.
“Buying you lunch.” He narrows his eyes again. “I need to get going, but I have a feeling we need to talk. I’ll meet you at the commissary food court for lunch at noon sharp. Don’t be late.” He says nothing else and gives me no chance to argue, he turns and walks out the door.
“Fuck,” I whisper to myself. I have to figure out how to get around this. I know Remy has some demons of his own, and he’s worked to fight through it, but I’m not sure I want to talk about it anymore than I have. I’ve tried talking to Callen about it and it hasn’t done shit for me.
“Next,” the guy at the counter yells, pulling me from my thoughts.
Shaking it off, I step up to the counter. “My bad.” I put the coffees down on the counter and pull out my wallet to pay the man. “Thanks.” I nod at the guy after paying him. I grab the coffees and put them on the front passenger’s seat. What am I going to do? Remy already sees through me, there’s no way I’m going to be able to convince him I’m fine. That the nightmares haunting my nights are not really there. This is why I keep to myself. I start the car and slam it into drive before pulling out of the parking lot. The guys are going to be waiting. It’s already zero eight-thirty, and we’re usually there by zero eight hundred hours. I’m tired, slow, and bumping into the Major didn’t help.