by Olivia Dade
Her hands trembled at the rush of relief she felt at his words. Those five syllables washed away the misery of the past twenty-four hours in an overwhelming flood of joy, leaving her giddy and disoriented. Good thing I’m not standing, she thought. My legs would have collapsed beneath me by this point.
“I’ll always love you. I wasn’t sure you’d take me back after what I said and did, though.” He studied her face carefully. “Angie, tell me the truth. Did I hurt you when we made love yesterday at Battlefield?”
“No,” she said, turning her hand over to clasp his.
“Because I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I did.”
“You’d never hurt me that way, Grant. I know that like I know my own name.”
He cupped her cheek with his free hand, and she leaned into it with a sigh, closing her eyes at the comfort and pleasure of his touch.
“Then why were you crying afterward?” he asked. His thumb stroked her cheek, as if attempting to wipe away yesterday’s tears.
She kept her eyes shut. “That time felt . . . different. Like I’d become just a fuck to you, instead of someone you cared about. You were so angry and disappointed with me. I was sure it was our last time. So I thought our final time together would be that, rather than”—her voice broke, and she couldn’t prevent tears from slipping out from behind her closed eyelids—“w-what we’d had. And it b-broke my heart.”
Grant leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. “I was angry when we made love,” he admitted. “I can’t deny it. But I didn’t stop loving you. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. Which I don’t.”
He gave her fingers an emphatic squeeze. “And you couldn’t disappoint me if you tried, so put that fear out of your mind. Don’t cry. Please. Not because of me.”
“C-clearly, if I had a choice in the matter, I wouldn’t be doing it.” She sniffled.
“Good point. I hereby retract my request. Cry as much as you need to,” he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. He gently unclasped their hands so he could brush away the tears from both her cheeks. When he’d finished, he pressed a tender kiss on each tired eyelid.
“I’m sorry I didn’t react better to finding out about the contest,” he told her. “You were right. I was an enormous hypocrite when I criticized your recklessness. And I’m still not thrilled that you lied to me, but I understand why. I know you were trying to protect both of us, not only yourself.”
Angie took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to control her tears. “I hated lying to you, but I couldn’t see a good choice other than quitting. And I wasn’t ready to do that.”
“Until today. For my sake. So I could keep my job.”
“Until today,” she echoed.
“Because you love me?” he asked.
“Because I love you. Because I’ll never stop loving you.”
He exhaled slowly. “Thank God.” His arms reached toward her, and then he froze in place. “Shit. I can’t hold you. I don’t want to give Tina an excuse to fire us.”
“I think a hug is acceptable, as long as you keep your hands above the waist,” she said. “And away from the boobs, obviously.”
He drew her into his arms without another word, settling her on his lap and gently guiding her head into the crook of his shoulder. “Did I upset you when we talked about changing how you make decisions at work? After that, you seemed . . . troubled. Even before we had our argument.”
She pressed a kiss to his neck. “Not upset. Only trying to evaluate how much I could change without fundamentally betraying myself. By Valentine’s Day, I’d already decided you were right. I don’t need to transform myself to make better decisions. I just need to consult more than my instincts when I’m deciding what to do. My love for my job is a legitimate, important part of me, and I need to take it into account. As long as my decisions don’t make that job boring to me, I can compromise a bit.”
She rubbed her nose below his chin, wanting to feel the rasp of the little hairs he’d missed while shaving that morning. The gentle abrasion confirmed what she was still struggling to believe: She wasn’t dreaming. Grant loved her. She might find a way to keep her job. Thank God. Thank God.
“Hiding the sex-scene contest from you also made me anxious,” she added. “You’re a smart man, and you were spending hours a day at Battlefield with me. Which I enjoyed, obviously. But the stress was starting to get to me.”
His lips brushed the top of her head as his broad hand made soothing circles on her back. “I can see how all that might prove draining. Angie . . .”
“Yes?”
“Am I . . . enough . . . for you?” he asked. “Are you sure you don’t want someone more dashing? Bolder? Because I don’t know how much I can change. Most of the time, I’m awkward and cautious and prone to making weighted decision charts. Like I said before, a woman like you deserves someone more . . .” He trailed off. “More. A woman like you deserves someone more.”
She tickled him in his ribs, and he wiggled. “Sweet pea, that’s ridiculous. You’re the best man I’ve ever known. I love you. I don’t want you to change. I don’t want more. I want you.”
His shoulder relaxed under her cheek, and his frame seemed to melt into hers at the words. She bore his weight gladly.
“Thank goodness,” he murmured into her hair.
After a minute, she sat up and moved into her own seat, swiping away the last traces of wetness from beneath her eyes. “Enough cuddling. We have plenty of time to hold each other after work. Now we need a plan of action.”
“Let’s do it,” he agreed. “Team Grangie for the win.”
She wrinkled her nose. “That’s a sucky combination of our names. Makes us sound like a disease you get when you don’t bathe enough. How about Team Ang . . . ant?” She paused. “Okay, I see your point. Team Ant bites too.”
He laughed. “Some species, at least.”
“Fine. Team Grangie it is.” She stared suspiciously at him. “You’re not going to have me draw up a weighted decision chart, are you? Because I’ll make you pay, Grant. I mean it.”
He stopped in the middle of drawing a grid. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Fine,” he said, scratching through the chart. “As long as we use our heads, as well as our gurts.”
“Agreed.”
He leaned forward and placed one last smacking kiss on her lips. “Then let’s get started, woman. We have work to do.”
Thirty minutes later, Tina finished listening to their plan.
“I understand what you’re proposing. Give me a few moments to think about it,” she said.
She looked at her notes, pushing a wayward strand of her gray hair behind her ear again.
Angie and Grant sat tense and braced for her verdict. For a long minute, Tina remained silent, and Angie could barely keep herself from shaking the other woman’s response out of her. As if reading Angie’s thoughts, Grant placed a gentle but quelling hand on her knee under the table.
She slanted him a speaking glance. I wasn’t going to spring up from the table and tackle her, for God’s sake.
He squeezed her knee, his lips quirking. You wanted to, his raised eyebrows seemed to say.
She rolled her eyes and turned back to Tina with an annoyed huff.
Tina pursed her lips and tapped her pen against her notepad. “Okay,” she finally said. “I’ll bite. You have a month to prove yourselves. We’ll meet again in the middle of March to evaluate the success of your plan.”
She pushed her glasses up on her nose and rose to her feet. “Make me a believer. If you do, both of you can keep your jobs.”
“Thank you, Tina,” Angie said. “I mean it. Your faith means the world to me.”
“We appreciate your giving us this chance,” Grant said.
“I expect an invitation to the wedding,” Tina said. “And you should strongly consider naming a daughter Martina.”
Angie choked a little, and he patted her on the back as
she coughed.
“That’s your real name?” Grant asked Tina, sounding unconcerned by the prospect of marriage and children with the woman sitting next to him.
“Yes. Alternatively, the male form of my name is Martin. Either option is acceptable to me.”
Tina swept out of the room, leaving the door wide open behind her.
Holy shit. I get to keep my job and my man. How the fuck did that happen?
“I can’t believe it,” Angie said, dazed by her good fortune. “Jack’s totally going to make me the heroine of his next novel. Penny promised.”
“Huh?” Grant asked.
“She said if I survived this situation and managed to keep both my sanity and my job, she’d convince her boyfriend to make me the heroine of his next book. I’m going to make her keep that promise.”
“Angela Burrowes, literary role model,” Grant said. “God help us all.”
Tina unexpectedly poked her head around the door, making both of them jump in surprise.
“Reunion’s over, people,” she told them. “Get back to work.”
Grant took her hand, and they both headed toward Tina.
“Our pleasure,” Angie said.
Tina narrowed her eyes.
Angie added, “But not that kind.”
“A month,” Tina reminded them. “Use it wisely.”
For once in my life, Angie thought, I will. Just watch me.
28
One month later, Tina stood in front of the brand-new section of the Battlefield Library. Her loafers seemed stuck to the floor. “I’m afraid to go in,” she said.
Angie laughed. “You’re my supervisor. I got your approval for each step of the renovations. Nothing at this grand opening should come as a surprise to you.”
“In theory, that’s true,” Tina said. “But we’re talking about you, my dear. Surprises are your trademark.”
Angie gazed in excitement at the sign she’d recently installed. It gleamed beside the curtain-covered entrance to the former meeting space, looking so official she could hardly stand it. ADULT READING ROOM, the sign read. YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO ENTER. SPACE MONITORED BY SECURITY CAMERAS. Inside the shelf-lined room, Angie had created a fantastic display, full of her favorite erotica. This month, as urged by Brenda, she’d chosen to feature dominatrix books. All her favorites sat propped on stands, ready for her patrons to discover them. Whip It Real Good by Deva. Up the Creek with a Paddle, which featured erotic camping stories. Of Superhuman Bondage, which explored the sex lives of kink-loving superheroes.
With Tina’s permission, she’d used her discretionary funds from book sales to pay for the room’s transformation. Together, the two women had discussed and agreed on plans for this one-of-a-kind space in the Nice County Public Library system. Tina had consulted with her about the new shelving units for the walls, as well as the erotica collection Angie had installed on those shelves. She’d also approved the various parts of the display before Angie had put them all together. Today would be the first time Tina saw the finished product, though. Angie couldn’t wait to show her.
Grant had given advice when asked, but mostly just offered his support to Angie on a personal level. It made sense. Professionally, the adult reading room no longer fell under his jurisdiction. Angie knew that made him happy for a variety of reasons. Even apart from the impossibility of supervising someone with whom he had an intimate relationship, the other branches kept him plenty busy.
The month-long experiment of having Tina—rather than the director of branch services, aka Angie’s lover—directly supervise her had proven unexpectedly successful. Angie trusted Tina, and the older woman had taken an active mentoring role with her employee. The near-firing experience had brought them to a better understanding of each other. Tina tried to make the library rules work for Angie as much as she could. In return, Angie tried to follow those rules to the best of her ability. If a stricture chafed too much, the two women talked it out and attempted to come to an agreement.
So far, Angie didn’t feel like she’d betrayed herself. And Tina didn’t feel like Angie had betrayed the library. Win-win. Angie’s favorite outcome.
She absently fiddled with the bold emerald necklace she wore every day, enjoying the sight of the gathering crowd. So many people had already arrived for the celebration. More than she’d even hoped, actually. Some of them simply wanted to witness the novelty of a smut-filled room at the library, of course, but others had come for her alone.
She was loved. Appreciated. Understood. And the beauty of it almost overwhelmed her.
A gentle hand brushed her arm, and she turned to see Grant. With a smile of delighted surprise, she gave him a big hug. He folded his arms around her, squeezing briefly before letting her go. Then he glanced worriedly at Tina, who shook her head in feigned disgust.
“You came!” Angie said. “I thought you had to take your dad to the doctor this afternoon.”
“We’re taking him next week, so I got my brother to cover today’s appointment. I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” he said. “Vix is running late, but she and little Angela will arrive in a few minutes too.”
“You didn’t tell me she was coming,” Angie scolded Grant. “I’d have brought a present for Angela.”
Grant’s lips quirked. “I thought your niece could make do with only a couple hundred books by the age of three months.” His gaze tracked the substantial group of people surrounding them. “Nice crowd, Branch Manager Burrowes.”
A throng of people lingered and chatted nearby the room, including most of Angie’s favorite patrons. The trays of food Angie had set out earlier in the day had already half disappeared, and the plastic goblets of sparkling cider were running low.
Brenda appeared by Angie’s side, towing a reluctant-looking Jack with one hand. “Angie, I wanted you to be the fifth to know,” she said. “After me, Carl, Jack, and darling Penny.”
“Don’t tell me you’re pregnant,” Angie said. “Didn’t we have the birth control talk just a few months ago?”
Brenda laughed. “No. This is much better than having a baby.”
“I don’t know whether to feel relieved or offended,” Jack muttered.
“I wrote a longer version of Fan/Domme,” Brenda said. “And then I started submitting it to different editors. Angie, it’s going to be published!”
Angie scooped Brenda into a tight embrace, squealing with delight. “We’ll have to plan an author signing! With themed snacks! And props!”
Jack stared at Angie with horror until Penny came up and hooked her arm through his. Then he turned to his fiancée and bent down to give her a tender kiss on her cheek, his face lighting up as it always did in her presence.
“Am I going to have to work this into my next novel too?” he asked her.
“Yup.”
“You’ll owe me,” he told her, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
“I’m sure you’ll find a suitable way for me to pay the debt, my dear Mr. Rochester,” Penny said demurely.
“I’m trying to figure out what props we’ll need for the signing,” Angie said, tapping her finger against her chin in contemplation. “We already have a whip from the New Year’s Eve event. I’m sure I can pull together other items that’ll work.”
Tina intervened. “We’ll discuss this more when the time comes,” she told Angie. Then she swiveled and smiled at Brenda. “But we’re glad the story you wrote for the library helped launch your career.”
Brenda’s face turned serious as she spoke to Tina. “I have Angie to thank for my new husband and my new career. As a token of my gratitude, I’ll be donating any proceeds from my book to the Battlefield Library.”
Angie gasped. “Brenda, no! I appreciate the thought, but you earned that money.”
Brenda patted her on the cheek. “I want you to have it. You’re a wonderful young woman. Loving and exuberant. I’m excited to see what you could do with a little more money here.”
A faint groan came from
somewhere near Angie. She turned to stare suspiciously at Tina.
Penny detached herself from Jack and gave Angie a pair of scissors. “It’s two o’clock on the dot. Time to cut the ribbon.”
As Angie prepared to slice through the silk ribbon spanning the doorway to the reading room, a flash went off behind her. Looking over her shoulder, she saw that Grant had produced a camera from somewhere.
“I’m documenting this for posterity,” he said. “I’m so proud of you, Angie.”
Blinking back tears, she cut through the ribbon and stepped to the side. Tina and the crowd of patrons pushed aside the curtain and began to file into the room. She could hear gasps and laughter.
“There be pirate smut! Crikey!” Clarence shouted, his voice muffled by the fabric covering the door.
“Thanks for the books with girl-on-girl action, Angie!” Yolanda called out.
Angie beamed at Grant, who snapped another shot of her.
Tina’s head peeked around the edge of the curtain. “Good work, Burrowes,” she said with a smile. Then she disappeared back inside.
“You know, this reminds me of those old video rental places,” Grant said, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to his warm, strong body. “They always stored all the really naughty stuff behind the curtain.”
“Thank you!” Angie turned to him, delighted by his insight. “That’s precisely what I wanted to mimic. The allure of the forbidden, you know.”
“I do know about the allure of the forbidden,” he said, and cupped her face. “I’m just glad you didn’t stay forbidden.”
“Wouldn’t have mattered,” Angie said confidently. “You’d have come after me anyway. You did come after me. I’m yours, sweet pea.”
He smiled down at her, and her heart turned over. The affection and warmth on his face and in his blue, blue eyes . . . it still stunned her. Still made each morning she woke by his side an occasion for joy. Still made her cry with happiness when she thought about it too much.
“No regrets,” he said, and brushed his lips against hers.