“You bastard!” I hissed under my breath. “I hate you!”
Mockingly, he said, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You’ll hate me more later. Just keep to your cover; we have work to do. Now eat so we can kill these guys.” With that, he slapped my butt and laughed.
I was literally trembling with fury. My pulse was off the charts and my eyes were burning in their sockets. It was all I could do to keep from blowing him up again. I’d have to thank Killian for that. He’d spent hours teaching me how to tone it down so no one would find out about my powers. They were so strongly tied to my emotions, especially anger, that I had to learn how to mask them quickly. It seemed like I spent the last year pissed off at something. It hadn’t been a good year until a few months ago, when Killian and I finally decided to leap into a real relationship. Even that cocoon of happiness was surrounded by fear, pain, and madness. Demons, zombies, and Jordan, oh my! Not to mention, my doomed pregnancy, Sean’s descent into…whatever this was, and Dec’s death. Damn. I needed a beer more than food.
Eat, Mica! Eat!
The voice startled me and I looked around expecting to see the bartender Michael again. But he wasn’t around. Sean was totally focused on the two guys in that corner booth. There wasn’t anybody else around.
You need to eat. What are you doing wasting time? Just eat it!
“Killian?” I whispered hopefully.
Not quite. The voice was amused now.
I was totally losing my mind.
“Did you just call Killian? What’s the matter? Isn’t this fun anymore? You used to love going undercover.” Sean’s expression was mocking and I really, really wanted to punch him.
“Oh, shut up and let me eat.” I turned to the bar and forced myself to eat everything on the platter. Saving the perfect berry for last, I traced the pretty shape and inhaled the fruity perfume before I took a tiny bite. Sweet and tangy juice burst over my tongue and I smiled in spite of the murderous thoughts racing through my head. It was the best thing I’d ever tasted. I must’ve moaned out loud because Sean raised an eyebrow and plucked the last of the berry from my fingers.
“Hey, that’s mine. Don’t eat that.” I reached for it and he raised it over his head daring me to lunge for it again. I made a halfhearted attempt but shrugged and gave in. He could have it. Maybe he’d get in a better mood.
Popping it into his mouth, he smacked his lips together and looked me over. “Are you feeling better yet?”
“Should I be?”
“I hope so for your sake. Shit is about to hit the fan. Just in case though…give me your hand.”
Without waiting, he took my hand and led me outside to a small storage shed behind the pub. Closing the door, he took my other hand so he was holding both of them. I dug in my heels. “Come over here, I’m not going to bite you. You need a boost.”
“Are you sure? I don’t trust you. You’re acting like a psycho. Maybe you’ll put me to sleep and leave me on a cliff somewhere to die.”
“Where do you get these ideas?”
Moving quickly, he pulled me against him and wrapped himself around me so we were connected from head to foot. Without a sound, he relaxed his body and I felt the familiar warmth surrounding me. This time though, instead of relaxing in the saol and taking comfort from it, I focused on drawing it inside of me.
“Don’t be greedy,” he murmured against the side of my head.
Suddenly I was tingling from head to toe with energy. My muscles vibrated with it and my brain felt like it was bouncing around inside my skull. I wanted to jump. I wanted to fly. I wanted to swim to Hawaii and go surfing.
“That’s enough! You’re good.” Sean carefully pulled his own saol back inside and shook his body out.
I inhaled and stretched, feeling the delicious power thrumming through my veins. Now this was better! Bouncing on the balls of my feet, I rolled my shoulders and flexed my fingers. Yep, everything seemed to work again. I was ready to kick some demon butt!
“Let’s get this over with. What’s the plan?
He studied me and seemed satisfied now. “Let’s get back to the truck. They’ll be waiting outside. I’m sure of it. I can handle Sarin. I need you to keep the other one out of it. Keep your gun on him and don’t be afraid to shoot him. Your silencer’s already on it.”
He was right, of course. As soon as we walked out of the shed, two shadows peeled away from the back of the pub. The night sky was overcast and the back of the building wasn’t lit. Inside, a rowdy band was playing to the drunken cheers of the happy customers. The sound was deafening, even out here. Privacy wasn’t a problem. Not sure what he was planning, I followed Sean’s lead but stayed by his side. My fingers curled around the grip of my Sig and I slipped it out of my purse.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the moment he slipped into soldier-mode. His eyes illuminated the night enough for me to see the brutal expression on his face. Stalking smoothly, his muscles bunched with anticipation and the air around us hummed. Waves of heat rolled off of him as he clenched and unclenched his fists.
Without warning, he launched himself directly at Sarin, hitting him in the gut before I saw him leave the ground. Moving with inhuman speed that I couldn’t track, he threw Sarin against the side of the building like a stuffed animal. Once, twice, three times he slammed him into the ground. Blood spattered the front of my dress like red mist. I was horrified and stood frozen in place until a bit of movement got my attention. Sarin’s burly partner froze in mid-stride when I turned my gun on him.
“I wouldn’t move if I were you. I have orders to shoot you,” I warned.
He was next to me so fast I only had time to squeeze the trigger. The soft pop of the silencer went unnoticed. He was a big man; not a demon, just a man. But he was well over six feet tall and strong. His face was hidden in the darkness but I caught the white gleam of his eyes just as he wrenched my arm behind my back. Crying out, I dropped the gun and stomped on my attacker’s instep and twisted away from him at the same time. My stomping didn’t hurt him, but surprised him enough for me to get free. Lunging towards me again, he wasn’t taking any chances. He had blood in his eye. With one eye on him I looked frantically for Sean and Sarin.
Sarin lay bloody and limp on the ground now but Sean picked him up and threw him again anyway. He was totally out of control. His face was a mask of rage and hate. His eyes glowed, dully highlighting the blood on his face.
“Sean! No! Stop!” I shouted while lunging for my dropped gun. My attacker threw himself on me and my head cracked against the hard pavement. Stars bounced around my vision while he stretched across me to grab the gun. I yelled, “Sean! Help me!”
Struggling to dislodge this mountain in jeans, I jammed my fingers into the junction between his neck and shoulder and pressed as hard as I could. He was running on adrenaline now and the pain wasn’t registering yet. He’d gotten the gun and had the muzzle pressed against my temple. I froze. He grinned. And then he flew backwards like he’d been hit by a missile.
I jumped up and grabbed my gun again. Where’d they go? I was shaking with my own chemical overload now and little spots danced in my vision. They were gone. Just like that. The band played on and shrill laughter trickled from the front of the building. But the only thing I heard clearly was the blood gushing through my veins. What just happened here? I made my way to Sarin and wished I hadn’t. He was a pile of mush on the pavement. As I stared, the red mush slowly turned black and drifted away. Sarin was no ordinary demon.
Jesus, Sean!
What the hell did you do?
My stomach clenched and I thought of his face…more demon than Primani. He was out of control.
The demon in question popped up next to me then. Grabbing my arm, he literally dragged me to the truck. “Head to the house. Go!”
“What did you do with that man?”
“You don’t need to know. Just get the fuck out of here! Now!”
Too panicked to argue, I drove. He vanished. Five minutes late
r, he reappeared in the truck. I was still trying not to hyperventilate, and the smell of blood wasn’t helping. I looked sideways at him. He was soaked in blood from head to toe. His eyes had stopped glowing…
Now they were black.
I bit my lip and focused on the road. Omigod! Omigod! My thoughts raced around like rats in a tunnel. What was I supposed to do now?
“What have you done?”
Sean sat with his head in his hands and said bleakly, “I’m damned. I have to disappear.”
In sheer panic, I yanked the wheel to the left and the wheels slipped on the rutted surface. The truck flipped and rolled twice before coming to rest on its roof. Glass covered everything and I tasted blood in my mouth. Sean was unconscious beside me. His head lolled to the side, blood pouring from a gash on his forehead. His nose was bleeding like a faucet. From the set of it, I’d guess it was broken, again. He wasn’t going to thank me for that.
I crawled out through the broken window only vaguely aware of pain in my ankle. To my amazement, the house was right in front of me. Thank God. Limping around to the passenger side, I crouched down to check on Sean. He was breathing but still out. With no other options, I pulled at his shoulders. He didn’t budge. I tried again. He still didn’t budge. I sank back on my heels in the dirt, my head between my knees.
Sean moaned and I held my breath again. He was still out…God only knew what other injuries he had. I sat and psyched myself up for heavy lifting. Reaching down, I got my arms under him and inched his heavy body out from the seat little by little. Panting, I sat with his head in my lap and caught my breath again. I had hoped for a burst of superwoman strength...Unwilling to give up, I managed to wrestle him out of the truck and caught him under the arms. Dragging him a few feet at a time, it took forever to get off the road and partway down the sidewalk. He finally grunted with pain and opened his eyes. His pupils were pinpoints in the blue.
“Oh, thank God! I’m so sorry! I tried to help, but you’re too heavy and I…” I babbled while he lurched to his feet. Supporting his weight, I helped him into the house where he collapsed on the couch. I collapsed next to him and panted for air.
“What happened?” he asked looking very confused. He pinched his nose to stop the blood. I grabbed a towel from the kitchen and handed it to him.
“We had an accident. The truck rolled. I’m so sorry!” I sat beside him and poked at the cut on his forehead. Maybe I could keep him distracted enough that he’d forget about leaving…and turning evil.
“You need stitches. Do you want me to stitch you up or do you want to do it yourself?” He blinked tiredly at me; his eyes were unfocused again.
“I’ll do it.” I folded the skin together and lay my hand over it. Eyes closed, concentrating completely, I worked to heal the ragged cut. I peeked to check my progress and gave him a kiss on the fresh pink skin. “There, it’s done.”
He grabbed my wrist and held me in place with a desperate strength. His eyes were wild and I cringed back. He was starting to shake and his face blanched. “Oh, God! No…tell me I didn’t…” He shook me as his memories came back and he started to panic.
Somehow I ended up straddling his lap so we were face to face, his hand wrapped around my wrist. My free hand was wrapped around his. I wasn’t taking any chances this time. He was too dangerous. I had to calm him down.
“Sean, listen to me. He was a bad guy, right? He was evil, right? You did your job, right?” The image of the blood splattering my dress made me swallow hard. The smell of it was heavy in the air around us.
Sarin’s blood, my blood, Sean’s blood.
“I went too far. I lost control. Look what I did! I can’t come back from this.” He tried to move but I pressed him down. He could’ve moved me, but he was still shaky from the accident. He was trying to get his strength back. “Michael will banish me.”
“Okay, so you overreacted. You aren’t a bad Primani. You’re the best there is! You’re legendary! It’ll be okay.”
Shaking his head, he said in a low pained groan, “No, you don’t get it. I have to go. I can’t stand this anymore.” His eyes darkened and I jerked his face to mine.
“You listen to me, Sean! I will not let you go! I don’t care what you did. I love you and I’m not letting you leave me!” With that, I kissed him, tasting blood and tears. Desperate to keep him from slipping, I held him against me and wrapped my arms around him, my fingers digging into his flesh. “You’re good, do you hear me? Good! You’re not like James! You just have to get your head together.” Crying now, I begged him, “Just talk to me, please!”
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Having no other ideas, I clung to him and pleaded with him to stay. I tried logic. I tried tears. I even tried kissing him again. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t take me with him again and wouldn’t be able to get out of my arms without flinging me into a wall. I didn’t think he’d hurt me like that, but he was ready to bolt. Finally, he cleared his throat and blew my mind.
“I have failed as your protector. You were my only charge and I failed you. First I broke all the rules by falling in love with you. Then I broke rules that no one had even written yet and transferred my powers to you. I disappeared and left you vulnerable. Because of me, you’ve been in constant danger for four years; demons, serial killers, more demons, more serial killers, and now me. I’m the biggest threat to you now.”
Stunned, I said quietly, “No, Sean…you’d never hurt me.”
Our faces were inches apart and I could see the pain in his eyes. Not caring about the consequences, I caressed his face with my palm and kissed him. At first his mouth was gentle against mine, but then he groaned and deepened the kiss. With my hair wrapped in his fist, he pulled my head back and kissed me with all the pent up pain and anger inside of him. Lights danced in my eyes and my lips were numb when he yanked his mouth away, his breathing harsh.
Bitterly, he gazed at my hand and traced the rune with the pad of his thumb. It glowed brightly and went out. His eyes went flat. “You don’t know what I’m capable of. Did you see what I did to Sarin? Did you see what I’m capable of?”
He captured my mouth in a brutal kiss that sucked away my strength and left me dazed and hurting. With an inhuman growl, he said, “You can’t trust me right now. I’m so out of control. I’ll hurt you and I won’t care.”
“Let me help you, please. I can’t stand to see you like this.”
He scowled and tensed up. “Like what? Violent? Angry?”
“I was going to say terrified. What are you afraid of? I see it in your eyes. I can feel it in the air around you. You’ve been dreaming again. You’re distracted…haunted. What’s freaking you out?”
He glared into my face and started to yank his hand away but I resisted. Instead of arguing, I just looked into his eyes and offered my own to him. Come and look, I thought. You know what’s in there. I trust you.
His face was tortured as he whispered, “I can’t remember…there’s something I need to remember, but I can’t. It’s a shadow; a half-formed thought...It’s making me crazy.”
“A dream?”
“No, it was real. I feel it. I know it was real, but I can’t see it!” He jerked his hand away and rubbed at his face. His heart was racing so fast I could feel it against me.
“Maybe I can help. We can fix this. We’ve worked miracles before. I know we can figure this out.” He was tensing against me and I was getting desperate again. “Sean, stay.”
He pushed me back and staggered to his feet. He said, “I don’t understand you at all. Why do you want to help me? You don’t owe me anything.” He turned and said brokenly, choking on the bitter words, “Jesus, Mica, our baby is dead! Our son is dead. It’s my fault. I can’t make that right. I can’t…” He sucked in a ragged breath. “I can’t look into your eyes and know that you see the ugliness inside of me. I can’t hide from you. You see too much.”
Flinching at the rawness of his voice, I took his hand again. “I love you! I’ve a
lways loved you! I would do anything for you. Damn it, Sean! It wasn’t your fault!” He pried my fingers off of his hand.
With surprising gentleness, he picked me up and carried me to my bed. I tried to struggle but a familiar paralysis seeped into my bones and I hung limply in his arms. He kissed me very carefully on the mouth and leaned his forehead against mine. The rhythm of his heart filled my head as he touched my face in silence.
His black eyes held my gaze, unfathomable in the darkness.
He was so far away from me.
My heart broke into a thousand pieces and I whispered, “No, Sean, please don’t.”
With a sigh, he said, “Don’t look for me. I don’t exist.”
Chapter 5: One Perfect Night
THE MELANCHOLY SOUND of church bells drifted through my head. They rang clearly in the misty gardens of my dreams. I tossed and turned trying to escape the fog. But it clung persistently…swirling around my ankles as I ran along the winding stone path. The dream refused to let me go. Running lightly, I shoved a branch out of my path and followed the sound until I saw it. There. That’s what I was looking for. Grey tendrils of ivy swallowed the side of the tiny stone church. It sat at the end of a narrow driveway now overgrown with summer grass. The mist swirled around the base of the church making it float above the earth. My ears rang with the calling of the bells…inside, outside, echoing and surrounding me.
They led me here.
They drove me here.
The bells called me to this place. Why? What was here for me?
The church was bare, dreary--A simple stone church. I hesitated on the front step, unsure if it was open.
“Don’t be afraid.”
A shiver crept over my skin. I knew that voice! I turned slowly, my smile only half formed; I was wary of being disappointed. So many times I looked for him…so many times he was gone. I turned with a tiny flame of hope burning in my chest. But the churchyard was empty. Disappointed, I spun around and looked everywhere.
The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) Page 75