by Karen Kay
“What did he say when you told him this?”
“He argued with me, he told me to divorce him, so that he could be free of me, then he brought me back to the fort. But from some of the things he has said to me, I believe that he still considers that we are married.”
Julia frowned at her friend. “Tell me, Kristina, if you feel strongly that you should leave him alone, why are you so insistent that I accompany you to meet with him? If you don’t go, perhaps he will forget about you and go home.”
Kristina didn’t answer. She merely gazed at Julia helplessly. “I think I would die if I didn’t see him. Also, he’s not happy with me.”
“Let it go, Kristina. Don’t you see that if you stay here, he may let the whole thing drop? I believe that this would be better for you.”
Kristina looked away. “I can’t.”
“He has that strong of a hold over you already?” Julia paused. She sighed. She appeared to consider several different things. “I believe I will ride out with you today.”
Kristina’s gaze leaped to Julia’s. “What? Then you’ll help me?”
“I haven’t yet decided. But I can see how important it is to you. So I will go; only this once. Also, I wish to see the two of you together.”
“Why?”
Julia flushed. She smiled and glanced down at her lap. “There’s a quality about you, Kristina, I’ve never seen in anyone before now. When I look at you, I see your love. There’s something about you lately that’s…well, it’s refreshing. And I wonder, if you feel this way, how must your Indian be responding? I suspect that he loves you to distraction, also.”
Kristina stared at her friend. “I truly hope you are correct.”
Julia smiled, her glance shooting up to her friend’s. “Have you ever thought, Kristina, that he, too, is defying his own conventions? No, I would like to see this for myself.”
“You make me feel like a carnival show.”
“I’m sorry, Kristina. I’m only curious. You have to remember, I’m in love with Kenneth. But there’s something about him that makes me unsure. I may not approve, but there is something special between you and this Indian. I can see it even when you speak to me. And I wonder, is it also here within me when I speak of Kenneth?”
“I…”
“You needn’t answer. As I said, I’m merely curious.”
The two young women scrutinized one another. It was truly a test of their friendship. And Kristina wondered yet again if she had been wise to confide in her friend. Only time would tell.
Tahiska met them as they rode out over the plains. He was mounted. He reined in his horse and waited, commanding the animal to stand still as the two women sprinted towards him.
He spared Julia only a glance as the young women drew near.
Kristina did not understand the meaning of the dance Tahiska led his pony through as his mount circled hers. He glared at her and Kristina wondered at his anger.
“What is the meaning of this?” he signed, rotating his right hand. He stared at Julia.
“I can no longer ride out on the prairie alone.”
“Does she know about us?” Tahiska continued to guide his horse through a series of circles.
“Yes,” she said in his language Tahiska set his horse toward Julia, dancing the mount around her in much the same way he had Kristina. He glared at the woman.
Several minutes passed as Tahiska reined his pony around Julia. And no matter in which direction the animal was set, the Indian never dropped his inspection of her, nor his scowl at her.
Finally he trotted his horse back to Kristina. Briefly his gaze pierced Julia’s before he reached around Kristina’s waist and heaved her onto his own mount, depositing her directly in front of him. His glance challenged Julia to do or say anything. At length he grasped the harness of Kristina’s horse and with a high yelp, dashed away.
Julia forced air back into her lungs. She couldn’t remember being more frightened in her life.
As she watched the two disappear she was sure she would never see Kristina again. She felt faint, and she was sure that had she been on the ground, her legs would not have supported her.
It was with great trepidation then that she saw the Indian speeding back toward her.
He pulled in just short of her, yelling, “Leci u wo!”
“You must follow us,” Kristina told her.
And Julia, much too stunned to do more than nod agreement, found herself speeding after the Indian, wondering if she would live to see another day.
They flew along the prairie, Tahiska and Kristina in the lead, Julia following closely behind. The sun was not yet in its zenith and the soft warmth of a summer morning hung in the air.
Tahiska stoically guarded his expression, revealing nothing, though inside he felt he was melting. And though he did not want her to know it, he wished that their ride would not soon end. He did not understand why his wife’s presence should soothe his anger and comfort his worries. And while he chided himself for what must be a weakness, he had no wish to change it.
He did not understand why she rode with her friend. Perhaps she wished to stall her fate. Did she not know that it mattered little to him who witnessed the redress he had prepared to heap upon her?
If he was stern with her, it was because it was necessary. Perhaps in the white man’s world a lie was of no account. But in his village, one’s honor, one’s whole happiness rested upon one’s truthfulness. All the Indians he knew were strictly honest. This was one of the first things he must teach her, even if the lesson was harsh.
As they neared his camp, Tahiska could feel Kristina relax. Had she noted that they had pitched their camp in a different spot? That her father’s trek into the interior of the prairie had caused them to move? He hoped that she would observe these things, for if she were to live with him, there was much for him to teach her.
They trotted the horses near to the camp and Tahiska, dismounting, quickly hobbled all three animals. He did not help either girl from her horse. He thought Kristina understood it was not his custom. So instead, he strode ahead of them, his moccasins making little if any sound.
“We have visitors,” Tahiska called out. He turned to introduce the women, but no one was to be found following. It was with no little amazement that the Indians found both girls still reclining upon their mounts. All three Indians looked to one another, each commenting upon this strange bewilderment.
It was Wahtapah who laughed. “Perhaps, my brother, your friends are not so anxious to be with you.”
“I thought to see only your wife,” Neeheeowee complained.
“She has brought her friend. I do not know why she is here, but I would ask that you entertain her while I speak with my wife. It is a matter of grave importance.”
“We have much work to do, my friend. We have no time to while away the day with a white woman,” Neeheeowee replied.
“Take pity on our love-sick brother,” Wahtapah intervened. “He has had only the one wedding night. Surely we can allow him a few moments alone with his bride.”
And while Wahtapah chuckled and Neeheeowee scowled, Tahiska turned his attention to the women. “Why do they not dismount?”
“I do not know, but we could help them, I think, and pretend we did not act as a slave to their whims,” Wahtapah reasoned.
“I believe we must.”
Both Wahtapah and Tahiska approached the women, while Neeheeowee held back.
They helped the women dismount, and Tahiska pretended he was unmoved by the feel of Kristina within his arms. He would not acknowledge these tender emotions until he had lectured her on proper conduct.
“Tell your friend to sit down,” Tahiska said in sign to Kristina when they reached the Indian camp. “My friends will watch over her while you and I talk. Though she is not welcome here, she is safe.”
Kristina nodded and smiled at Julia.
“Tahiska and I need to talk. We’ll be going only a short distance. Listen, Julia, I know you
are uncomfortable here, but you are safe. No one here will harm you. In fact, they will watch over you while you are with them. Will you stay?”
Julia merely nodded her head. In truth, since her meeting with Tahiska earlier, she was terrified. But Kristina was her closest friend at the fort, and it was because of their friendship that Julia found herself taking a seat across from the two Indians.
Wahtapah grinned at her. But Julia was panicked. She only stared back.
Tahiska led Kristina some distance away.
Kristina tried her best not to notice the virility of her husband’s body. Trailing behind him, she found it difficult to keep from admiring the little things about him that she held dear. He stood very straight and his gait was powerful, yet graceful. His movements appeared effortless, and she envied him this.
His long, black hair was flung back in the breeze and, quite beside herself, she reached out to capture a strand of it.
This drew his attention and he twisted around to glare at her.
But as if by some feminine intuition, she realized his fury was not so heartfelt. So she simply smiled at him and had the pleasure of witnessing, if only for a second, his defenses crumble.
Tahiska faced forward again. And if his gait were a little quicker, his body a little more rigid, Kristina understood why. Lost in thought, he led her quite a distance from the camp.
Tahiska perched himself on a rock near the stream they followed and, pretending indifference, he let Kristina find her own seat below him. This suited him well.
When she was finally seated, he glared down at her.
“Tell me why the white man lies.” Kristina had to look a long way up to read his signs. She held her hand over her eyes and squinted up at him.
“I do not know that I can tell you that.”
“Do you know that ‘white trader’ and ‘liar’ are synonymous in my language?”
Kristina shook her head.
“What is it about your world that begs a man to forget his honor?”
Kristina held her silence. She was sure he did not wish her to respond.
“Why did you forget your honor?”
Kristina, raised no differently from other women, was a product of her age. She was brought up believing that men really did have more rights than women. In education, he was favored. In the home, he reigned supreme. In truth, these were things upon which she did not even speculate. But there were limits to the insults a woman had to bear. And Tahiska had just crossed that line.
She rose, so as to put herself on a more equal level with him. She paced in front of him, hiding her eyes from his.
When she did finally spin toward him, her glance was filled with anger.
“You say I forgot my honor, yet I say I was not wrong to put your life above the truth, for that is how I think of it. You were already imprisoned. My father was already contemplating war. What was I to do? Give him a reason to desire your scalp?”
“Had you told the truth, we would not now be separated. While I understand it might be difficult for you, I would even now be able to hold you in my arms at night. We would live with the truth. And if the soldiers tried to take you away, I would fight them, I would hide from them. I would not let them steal you away. Do you think that I could not do this?”
“I have no doubts as to your capabilities as a warrior. But I will not sit by and allow the two men I love most to fight. And you forget again that we are not married.”
He paused, but only for a moment. “Perhaps you are right,” he signed. “I forget that you did divorce me, although you did not throw me away. Besides, I know of no man who has such troubles with his wife.” Tahiska leaped down from the rock. He towered over her. “But we leave the point! You lied!”
“And I would do it again!”
Tahiska glared down at her as though he might strike her. But Kristina was unafraid. She met his scowl with one of her own. “I will do what I think is best to protect you.”
Tahiska’s head went back as though she had slapped him. “I am not a woman that I need your protection,” he barked at her, forgetting to sign. His gaze pierced into hers. “I will not allow my wife to lie. I promise you, if you do it again, I will divorce you.”
“Divorce me? Do you forget that we are already divorced? And you are being unreasonable. I needed some explanation for staying out an entire night! What did you expect of me, if not a lie? Do not threaten me, if you feel you must divorce me for such a trifle, then do it now! I do not fear you!”
Kristina glowered at him, but inside she was trembling. Had she really just dared him to walk away from her? For that was what it meant. She might doubt their marriage, but she knew that it was real for Tahiska. If he divorced her, would he ever want to see her again?
Tahiska could not remember ever losing so much control over himself. In all things he practiced restraint. Like other Indian warriors, Tahiska limited himself to moderation. He did nothing to excess. The patience and self-control of the Indian were not inherited traits. They were skills needed for survival and were acquired only through practice.
Tahiska whirled away from Kristina. He needed to think and to regain self-control. He could do neither staring at his wife. With a steady gait, he strode away.
Kristina felt as though she might collapse. She ran a hand over her eyes wondering from where her burst of temper had come. She had no wish to estrange Tahiska. In fact, she had decided earlier that she would give him her promise of good behavior.
She watched his departing figure. If she let him go, did it mean he divorced her? Was it so easy to rid oneself of a bad situation?
Kristina snapped to. She couldn’t let him go. And while she wouldn’t admit to marriage, she didn’t want to lose him completely. It mattered little why they were quarreling if it meant she might lose him. Now that she knew him, she wasn’t sure how she could live without him.
“Tahiska!”
He faced about.
They were not close in distance, yet their eyes met and held as though they were no more than a few inches apart.
Neither could tell who made the first move. It didn’t matter. They came together, and Tahiska lifted her off her feet, twirling her around and around.
“I’m sorry,” she cried.
“Shh… I acted badly,” he told her in Lakota.
She freed her right hand to sign, “Did you divorce me?”
“No, I think I would die inside,” he signed. “Then you admit that we are married?”
“No, I…”
He laughed. “Ah, my wife,” he spoke in Lakota. “I think I will enjoy wearing your resistance down.”
They smiled at one another. It was the first tender smile they had shared since their wedding night.
“Kristina,” he muttered. “I do not wish to lose you.”
And though she couldn’t understand the words, when his lips met hers she knew he still loved her. They tasted one another in a kiss that was wild, fueled by their anger and their love.
When at last he broke off the kiss, Tahiska ran his hands furiously over her curves. “I could not leave you, Kristina. I, too, lied when I told you I could. To leave you would be as to cut off my right arm.”
“I will do my best to be truthful, Tahiska,” Kristina promised, unable to understand his words. “And I will never lie to you or betray you.”
They were both talking at once, neither understanding the other.
“I want to make love to you.” Tahiska signed this. “But I cannot. We are not alone. I fear my business at the fort has been put aside for too long. We will be unable to lie with each other again until it is finished.”
“No!”
“Unless you do not mind my cousin and friend being about, we will have to wait.”
“I…”
Tahiska brushed her hair back from her face. “It is all right. I thought you would be too shy.” He smiled at her before he kissed her again. This time the kiss was as sweet and as delightful as honey nectar.
“Come,” he gathered her in his arms. “We still need to talk.” He wouldn’t let her go. They walked back to the stream arm in arm.
“It was wrong of me to judge you.” They reclined together by the stream. Tahiska leaned back against a rock while Kristina sat between his legs. She was turned in sideways so she could see his motions. She leaned in toward him. He had given her full liberty over him and she rejoiced in the freedom to hug him or to kiss him as often as she felt inclined, which was most of the time. He didn’t seem to mind for he was able to carry on a conversation despite the distraction. “I do not understand the white man’s world. Perhaps it is not possible to be truthful in your world. But if you were ever to return with me to my village, there are some things you would need to understand.” He chuckled and swerved his head around to taste her lips. She had been teasing him as he signed, raining kisses over his cheek and neck. “The Indian strives at all times,” he continued while Kristina caressed him everywhere, “to be perfectly honest. While some things are exaggerated, the facts of a matter must be perfectly accurate or one will become the ridicule of all, never to be trusted again. Perhaps in the white man’s world it is sometimes necessary to lie. It is a trait I have found that all white men of my acquaintance possess. But not the Indian. Even in gambling one must never cheat or lie. To do so is the same as inviting great humiliation.”
“I will remember,” she signed.
He laughed. “Did you understand all that I signed?”