Raw- Rebirth

by Belle Aurora

  At that, he put his hands to my shoulders, squeezing. He closed his eyes a second before he looked into my eyes, his eyes wide. “Are you—” I felt his hands shake against my skin. “Are you asking me to leave?”

  Oh.

  I frowned to myself.

  I could see how he thought that.

  “No,” I spoke softly. “No.” I reached up and took his hands in mine, and when I looked him deep in the eye and uttered, “I’m giving you an out,” his entire body went lax and he started to breathe again.

  But I didn’t expect the reaction I got.

  I expected understanding. I expected his appreciation. I did not expect raw fury.

  He spoke through gritted teeth, pulling away from me, and I felt the loss on a personal level. “If you want in, be in. All in. But I’m sick of this shit, no bullshit.” Those soft brown eyes were suddenly hard. “I know you want me as much as I want you, so why the fuck aren’t you with me?” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. “You’re my fucking religion, Lexi.” When his eyes snapped open, they pled with me, but his voice was uncharacteristically quiet. “Let me worship you.”

  I didn’t understand it, but his anger seemed to feed mine. “You’ll have to excuse me for having doubts.” My hard gaze held his. “Especially when it comes to my son.”

  “Our son,” he fumed, before he readjusted his tone. “He’s our son, Lex. We both had a part in making him. He’s ours.”

  I immediately regretted what I said. “But only one of us stuck around.”

  He stood and paced, and my chest ached. This was not what I had planned. I wanted a quiet conversation; I wanted simple answers, and what I got was a bubbling argument that only seemed to grow.

  “So, what?” Tony uttered. “You want me out?” I never said that, but I was too stunned to speak. He obviously took this as a yes, because his next words were a pistol and they were aimed at me. “Listen to me, Alexa. A.J. could love us both.” He paused in his steps to lay his dark stare on me. “Or he can hate you. You decide.”

  Bang.

  My voice shook at the understanding of what he just said. “You asshole.”

  And that was the moment he realized he’d fucked up. He put a hand to his hip and another to his forehead, lightly knocking his knuckles into his temple. He spoke through gritted teeth, his eyes shut tightly. “That didn’t come out right.”

  “I think you need to leave.”

  “I didn’t mean that.” He sighed.

  My tone was whisper-soft. “You need to leave.”

  “No.” He shook his head, trying to reason with me. “I’m staying right here. Ling’s fucking crazy. You think she wouldn’t think twice about coming here, hurting you?”

  I was way past giving a solid fuck. “What do you care?”

  When he lunged at me with his hulking body, it was so sudden a move I didn’t have time to react. He caught both my wrists in his hands, almost bruising, and he shook me, snarling, “Don’t you fucking get it? I would lay down my life for you.” When my wide eyes met his, he looked down at his hands and dropped my wrists, stepping back and looking away. “In fact,” he panted lightly, lost in his own head, “I already did.”

  I rubbed at my wrists, not because it hurt, but because his rough touch burned me in a way I hadn’t felt for years.

  And in true Twitch style, he walked down the hall, opened the front door, and stepped out, disappearing on me.

  The moment he was gone, I missed him.

  When I woke in the morning, feeling irritated beyond belief, I stepped out of my bedroom in my barely there nightie and was shot directly in the feels.

  Son of a bitch.

  I stilled midstep and watched the artfully decorated grown man lay on the floor with his shirt off as his son pressed colored markers to his skin, using him as his own personal coloring book.

  The little monster looked up at me, smiling. “Hi, Mummy.” He gestured to his prone dad. “Look.”

  I was looking.

  He was beautiful.

  And when he peered up at me, my throat closed over. Even more so when he uttered a cautious, “Mornin’, Mommy.”

  Ugh. My heart. Not fair.

  I cleared my throat. “You taking him to school this morning?”

  “Of course,” he said, watching my face in a way that spoke volumes.

  He was contemplating how much damage he’d done the night before.

  I nodded, avoiding his watchful stare. “Okay. I’m going for a run.”

  By the time I got out of the shower, they were gone, and when I stepped into my bedroom, my eye caught the blur of red on the nightstand.

  I went over to it, picking up the bright red zinnia and twirling it between my fingers before pressing it to my lips. The petals were cool against my skin.

  Why I felt like crying then, who knew?

  Shaking the sadness I felt off, I stretched for a while before dressing and making it out to my car. I unlocked the door then sighed, noticing I’d forgotten my drink bottle. I stepped out of the running car and ran back into the house for a split second, rushing back to the car in record time, slipping my belt on, and started to reverse.

  Feeling the jam on the radio, I sang along. Loudly.

  “You don’t even lock it?”

  Hitting the brakes, my body jolted, and in my panic, I beeped the horn a second before taking in a deep breath and shrieking to the high heavens.

  “Still can’t sing for shit, baby.”

  As I continued to shriek, I heard his low, rough chuckle, and my shriek heightened in pitch as I reached behind my seat, blindly swatting at the infuriating man.

  When his laughter increased and I ran out of breath, I twisted in my seat and looked back at him, wide-eyed and panting. The moment I saw him lying on the back seat, reclining with an arm behind his head, looking comfortable as ever as he grinned at me, I turned around, tipped my head back, and shrieked again, only this time yelling out, “Jerk!”

  My heart beating out of my chest, I ran out of breath a second time, and with flushed cheeks, my body shook in silent laughter. Dropping my forehead to the steering wheel, the horn sounded again and my laughter increased. I spoke through my breathlessness, “You scared the shit out of me.”

  I felt him climb over the center console and into the passenger seat, waiting for me to get my shit together, and when I finally did, I peeked up at him through narrowed eyes, and that beautifully crooked smile hit me like a punch to the face. He leaned in. “Miss me?”

  I shook my head, my throat thickening drastically. “You’re an asshole.”

  “I know,” he uttered roughly. “But this asshole adores you.”

  Oh, he didn’t.

  He did not.

  That’s all it took.

  My face crumpled and I burst into tears, and as I sobbed, I spoke through my cries. “I am so petrified.”

  “Of what?” When I didn’t respond, he tried again. “I need you to talk to me, angel.”

  My shoulders shook. I dipped my chin, watching the tears fall into my lap. My voice was feather-soft. “Of you leaving me again.” I implored, “Do you know how that feels? To never know if today is your last day together? To always think that this could be it?” The tears kept coming, and I croaked, “It’s fucking terrifying to want forever with someone who may not be able to give it to you.” I took in a deep, shaking breath, as I admitted, “I lost myself when I lost you. I don’t think I’d survive it a second time.”

  He watched me closely, his eyes soft. He didn’t speak a while, but when he did, his tone was earnest. “Everything I did, I did for us, so we could be a family.”

  “I know. But it hurts to love you, Twitch.” I spoke through a shuddering exhale. “It always has.”

  Reaching over, he took my hand in one hand and took my chin in the other, turning me to face him, and what he said made my stomach clench. “Ride this out with me and we’ll make it out of this together.” Lowering his head, he pressed his lips to my knuckles
and spoke against them. “Ride or die, baby. Together for always. You’re it for me. I know I’m it for you.” He peered up at me through his lowered gaze. “Love me forever?”

  My lips parted and I swallowed hard. “Forever is a long time.”

  His eyes crinkled in the corners. “Yes, it is.”

  He released me with a reluctant sigh before he opened the passenger door. He hesitated a second before he looked straight ahead, and the solemn vow he made had my heart aching.

  “It probably doesn’t mean shit now, and I know you needed to hear it back then, but I couldn’t give it to you then, so I’m layin’ it down now.” A short pause, and then, “I will love you till the end of time.”

  Before I could even register what he’d said, the door had shut and he was walking back across the street.

  ***

  Twitch

  It had been a rough week on my angel and I knew what she needed.

  A night out.

  A night of good food.

  A night with her man.

  Preferably one in which we ended our rough week with a rough night in bed.

  So when I turned up at the house, wearin’ the eight thousand dollar suit I’d bought just for her, and walked down the hall, into the family room, I saw Molly and A.J. reclining on the sofa. When the little woman spotted me, she chuckled before letting out a long whistle. “Holy shit. You going to a funeral or something?”

  My son just looked up at me with wide eyes and whispered, “Whoa.”

  But the house felt empty. Frowning, I looked around, before asking, “Where is she?”

  A.J. turned back to the TV. “Date night.”

  Excuse me?

  My voice turned low. “What now?”

  Molly’s wide eyes settled on me. “It’s date night.”

  Like hell it was.

  “With who?” I could barely contain my fucking rage.

  Molly shrugged before looking me up and down. “I’m sure you could find her if you really wanted to. You know,” she said with meaning, her brow arching. “Like you found me?”

  Pausing only momentarily to say goodnight to my son, I left the house, and my anger pulsed so hard that all I could hear was the rushing of blood in my ears. Stopping home, I got my keys and headed to the car. I started it then reached over to the glove box, retrieving my treasured .45 caliber, resting it on the seat beside me.

  My jaw steeled as I thought about what Molly said.

  Looked like I was going to a funeral after all.

  Pedal to the metal, I sped down the street, absolutely fucking raging, tracking the GPS to my woman.

  And God help her when I found her.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Eight

  Lexi

  I knew he’d come. I was counting on it. And as I sat on the beach waiting, I heard his sigh as he approached. I twisted back to look at him, and when his face went from irate to mildly relieved, he paused, shaking his head before he muttered, “You’re alone.”

  My brow narrowed a moment, but when I saw what he was wearing, a soft smile graced my lips. It was a blast from the past to see him in the tailored gunmetal-gray suit.

  Jesus fucking Christ almighty. I bit my lip. “You look handsome.”

  My lady bits liked that very much.

  He came to stand next to me, and when I peered up at him from my sitting position, he glared down at me. “Molly said you were on a date.”

  “No, she didn’t.” I looked out toward the shore, watching the waves crash and foam. “She said I was on date night.”

  Silence followed, and the longer it went on, the wider my internal grin became.

  “Okay,” he said, moving to sit by me. “I’ll bite.” Lifting his knees, he rested his forearms on them then narrowed his eyes on me. “What’s date night?”

  I smiled to myself, mentally praising his cool and calm demeanor.

  Was this a test? Not intentionally, no. But it was proving to be a good one, and his composure told me just how much he’d changed.

  That was important.

  “To answer that question, you need a little background info. So,” I started, “A.J. was at school one day, when one of the students asked their teacher what date night was. The little girl wanted to know because her parents were going on a date night, and she wasn’t sure what that was. A.J.’s teacher was explaining that sometimes mommies and daddies go together for a night out without their children. That some parents did this once a week, while others only did this on special days. And when A.J. came home, he asked me why I didn’t ever go on date nights. I explained that it only applied to parents who had partners.” I turned to face Twitch. “But A.J. didn’t think that was fair to me.”

  Twitch’s face softened and my smile widened. “Ah, the injustices of the world. Nope. Our son wasn’t having it. He asked if there was a special day, any day, that I could use for a date night. And I had one in mind. So, he insisted I use it. And here we are.” I turned to the man by my side. “It’s fitting you’re here for it.”

  “Why today?”

  “It’s March eighteenth.” When I saw he wasn’t catching on, I put him out of his misery. “The day we met, as adults. You know.” I watched him closely and laid the bait. “The day you organized for that awful man to attack me.”

  Well, that got him talking.

  He straightened and sneered. “He was never meant to take it that far. And when I saw what the fuck he’d done, how he hurt you, I went berserk. Lost my damned mind. I could’ve torn him apart with my bare hands.” Twitch’s balled his hands into fists. “Kill him all over again given the chance.”

  “I know,” I murmured. “I know you would.”

  A thick silence enveloped us, and I couldn’t help myself.

  Grinning into the night sky, I asked, “How mad were you when you thought I was on a date?”

  “Mad enough to have brought my Glock.”

  I should not have found that as funny as I did. My laughter rang into the fresh evening air, and I heard the dangerous man beside me choke on his own laugh.

  God, we were crazy.

  When my laughter quieted, I spoke softly, “We’ve come a long way, haven’t we, honey?”

  “Yeah,” he agreed, and I felt his eyes on me.

  I turned to face him, and when I found him frowning at me, my own frown formed. “What?”

  Jaw tight, he looking straight ahead. “I do know how it feels...” He paused. “To feel like this might be our last day together.” He licked his bottom lip. “And it scares the shit out of me.” I gave him the moment he clearly needed before he went on. “You’re scared of me leavin’, and I’m scared of you waking up and realizing you’re officially sick of my bullshit. ‘Cause one day, you will.”

  He said this so agonizingly soft that I recognized he really believed that.

  Around and around we go.

  What a pair we were.

  “The last time I saw you alive, you told me you wanted to break me,” I recalled quietly.

  “Who says that goal has changed?” My head snapped sideways to his, my eyes narrowing, but his gaze smiled back teasingly. “How else am I meant to put you back together again?”

  I rolled my eyes, but my heart warmed in a way that was hazardous to my health.

  Into the darkness, we listened to the waves crash, when he finally spoke again. “I realized too late.”

  My brows knitted. “Realized what?”

  His stormy eyes focused on me. “That breaking you would never fix me.”

  Oh, baby.

  How he’d grown.

  It was too much for me. I needed a fresh conversation. Lighter conversation. “Do you remember when you used to bring me here?”

  “I remember everything.” He grinned then. “We’d come here to get high.”

  “No,” I corrected him. “You’d get high and I’d watch.” My eyes widened. “And then I’d let you drive me home.” I shook my head at my idiocy, chuckling humorlessly. “Oh, God, I w
as so reckless with you.”

  “You were, but it was fun.” He smirked.

  My brows arched. “I don’t know about that.”

  He looked at me. “You tellin’ me you don’t think about that time and smile at the memories?”

  Of course I did. How could I not? It was the most turbulent, unstable time of my life, and I loved every second of it. But times had changed.

  I conceded, “Some of it was fun. But the thought of doing it all over again—” I tried to quell my soft laughter but failed. “—I think I’d give that a polite pass. I’m a mother now.” I smiled sadly. “I can’t just think about myself anymore.”

  “I feel that, baby,” he allowed, and I know he did. He loved his son more than anything. I genuinely felt it whenever they were together. “A.J. is everything I knew he’d be and more. And I’m grateful.”

  He was grateful.

  The memory from way back when assaulted me hard and fast, and I was thankful for the darkness then as my knees tightened and my stomach clenched.

  “You’re grateful?”

  Twitch looked at me then, and when I moved, I could tell he was wondering what I was up to. But as I crawled the short distance over and used his rock-hard shoulders as leverage, lifting my leg and climbing over him, his hands landed on my hips, helping me settle into his lap.

  Our faces close, I ran my nose up the length of his and whispered, “Grateful enough to suck my tongue?”

  His shuddering intake of breath had my pussy flooding on cue. My lips parted slightly. I ignored the heavy beat of my heart and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the edge of his lip, and the hands on my waist tightened like a vice. “Lexi,” he growled in warning, a moment before his stormy eyes met mine. “Don’t play with me, woman.”

  My eyes widened at the brutal tone he took with me. I was worried he’d mistake my sudden quiet gasp for fear.

  I should’ve known better.

  Twitch chuckled darkly. “You think you’re in control here?” He clicked his tongue. “Oh, baby.” When he leaned in and his minty breath warmed my lips as he uttered roughly, “It’s like you don’t even know me,” I choked on a moan, my panties completely, almost embarrassingly, soaked.