by J. P. Rice
“That was like five hundred years ago. Do you really think they will recognize your voice inflections now? Hasn’t your voice gotten deeper over the centuries?”
“They remembered a song they’d heard a decade ago. I’m rather certain they will recognize my voice.”
I turned to Burn. “Do you know this song?”
She shook her head in silence. Houston, we had a problem. Burn said, “We have a half-hour. Why don’t you just teach me the words?” She directed the question at me.
“I don’t know the words. But Alayna does.” I turned to my mentor. “How long is the song? Can you do that?”
“It’s only a few verses, so if her mental capacity can handle it, we should be all right.”
Burn said, “So you want to start by taking a shot at my intelligence, huh?”
And we’d reverted to attacking each other. The tense travels had kept us on edge. But we needed to focus right now.
I raised my voice, “Ladies. Ladies, the clock is ticking on our demise by horse stomping. We are all tired, worn out and ready to give up, but I for one, don’t intend to go out like this. If we could put the bickering aside for just another twenty-five minutes, we can argue all we want after that. You two can even gang up on me again if you want.”
The women calmed down and Alayna started teaching Burn the words to the song. I reflected on this strange land. Fencester wanted sex, the Sphinx wanted somebody to love her, the grootslangs wanted gold and the Rosendales wanted to hear a song. Hail Rosendales. Great, now that was stuck in my head.
Jonathan was absolutely right about how a plan could go awry in this land.
I tried to stay out of the music lesson, but it was starting to get testy.
Burn bellowed, “Stop yelling at me. I’m learning as fast as I can.”
“The way you speak sometimes, I thought you were intelligent,” said Alayna.
Burn’s brown irises were replaced with the flames of fire. She growled, “I am. It’s just a little different trying to learn something with a time limit that will result in death. Kind of ratchets up the pressure.”
Alayna nodded and bit her bottom lip, seemingly realizing she was wrong. My mentor was a taskmaster. She’d been hard on me, and at the time I’d hated it, but now I realized why. It had made me a much stronger person and wizard. She could be a bit much at times, and I imagined Burn was getting a heavy taste of that.
Alayna was a strict disciplinarian and she’d become easily frustrated with me at times. I added in the threat of death, her injuries and the fact that she had almost died about an hour ago. That helped me understand her frustration even more.
All three of us had been getting dangerously close to the edge the entire trip and it seemed to be bubbling over the sides of the cauldron now. We’d blown up on each other, but had always forgotten soon after. Now we were experiencing the accumulation of all the fighting. Any little comment could ignite a hidden tinderbox.
I’d often thought about death. It was impossible not to in this line of work. Of all the crazy ways my mind had envisaged the ultimate ending, getting stomped by armored horses carrying headless riders was not one of them.
The centaur climbed up the incline and said, “Ten minutes left.”
I began to think that this wasn’t going to happen. The women were arguing with each other more than trying to learn the fucking song. Their hot-and-cold friendship had been cruising down the street and suddenly rammed headfirst into a concrete barricade. All those giggly bathroom breaks meant nothing now.
“Enough,” I yelled in a bassy tone. “We are going to die in five minutes if you two don’t fucking work together. I hate to go Felix on you two, but this is fucking bullshit. If I hear one more stupid argument, I’m going to tell the Rosendales to let their horses stomp the fuck out of us.”
I felt like a father, but it needed to be done. I threw in the cursing to let them know I meant business. I mostly swore when my life was in danger and Alayna knew it.
The two ladies finally put their differences aside and worked in lockstep for the final five minutes. However, Burn’s final practice attempts didn’t breed much confidence in me. She stuttered, stumbled and forgot the last verse.
Apparently time was up because the Rosendales, trailed by their followers, charged up the hill to the base of the steps.
With wonder in his eyes, Fetterman asked, “Are ya all ready?”
Burn answered, “As ready as we are going to be.”
Mirera said, “We just need to wait for all of our friends to get into place so they can enjoy the song. And don’t try too hard, young lady, nothing you do will compare to the most beautiful voice we’ve ever heard.”
Using her wrist like a master puppeteer, she made Fetterman’s head nod. “That’s right. If I could bring Queen Al back to life, I would do it this second. And not just so I could hear her again. Because she didn’t deserve to be killed.”
Damnit, Alayna. They still love you. We could be halfway to the Great Expanse by now.
Before I could say anything, Fetterman pointed to Burn and she began to serenade the audience. It was like an exotic mixture of opera singing and country music. She belted out a slower rendition than the original version. The horses stomped around, almost dancing. The Rosendales hooked their arms and danced a do-si-do on horseback.
When Burn finished the line, ‘She’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes,” the crowd erupted with the follow-up, “Woo hoo.”
Burn made it about halfway through the song without any issues, but I could see a red rash of nervousness climbing up her neck and onto her cheeks. She continued to wow the thrilled audience that danced around on horseback, shouting ‘Woo hoo’ at the proper intervals.
The Rosendales and their people were having a great time and Burn came to the last verse that had given her so much trouble. She winked at me and I noticed the rash of nervousness disappearing.
She plowed right through the final verse to the delight of the Rosendales.
Fetterman screamed, “Woo hoo. I love that part. Well, if that isn’t more fun than flushing out some anteaters, I don’t know what is.”
Tears of joy were running down Mirera’s cheeks and she couldn’t get rid of the proud smile pasted to her face. The couple held their heads close together and shared a soft kiss. Their lips kept pecking at each other and without warning, a make-out session started.
The Rosendales went at it for several moments and Fetterman used his other hand to cup his wife’s bosom. She pulled his head away, and said, “We might need to continue this later. Not in front of everyone else.”
Fetterman reluctantly removed his hand from her breast. He gave her another sweet peck on the lips and pulled her head away from his.
I ran up and hugged Burn. “Way to go. That was amazing. I’m so proud of you.”
The Rosendales invited us to stay for a meal and we eagerly accepted. The food pills were cool but I wanted to bite into something. I’d never eaten anteater or wild boar before, and although they were both rather tough and flavorless, it was something new. The dullahans also served us some sweet mulled wine that really hit the spot and allowed me to save some of my booze stash that was becoming depleted.
The ruling couple ordered their seamstresses and tailors to work together to design and craft a sling that I could wear on my back to carry Alayna. The dedicated staff even came to the dinner table to measure Alayna’s dimensions. Even though Alayna was tiny, I welcomed the help.
Alayna pulled her mask up over her mouth to eat and I wondered why she continued to hide her identity when the Rosendales loved her.
Watching the dullahans eat was a strange experience. I wanted to ask the obvious question. Where did the food go? It didn’t fall out of their necks, but I was too shy to ask if it somehow magically transferred to their stomachs.
The husband served the wife and vice-versa. Fetterman set Mirera’s head next to her plate and fed her, even wiping her mouth when necessary. E
verything was lovely until an argument broke out and Mirera almost bit off one of Fetterman’s fingers.
When the angered husband jammed his fork deep into the wooden table, we knew it was time to hit the road. We said our goodbyes and the head seamstress rushed in with the finished sling. Ironically, the backpack type carrier was purple, Alayna’s favorite color. She slid her feet into the openings and I hooked the soft straps over my shoulders. Light as a feather.
Another strange day in Sleepy Willow. The trio had almost died twice. We’d survived the ogre attack by working as a team. And despite winning over the Rosendales by defeating those beasts, we were almost horse stomped to death if not for a lovely song. Weird place.
The Rosendales had one of their knights give us directions to the next checkpoint, which was the Rhyming Red Cap’s castle. The brave man couldn’t promise that our path would be free of ogres, but we had directions nonetheless. Considering it was the last checkpoint before the great expanse, I anticipated some action.
The three of us walked down the stone steps of the Rosendales’ reddish-brown castle and prepared to head out into the wild again.
Hail Rosendales.
Chapter 27
We trekked onward toward the Rhyming Red Cap’s castle. The Rosendales had given us directions, but I had no idea if we were headed for the castle or a hidden swarm of soldiers. I’d given up on trying to figure out this strange land.
The trip had started to wear on all of us. Sleeping on terra firma without blankets, pillows or even a tent had taken a toll on my body. I assumed Alayna, who was walking on her own now, had to be sore from the constant hiking.
We were descending Mount Ash. The Red Cap’s Castle was supposedly in the valley ahead. The group hadn’t a clue as to what the Red Cap was going to request. Alayna had told us that the Red Cap normally had a group of guests stay in his castle. Then at night, he tried to kill them all, so he could soak his hat in their blood. If you were awake when the sun came up, that meant you’d survived. Didn’t sound like a fun game to me.
Supposedly, the Red Cap believed that the blood of his victims gave him a power that nobody else understood. Rumor had it that when he wore the hat, he thought it would give him the combined strength of every single victim. Alayna had said that the prevailing opinion was that the Red Cap was mad, but he held a stature that allowed him to kill with impunity.
Alayna slowed down, rubbing her ankle again. Burn said, “Aw come on. Why don’t you just go in the sling again? You’re slowing us down.”
Uh oh. A fiery glare centered in Alayna’s eyes. “Slowing you down? Then run ahead, child. Leave me. Considering you have no idea where we are, I’d say I’m rather valuable.”
I tried to defuse the situation. “She does have a point, Alayna. I mean you both have points.”
As she pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, a fierce look came over Alayna’s face. “Don’t worry, this trip will be over soon. You can end your little fugacious dalliance with this demimonde and...”
Burn cut her off, “Excuse me? What did you just call me? You think you’re so perfect. Such a victim. We’re supposed to believe that the mean old king had you killed for no reason. Apparently, you didn’t do a fucking thing. Yeah right. They just clipped your little wings for no reason. Bullshit.”
I got ready to step in as Alayna moved slowly toward Burn. The faerie said, “And who are you? The noble demon? You say you’ve been sexually abused, yet you hop on Mike the first chance you get. So I believe that the word demimonde is accurate, if not perfect.”
“Maybe they clipped your wings because you’re a fucking liar.” Burn bobbed her head around in anger as she spoke, “You know, like the lie you’ve been telling Mike since you met him.”
Alayna’s angry look shifted to one of rage. “Don’t you dare.”
What the hell was going on here?
Burn smiled and nodded. “Oh, yeah. We wouldn’t want to expose you as a big fat liar. The noble Queen Al. Quite the oxymoron there. Do you want to come clean, or are you going to force me to do it?”
“I swear...” Alayna started.
Burn cut her off, “Mike, you aren’t related to Merlin. Alayna made it up to artificially boost your confidence.”
The left corner of my mouth perked up in amusement. This had to be a joke. I turned to Alayna, whose lowered head told a powerful story. No. It couldn’t be true. “Okay. I know we’re all mad right now.” My mentor still hadn’t looked up at me. “Are you fucking serious, Alayna?”
She avoided eye contact with me as she spoke, “Mike, this means nothing. Look what you can do with magic. Who cares if you aren’t related to Merlin?”
Had someone just shot me in the chest? I couldn’t believe it. “Me. It meant everything to me. I bragged to everyone about how I shared a bloodline with the mighty wizard. I hung my hat on it. That’s why you kept stalling me out when I’d ask about my heritage. You turned me into a fucking liar.”
She finally looked up at me, teary eyed and hopefully regretful. “Mike, you have to believe me. I was doing it for your own good. You were lacking a bit of knowledge and I thought Merlin would give you that spark to achieve more. And it worked. Look at you now compared to when we first met.”
I turned away. I couldn’t even look at her right now. “You know what? Right now, I feel exactly the same as the day we met. I want to fucking die. My whole existence is a fucking sham. I’m nothing.” I leaned back against the trunk of a redwood.
“Look at the magic you can perform. Does it really matter who your ancestors are?” Alayna attempted to sound hopeful, but it wasn’t working.
The left side of my chest felt hollow. “Yes. It matters to me. I’m sitting here at twenty-three trying to figure out who the fuck I am. I’m back to nothing. Square one. I’m a nobody loser again.”
“That’s so not true...” Alayna tried to soothe me, but I cut her off.
I screamed, “Fuck you. How ‘bout that? Enough of your bullshit.” I took a few chest heaving breaths and calmed down. “Give me the return potion. I’m getting the fuck out of here. Burn, would you like to join me? This bitch can fend for herself. Maybe she’ll find some new people to lie to.”
Alayna stared at me and I thought she was going to yell at me. Instead, she poked two fingers in her pocket and produced the return potion. She extended her hand, tears pooling in her eyes, and said, “It was nice knowing you, Micheal.”
“I wish I could say the same.” I snatched the tiny vial and turned my back on her. Anger still coursed through me and I was fighting away the tremors in my extremities.
I stared at the bottle and ruminated over the situation. Whether I was related to Merlin, or not as the case seemed to be, I’d still taken an oath to protect the citizens of Pittsburgh. I was caught between a rock and a hard place on this one.
Every time I’d trusted someone, it had ended in heartache. I wanted respect. I wanted the respect that the wizards from St. Louis and Chicago had attained. That was all over. Who would respect a liar and a fraud, even if he’d been lied to?
I was a fucking poser. I’d grabbed onto the Merlin thing and worn it like a badge of courage.
It felt like a little lumberjack was inside my heart, swinging an axe wildly, trying get out. My heart was shattered, mutilated really. I tucked the vial away for a second.
I didn’t give a fuck about the girls right now and I extracted my animal skin of Jameson from inside my suit and took a few gulps of Jameson.
That was what I needed. Wait, what the fuck was happening to me? I was turning into my father. Using booze as an excuse for his criminal behavior was always one of his ‘go to moves.’ I truly had no idea who Micheal Anthony Merlino truly was. I knew one thing, my magic career had been based on a sham.
I put my goatskin away, pulled out the return potion and unscrewed the cap. I handed it to Burn and held out the back of my hand as a target for her. Burn’s hand shook nervously as she started to tilt the vial.
Ch
apter 28
“Stop. Wait,” I said. Burn pulled back on the vial of return potion and held it upright.
“I can’t ditch out on this now.” I stared down at Alayna, “I just want to be clear. I’m doing this for the citizens of Pittsburgh. Not for you.”
Alayna explained, “As am I. I’m not doing this for me. If I were, I would have come here a long time ago. The only reason I’m here is because the dragons and the sidhe came to Pittsburgh.”
I wasn’t even trying to listen to what she had to say. It appeared the recent events and constant stress had resulted in everyone being knocked down a few emotional pegs. The dark chickens of our past were coming home to roost. Of all the possible issues we faced, turning on each other hadn’t registered in my mind.
The more I ruminated on the Merlin thing, the more I realized it was just a name. The real magic was inside me. I was most upset that I would be made to look a fool in front of the magic community. I turned to Alayna. “Can you just explain why you did it? Why you thought it would be a good idea to lie to me?”
“As I’ve already said, it was mostly for your confidence.” She paused for a moment, tapping her chin. “I was in your town searching for the long-lost relative of Merlin. He was supposed to be in that bar you loved to drink at. When I snuck in to find him, you were sitting at that table in the back.”
A bird’s squawk broke our attention momentarily. We all peered around for intruders, but couldn’t find anything. With my pulse heightened, Alayna continued, “You had the most enormous magical vines emanating from your body. They were much bigger than the ones coming from Merlin’s relative. So I...I kind of switched you two.”
“What about the Gods? What about my father having magical ability?”
It was strange watching Alayna try to wriggle her way out of this. She had always been in control and her nervous twitches gave me a slight sense of revenge. She said, “As I’ve said, you do come from a line of wizards. Just not Merlin’s line. When I’d returned to the Celtic Gods, I may have led them to believe that you were Merlin’s relative.”