by Belle Aurora
Happy nodded. “Okay. Well, I just came to let you know your games are up.” Before he left, he looked me dead in the eye, and muttered, “Stay away from him, Twitch. For now, just—” He breathed out a drained sigh. “—stay away.”
When he left and I was alone with my thoughts, I wondered just how much I would risk to see my son.
The answer soon became clear.
I’d risk it all.
***
Lexi
It had been a soundless day in our household, which was a rarity in itself.
I didn’t know why, but A.J. was mad at me. Or at least I thought he was, until I saw the bright red Zinnia on my nightstand. With a sad smile, I picked it up and put it to my lips, pressing a light kiss to its soft petals before walking over to my A.J.’s room and hovering in the doorway.
I know he heard me approach, but he didn’t look at me; he just continued to stare out the window through the burglar bars that had been installed that day.
My heart ached to see him like this.
What was happening to my happy little boy?
With every passing day, my son grew more and more agitated, and not being able to pinpoint the cause was making me miserable.
“Thank you for the flower.”
He didn’t even spare me a glance. “I didn’t give you a flower.”
My brow knitted as I gently twirled the Zinnia between my fingers. “Then where did it come from, baby?”
He hesitated.
The worry in me increased tenfold. “Baby?”
He was reluctant, but he spoke, and when he did, he spoke whisper quiet. “Daddy left it for you.”
Okay, you know what?
I was a patient woman, but enough was enough.
My heart’s tempo increased. I dropped the flower, walked into his room, and knelt in front of him. “A.J., Daddy is gone.”
My son looked tired. “No, he isn’t.”
The air thickened around me, making it hard to breathe.
“Yes, he is, baby.” I took his face in my hands and spoke firmly. “He is gone, and he isn’t coming back. He can’t.”
And A.J. smiled so serenely that the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. “Daddy’s not gone, Mummy. You’ll see.”
It was too much. My breathing turned heavy, I gripped his little arms tightly, and raised my voice. “That is enough! I’ve had it with this stuff. I know you’re sad, but—”
A.J. looked confused. “I’m not sad.”
“—this is getting to be too much. Enough. No more talk about Daddy.” My voice quivered. “He’s gone, honey.”
But he simply smiled and shook his head.
My entire body felt as though it was on fire. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see through the stinging blur at my eyes.
My heart was breaking.
That was when I dealt the final blow. Trembling, I lightly shook my son, blinked back tears, and yelled, “Daddy is dead, A.J.! He is dead, and he is never coming back!” My voice croaked. ”Not ever!”
To see my son look at me the way he did was horrifying, and the moment I released him, his lips began to tremble. His eyes filled with tears, and when his face crumbled, I wanted to die a slow, painful death because it was what I deserved. Dipping his chin, his shoulders shook, and I listened to his barely audible cries.
I was a monster. A terrible person. And at that moment, I felt lower than scum.
Crying silently, I reached down and picked up my son, clutching him to me like the lifeline he was. His arms went around my neck and my entire body shook with the weight of my tears. I walked him to my room and laid him down on the bed, sliding in beside him.
I don’t know how long we lay there. It felt like an eternity.
He blinked at me through wet lashes and said, “Don’t cry, Mummy.” His little lips quivered, as he choked out, “I’m sorry.” He put a small hand to my cheek, wiping away the wetness there, and as he did, he whispered, “I won’t talk about Daddy anymore.”
Yes. I was indeed a monster.
It took me a moment, but I uttered quietly, “I’m sorry I yelled.” When he turned over and shuffled back into me, I hugged him tightly, pressing soft kisses to the back of his head. “You can talk about Daddy.” I was glad he wasn’t facing me; that way he couldn’t see the despair written all over my face. “You talk about him as much as you like, baby.” More kisses to his sweet apple-scented head, and then I closed my eyes, and I whispered softly, “I’m so sorry I yelled.”
He was gutting me, but if that was what A.J. needed right now, I would hand him the knife.
Chapter Seven
Ling
“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were encroaching on my turf.” When I looked up from my desk and saw the beautiful Turk standing there, I smirked, and his eyes returned that smile. “Lucky I know better, yeah?” he prompted.
“Aslan the Turk.” I leant back in my desk chair, allowing my eyes to roam him freely.
Fuck me. I didn’t like Aslan, but he was gorgeous.
Dressed in his pristine black tailored suit, white shirt, and silken black tie, he leant against the doorway, watching me closely. The man in his early forties wore his dark hair cut short in a crew cut. He had a high fade, and his neatly trimmed beard took me back to memories of feeling its harsh scraping along my inner thighs. High cheekbones, strong jaw, fuller lips than should’ve been allowed on a man. Heavy silver rings lined his knuckles, and with a sudden intake of breath, I so badly wanted to feel the cool metal against my pussy. Those dark eyes of his were lined with thick black lashes that made him look much more innocent than he was, and something in me liked that I knew the real side of him, the dirty, raw, violent side of him that nobody else saw.
It was a privilege. I loved that side of Aslan Sadik.
I would say I missed him, but that would be a goddamn lie. The last time we fucked, he punched me so hard he almost left me with a broken jaw. Lucky for him, I was into that. I came more times than I should have.
No, I didn’t miss Aslan. I missed sex with Aslan.
My nipples beaded as I let out a soundless sigh. “What are you doing here, Sadik?”
I could still feel his teeth on me, biting me like the rabid dog he was.
His eyes never left mine as he slowly walked into my office. “I missed you.” He grinned, and we both knew that was a fucking lie, so... yeah, try again. When my eyes narrowed on him, he put his hands on the back of the guest chair and leant in on it. “I hear you’re having problems with your boys.”
My hackles rose.
It was days like this that I just wanted to relinquish the power I’d stupidly taken to become an untouchable and go back to being a ho without a care in the world.
I blinked at him as my cherry-red lips stretched widely with a smile. “Don’t tell me you came here to offer your advice, Aslan.” My face hardened. “Save your breath.” I looked back to my computer screen. “Or I’ll make sure you don’t get a chance to breathe again.”
The thought of killing Aslan made my core clench. I was already wet.
Aslan’s eyes darkened a shade. “Talk to me like that again. Disrespect me. I fucking dare you.” He moved close looking down at my lips before licking his own. “I honestly don’t give a fuck if you’ve got issues with your boys, but I am here to tell you if you’re stupid enough to trespass on my territory—”
“You’ll kill me?” I stared at him.
At that, he took in a deep breath, moved around the desk, and knelt down, right in front of me, getting in my face. His voice was deceptively calm, but those pretty eyes held an intensity I didn’t like. “I won’t kill you, Ling. That would be too easy.” His hand came up to grasp my chin, and he gripped it tight enough to bruise. He brought his face to mine, and the closer he got, I started to feel somewhat like a dog being backed into a corner. When his lips were a hair’s breadth away, he spoke softly. “I’ll start by killing your men. All of them. Your brothers included. No one
you love will be safe.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, and when I tried to pull away, his eyes flashed. Digging his fingers into my cheeks, he gritted his teeth and hissed. “I will fuck with you so hard you won’t be able to stand without seeming bowlegged, my little viper.” His face contorted, and he pressed a painful, bruising kiss to my lips. “I’ll play mind games with you every day of your miserable life. You’ll never know when I’m coming, but I will come. I’ll be in the shadows, for always, until the day arrives when—” He smiled, and his entire face transformed with it, no longer vicious, but once again beautiful. “—I will watch you take a gun to your head, pull the trigger, and splatter your brain across the fucking walls.” He sighed happily. “And what a beautiful sight it will be.”
Still gripping my cheeks forcefully, he held my eyes as he slowly reached between my legs and pushed my panties aside. When he felt the wetness there, his eyes fluttered, and Aslan lost some of his steam. “You crazy bitch.” He slid a finger inside me, and my entire body caved immediately, submitting to him. As my eyes rolled back and my lips parted, Aslan bit his lip, and then whispered, “I want to fuck you so hard.”
My voice was hard. “You almost killed me last time.”
His eyes flashed dangerously, and then he grinned and muttered, “I want to do it again.”
The lone digit inside me started to make a “come here” motion, and I bit the inside of my cheek. Jesus Christ, it felt so fucking good. But I needed to be strong. “Things are different now. We can’t.”
If my men found out I was fucking the king of The Lost Boys, I would lose all respect, and to be honest, it wasn’t something I could risk. I was doing a fucking good job of losing their respect on my own. I didn’t need the help.
“I know we shouldn’t, but—” Aslan grinned into my mouth. “—you think you could stop me, bitch?”
My core clenched at the thought of him taking me roughly, brutally, and he felt it. I know this because he chuckled into my cheek.
I’d never given a single fuck about what people thought about me. I’d done bad things unapologetically my entire life. I did what I did, when I wanted to, because that was how Ling Nguyen rolled. And, at that moment, I hated myself for being the way I was.
Because I couldn’t say no.
My breath hitched. “Fuck me.”
I should’ve known what was coming.
Aslan smirked, pulled his finger out of my pussy, and stood. “I’m surprised at you, Ling. I thought it would be harder than that. Everyone talks about The Dragon Queen like she’s some fucking goddess, and look at you now.” He put his finger under his nose and closed his eyes, breathing my scent deep into his lungs. He sucked that finger into his mouth, licking it clean, and then smirked cruelly. “How does it feel, falling from the top, you weak-ass bitch?”
Well, shit. I ran my cold fingers over my now aching cheeks. It didn’t feel great, that was for sure.
Without a word, I reached under my desk and pulled out my gun, pointing it at him. When Aslan’s face blackened, I returned it with a grin. I did this because we both knew I had a lust for blood and would have no problem shooting him right where he stood. After all, he was in my house, and the disrespect he had shown was colossal.
I lowered my pistol and looked at him closely. “God, you’re beautiful.” When his face softened marginally, I went on. “But you’re right, of course. Thank you for the reminder.” My lips parted at the sight of him and I made a show of looking him up and down. “Sure, I’d like that cock in my mouth,” I admitted, my voice turning breathy, “choking me as you thrust balls-deep.” I shook my head slowly and sighed, watching his sudden regret. I leered inwardly. “I’ve always liked you, Aslan, and I’ll miss fucking you. Or, should I say—” I smiled cruelly. “—I’ll miss you fucking me.”
Aslan glared at me. “I know what you’re doing. It’s not working.”
“Is that why your dick’s harder than a minister’s prick at Sunday school?” I smirked when he reached down to adjust himself brazenly. I lifted my pen to my lips. “No one would need to know,” I told him, gazing down at the outline of his hard cock. “It would be our little secret.” My face became void of expression. “By the way, how’s your wife?”
I guess I had a death wish. That was the only explanation I had for asking about her—his Turkish princess. And when he lunged for me, I wasn’t prepared. Or maybe I was and I just didn’t care. I don’t know.
It was an issue lately, my lack of care.
The first blow was hard enough to have my face snapping to the side, and as I tumbled to the floor, I felt his strong body straddle me. My heart raced from the sheer exhilaration of being hurt. My temple throbbed and I loved it. I felt it all over, the pain, and I savored it like a lover. The second blow hit me as hard as the first, and when I managed to focus, Aslan was over me, his lip curled, his eyes darker than I’d ever seen them.
He lifted a fist to deliver another blow, and that was when I smiled a bloody smile. “Now who’s weak?” When he realized I got him as badly as he got me, I laughed openly, spitefully.
Game. Set. Match.
Yeah, bitch. You wanna play?
I won this round.
Aslan didn’t understand that when I played, I only competed because I intended to win. At any cost.
It took a moment, but the now panting Turk sat back on his heels, and I was surprised when he muttered a weary-sounding, “Touché.”
Reaching into his breast pocket, he pulled out a clean, white handkerchief and handed it to me. Leaning up on my elbows, I took it and pressed it to my fat lip. It was bleeding. I knew this because the familiar metallic taste coated my tongue, and at that moment, I wanted nothing more than for Aslan to flip me over, pull down my panties, and fuck my ass as roughly as my body would allow.
Maybe even as roughly as it wouldn’t.
“Stop it,” he said, sitting back, leaning against my desk, and shaking his head at my open desire. “I’m not going to fuck you, Ling.” His brows narrowed. “You’re so messed up, baby.”
Tell me something I don’t know.
Removing the cloth from my face, I smiled through my split lip. “That’s why you love me.”
I was joking, of course. What he said next, I didn’t see coming.
Aslan watched me a long while before he cupped my cheek gently, and murmured, “That’s why I love you.”
My heart stuttered.
I didn’t like what his declaration made me feel. So I changed the direction of this meeting.
My small hand came to his on my cheek and I pressed my lips to the tip of his thumb, gently kissing it before pulling it into my mouth, sucking. Aslan’s lids shuttered and I sucked it deep. His lips parted and he let out a heavy breath.
Yeah. This was more my speed.
Pronouncements of love were wasted on me.
I didn’t do love. Not anymore. Love hurt too much, I’d learned, and the type of pain it caused was not my kink. Not even close.
Which was why I released his thumb with a pop and licked my lips before resting my hard gaze on him. “Get out of here, Turk.”
He stared at me a moment, unblinking, before he stood and tugged at the bottom of his jacket, straightening himself. When he held out a hand to me, I slapped it away, standing on my own and smoothing down the front of my dress.
Aslan stepped forward, closer than I would have liked him, and he searched my battered face. “I didn’t mean for this meeting to go in the direction it did.”
My chest ached.
I couldn’t deal with the affection that lined his voice. I didn’t want it. He needed to go.
Looking back over my shoulder, I shrugged it off. “Don’t worry about it.” Then I threw him my smiling eyes. “I just have that affect on people.”
Just leave.
He looked disappointed in himself. “You’re infuriating.” He spoke low, to himself. “Why the fuck do I want you so badly?”
With a light sigh, I sat back in my
desk chair. “The same reason every other man I’ve screwed wants me, Sadik. I let you be who you want to be, who you really are. I bring forth your demons, and I fuck them too, because it makes me happy to see men lose control of themselves. Because it makes me hot to watch a good man be bad, and it’s so easy to do. Because I like to be taken rather then wooed. Pain makes me wet, and I know that’s screwed up.” I blew out a long breath and smiled warmly at him. “But that’s who I am. I couldn’t change, even if I wanted to.” My smile waned. “Believe me. I’ve tried.”
Didn’t he see what I really was? A cancer on this world, plaguing every man I met.
I was a sexually transmitted disease, and Aslan was just one of a long list of those infected.
The sad fact was men liked their girls insane. I was proof of that.
When he came to me, taking my face in his hands and looking deeply into me, my chest tightened at the concern in his eyes. He brought his full lips to mine, kissing me gently, and I let him, because I was a sadist.
My heart clenched painfully at what he said next.
“I know what your father did to you,” he spoke against my lips before pulling back. “Knowing what I know now, I’d have slaughtered him.” He held my face fast and looked down at me almost desperately. “I’d have killed him. Tortured him. Taken him apart, piece by piece, fed him to the dogs.” He was crazy. Why did I like that so much? “I’d have done it for you.”
A solid warmth spread through me. I should not have been feeling what I was feeling.
“I don’t need a man to protect me, Turk,” I told him, stepping back and watching his hands fall. Men had let me down my entire life, and I would never put myself in the position to have that happen again. “I save myself. Always have, always will.”
Aslan sighed, but he did it with smiling eyes. “I know.” When he turned to leave, he paused at my door. “See you later?”
Jesus, he was annoying.
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t know how to take a hint, do you?”
He blew me a kiss, grinning hard, and then I was alone.
It was an odd feeling, really. For the first time since Twitch died... I didn’t want to be alone anymore.