by Belle Aurora
I guess it would have to be. It wasn’t like we had a choice.
“Look,” Twitch said as he took my hand, running his thumb along mine caringly. “How about I go, and when shit is sorted, you bring your ass down with my boy?”
Wow.
He sounded like he positively hated that idea, like it was hard for him to even say out loud.
Lucky for him, that didn’t work for me.
It was crazy how much love you could harbor for another person. It coursed through my veins. Gave me life. “We go together,” I uttered gently before turning to Ethan. “A week is great. We’ll make it work. Thank you, Ethan.”
Ethan stood. “Great. I have a phone call to make. Excuse me.”
Once he was gone, Twitch’s fingers wrapped around then tugged on my wrist, and when I found his soft brown gaze, he muttered, “You don’t have to do this.”
My response was blunt. “I know I don’t.”
His brows rose. “This attitude of yours is new.” His lips thinned. “Don’t know if I’m loving it or hating it, Lex.” I couldn’t help the grin that stretched my lips. And when he looked at me, I mean really looked at me, his brows lowered marginally. “Are we really doing this?”
I tilted my head in thought. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “We are.”
“You sure?”
I had a feeling he wasn’t going to ask again. This was the time to speak up if I had any concerns or disputes. And the more I thought about it, I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do than take our first steps as a family. To grow. To rebuild what had been broken together.
As I looked over at our son, I smiled to myself. “We’re good, baby.”
In fact, nothing sounded more perfect to me.
Chapter
Forty-Seven
Lexi
“They can’t do that.” Nikki shot up out of her seat, wide-eyed and furious.
I smiled at her outrage on my behalf. When I spoke, it was gentle and calm. “They already did, sweetie.”
“But—” Nikki began to pant. “But—” She looked like she was going to be sick. Her voice weakened. “But—” She threw the back of her hand into Happy’s shoulder, and when he glared up at her, her face crumpled. “Do something!”
Happy’s expression softened. He pulled his main squeeze down by her wrist and settled her by his side. “Ain’t nothing I can do about this, babe. Besides—” Happy smiled sadly over at his brother. “—they want to go.”
“No, they don’t,” Nikki murmured. My expression gave me away. Her eyes shone brightly, and when they settled on me, her lips parted, as she stated accusingly, “You want to go?” She blinked rapidly. “You want to leave us?” She sounded utterly heartbroken. “Why?”
I knew this was going to be hard, but somehow it went differently in my head.
Standing in the corner of the room with his arms folded over his chest like a petulant child, like the broody bitch he was, Dave glared at Twitch severely. “Because of him.”
Twitch threw his arm up and shot Dave the bird. “Fuck you, David Allen.”
Dave didn’t flinch. “It’s the truth.” He pushed himself off of the wall and moped. “She’s leaving us because of your endless fuck-ups.” He looked so confused. “Regardless of who you are and what you do, she loves you. Always has.” He shrugged, appearing lost in thought. “I don’t get it.”
That was when Happy murmured, “You wouldn’t.”
The entire room went silent.
Uh oh.
Dave’s brows lowered a notch. “What’s that meant to mean?”
Happy put his hands up, conceding. “This isn’t about us.”
Dave took a step forward. “You just made it about us.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything.” Happy peered at me, then Twitch, and I couldn’t help but notice the way Nikki rubbed his arm as she kept her sad eyes on her man. “I apologize.”
But Dave didn’t want to quit this conversation. “No, you shouldn’t have. But you did. So...” He threw his arms out to the sides. “Go on, Happy. Say what you want to say.”
Happy gritted his teeth in frustration. “You want me to talk?”
“Yeah.” Dave’s brows arched. “I want you to talk.”
“Okay, you wanna do this here? Fine.” Happy’s jaw remained tight, and it didn’t match the serene way in which he spoke. He peered at his ex, and his narrowed eyes told me what was coming was probably not something Dave wanted to hear. “You’re a fucking coward.”
My brows shot up to my hairline.
Snap.
This was a long time coming. The tension between Happy and Dave had been building for a while now, and it just reached boiling point.
No going back now.
Them’s was fighting words.
Dave stumbled back a step as though he’d been pushed. Placing a hand on his chest, his lips parted in shock. He blinked over at Happy, and when he found his voice, he said faintly, “That’s not fair.”
“No, it isn’t,” Happy agreed, then sighed. “But it’s the truth.” When he pointed at me as suddenly as he did, I leaned back in surprise. “Here is a person who knows what she wants. Loves the man she loves and will follow him to the ends of the earth, just because she knows, Dave. She knows she can’t live without him. And that’s a beautiful thing.” He glowered at his ex-partner. “You mock her for adoring him, but she’s braver than you ever were. Than you’ll ever be.” Happy’s stern expression fell away, and all that was left was pure sadness. His tone matched his wretchedness. “So you tell yourself you don’t need me as much as I need you. You be the dismal bastard that was created by your fear. It’s all good, baby.” His tone darkened. “But don’t you mock her for being the person you couldn’t be.”
Twitch reached into his pocket, pulled out a handful of chocolate rainbow-colored candy, and threw a couple into his mouth, chewing slowly. “That’s what I’ve been sayin’.” I flung my elbow into his side and he looked down at me, annoyed. “What?” He winked at my unsubtle eye roll and held a chocolate up to my mouth.
Despite myself, my lips parted, because... chocolate.
The silence was suffocating, and when I turned to face Twitch, my expression screamed, “What the frick?”
Twitch sighed and his lip curled. Before he spoke, his face gentled. “Yo, Dave,” he called out, leaning back and resting his arm behind my head on the sofa. When Dave peered at him, dejected, Twitch jerked his chin toward him. “Why you makin’ my brother miserable, man?”
Okay. So, Twitch was about as subtle as an anal probe.
Dave scoffed. “I’m making him miserable?” Dave spun to face Happy. “I said I was sorry!”
Happy stood, matching Dave’s octave. “You made me move out!”
Dave’s face crumbled. “I made a mistake!”
“So let me move back in!” Happy thundered.
Dave boomed, “I’ve been trying to for months. I just didn’t know how!”
To that, Happy had no response. But Twitch did. He put his lips to the shell of my ear, sounding smug as all get out. “And that’s how it’s done.” As I leaned into him, smiling to myself, his arm tightened around my shoulders. When neither Happy nor Dave spoke, Twitch got sick of the way they stood there looking extremely puzzled by the last minute’s exchange. He clicked his tongue, “Bro.” Happy turned back to face him, and Twitch uttered a bored, “You gonna kiss and make up or what? ‘Cause I gotta tell ya.” He made an uninterested face. “I’m kinda done with this bullshit.”
Nikki’s small smile stretched wide as she watched from the sideline, and when Happy took his time, she put her hand to his thigh and gently pushed him toward Dave. And after what felt like a lifetime, when Happy moved, so did Dave.
The two men embraced like lovers reunited, and when they kissed, I felt their broken connection fuse, mending right in front of my eyes. They kissed slowly, and my heart began to swell at the way their love filled the room.
Nikki’s rested her
clamped hands under her chin, looking blissfully happy. But when her eyes caught something by the door, her face turned alarmed and she let out a startled, “Uh....”
And when I turned back, I saw why.
A.J. stood there, watching Happy and Dave rekindle their bond. He didn’t look upset or disgusted. Just curious.
The light grunt that escaped me had everyone turning toward my son, and when they did, they stilled completely, frozen in shock.
It took him a while before he spoke, but I knew he would eventually.
“Uncle Happy,” he asked inquisitively, “Why are you kissing Dave?”
My heart stuttered.
Oh, God, I wasn’t prepared for this talk. Why was I not prepared for this talk? I knew it would come eventually. I should have been ready for this talk!
Happy’s looked panicked. “Uh....”
“Well...” Dave’s cheeks were flushed and he swallowed hard. “You see, little dude....” Dave trailed off, not sure what to say, looking to me for help.
An unsuspected hero came to the rescue.
“Come here, bud,” Twitch uttered, patting the small spot next to him. “Sit.” A.J. took the seat next to his father, and when Twitch spoke, I was stunned by what he said. “Uncle Happy and Dave are in love, and that’s why they were kissing.”
Ugh. My heart.
The little monster frowned in thought. “But I thought Nikki and Uncle Happy loved each other.”
“We do.” Nikki smiled sweetly. “Very much.” She peered over at Dave. “But we love Dave too.”
Twitch looked down at our little guy, and explained, “Sometimes dudes fall in love with dudes, and that’s okay.”
Yes, it was, baby. Preach.
A moment’s silence passed.
A.J. turned to Nikki and asked interestedly, “Do you all sleep in the same bed?”
Well, shit.
My stomach dipped violently.
Nikki got over her shock quickly and cleared her throat. “Yes, we do, honey.”
A.J.’s nose bunched as he looked over at Happy and Dave. When he turned back to Nikki, he said, “Don’t you get squished?”
Nikki’s surprised laughter sounded throughout the room, and she nodded. “Well, yeah. Sometimes I do.”
A.J. sat back into his grinning father and threw out a suggestion. “Maybe you should get a bigger bed.”
“You know what?” Nikki stifled her laughter. “That’s a great idea. Maybe we should.”
And while all of this was happening, I just sat there, blinking down at my son. The amount of pride I felt in that moment was incomparable. He really was a beautiful soul. Our boy. A.J was resilient, he was pure of heart, and he continued to amaze me. As mothers often did, I couldn’t wait to see the man he would become. I already knew he would be something special, and the woman who captured his heart would be exceptional in every way, shape, and form.
I, for one, couldn’t wait to meet her.
The afternoon went on, and after I signed the forms, I handed them to Happy. “Thank you for doing this.”
He tucked the Power of Attorney papers into his jacket pocket. “Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about the house. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll make sure you get the best possible price for it.” He inclined his head to Twitch. “You too, bro.”
I knew he would, but as I looked around the house I called home for the last six years, I couldn’t help but feel a sweeping sadness rush through me. I hugged myself as I looked down the hall. The very same hall my son had taken his first steps in. There were a lot of memories lining these walls. I just hoped they would stay fresh in my mind as we made new memories wherever we ended up.
Arms came around my waist and held me as I fell apart on the inside. The man behind me remained silent, and I loved him for knowing that words couldn’t describe what I was feeling right then.
We were days away from uprooting and I was anxious.
It was a bold move.
No home. No friends. No bed to sleep in. Starting from scratch at thirty-eight years old. It was rough.
My chest ached at the realization that I only had days left with everything I knew and loved, everything familiar to me. And that sucked. But what sucked worse was the six years I spent without the man I loved.
I would choose him.
I would choose him a thousand times.
I would choose him for eternity, because my heart remained empty without him.
So we would move and we would do it happily.
Together, as a family.
I was proud of myself.
Saying goodbye was harder than I imagined, and I imagined it to be horrible, so that was saying something. All of our friends and family came to see us off, and while Ethan Black stood off to the side, we embraced our loved ones with heavy hearts and shining eyes.
Julius snaked his arms around me. “We’ll visit,” he rumbled tightly. I squeezed him tighter, unable to speak, and when Ana threw her arms around the both of us, my throat constricted uncomfortably.
I would miss them terribly, all of them, equally.
So when Ana knelt in front of A.J. and handed him the same brown bear he had given her what seemed like a lifetime ago, he blinked down at it before frowning in question. And when she spoke, she spoke clearly without the shake in her voice I’d heard so often, without the crippling fear I knew she carried inside of her. With Ling gone, part of Ana had healed. “I know you’re a big boy and you don’t need him anymore.” She looked down at the bear. “Whenever I would feel sad or lonely, I would hug brown bear. And your bear did a real good job of chasing that sadness away.” Her expression fell as she lifted the bear and hugged him one last time. When she was done, she held him out to my son. “But it’s time he was returned to you.”
A.J. looked torn. He hesitated. “But he’s yours now. You need him.”
Ana reached out and cupped A.J.’s cheek lovingly, as she whispered, “I think you need him more.”
Oh, Jesus. My heart. They were killing me.
A.J. reluctantly took his brown bear from Ana. He peered down at the plush, cookie-scented teddy a long moment before he leapt into Ana’s arms. She hugged him and kissed him and whispered endlessly into his ear, and when they finally separated, both of their eyes were misting.
It broke my heart.
Well, this blew.
Ethan cleared his throat from the sidelines and my gut cramped. It was time. And as we made the move to do the long walk into the international terminal, I held it together. I waved and smiled and held my shit together like my world wasn’t falling apart. I kept that false smile pasted on my face until we boarded. I wore that smile like a mask until we found our seats, and I held it there. A piece of armor. A heavy shield. My smile was my sword. I held it there as the plane took off. Once we were flying high, only then did I allow it to falter.
My smile wobbled and wavered. The inevitable sting of salty tears behind my lids. I took in a quavering breath as the mask I wore crumbled to pieces, and when the first sob hit me, it hit me hard, leaving me gasping for air.
Without a word, Twitch lifted the armrest between us and pulled me onto his lap. I buried my face into the crook of his neck and wept openly as he kissed my cheek, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I was emotional. A wreck. And he let me be without judgment or scorn. He let me be me, and I didn’t think there was anything more important in the world than being with somebody who didn’t fear your demons, but made love to them.
I cried until there were no tears left in me, and when I was done, the sorrow had ebbed out of me. I felt better, lighter.
Slowly, I slid my legs off of my rock and shuffled back into my own seat, swiping at my red, swollen eyes. He left me be a while, but when the silence between us started to bother him, he leaned over into my face, and as I blinked at him through wide eyes, he demanded quietly, “Kiss me.”
There would never be a time in my life when I would deny myself the feel of Antonio Falco’s lips agai
nst mine.
I kissed him softly, my hand coming up to cup his cheek as I did. And when I pulled back, he leaned back in to peck at my lips. My heart warmed and a smile took me by surprise.
With our son by our side, we held hands the entire journey home.
I closed my eyes and rested back in my seat as we took our first step toward forever.
It was our second week back in the States. Nothing was as I remembered it. We were literally home, in our hometown, and nothing about this place felt familiar. Everything had changed. Everything felt wrong. So when Twitch asked Ethan if he could watch A.J. for the afternoon, my curiosity was piqued.
When I asked where we were going, all Twitch said was, “For a drive.”
It was a long one. The entire way, Twitch silenced my thousand questions, but when we reached our old neighborhood, I found I had no further questions to ask. I watched on through the passenger window as familiarity started to show itself in this unfamiliar place. And when Twitch pulled up to the curb, the two houses in front of us stood there, an everlasting memory shot through my head, and suddenly, I was six again.
“What’s your name?” I asked in my sweet six-year-old voice.
I abruptly found it hard to breathe.
He kicked at a stone. “Doesn’t matter. You’ll forget it once I’m gone.”
Home.
We were home.
Twitch watched me a long while, as my eyes surveyed just how much the houses hadn’t changed. It was so strange. The entire neighborhood had altered, upgraded, except for these two houses. It was as though they were stuck in a time warp.
Stuck waiting for us.
“C’mon,” he uttered softly, and when he stepped out of the car, I leisurely undid my seatbelt and followed.
I swallowed hard as memory after memory assaulted me like bullets. Shot after shot, they penetrated my heart, my soul. And even after this short while, I found I didn’t want to be here anymore. It hurt too much.
“Why are we here?” I asked softly.
“Because,” he said, turning to face our memories. “These houses were cruel to us.”
Yes, they were, and thinking about it made my heart ache.