He’d known he would die.
He’d known it for months before it happened.
He’d felt the time slipping through his hands like sand in an hourglass. He’d had dream after dream…And now he wished he’d made love to her one more time. His Mica…How would he live without her now? How could he? There was no way to live without her. Not really. He would survive, but not really live. How could he when she was his other half? He wasn’t whole without her. He was a shell.
Pulling her face to his mind again, he lovingly traced the lines of her jaw and kissed her goodbye one last time.
“I will always love you. Be well.” He hoped she’d somehow hear him.
He didn’t know how long he sat on that rock, but eventually he felt someone staring at him. Aisling stood on the shore with unreadable eyes. He stood and put his wet pants back on.
That night, he’d slept on the cabin floor. She didn’t invite him to her bed and he didn’t want to be there. More days passed and slowly they got to know each other. Aisling was reserved but kind. She knew about Mica. He told her his story just as she’d told him hers. Both had lost people they loved. Aisling tried to reassure him that after 20 years he would get over it. The words sunk like nails into his skin and he changed the subject. The only way he kept his sanity was by throwing himself into work. He hunted and fished. He made arrows and dug a well. He exercised and pushed his body to its limits. He worked each day until he was exhausted enough to sleep without nightmares.
During what seemed to be summer, the nightmares had gotten worse and he’d woken up yelling Mica’s name every night for a week. Aisling never commented but looked at him with sad eyes. Once, she knelt beside him and shook him awake, but he only moaned and turned his back on her.
It was dark when he came in from the forest. He’d gone to check their traps and brought back two rabbits. After washing up, he came through the door expecting Aisling to be cooking dinner. He stopped inside the doorway and dropped the dead rabbits in a pile. Moving slowly, awkwardly, she turned to him, a pretty blush spreading over her face. Normally she wore the ragged remains of an old red dress, but tonight she waited in a white silk slip that clung to her lithe body like skin. The fire cast its orange light across the shimmering fabric making it writhe with flame.
Swallowing hard, he stepped back and said, “What’s this?”
She smiled uncertainly at his tone. Nervously smoothing the silk, she said, “I had this on under my dress when I was scattered. It’s too delicate to wear all the time, but I thought it would be nice to put it on. It’s soft…” She looked away, blushing furiously now. Tears glittered in her eyes and she bit down on her lower lip.
Frozen in place, Sean counted to ten and tried to ignore the tightening in his gut. She looked away from him, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from her. The white silk clung to her delicate breasts dipping low to reveal the cleavage between them. Her fingers fidgeted with the hem drawing his attention to her thighs. His body reacted sharply and he tried to count to ten again.
He didn’t want this. Not from her. His mind screamed no, but his body hardened with need. He should leave. He should run but he stood frozen, staring…torn.
She turned her face towards his and tears ran down her cheek. The ice cracked. With two steps he was at her side, his hands tangled in her hair and mouth slanted over hers. With a small cry, she arched against him wrapping her arms around his neck. His hands fisted in the silk at her hips, and he slowly slid the fabric up to her waist. She was bare and taut under his hands. Aisling tugged him to the bed and smiled shyly up at him when he followed her to the mattress.
As the sky lightened to pearly pink, Sean lay on his back with Aisling curled at his side. She was sound asleep as he stared at the ceiling and asked Mica’s forgiveness.
“I’m sorry, love. I needed her. I guess we needed each other. I miss you,” he whispered into the dark.
Trembling with emotion, tears rolling down my face, I slowly pulled my mind away from Sean. We could stop now. We’d found the hidden memories. They ended with that day. We’d brought Sean back that same day. Aisling would’ve woken up alone; scared, confused, and alone.
My God, what have we done?
Sean’s face was white.
He scrubbed a hand over his eyes and said, “How could I have forgotten her? What kind of animal am I? She’s all alone there!” He started to jump up when Killian stopped him.
“We’ll find her. I promise.”
“I’m so sorry, Sean. I had no idea,” I said through fresh tears.
He pressed me against his chest and rubbed my back like he’d done a million times before. “Well, at least I can understand what happened between you two. I guess you felt the same way.”
Killian squeezed his shoulder and said, “I tried to tell you last year but you wouldn’t listen. Mica was a shadow…It was killing me to watch her shut down, close herself off, day after day. I just wanted her to smile again. I think you can understand that now.”
Giving me a final pat on the back, Sean set me away from him and stood up. “This blows. We’ve got to figure this out. I can’t live here knowing she’s stuck there for eternity. What can we do?”
The sun beat down on Central Park and I turned my face to enjoy its warmth. Fall was here with a vengeance today. Even though it was still early in September, a cold front swept down from Canada last night and it was chilly. After this morning’s intervention with Sean, we decided to regroup and make some plans. I should say, Killian decided to regroup and make some plans. I wasn’t privy to everything so I was currently sulking on a park bench with my iPod stuck in my ear. Killian grinned at me from the other end of the bench and smacked my leg for emphasis.
“You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?”
Pointing to my headphones, I shook my head and ignored him. Before I could react, he leaned across me and pulled my ear bud out. I started to protest but he put his finger over my lips and frowned down at me.
“When do we have make up sex?”
“Never! We’re not having sex ever again.” I crossed my arms and scowled.
Instead of actually believing me, he leaned closer until his mouth brushed my ear. “Really? Never is a very long time.” His voice was husky and sexy and I forced myself not to smile. He added, “Why would you punish yourself like that?”
Melting into a puddle was out of the question. Instead, I purred, “Tell me your plans and we’ll make up right now.”
Stiffening slightly, he sat back and frowned again. “Babe, I’ve told you everything you need to know. You know how this works. Need to know? Remember?”
“Why don’t I have a need to know this time? What’s the big secret? Where is Sean?” Sean had taken off as soon as they’d finished making plans.
“Sean’s gone to tie up some loose ends before we start looking for Aisling. He’ll be back here in a few days. Then we’ll be able to get moving again.”
That was one of the reasons I was so bent out of shape. Since Killian was the only one of us who had the power to cross in and out of alternate planes on purpose, they were going to go after Aisling, but I had to stay behind with Rivin. While they searched for this alternate plane, Rivin and I were supposed to work on the leads from the lab in Switzerland. Rivin had been working on this while we were dealing with Sean and now he wanted help. Killian felt I could help him better than another Primani since I had suddenly become brilliant (not buying it!), but I didn’t want to stay with Rivin. Rivin was a jerk and I didn’t trust him. I wanted to be with Killian and Sean. But that wasn’t my assignment. Ugh! Sometimes Killian was a pain in the butt.
“Hey,” he interrupted my silent tantrum, “I want this to be finished as much as you do. I want to start a life with you; a stable life with you and me and a couple of pretty babies running around. We can’t do that until we get rid of Jordan and help Sean get settled.”
“Say that again.”
Instead of repeating himsel
f, he placed his palm against my heart and kissed me long and deep under the trees. My heart thumped against his palm and he pulled back and met my gaze. “I want forever with you.”
“You’re going to make me cry,” I sniffed and wiped at the corner of my eye. “I love you so much.”
A man jogged by and whistled his appreciation and the spell was broken. Killian held out a hand to me and pulled me to my feet.
“Now can we have make up sex?”
Chapter 12: The Best Laid Plans…
“WELL? WHAT DID HE SAY?” I asked Killian.
“He’s got the car and will take it to the London safe house for me. It’ll be secure there.” He still didn’t look happy, but there wasn’t anything else he could do about it.
Killian was trying to tie up his own loose ends while Sean laced up his. He’d been trying to reach Rivin for two days and was nearly ready to strangle him when he’d finally called us. The McLaren was Killian’s baby and he was freaking out over leaving it alone in Austria. Rivin found it safe and sound in an impound lot. After paying the fine, he was on his way to London. The car would be fine. Our stuff was still in the trunk so I was relieved. I had plans for the rest of my new lingerie.
Killian was on the phone again. This time he was going over more plans with Alex. Sighing with boredom, I pulled out my own phone and stared at the dial pad. I should call my father. For one thing, they would be worried sick about me. I hadn’t talked to them in months. I’d meant to call…but something always came up and I got distracted. For another thing, I missed Domino and wanted to know she was okay. She was going to be unhappy with me; we needed to go and get her.
Killian hung up and said, “We’ve got Alex’s approval for our plans. Now we wait for Sean.” He studied my face and said, “How would you like to bring Domino to London with us?”
“Could we? Don’t we have to quarantine her?”
Shaking his head, he winked and said, “Not if she travels with me. I’ll take her to the safe house and then pick you up.”
“Would it be safe for her? I thought we were going to fly?”
He shrugged. “We can fly if you want to, but it’s a long flight and she’d have to stay in the cargo hold. It’s not great for dogs. Why don’t we just go and you can pick up some new clothes when you get settled. I don’t care either way.”
I curled up on the arm of the couch and dropped a quick kiss on his mouth just as he was about to say something else. He grinned at me and pulled me down to his lap for a longer kiss. The incessant buzzing of his cell phone separated us long enough for me to remember we were supposed to be going out for the night. He scowled as he read the text message but flashed me a quick smile before replying.
“So do you still want to go out tonight? This might be our last night alone for a while.” He was leaving it up to me.
The sun was nearly gone and the sky was purple in the twilight. Hundreds of lights winked on in the buildings around us. The brash sound of car horns drifted up from the street 18 stories below us. I was standing in the open French doors and enjoying the feel of the chilly air flowing over my bared arms. Killian came and stood with his arms around me. Our last night together…turning into his chest, I stood on my tiptoes and pulled his face down so I could see his eyes.
“I don’t want to share you with anyone tonight. Can we order dinner and stay in? It feels…important somehow.” I frowned over the last words.
Where did they come from? I hadn’t realized I was thinking that until the words came out.
He lifted an eyebrow and said, “We can do whatever you want, babe. I’m easy.”
An hour later, the doorbell sounded and Killian got up to answer the door. I followed him with my eyes. Killian had dressed in nice clothes again and I bit down a dopey grin while he watched the hotel worker lay out the food. Killian tipped the boy and shut the door. I broke into a huge smile when he caught me staring at his butt.
“Were you scoping me out just now?”
I tossed my hair and said, “Of course not. I’m used to you. You don’t impress me anymore.”
One second he was in the dining room and the next he’d scooped me into his arms and thrown me down on the bed. My head spun with the sudden movement and I broke into helpless giggles at his indignant expression.
He very seriously intoned, “Are you impressed now?”
Shaking my head and giggling, I said, “Not yet!”
“What? That didn’t impress you? You’re a hard wench to please.” He dipped his head to my neck and proceeded to leave a trail of heat down to my freshly-painted toes. By the time he started up the other side, I was beyond giggling and into begging. When I started praying, he broke down and laughed.
“Just don’t pray to Raphael. He likes you enough to show up in person.”
I pictured the shock on Raphael’s face if he saw us now…flushing bright red, I broke into giggles again. Killian leaned across me and caught my mouth with his and I stopped giggling immediately. I closed my eyes and gave up any conscious thought.
A sudden sensation of falling startled me and I opened my eyes to find a younger Killian leaning over me. His blue eyes blinked in surprise. He searched my face as if finding his prayers unexpectedly answered and lowered his mouth to kiss me again. It was him, but it wasn’t him. His mouth felt the same on mine, but tasted different. Bemused, I ran my fingers through his longer hair and felt its silkiness slide through my fingers. Running my hands over his bare shoulders, I realized he was leaner and he wasn’t wearing my pendant.
“Welcome home, Mica. I’ve missed you,” he murmured into my ear just before my vision went white and I closed my eyes against the brilliance.
When I opened my eyes again, Killian lifted his head from my shoulder and smiled wearily. “Are you impressed now?” Sweat ran down the side of his face, his heart pounded furiously against mine. The pendant lay pressed between us.
Scooting up, I put my hands on his face and turned him back and forth so I could see every detail. It was him; my Killian. Even as I had that thought, his features swam just slightly out of focus.
“Did you take me back in time?”
Confused, he leaned up on an elbow and said, “What? No. I don’t have the power to do that! You saw something. What did you see?”
“You…but not you. A younger you…”
“What was I doing?”
Unable to help myself, I laughed before I answered, “Making love to me.”
With that, he sat straight up and exclaimed, “Just now?”
“Yeah, or 3,000 years ago…I don’t know which. It’s like the dreams I’ve been having.”
“You’ve been dreaming about me?” He took my hand and said, “You should’ve told me, babe.”
“You’re scaring me now. Is this bad? What’s wrong?”
Unexpectedly, he laughed and said, “You know what? No, it’s not bad. I don’t know why I didn’t expect this to happen. Your sight is stronger than anyone I’ve ever known.” He broke into more laughter and I started to worry he’d come unhinged.
Still chuckling, he gave me a censorious look and said, “I’m not crazy. It’s funny. Don’t worry about it though. You’re probably just seeing me from the past because you’re so connected to me. Our minds are so closely linked now that it’s possible you’ve stumbled onto some old memories of mine. It seems logical that you’d have some access to the rest of me.”
“That’s just weird and not a little creepy. Come back here and distract me. The clock is ticking. Time is running out.”
He gave me an odd look but didn’t comment. Instead, he turned me onto my stomach and distracted me until I passed out.
Yawning hugely, I stuck my nose into my coffee and flipped on the morning news. Blah, blah, blah…only half-listening, I blew on the cup and managed a sip before the world came crashing down. Oh, no, no, no! Turning up the volume, I yelled for Killian and sank to the couch.
A grainy image of Sean took up the right half of the TV s
creen while a driver’s license photo of a blond woman named Christine Miller filled the left side. The newsman’s voice droned but I was too stunned to hear him. The ticker running along the bottom of the screen said the man was wanted in connection with the murder of Christine Miller.
Killian turned up the volume and the newsman’s voice bounced off the living room walls.
“Twenty-eight year old Christine Miller was found dead outside of her Brooklyn apartment building this morning. Her body was found inside a burned out Honda Accord registered to Ms. Miller. An official autopsy is scheduled. In the meantime, witnesses and traffic cameras place this unidentified male at the scene. Police are searching door to door. He is considered armed and dangerous.” He continued after that but Killian turned the volume off and stared at the screen in shock.
“No, this can’t be happening. Not now! Sean wouldn’t do that! There’s no way he’d just go out and kill some random woman.” My voice rose with every word until I was shouting.
“Christine Miller…Miller?” Killian stared and muttered to himself while I jumped up and ranted some more.
Finally he turned to me and said, “It wasn’t random. He was hunting her.”
“What!!??”
He rubbed his eyes and grimaced at me. “Christine Miller was on his list. Sean and Dec always kept a list. It had people on it that had gotten away with doing atrocious things, usually involving kids. Those two had a soft spot for little kids. When someone got away with killing a kid, they put the name on the list. When no one was paying attention, they’d track them down and eliminate them. They felt it kept their karma balanced.” He shrugged and said, “She was one of his loose ends.”
I sat and put my head in my hands to stop the spinning. A list? How did I not know about this? This was a huge secret to keep.
The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) Page 85