“What’s the deal with you two now? Are things getting serious?” he asked. His tone was more curious than concerned.
“I think serious is an understatement, Dec.”
I closed my eyes and brought Killian’s face into my mind. The image was so vivid, so real, I could practically reach out and touch the rough black stubble on his jawline. His eyes looked into mine with such commitment and love…his fingers held my wrist aloft over the stone altar…binding our blood, infusing me with his strength, his powers, his essence.
Saving me, protecting me.
I remembered our hands joined with the lightning cracking between us, through us…working as one, destroying the zombies, preserving life for a little while longer. Were we serious? I couldn’t imagine anything more so.
“What does that mean, Mica?” His voice was more than curious now. He dragged out the words like he knew something I didn’t and wanted me to figure it out.
“You never call me ‘Mica.’ What gives?”
His eyes cut sideways to me and he adjusted the defroster and the windshield wipers.
“Darlin’, you know I only have your best interests at heart, right?”
I nodded with an annoyed sigh. It was really a little too late to have the Killian’s-not-right-for-you talk. That ship sailed a long time ago.
“Dec, I swear I’m going to hurt you!” I halfheartedly squeezed his knee, making him twitch and grimace. “Listen, you nosy back-from-the-dead angel, I know you’ve missed a lot, but he’s amazing. I can’t imagine my life without him.”
Even as I said the words the vision washed over me like a gentle rain.
Soft and warm…cleansing me, lulling me...
Watching from above, I saw myself standing next to Killian, a much younger Killian, his strong hand splayed over my rounded belly. His eyes glowed with pride as he smiled into mine. I laughed into his face and he kissed my mouth. It was a poignant moment, almost too intimate to watch. Even though I was as substantial as a shadow, his head snapped up, eyes pinning me in place. He didn’t say a word but I felt his despair like a knife to my heart. With both eyes resting on my shadow, he placed a tender kiss on the baby stretching languidly inside of me.
The room wavered and I clutched at the ceiling. No! Not yet.
Reaching a hand towards me, he said, “Stay with me!”
My eyes met his and I felt the tug on my heart. Nearly impossible to resist, the urge to stay beside him, to touch him, drew me closer. He stretched his hand outward and I leaned in.
His voice compelled me to reach out to him when he whispered again, “Stay.”
In a second, I was nearer still and our fingers were almost touching. He encouraged me with a smile, his eyes steady on my own. They reflected nothing but love. My vision shrank until there was nothing but him.
“Hey!” The shout and Dec’s rough grip on my bicep brought me careening back into my body as the truck slid into a guardrail.
“What the hell are you doing?” Dec was horrified and looking at me like I’d just grown another head.
Blinking awake, I said, “What’s wrong?”
“You tell me! What were you doing?”
Good question. My brain felt like tissue paper…
“I…had a vision.” It pulled on me still. When I closed my eyes, I saw Killian’s hand reaching for me, heard his voice asking me to stay. No, pleading with me to stay.
“Damn it! Stop that!” Dec was officially freaked out and yelling.
I blinked at him and forced my eyes to clear but not fast enough for him. He shook me hard and scowled into my face.
“I’m not letting go of you! Do not, repeat, do not fade again.” His eyes blazed on low as he peered into mine. Apparently deciding that freezing rain would wake me up, he pulled me out of the SUV to the shoulder of the road.
“Dec, you’re scaring me here. What--”
My words were cut off by Killian’s appearance next to us. As soon as he was solid, he took my hands from Dec. He seemed worried but not especially hysterical so I relaxed. He didn’t let go of my hands though.
Dec filled him in with the same tone he’d use to describe a 100-car pileup on the freeway. All drama and awe at the massive amount of twisted metal and dead bodies.
“I’m fine. You’re way overreacting. Nothing’s wrong with me.” I held up a hand and wiggled it. “Look, I’m solid.”
Killian studied the ground. Without any other explanation, he caught Dec’s shoulder and hissed, “Get this done and get back.”
Turning to me, he pulled me tightly against him and took my chin in his fingers. Our faces were so close I felt the warmth of his breath against my skin. He caressed my cheek with his lips. His words were so soft they were barely a whisper inside my head.
I need you, Princess. I need you here.
Then he was gone. Poof. Leaving me stunned on the side of the highway with traffic zooming past. Without warning, lightning crashed in the forest behind us and rain came down in sheets.
The road trip from hell was over. Dec knew exactly where the cabin was and had painstakingly navigated the snowy roads to get us this close. Like all Primani, he had a photographic memory. Before we left, he’d studied the map and memorized the two best routes to get here. Plan A and Plan B. That was another one of Killian’s op rules. Never leave without a backup plan. Bad stuff happened all the time and we weren’t allowed to go into any op without a Plan B. Unfortunately, all plans required us to four-wheel it into the mountains.
This was not a good time.
The road was so deeply rutted the truck lurched violently from side to side. Tree branches scraped like fingernails along the side of my window. I winced as my elbow banged into the door handle. My seatbelt went on high alert and practically sawed me in half when I went airborne. Up ahead the road dipped, showing a small lake pooling on top of it. The rain was still coming down and mixed with the heavy snow it blanketed the woods. Everything was a brown, nasty mess.
Dec took his time meandering close enough for easy access and finally parked about a half mile south of her place.
“This rain sucks. What is it doing raining in the middle of December? This is New York not England. This is crap.” I was going to bitch until I felt better.
It hadn’t been a great trip so far. The lingering weight of Killian’s sadness sat like an elephant on my chest and I had no idea what was up. As soon as we got back into the truck, Dec immediately cranked up the stereo and kept the volume high enough to prevent me from dozing off or relaxing at all. As a result, my neck was tense and I had a dull headache. I’d asked him to turn it down and he looked at me and just shook his head.
“Not gonna happen.”
So now it was time to work some magic and I forced myself to shove thoughts of Killian into a box for later retrieval.
Dec drummed his fingers on the steering wheel while I plugged into my remote viewing skills to search for signs of human life. As my vision traveled farther away from us, I relaxed into the seat. Searching, searching…there were deer and chipmunks…a feral cat…but nothing human.
“It’s clear,” I said.
“Great. Be right back.”
While he was gone, I studied the forest around us. The woods were heavy with underbrush here. I imagined they were nearly impenetrable when strangled by summer growth. The tangled dead branches and clumps of brown leaves fed my imagination so I could clearly see it. Yep, in the summer, this place would be one huge brush pile. Probably be covered in poison ivy too. I was soooo glad we didn’t have to hike through it today. Even though it was afternoon, the light was dim and slightly creepy. I checked my watch. Dec had been gone for 15 minutes. Any minute, he’d be back.
On cue, he rematerialized a second later, his face flushed with excitement and dripping with rain.
“Holy shit, it’s wet out there!” He rubbed his face with my dry hoodie and grinned at my annoyance. “Get over it, love.”
“Soooo…?”
“All
done. I set up the cameras in each room inside and another one on the outside of the front door. It’s facing the parking spot out front. We’ll be able to see when she pulls up and whatever she’s doing inside.”
I tapped an app on my cell phone and waited for the images to clear. By clicking on each of the camera icons, I could see real-time video feeds. The small cabin was furnished with minimal fuss. From the living room camera, I could see a simple couch and coffee table. A single mug sat tilted on a jumbled pile of magazines. A notebook sat next to the remote control for a small television. I pressed the icon for the bedroom camera. Again, minimal furniture and personal things.
Two overstuffed suitcases stood by the bedroom door and a smaller one lay open on a dresser.
“She’s not planning to stay,” I commented.
“Yeah, I noticed that. It’s been months though. What is she waiting for?”
“You tell me. You’ve got the superpowers.”
He lifted an eyebrow and frowned sourly. “If only it were that easy.”
He turned to me and started to say something but then stopped. His expression was completely unreadable. It wasn’t like him to be this serious or this quiet. He’d been different since he came back to us. He’d changed.
Trying to lighten the mood, I held my palm up and he placed his against mine and we both watched as they began to glow at the fingers. The trail of light snaked up our arms and I guided it towards our hearts and smiled as Dec’s grin spread. We’d played this game a million times on stakeouts where no one could see us. Sharing our saols, our warmth; just playing games with each other like little kids. Dec said it was good training for me to learn how to direct the energy. I had to decide where to focus it and push it where I wanted it to go. It had been good training for me, true, but I secretly believed he just liked the way it felt. It was the best kind of buzz you could get without doing jail time. Now, I grinned as he took over and guided the energy away from my heart and into my face. The sudden rush of warmth in my cheeks made me burst out laughing and the spell was broken.
“Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about. You look happy, darlin’.”
“That’s because I am. I’ll be delirious when we’ve got Sean back.”
“Do you ever miss your old life? You should’ve gone to college and gotten a job someplace.”
Did I miss that? Nope, not so much.
Tracing the tan line on his wrist, I swore, “I don’t ever want a life without you guys in it. I can’t even imagine the emptiness. How about you? Do you ever miss your old life? Circa 420 A.D.?”
Snorting water out of his nose, he went from laughing to coughing and back to laughing again. He tossed the empty bottle into the back seat and said, “It’s been a very, very long time since I left my old life. Sometimes I miss it…people in it. People who’ve been dead and dust for too long to mourn.”
I wondered who he was thinking about. He never talked about his past. Not once, not ever. I’d asked him before and he’d always changed the subject or given me a non-answer. I knew so little about him really. I trusted Raphael recruited him for a reason though. Raphael’s Primani were picked for their warrior skills and their character. Dec had unique healing skills as well. The fact that he smiled more than most Primani was a bonus for the ladies.
“Something happened when you were with Michael. Tell me why you’re different.”
He shifted his weight and peered off into the trees for a minute, getting his bearings and watching the rain settle on the branches. After checking the camera feeds on his own cell, he began to talk.
“It’s not a long story, love. When Raphael yanked me out of the tunnels, I ended up in Heaven. It was just a room, really, but I know it was Heaven because of the overwhelming peacefulness that wrapped around me. Heaven is way cool.”
Good to know.
“As soon as I woke up, Raphael was there to help.” He smiled a little and winked at me. “You know how he is; he was uber-nice and as proper as always. As I blinked up at him, I realized I didn’t want to keep living. I wanted to keep dying.”
“Why would you say that?” I was horrified that he’d even think about that.
“Well, while I was quote ‘dead,’ I saw someone who’d left me so long ago I’d lost her memory. She’s still dead, of course, but her soul is in Heaven. I could see her again if I just let myself go.”
“It was tempting to go to her and spent eternity in the light instead of battling demons in the dark.”
“What did Raphael say?” I asked.
“Well, that’s the funny part. He shrugged and said he’d leave it up to me. He patted my shoulder and walked away. I lay there in the half-light of the room and wondered why he gave me a choice. I spent weeks wondering why I had a choice. Staring at the ceiling and wondering why. I didn’t even think about her at all; I was too stuck on having the option to give up. Was there a catch?”
“Obviously you decided to stay. Why?”
Shifting awkwardly in his seat, he said, “I realized I had a new family that needed me more than my old one. They were all dead and at peace. I couldn’t do anything for them. But you? And Killian? And Sean? I’m not trying to be arrogant, but you all need me. We’re connected, and not just by Raphael’s blood.”
Lifting my locket, I took it off and opened it up. The four drops of golden blood were still there inside the tiny circles. He touched it with his fingertip and it flashed delicately in recognition. He closed it and slipped it over my head again.
“Blood calls to blood,” I murmured.
He nodded at my perception and continued. “When Raphael came again, Michael was with him. I hadn’t told him my decision, but he already knew it. Of course, he already knew it, right? Michael came to heal me. Me! Just another Primani…” He grinned and added, “Dude, I almost died for real when he showed up! I was shaking so hard my teeth hurt.”
Yeah, totally knew how that felt! Michael scared the bejesus out of me too.
“But he just looked down at me and told me to relax and the next thing I knew I was completely healed and dressed in clean clothes. I don’t know what he did to me…I was asleep for months I think. An interesting side effect is the lingering memories of my family. I’d forgotten them for so long, and now they drift with me all the time. I don’t regret my choice, but I’m learning to let them go all over again. It hurts.”
He wasn’t crying but his voice had a sadness to it that squeezed my heart. I hugged him and he didn’t resist the comfort.
“I’m so glad you came back to us.”
We sat there and recharged our emotional batteries while the rain pattered on the roof.
An abrupt beep had both of us checking our phones. Ah, ha! There she was! The woman was back. Her grey pickup truck was now parked in front of the cabin. I checked the outside feed and watched her get out and run up the steps. Her face was covered by a hood though. We needed a full face shot so there was no doubt.
She stopped just inside the door and peeled off her wet shoes and coat. Still looking away from the camera, she made her way to the tiny kitchen and turned her back to make some coffee. The back of her head looked right, but we needed the face.
Dec snorted and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. “Come on, you hateful witch. Turn around so we can fry you.”
“Dec! You heard Killian! We’re not killing her!”
“Dude, relax. That’s not what I meant.”
He wagged his head like I was the crazy one.
Both of us were leaning so close to our screens we kept fogging them up. I tried not to roll my eyes when she went to the bathroom and closed the door.
Oh, for crying out loud.
That reminded me. “I have to pee.”
“TMI. Totally TMI. I’ll watch. You find a bush.”
After dropping stiffly out of the truck, I carefully picked my way to the back. The mud sucked at my combat boots making them squelch. Ewww. I lifted my foot and two inches of brown gunk clung to the sole. The earth
y smell of dead leaves and dirt battled with the delicate scent of rain and pine trees. I took a deep breath. All in all, it could be worse.
I kept up a silent prayer in my head. Oh, please don’t let me slip.
The image of lying flat on my back in this mud was too embarrassing to bear. I slowed my steps even more. I would never live it down. It was still raining and I was trying to pee as fast as possible without drowning or peeing on my leg. As I squinted into the woods, I had an idea.
“More coffee?” the waitress asked Dec.
“No thanks, love. I’m good for now.”
Looking disappointed, she sauntered away, ample hips swaying with invitation.
I wanted a refill, but I guess I was still invisible. Dec shrugged and pushed his still-full cup of caffeinated goodness across the plastic tablecloth. It was fully dark outside and cold again. I was still shivering and wrapped my fingers around the cup. We’d gotten footage of our target and retreated to this truck stop. It was warm and pleasantly crowded with country people who just wanted some comfort food. No one paid any attention to us despite our wet clothes and my mop of hair. I’d finally coaxed it into a heavy braid but it was springing out in rogue curls. I was pretty sure we looked like a couple of homeless people, but no one seemed to notice.
Dec shoveled a huge forkful of mashed potatoes and gravy into his already-full mouth. His eyes creased in ecstasy and he chewed and swallowed. Another forkful followed that. A healthy gulp of water and more potatoes; a pattern was taking form.
“Can you breathe?” I teased. I was trying to mainline the vegetable soup but it was nuclear hot. The best I could do was blow on a spoonful at a time. My stomach howled in protest. Out of nowhere, a hot buttery roll landed on my plate.
“Here you go, hon. Let me know if you need anything else.”
“I love that woman,” I managed around a mouthful of yeasty goodness. Butter coated my finger and I popped it into my mouth.
“Why don’t you make meatloaf like this? This is ridiculous!” His eyes were closed in bliss again.
Waving my spoon, I countered, “This is definitely not on your list of healthy food.”
The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) Page 93