by Belle Aurora
I know what he meant. “Yeah. I get that.”
At my bleak response, Dave focused on me. “How are you?”
“I’m doing as well as I can under the circumstances.” I threw him a wide-eyed look. “I don’t think I meet the height requirement for this emotional rollercoaster.”
“Well, all I can say is I hope you’ve learned something from all this, because—”
The front door opened and Molly walked in, followed by A.J.
Twitch trailed close behind.
The second Dave saw Twitch, he stood, wearing an expression of pure disbelief. “Are you serious, Lex?” He sputtered, “For fuck’s sake, you cannot be serious right now.” His hands shook. “Have you learnt nothing? Don’t you see what he’s doing?” My neck began to flush, and I was glad that Molly was smart enough to have read the signs and took A.J. into his room while Dave vented. “It’s bad enough he’s across the street.” His face was strained. “I’m shocked at you. I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to let him in your house!”
I saw the exact moment Twitch went from mildly agitated to purely enraged. He took a menacing step forward. “The fuck you just say?” Then another. “I know you did not just call my woman stupid, Dave.”
But Dave was feeling brave. “Your woman.” He laughed humorlessly then looked to me. “His woman? That was quick, Lex. Nice.”
Oh, no. My plans were going down the drain fast. Someone was going to get hurt if I didn’t do something.
“You piece of shit,” Twitch said, speaking softly, never raising his voice. “You’re gonna leave and you’re gonna do it now.” His eyes darkened. “Before I fucking make you.”
“Stop it.” My voice shook.
Dave scoffed. “You’re going to make me?” After a moment’s silence, he thundered, “Who the fuck are you to come into this house and make threats? You hurt Lexi. You hurt her beyond repair. Unlike you, I love this woman. See, Twitch, that’s what you do when you love someone. You tell them things they don’t want to hear because it’s the right thing to do. You treat them like they deserve to be treated. You stick around.”
My heart began to race. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife.
At Twitch’s murderous expression, my entire body stilled. “You think I didn’t wanna be here, with my girl, with my fucking son?” Twitch spoke low. “You think I wanted to spend the last five years sleeping under bridges, in train stations, without a fucking cent to my name, because I couldn’t claim that name anymore?” He took another step and my gut sank at his words. “What? You think I’ve been out there hustlin’, fucking around, vacationing in Ibiza? Let me tell you something, my man. Chicks don’t dig homeless guys.” His lips thinned. “Oh, yeah. The glamorous life. You got my number, Dave.”
My heart ached. Oh, how it ached.
Hearing all of that did something to me, to my soul. A small fragment of my broken heart began to repair itself.
My heart threw me an earnest look.
I told you he wouldn’t have done what he did without a reason.
My brain rolled its eyes.
If you believe him, you’re a freaking moron. Don’t let the same snake bite you twice.
At war with myself, a decision was made. There was no avoiding it. It was high time Twitch and I talked.
Dave lost some of his steam, but his jaw was tight when he uttered, “You owe us an explanation. Where have you been?”
At that, Twitch lost his cool. His eyes flashed. “I don’t owe you shit, motherfucker.” Then his brows lowered. “The only person I need to be talking to about this is the angel standing right there.” He jerked his chin toward me. “And she ain’t ready for that, so I’m doing something I rarely do.” He glanced at me meaningfully. “I’m waiting.”
Twitch was not a patient man. He was compulsive and had control issues. The fact that he was showing restraint... it was monumental.
Who was this man, and what had he done with the rash, selfish, and careless one I knew way back when?
Twitch spouted the words as if this was his home and he had the right to. “You got two choices, Dave. You can leave with your tail between your legs and my foot up your ass,” he offered. “Or you can shut the fuck up, apologize, and eat the meal your girl’s making.” He looked Dave up and down, measuring him. “If I were you, I’d choose option two. It’s been a long time, and I’m spoilin’ for a fight.”
Without waiting for a response, Twitch went down the hall, looking for his son.
A long while passed before Dave spoke again, and before he did, he cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean what I said.” A slight pause. “You’re not stupid, Lex.”
Wasn’t I though?
My son had called me stupid. My friends were now calling me stupid. It was a common theme of late, and if one was being called out repeatedly, chances were that person was the thing they were labeled.
I was suddenly overwhelmed and my throat thickened with emotion. I spoke quietly, blinking away tears. “Don’t worry about it. It’s been a little crazy around here.”
“Yeah.” Dave’s low tone matched mine. “I can see that. The last thing you need is for your friends to start turning on you.” He put a hand to my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
Abruptly depressed, I felt the need to explain myself and my actions. “It’s just that A.J.’s been miserable without him, and the more I keep him from his father, the more he lashes out.”
“Oh, sweetie.”
My heart thumped. “I didn’t know what to do, and even though it’s been hard on me, I thought if I just let him see Twitch, he’d be happier.”
“Of course.”
It was difficult to breathe around the strain in the air. “You can’t possibly understand the situation I’m in. I’m screwed if I do, screwed if I don’t. I’m trying to be smart about this, Dave. Just trying to take the road with the least amount of mines buried in it.”
He looked absolutely dejected. “I know.”
“And Twitch has been surprisingly good in this time,” I revealed grudgingly. “It’s like... I don’t know. He’s changed, Dave. I don’t know where he was or what he was doing, but the time away has done something to him.” My eyes imploring, I uttered, “This man is going to be around. I’d like it if we all got along. If you can’t do it for me, please, do it for A.J., because he loves his dad.”
“And what about you, Lex?” He held my eyes. “Do you love him?”
Until the day I die. “I don’t even know him anymore.”
Dave seemed moderately appeased by my response because he left it at that. He also joined us for dinner, and when people started to arrive, their concern about Twitch being present was worn so clearly on their faces they didn’t have to say a word about it.
Thankfully, nobody said a thing about it, and honestly, I wouldn’t have either, given the daring glares Twitch handed out. It felt awkward for a while, but when Ana began to talk to Twitch, the table came alive with conversation. Sure, Twitch wasn’t terribly involved, but he stayed, and Julius remained civil, watching his old friend, his brother, with a light in his eyes I couldn’t exactly read.
What was it? Wistfulness? Anger? Sadness? I couldn’t put my finger on it. Perhaps a bit of all three.
When Happy stepped through the door with Nikki, I found it hard to look at him, and when he approached me carefully, as one would a spooked deer, I looked up at my friend and watched him crumble. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He peered over at a watchful Twitch before his lips thinned and his eyes closed, as he muttered, “Lex, I... I’m so sorry.”
When I took the three steps over and wrapped my arms around his middle, he held me so tightly I choked up. I felt his apology, felt his sorrow at disappointing me, felt his regret in that tight embrace. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. I simply reached up and took his face in my hands, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.
It wasn’t forgiveness, not exactly. It was a small mercy I bestowed on him, bec
ause I loved him, my dear friend.
Soon after eating dessert, everyone was making a move to leave, and Twitch was in the middle of saying goodnight to A.J. I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but when I approached, my son’s question held me captive.
“Uncle Dave said you hurt Mummy.” He paused a moment. “Is that why she’s mad at you?”
“Yeah, bud,” was all Twitch said.
“Did you say sorry?”
“No, I didn’t.” He hesitated. “I can’t say sorry for what I did.”
“Sometimes when I make Mummy upset, she needs a hug.” My heart jolted. “Maybe you should hug her.”
Twitch snuffled out a light laugh. “I might try that. Thanks for the advice.”
A.J. sounded pleased with himself. “You’re welcome.”
I couldn’t help but smile as I walked back into the kitchen.
Truth was, after the month I’d had, I could’ve used a hug.
Chapter Seventeen
Lexi
Twitch spent the afternoon with A.J. after picking him up from school, and when I came home from work with a headache and in a foul mood, he cornered me in the hall as I was coming out of my room.
His watchful gaze roamed my face. “You okay?”
What do you care?
Ugh. Knee-jerk reaction. I really needed to stop with that.
I winced, then looked up at him through squinted eyes, speaking quietly. “Yeah. Just need some pain pills and I’ll be good.”
When he marched into the kitchen and opened the cabinets, it took me a moment, but I followed him, and when he filled a glass with water and approached holding the pills in one hand, the glass of water in the other, I stood there, lips puckered in thought. “What are you doing?”
He frowned down at the pills, then looked back up at me without speaking.
I hesitated.
Twitch sighed, taking the glass and resting it on the edge of the kitchen table; the pills followed. He took a long, hard look at me before he uttered, “Stubborn-ass woman,” then left the room to sit with A.J. on the sofa, watching The Lego Movie.
I wasn’t used to this, to Twitch being an active participant in my life. Even when we dated, we had an odd relationship. It was give and take.
I gave while Twitch took, sometimes more than I had to give.
So sue me for being hesitant. I wasn’t used to being looked after by a man who once told me he’d break me.
Sighing lightly, I took the pills with a big gulp of water, then walked into the family room and looked to Molly. “I need a few minutes for these pills to work.”
She nodded. “No problem. I’ll take care of dinner.”
I threw her a look of pure gratitude. “You’re wonderful.” When my eyes settled on the two entangled bodies on the sofa, my heart melted. Twitch lay on his back, his arms twisted up and behind his head, causing his biceps to bulge in a way that was almost sinful. The little boy draped across his legs with sock-covered feet hugged his dad with both arms, as if he were scared he’d be taken from him, and my melting heart ached painfully. When A.J. reached into Twitch’s hoodie pocket and retrieved a couple of chocolate rainbow-colored buttons, throwing them into his mouth, memories of a time long past came flooding back.
Those sweet brown eyes focused on me. “Are you okay, Mummy?”
I smiled at my son. “Fine, honey. Thank you for asking.” I chanced a sneaky look at Twitch that turned out not to be so sneaky because said man was staring right at me, a familiar heat in his gaze.
My last thought before I went back to my room was bleak.
If you hurt him, I will kill you myself.
And if it came to it, I was sure I would.
“Hey, mama bear.”
I stretched under the covers and blinked through the drowsiness. The long shadow lying beside me spoke again. “Your cub’s askin’ for you.”
Confused and blinking through my slumber, I asked a rough, “What time is it?”
“Seven thirty.”
My eyes snapped open. “What?” I sat up in bed and the covers fell to my waist. I stretched languidly, and spoke through a yawn, “Why didn’t anyone wake me?”
Twitch elevated himself, resting his head on his upturned hand. “Because I told everyone to shut the fuck up and let you sleep.”
I let out a long breath. “You didn’t need to do that.”
“I know I didn’t, but I did.” His eyes rested on my collar, drifting downward. “You need to look after yourself, baby.” I suddenly realized I was wearing a tiny tank top without a bra, and when I tried to discreetly cover my chest, his lips lifted at the corners. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.” As he stood, he said, “Only a matter of time before I see it all again.”
A shocked laugh left me. “You’re so full of shit.”
“I’m not.” He sounded slightly insulted.
“Oh, but you are,” I insisted then released an offhand smirk. He didn’t need to know I was burning up at the thought of being with him again. “What makes you think I still want you, Twitch?”
He leaned into me then and I pulled back at the intimacy in that small move. And when he spoke, the words hit me with the force of a thousand orgasms. “Because I’m your motherfucking king, and you are my beautiful queen. So be good, bow down to me—” His voice lowered a notch. “—and let me love you.” He slid off the covers, leaving me feeling bereft and alone. He straightened, and the air of cockiness about him increased a whole level. He slowly moved toward the door. “Come say goodnight to our son so I can bring you back to bed and show you how much I missed you.”
The air burned in my lungs. “You’re fucking crazy.”
He grinned then. “Guilty, baby.”
If chaos and fury were ever joined, Twitch would be the child born of the coupling. And what a crazy, beautiful hurricane he was.
My resolve was wavering at an alarming pace. I couldn’t deny I wanted him. The question was, was I senseless enough to let him back in?
Later that night, it took some convincing, but Twitch finally left, and as he did, he shook his head and sighed. It was after eleven when I got up to get a glass of water, and when I put the glass to my lips, my heart stuttered at the shadow sitting on the back porch.
My brows narrowed, as I muttered under my breath, “What the hell is he doing?”
Why is he hiding out there?
As quickly as the thought came, I recognized the error in my assumption.
He wasn’t hiding at all. He was waiting on me to find him.
Taking my glass of water, I unlocked the sliding door, stepping outside. Without a word, I came to sit on the top step, wrapping my kimono around my legs as I did. Twitch sat on the bottom step, and when he put something to his lips and a soft orange glow shone bright in the darkness, I glowered in the dark. “Are you serious?”
He took in a deep inhale of the joint, and when he blew it out, he said, “It’s for my glaucoma.”
My brows arched, and as he took another hit, I leaned forward and softened my tone. “You have glaucoma?”
He choked on his laugh, smoke billowing out of his mouth with every cough, and mortification turned me hot.
Oh my God. I was an idiot.
Twitch’s rough laughter went on and on, and the longer it went, a smile formed on my lips, and soon after, I was chuckling at my own stupidity. “Oh, shut up. I’m tired.”
As his laughter subsided, he muttered, “Fuck, I missed you.”
“You didn’t have to miss me.” I couldn’t help myself. I was hurting. “You could’ve just stayed.”
“You think if that was an option, I wouldn’t have been here?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
When I gazed over at him, he caught my eye a moment, before he uttered roughly, “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
The intensity of his gaze pierced me. “Like you hate me.”
Didn’t I?
Why didn’t I?
&nbs
p; I lowered my hurt stare and sighed. It was time. “Let’s talk.”
Twitch took another hit of the joint before offering it to me. I hesitated, and he uttered, “It helps me sleep.”
I shook my head, but I wanted it so badly, somehow needing it to cope with the conversation ahead. I balled my hands into fists and refused politely. “I don’t do that anymore.” Memories of Twitch putting his lips to mine and lightly blowing the pungent smoke into my mouth as I inhaled the mix of drugs and the man himself had me heady.
My chest ached with the need to relive that. But I stood firm, denying that need.
“Why did you do it?” I spoke into the silent night.
He didn’t speak for a long while, and I wondered if he actually would. But then he started, and although it may not have been the explanation I wanted, it was an explanation nonetheless. “I never planned on things going the way they did. Never planned on wanting you the way I do, needing you the way I do. And once you were a drug coursing through my veins, I knew I’d do anything for you. Even disappear, if that’s what it took.”
My silence was an invitation to keep going, and he did. “I made some poor decisions in my time as king. Made enemies and didn’t care because I never planned to live past forty.” He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “But that changed, and I knew if I claimed you openly, I’d be putting a target on your head.” He looked at me. “I need you to know I never intended to die on you, but when you sprung it on me that you were pregnant and that asshole shot me, it was an opportunity I couldn’t waste.”
I was so confused. “I don’t understand. What opportunity?”
“Spent a lot of time looking for people, clearing my streets of threats.” He shot me a look. “Purging the badness and getting myself to a position where coming back would mean nothing touched my boy.”
Oh my God. That sounded like he was telling me that he’d spent the last five years tracking people down and... murdering them. “Why are you telling me this?”
“You and I are now an open book.” His eyes held me firmly. “I hope you can handle that, baby, because some of the shit I’m going to tell you is fucked, even for me.”