Demons Like It Hot

by Ayers, Sidney

  “I’ve got to get out of here before I do something I regret.”

  Tasteful Elegance was as good a name as any for Serah’s company. It fit her perfectly. Serah radiated elegance, and he’d tasted enough to know her lips were sweeter than sin.

  He’d dawdled too long. He had to go or he’d burst into Serah’s room and do something he would regret—again. He closed his eyes and threw his arms up into the air.

  “Portals of limbo and hell. Carry me away to the front door of Tasteful Elegance.”

  With that, the winds whipped around him and sucked him up into the freezing vortex. Ice and snow circled him, carrying him through the tunnel. Ice crystals formed on his lips and eyes. A temporary discomfort—in a minute his feet touched solid earth.

  The ice melted from his eyelids, and he slowly opened his eyes. Wiping snow and ice from his head and shoulders, he scanned the area.

  “Vhat zee hell?”

  A tall redhead, clad in tall black boots and a red sweater dress, with a purple scarf draped over her shoulders, stood not more than three feet from Matthias. Her fingers clenched tight around her keys. Her brown eyes widened with shock, and her mouth gaped open just as wide.

  “Edie, I presume?”

  “Sacre bleu!” With that, the woman crumpled to the ground.

  Sacre bleu, indeed.

  He didn’t think that expression was still used in France. Maybe he was wrong. Putting that thought in the back of his mind, Matthias rushed forward and caught her before her head hit the concrete. He took the keys that Edie still gripped and found one labeled TE cuisine.

  With the sous-chef in his arms and the key gripped tight, he took determined steps to the door. He twisted the key into the lock and kicked it open.

  “Ohhh,” Edie murmured as she twisted in his arms.

  He needed to act fast.

  This was not how he wanted to start his mission. He’d promised Serah no enrapturement, but she’d seen the Peragrans—demon travel. Even that little glimpse could be too much. He’d learned a lot in his centuries as a mercenary. The less humans knew, the better.

  And what he needed to do wasn’t enrapturement. All demons could enrapture. What he could do was something far more powerful, something that had kept him hidden in the shadows for many years. It could be dangerous, but he had no choice, for Edie’s sake. If humans knew the truth of what was out there, the consequences were too great. He had to do this. There was no other choice.

  Serah would understand—he hoped.

  He carried Edie to the side office and placed her on the couch. Smoothing back her hair, he took a deep breath. He made a vow to himself to never use his skill, after what he’d done to Serah. He hated breaking vows, even if it was necessary.

  “Humans cannot know about the evil that surrounds them.”

  He clenched his fists. He hated doing this. He reached out and took hold of Edie’s shoulders and closed his eyes. The words rolled from his lips a little too easily for his taste. “You will forget the events that transpired this morning between when you pulled into the parking lot and now. You were up all night working on a recipe and fell asleep.”

  Edie rubbed her eyes and sighed. “Vhere am I?” she mumbled. Slowly, her lids fluttered open. “Vooo are you?”

  “I’m Matthias Ambrose, the security guard.”

  Edie stretched her arms. “Mon Dieu! I came in early and must have fallen asleep. I vas up all night verking on a new recipe for my boss. I am very sorry!”

  He still had his touch, unfortunately.

  ***

  “What the hell happened here?” Kalli swept a purple dreadlock from her face. She sniffed the air. Smoke still rolled from the kitchen door. “This is worse than I thought.”

  Serah groaned. “Let’s just say I learned a lesson.”

  “Which is?”

  “Don’t let a demon cook breakfast.”

  “Some demons are good cooks, you know.”

  Serah stifled her chuckle. “Let me guess. You were a master chef in one of your previous lives?”

  It wouldn’t surprise her one bit if she was.

  “Hell no. I can’t cook a meal to save my life.”

  “Lucky for you, you’re immortal.”

  “And the fact that I don’t need regular food for nourishment.”

  All demons had to keep up their strength some way or another. Lucy’s kind fed on sex. Some needed the sun. Others needed a full moon. She never pressed the subject with Kalli. It wasn’t any of her business anyway.

  “I still eat occasionally.”

  “I owe you a meal then. What would you like?”

  “Steak tartare.”

  Serah shuddered at the thought. She’d only made the dish once before in culinary school. Raw meat mixed with raw eggs wasn’t her thing. Neither was E. coli. “I should have figured you’d be the carnivorous type.”

  Serah pulled at the sleeves of the dress that seemed to cling to the wrong curves. Despite the fit, it was a pretty dress. Blues, turquoises, and greens swirled together and blended perfectly. She yanked at the waist, trying desperately to adjust the belt wrapped tight against her body.

  “If you keep tugging at that dress, you’re going to rip it.” Kalli grabbed Serah’s hands and pulled them from the fabric. “I’m not a seamstress either, if you get my drift. And you look awesome.”

  Did she really? Or was Kalli just saying that to stroke her ever fleeting ego? “You sure?”

  “Seriously, Serah.” Kalli shook her head. “I don’t give compliments lightly. Just ask Rafe.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Kalli smiled. “You better.” She reached down and picked up a pair of Matthias’s cargoes from the chair and unfolded them. “Bigger than I expected.” She waggled her brows. What was the deal with her and Lucy? Were they trying to play matchmaker? Well, she wasn’t interested. She had news for them. He wasn’t either.

  “Bigger?”

  Kalli plopped into the sofa and kicked up her combat boots. “I was expecting someone a little leaner. He always slipped from my grasp like an eel. I’m surprised someone so bulky could sneak away so well.”

  “Yeah, he’s quite… uhh… massive.”

  Kalli smirked. “Massive seems to be an understatement. So what’s he like?”

  “Worse than Rafe, if you can imagine that. If Rafe had a stick up his ass when he first came here, this guy has the entire tree.” And that’s all she would say. Like Kalli would want to know about her naughty fantasies and the kiss they shared. So his stick wasn’t wedged as far up as she let on.

  Kalli cringed. “Ouch.” Scratching her chin, she leaned against the sofa. “But something tells me there’s more.”

  “You better not be reading my mind.”

  Kalli shook her head. “Whoever blessed you did a damned good job. I couldn’t break through even if I tried.”

  “So you’ve tracked Matthias?”

  “A few times. He always managed to escape though. The one time I almost had him. My mission was terminated.”

  “Why?”

  “I never asked. Knowing his record, I can only suspect his next job was for one of us.”

  Serah shivered. Could she really trust him with her life? Someone who quickly changed allegiance at a drop of a hat? “Comforting.”

  Kalli, sensing her unease, wrapped her arm around her shoulder. “To be honest, I never got an evil reading from him. The Paladins he killed weren’t the most righteous of demons.”

  What did she mean by that? Weren’t the Paladins blessed? They were the good guys. They couldn’t do wrong, could they? “But I thought they were here to keep earth safe?”

  “For the most part. But there are still those who lose sight of the greater good.”

  “Oh.” So much for good and evil. The demons were just as conflicted as humans. Politics remained the same, no matter what realm you were in. Talk about a kick in the pants.

  “Does that make sense?”

  “Perfe
ct sense, actually. Demons and humans are more alike than we realize.”

  “I never said we weren’t. Which is why I always avoided running for a position on the Fore-Demon Council. Too much backstabbing and too many ulterior vendettas for my tastes. I just don’t have the backbone for it.”

  “Oh puhlease. You have the strongest backbone I’ve ever seen.”

  “I don’t do well in positions of authority.” Kalli smiled. “I’d much rather be in the action than directing it.”

  She turned to the kitchen. “Let’s see the damage.”

  Serah pushed open the door, and the remaining smoke billowed out. Serah covered her cough and waved the smoke away.

  “One demon did all this?” She reached over and grabbed a melted Tupperware bowl from the counter. “Something tells me their warranty doesn’t cover this.”

  “Tell me about it.” Serah continued swatting at the hovering smoke.

  “Allow me.” Kalli opened her mouth and held her arms out. With a giant whoosh, she spun around and the smoke wound its way around her, spiraling into her mouth in a huge vortex.

  With a loud gulp, she swallowed. And just like that, all the smoke and stench was gone, including the smell that lingered on her.

  “You know, you just made me break my New Year’s resolution. I was doing so well too.”

  “Huh?”

  “I gave up smoking.”

  “Seriously, demons have temptations?”

  “Almost as bad as humans, if not worse.”

  “Sorry, hon. I didn’t know he couldn’t cook.”

  Kalli grinned. “You’re forgiven. Tasting all that burnt smoke and ash shows me exactly what I’m not missing.”

  “What’s next?”

  “I can handle it from here. What I do next will make your head spin—literally.”

  “Like Linda Blair?”

  Kalli smirked. “Worse.”

  After seeing her self-induced tornado, she didn’t doubt it one bit. “All righty then.” With that, she pushed the door open with her bum and backed through. “Lock up on your way out.”

  “You got it.” Kalli smiled, shutting the door. A loud clanging of pans and glass rent the air.

  I sure hope she knows what she’s doing. With that, she grabbed her keys off the coffee table and threw on her coat. What else could possibly go wrong?

  Chapter 20

  Serah checked the rearview mirror and put the car into reverse. She glanced through the windshield at her grandmother’s brick ranch and sucked in a breath.

  There was nothing to worry about. The house was safe in Kalli’s and Farquhar’s hands and paws.

  “Everything will be fine.”

  Serah relaxed in her seat and turned on the radio. Lady Gaga’s latest tune rang through the speakers. The bass pounded in her ears. She adjusted the volume.

  “Wow. Was the volume up that high last night?”

  Matthias’s leg probably bumped it. He was kind of cramped in there.

  She came to the intersection at A-Line Road, her least favorite corner. Who in their right mind designed the left turns in this silly state? Luckily, it was usually a long light. She had plenty of time to cross so she could use the turnaround. She picked up speed.

  She looked down at her dashboard and snapped her head back up.

  “What the fuck?”

  The light was already yellow. And without any more delay, it turned red. Didn’t anyone in this town know how to time the lights?

  She slammed on the brakes. Tires squealing in protest, the car shuddered and moaned as the anti-lock brakes engaged. Her car swerved on the dew-dampened road and started spinning. Serah held on to the steering wheel in a desperate attempt to remain in control.

  She looked out her side view mirror, her mouth wide open in fear.

  “Shit!”

  A red minivan came barreling down the road—right at her. Horns rang out. Another round of squeals echoed through the air. The van came to a stop—a mere two inches from her car.

  The faint hint of burnt rubber and sulfur lingered in the air. Taking slow, even breaths, she clenched the steering wheel. She should have known demons were involved. Had they always been involved?

  “Hey,” the woman in the minivan shouted out the window. “Watch where you’re going.”

  “Sorry. The light malfunctioned or something.” Malfunctioned, all right. From the undertones of sulfur, she knew exactly what caused the malfunction. Maybe she wasn’t near as bad a driver as she suspected.

  “No problem. It did seem to change a little quickly. Stupid city lights.”

  The little boy in the passenger seat wasn’t so nice. He stuck out his tongue and flipped Serah off.

  Serah rolled her eyes. Kids. Cute when they needed to be, devils when they wanted to be.

  “Timmy!” the woman shouted as she rolled her window back up.

  Serah put the car in reverse and pulled out of the minivan’s way. The minivan pulled forward. Timmy flipped her off again, with both hands this time.

  Daring little brat.

  Serah smiled and waved sweetly at the little boy. “Wow. Some people’s kids,” she mumbled to herself.

  Oh well. Not everyone is born an angel—or demon for that matter. They probably grew into it. She watched as the van proceeded up the road. Mother wagged her finger at her son. Maybe mom could keep Timmy on the right path—unlike the demon who seemed hell-bent on terrorizing her on a regular basis.

  She stuck in the Bluetooth headset into her ear and pressed the button on the side.

  “Call shop.”

  “Calling shop,” the automated voice replied in her ear.

  “Please enjoy the music as we locate your party.”

  Serah controlled her laughter. If she was having a party she would sure know where it was. If only she were really going to a party. It would be a heck of a lot easier. Too bad Lucy wasn’t here to share in their little inside joke. It was silly, but she really valued their off-the-wall friendship.

  Heck, they still used paper-rock-scissors to settle decisions. Then again, the last time they did that was the night she wished she could forget. Lucy, the chest, a legion of demons. She needn’t say more.

  “If only I’d picked rock instead. This whole thing would’ve played out so much differently.” Lucy’s inner succubus might have remained untapped. Serah sighed. Her inner whatever-it-was wouldn’t be sending signals to all the demons within a ten-mile radius. They’d be normal—or as normal as they used to be. Then again, would Lucy have Rafe?

  At least something good came out of the whole ordeal. Lucy and Rafe had found each other. Seriously, if she could go back in time, she’d tell that man at the secondhand shop what he could do with his weird chest of wonder.

  “It’s a steal… my ass.”

  But knowing how meddlesome Lucy and Rafe had become, Serah figured she’d see them soon enough. Heck, they’d probably be there bright and early with the rest of the crew.

  The music ringtone continued to play in her ear. What was taking Edie so long? She looked down at the clock. She was usually there at least an hour early.

  “Tasteful Elegance. Speak.” The deep gravelly voice had the same effect on the phone as it did in person. Her pulse quickened and her breath caught. Damn, even when he was rude, he sent her hormones flying.

  She finally found her senses. “Seriously. That’s not how a business phone should be answered.”

  “I saw the number on the display as I answered it.”

  “It’s still rude.”

  “How can I help you? Is that better?”

  “Yes. Much. Where’s Edie?”

  Matthias sucked in a breath. “There was a situation.”

  Oh God! They decided to move on to her employee instead? This had gone too far. She took a sharp sweep around the turnabout. Her tires squealed again. She didn’t care. The quicker she got to her shop the better.

  “What sort of situation? Worse than demons changing traffic lights?”

>   “What? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. What’s going on?”

  “Edie saw my Peragrans. I had to run some damage control.” He paused. “Your situation sounds more urgent.”

  “It’s handled.”

  Matthias growled. “I can be there in two seconds if you need me.”

  She wasn’t completely helpless. Did no one trust her? “If you want me to accept this thing you think has been bestowed on me, then you have to let me handle my own situations. All that happened was that I accidentally ran a red light and almost got sideswiped. Almost being the operative word.”

  “I want you safe, Serah.”

  Want her safe, or need her safe? She refrained from asking and bit her tongue instead.

  She flicked the signal to turn into BigBob’s Coffee shop. “I appreciate that. Do you like coffee?” She contained her snort. Did demons drink coffee? Rafe didn’t. He said it tasted like burnt sandpaper. She didn’t bother asking how he knew what sandpaper tasted like.

  “I’ll take an extra large Toffee Temptation with a double shot of espresso and energy boost.”

  Her eyes boggled open. That combination would have a human bouncing off the ceiling and walls. “Seriously?”

  “You were right. BigBob’s coffee is better than Starbucks.”

  He never ceased to amaze her. From his massive gladiator physique and strong chiseled face, to his odd tastes in coffee. Did they have coffee shops in limbo? With these demons, nothing surprised her anymore.

  “Do you really need an energy boost? I thought you demons didn’t need sleep.”

  “Just get the coffee.”

  So much for trying to make conversation. “Does Edie want anything?”

  “The usual.”

  “Got it. Be there in ten. Bye.” With that, she ended the call. Two people could play this game.

  ***

  Matthias crossed his arms. He did not like leaving Serah unprotected. Especially after what she just said happened. He clenched his teeth.

  “Iz Miz SanGermano on her way?” Edie adjusted the white, muffin-topped hat on her head and flipped her red hair. She had the most intriguing accent he’d ever heard.