by Amanda Renee
It angered him to think about how Nicolino had treated him. If Nicolino had known she wasn’t coming back when he left for Wyoming, he should have told him despite the questions Lane would have asked. He would’ve stayed out there. He never would’ve come back. That’s a lie. He would’ve come back for his mother, for Curly, for Rusty. The entire time he’d been in Wyoming, he’d missed Ramblewood. It wasn’t just because of Lucy.
It didn’t matter anymore. It was over. Lane fluffed up one of the pillows on the couch and stretched out. He’d worry about it tomorrow. Tonight he didn’t want to think about Lucy, Carina...or his son.
They’d had a son...
* * *
LANE WOKE TO the sound of pounding the next morning. He’d never been fond of waking up and not knowing where he was, and since Lucy had been back in town, it’d happened twice. His head throbbed in rhythm with the pounding. He climbed off the couch and swung open the door.
“It’s about time you woke up.” Rusty pushed past him. “I’ve been trying to call you all night.”
“What for?” Lane grumbled. Shane had found his phone and given it to Lexi. After that he’d turned it off.
“Your mama and I are getting hitched.” Rusty slapped him on the back. “I thought it only fitting that you be the first to know.”
I need a drink. “Congratulations.” Lane rummaged through the trailer until he found a bottle of whiskey. He pulled out two red plastic cups and set them on the counter. After pouring two fingers in each, he handed one to Rusty. “Here’s to the happy couple.” Lane tossed back his drink.
Rusty glanced around the trailer. “You here alone?”
“Sure am, and I intend on staying that way.” Lane poured himself another drink, screwed the cap back on the bottle and set it back in the cabinet. “I didn’t think you would ever break your bachelor status.” Lane tossed back another and slammed his empty cup on the counter. “You treat her good or else you’ll have to answer to me. And don’t expect me to call you Daddy.”
“Heard you had some excitement with the little one last night.” Rusty sat on the couch.
“That was bad enough. It was what happened afterward that blew me away.”
Lane excused himself to the bathroom. When he came back out, Rusty had a serious expression plastered across his face.
“Seeing as we’re going to be family and all, you should be able to talk to me about anything.”
Lane laughed at the older man. “I’ve been coming to you with my problems since I was a kid. It’s nothing new. I just choose not to discuss this one.”
“Suit yourself. Just do me a favor this time. Leave my saddle out of it. The last time you were down in the dumps, you made it so slick I darn near killed myself,” Rusty grumbled. “Now, how would you feel about being my best man?”
Lane joined him on the couch. “I’d be honored. You make my mom happy when you’re not driving her crazy.”
That silence he enjoyed with Lucy and Carina when they were riding home in his truck was perfect. The silence he was experiencing now with Rusty staring at him, waiting for him to explode, didn’t quite have the same effect.
“If I tell you, you can’t tell Mom. Our private conversations override any ‘we tell each other everything’ pacts you might have with her.” The last thing he needed was his mom meddling in his business. He loved her dearly, but she didn’t need to know every detail of his life. This was one of them.
“You have my word as a gentleman.”
Coming from anybody else, that would be laughable, but coming from Rusty, it actually meant something.
“I found out why Lucy left me ten years ago.”
Over the next three hours, he rehashed the entire series of events leading up to his sleeping in the Airstream.
“That’s a tough one, son. I understand where you’re both coming from.”
“If she had married Antonio after the miscarriage, I think I would’ve understood.” Lane knew he would have been able to forgive her. “But this man planned to raise my child and keep it from me. My child! You don’t steal another man’s baby. I don’t care what I said back then about not having kids.” Lane took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I take responsibility for my part in this. But that doesn’t excuse what she did. It would have been one thing if I had been a violent man or her life had been in danger. I was a stupid kid who said he didn’t want kids, and based on that, they were going to pass my child off as Antonio’s. That’s reprehensible.”
“Do you love her?” Rusty asked.
“I’m not as sure of it as I was twenty-four hours ago.” Lane had always thought of Lucy as the one great love who’d gotten away. None of the women he’d been with since had compared to her. Which seemed ridiculous now. He had compared grown women to a teenage infatuation. What he thought was love back then was probably more lust than anything. They’d been two kids with big plans. He’d be willing to bet 99 percent of kids at that age had similar plans.
“Sounds like you have some thinking to do.” Rusty slapped him on the back.
“That’s exactly what I don’t need to be doing,” Lane said. “What time is it, anyway?”
Rusty checked his watch. “It’s almost ten o’clock.”
Lane tugged on his boots. “How did you know I was here, anyway?”
“Shane told me.”
“Well, that figures. Let’s head out of here.” Lane locked up the trailer and rehid the key. “I really am happy for you and Mom.”
* * *
LUCY HOPED SHE wasn’t calling Ella’s house too early Sunday morning. She’d wanted to call last night but it had been too late. After three rings, Ella answered the phone, her voice slightly groggy.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Lucy, are you okay? Lexi called last night and told us about Carina. You were still at the hospital and she said you’d probably call once she’d been released. When I hadn’t heard from you, I assumed you went home and got some much-needed rest.”
“Oh, Ella, it’s awful. Between Carina’s accident and Lane finding out everything, I don’t know what to do.”
“You’re going to start by drying your eyes before that young’un of yours wakes up. I’ll be right over.” Ella hung up the phone before Lucy could argue.
Ten minutes later, Ella let herself in the front door and joined her at the kitchen table. “What happened? Start from the beginning and don’t leave anything out.”
Lucy proceeded to tell Ella about Carina’s accident and everything that had happened once they’d arrived home.
“I think you need to take a moment to cool down. Carina’s going to be just fine, and as for Lane, it was a lot for him to absorb at once.” While she appreciated Ella’s positive vibes, she believed the opposite. Lane was finished. “Have you tried calling him?”
“No.” Lucy refused to be the woman who called and hounded a man who wanted nothing to do with her. A small part of her might have wanted to, but she was stronger than that; she was worth more than that. “My biggest concern is Carina. He promised not to disappear from her life, and I have to trust him.”
“Lane’s not going anywhere. He left that one time to go to Wyoming and it didn’t work out. It wouldn’t have worked out whether you were there with him or not. If he says he’ll still be there for Carina, he will be. He’s a man of his word.”
“Fine, but how do I tell my daughter we’ll never have another family outing?” As much as she appreciated everything Lane had done for Carina, she wished she’d never involved her daughter in any of it. She’d keep the next man in her life far away, if there was a next man. Lucy couldn’t even imagine being with any man except Lane. And now he was gone.
“You don’t.” Ella placed her hands over Lucy’s. “This is not like Antonio. You have tomorrow. You have the next day. You told him the truth and that’s the best thing you could’ve done. You both need time to process everything. It’s not a race to the finish line. Enjoy your time alone with Carina
, because before you know it, she’ll be going off to college. I don’t have that luxury. When you have five kids, you very rarely get to spend time alone with one. Use this time to your advantage.”
Lucy hadn’t looked at it that way. She’d always felt bad Carina had been an only child. She’d never considered how special their relationship was compared to larger families. But she’d had a taste of family life with Lane and she wasn’t ready to give up that dream, not yet.
* * *
“HOW’S CARINA FEELING?” Lexi greeted her Monday morning outside the lab door.
“Good enough to go to school.” Lucy sighed when she didn’t see any sign of Lane. It had been more wishful thinking than anything. He’d said he needed space, and she’d give it to him.
“And Lane?” she asked. “He didn’t say anything, but he looked pretty rough when I picked him up.” Lexi unlocked the door and held it open for Lucy to enter. “I’m not going to stick my nose in your business, but if you’re fighting about Carina’s accident—”
“We’re not. We’re fighting over something that happened ten years ago.”
Lexi laughed. “I could write a whole book on that subject.”
One of the biggest differences between barn management and breed management was the abundance of female companionship. It was impossible to feel bad about a situation when you had an entire team of women cheering you on. They might not know all the specifics, but they had your back.
“So now we’re giving each other space, and it’s Carina’s birthday in a few days. I don’t know if I should invite him or not. It’s just a small family gathering. You and Shane are welcome to come. I don’t want to crowd him, but I don’t want to disappoint my daughter, either.”
“I’d ask him. It’s not for your benefit—it’s for Carina’s,” Lexi said. “You know how men can be, so definitely preface the invitation with the fact that you’re asking for Carina and keep any reference to you two out of it. I think he’ll understand. Better yet, call him on the phone. Call him now so I can pinch you if you say too much.”
Lucy took a few deep breaths before she dialed Lane’s cell phone number. He answered on the first ring.
“Hello.”
Okay, the fact that he’d answered her call was a start. “Hi. I wanted to let you know we’re having a small birthday party for Carina on Thursday night at the house. It’s for family, but I know she would love to see you there. There’s nothing more to it than that.”
“Of course I’ll be there,” Lane said. For a moment, it sounded as if he wanted to say more, but he didn’t.
“Great. We’ll see you then. Have a good day.” Lexi motioned for her to hang up the phone.
“See, you did it.” Lexi patted her on the back. “Let’s go check on our foals. You look like you could use a dose of cuteness right about now.”
Lucy followed Lexi out of the lab a little more hopeful that she had been a few minutes earlier. Her daughter deserved an amazing birthday. It was the first one she’d celebrate without Antonio and Lucy didn’t want anything to spoil it. Carina didn’t need to know Lucy and Lane had broken up until after her birthday. Every child deserved a special day of happiness.
Chapter Thirteen
“Make a wish.” Lucy held Carina’s hair out of the way as she blew out her candles. “And don’t tell anyone your wish or else it won’t come true.”
“That’s a cute cake,” Lane said to Nicolino. It was two tiers of bubblegum pink with silver horseshoes and other tack around the sides. A giant American paint horse closely resembling Jigsaw sat lounging on top.
“Ella had Maggie Dalton custom-make it for Carina, but after the accident, she was a little nervous about picking it up.”
“Did you ever think we would be standing around a nine-year-old girl’s birthday party discussing cake?”
“Especially pink cake,” Nicolino added. “I hear Jigsaw is doing really well.”
“Funny thing... Lexi told me all the vet bills had been paid in advance. Would you happen to know something about that?”
“Me?” Nicolino feigned surprise. “I have no idea what you are talking about. I think I hear Ella calling me.”
Lane laughed. He knew enough not to push the issue. Some people’s actions spoke louder than words.
For a kid who had taken the ride of her life less than a week ago, Carina looked remarkably well. He’d sat up thinking about her and Lucy almost every night since then. Two months ago, he hadn’t even known Carina existed; now his life wouldn’t be complete without her in it. And as much as he had tried to convince himself Lucy had been nothing more than a teenage infatuation, it didn’t explain how he felt this time around. He’d asked her for space and she’d given it to him. After searching his heart, he felt strong enough to give their relationship another chance. That is, if Lucy was still open to the idea.
“I have a little something for you.” He sat next to Carina on the couch and handed her a pink-and-silver gift bag.
Carina removed the tissue paper and peered into it. “Mamma, look!” She pulled out a turquoise T-shirt and held it up in front of her.
“What does it say on the front?” Lucy leaned in for a closer look. “‘World’s Bravest Cowgirl.’”
“Thank you.” Carina wrapped her good arm around his neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I love it.”
Lane had never picked out clothing for anyone other than himself before. He’d been nervous about the color and size. He guessed it had been good practice for when he had kids someday. Hopefully, that day would come sooner rather than later.
“You look deep in thought.” Lucy handed him a glass of wine.
“Thank you. I was just thinking about you.” Lane gestured to the front door.
Lucy nodded and followed him onto the porch. “Do I dare ask what you were thinking about me?
“I know we haven’t been around each other much as adults.” Lane sat in the same rocking chair he had that first night. “But I think we’re mature enough to know who we like and what we like. I feel different when I’m around you.”
Lucy sat next to him in the other chair. “How do you feel?”
“Complete.” Lane couldn’t believe he was about to put his heart on the line. “You know my history. My parents never formed the perfect family unit. I don’t have one picture of my mom, my dad and me together, so believe me when I say the concept is very foreign to me. But when I’m with you and Carina, it feels natural. It feels right, like this is what it’s all about.”
“Do you still feel that way?” Lucy asked. “Can you look at me and honestly say you feel more love than hurt where I’m concerned?”
“I’ve always loved you, Lucy.” Lane reached for her hand. “Even when I was mad at you. Even when you married somebody else, I still loved you. I may have hated what happened between us, but I never stopped loving you.”
“Is it enough?” Lucy asked. “Is your love enough to overcome the past? Because admittedly, I’ve been the offender. Is there enough love to forgive the things I’ve done?”
Lane knew in his heart that he’d been partially to blame. “I’m the one who asked you to leave your family and everything you knew in Italy and in Texas to move to a state you had never seen, never even really heard of...and then I had the nerve to be surprised when you never showed. Honestly, who could blame you?” He hadn’t realized how presumptuous he’d been until he’d said the words aloud. “I think the question you should be asking is if you can forgive yourself. You’ve carried all this guilt for things that were out of your control. You can speculate about our baby all you want, and you’re never going to have an answer. But I am glad you told me. And yes, I’ve thought—a lot. I think we not only have enough love, we have a love strong enough to survive.”
“Where do we go from here?” Lucy asked.
“I know where I would like to go.” Lane stood, holding her hand in his. Then he knelt before her on one knee. “I’d like to take this to the next level and share
a life with you, the life we—”
“The life we missed out on?”
Lane shook his head. “We didn’t miss out on anything. We were a little sidetracked. That doesn’t mean it’s too late.”
“What are you asking me?”
“I don’t have some big speech prepared and I don’t have a diamond ring. I can buy you a diamond ring and I can write you a speech someday, but all I can offer you right now is a promise. A promise to love you, a promise to always be by your side and a promise to make you my wife, if you’ll have me.”
“Yes! I would love to be your wife.”
“That was it! My wish!” Carina shouted from inside the cottage. The front door flew open and she ran onto the porch. “My wish came true!”
Lane straightened and pulled Lucy to her feet. Somehow he had the feeling many more intimate moments like this would be interrupted in their future together. But he didn’t care.
“How long have you been listening at the window?” Lucy asked.
“I wasn’t listening. I was watching.” Carina giggled. “I wanted to put my presents on the table by the window and that’s when I saw you kneeling in front of Mamma.” Carina turned to Lane. “You did ask her, right?”
“Yes.” Lane couldn’t believe she’d wished her mother would marry him. Lane sat in the rocking chair so he’d be eye level with her. “Carina, are you sure you’re okay with this?”
Carina nodded eagerly. “I’ve never been more ready. You love Mamma and she loves you. What more is there?”
* * *
“YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, MAMMA.”
“You’re the most gorgeous bride I’ve ever seen.” Ella finished fastening the back of Lucy’s vintage-inspired ivory-lace-and-organza wedding gown. She hadn’t had one when she’d married Antonio and still couldn’t believe she was wearing one now. She needed someone to pinch her so she’d finally believe her wedding day to Lane was here.