by Pearl Foxx
Maxsym nosedived toward the ground, and she flattened herself against his back, squeezing her thighs so she gripped him with arms, fingers, knees, and feet. Every part of her latched tight against him, becoming a second skin. As he dove, he rolled, taking her upside down and then flipping back to the side again.
The rush of adrenaline she felt wasn’t excitement; it was terror. The ride itself could have been exhilarating, but having no way to communicate with Maxsym as he barreled toward the western slopes made it an act of mere survival.
He jackknifed around a sharp corner and led them straight into a dark crevice where haksiba insects filled the air. He screeched, and the small creatures skittered away, flying high above them, some disappearing farther into the cracks of the rock wall.
Maxsym pulled his wings against his body and twirled toward the end of the crevice, forcing his large frame through what seemed like an impossibly narrow passageway.
Niva screamed as the ground scraped against her back and she was rolled over and over until she had no sense of up or down.
Maxsym landed on the ground once they’d entered a chamber on the other end, his chest heaving as he rested his body and head against the stone floor. The sky opened high above them through a series of small openings. With a growing sense of dread, Niva realized they were in a cave shaped like an upside-down funnel.
She jumped off and scrambled as far from Maxsym’s large body as she could. If he struck out at her with a taloned claw or one of his wings, he could easily throw her against the stone wall and shatter her bones.
Her body thrummed with fear, but when she saw Maxsym’s eyes, large and black with no whites to be found, her terror paled in comparison. He bared his teeth, and she could hear the intake of breath, signaling he was about to spit acid in her direction. She stepped back farther with her hands out and sidestepped into the more open space to his left.
“Maxsym, listen to me. Listen to my voice. It’s me, Niva. We’re friends.”
He stared at her blankly, his scaled hide shivering, and she longed to see his smirk. She would even take a wise-ass comment about how they could be more than friends or something else that would earn him a slap on the chest. The easygoing, confident man she’d come to consider part of her family was lost, and all that remained was a Draqon, afraid and confused.
After a beat, Maxsym’s eyes darted between the haksiba hanging thick and orange nearby and back to her. It wasn’t much, but it was something. And she could work with something if it meant pulling her friend back from this state of fear he’d lost himself in.
“Yes, you brought me here, remember? We came together. To get the haksiba. That was our plan. But now, if you could be in your first form, that would be really great.” Niva’s hands shook as she spoke, but she forced herself to take a tentative step forward. “You see, I’m not used to being around Draqons. I’ve seen many of you, but being up close, it’s still a little scary. Do you think, for me, you could transform back? That way we can gather the haksiba and go home.”
At the word home, Maxsym’s body trembled. He whirled away, his unwieldy tail careening behind him. He craned his head in all directions, searching the edges of the crevice as if he was confused as to how he’d gotten there. When his eyes landed back on Niva, prickles of icy fear ran up her spine, and she fought the instinct to recoil. There was so much hatred and suspicion in the way his reptilian eyes confronted her.
“You know where you are.” Niva kept speaking to him, moving as close as she dared until the confusion overtook him again and she had to dart out of the way. The panic seemed to dig deeper into his psyche the longer they were trapped in the crevice, but Niva had no way to put distance between them, even if she could have gotten around his massive body.
But she couldn’t stay in here with him much longer. It was like he both knew who he was and didn’t at the same time. Like he was still Maxsym, but he’d gotten lost in the maze of his second form’s mind.
Suddenly, her terror heightened, overtaking her, and her heart clenched with worry. Maxsym had to be okay. She didn’t know how she’d survive it if he wasn’t. She’d die. She’d lose herself in her hate and self-loathing. All along, she’d been right. She only hurt the ones she loved.
Wait.
No.
That wasn’t her.
She wanted Maxsym to be okay and cared about him, but the way she felt, desperate and terrified, those weren’t her feelings.
They were Zayd’s.
Niva looked up and spotted a familiar shimmer of red and orange. As he dove toward the top of the crevice’s opening, his wings cast a shadow over the cavern. Each time he came closer, his fear of losing Maxsym and his horror at the idea that Niva might be hurt overtook her.
Their connection grew stronger as he approached the entranceway. She remembered what she’d felt when he’d been injured, the pain she’d suffered not just from seeing him hurt, but felt inside her own body. Their connection was more than she’d realized.
Why hadn’t she felt that with Maxsym since she’d ridden him just the same? But what she felt for Zayd had started long before their flight. It had begun the first time they met, when he’d called her dewdrop in the Vilkas’ mountain.
Shifting just outside of the crevice, Zayd stepped into the dim light of the cavern, his white-blond hair pushed back to show his scarred face, and she was struck by just how beautiful he was. It was like she could see inside him, past the physical disfigurement and the near constant scowl on his face. She could see the man inside and knew she loved him.
“Niva, are you okay?” Zayd whispered from a distance, his eyes locked on Maxsym.
She nodded but gestured toward Maxsym, who still prowled back and forth in the small cavern, his scales tight and his tremendous jaw clenched.
Zayd slowly stepped forward, one foot in front of the other, the way he would approach a wild animal or a frightened, lost child.
“Max,” Zayd spoke tenderly, using a nickname Niva hadn’t heard before. It conveyed so much emotion between the two men, and she hoped it would be enough to bring Maxsym back from wherever he was lost. “Max, it’s me. It’s Zayd. I’m here. You’re okay.”
Maxsym ignored Zayd’s advance, neither responding to him nor lashing out. But the look on Zayd’s face made Neva’s heart ache. His fear amplified the tension in the cavern, making it almost impossible to calm Maxsym down.
“Maxsym.” Niva brought his attention to her and pulled her bag from her back. “Remember why we came? To get the haksiba. Let’s do what we came for, and then we can go. Does that sound good? We’ll get some haksiba, you’ll shift back, and we’ll walk out that tunnel.”
Maxsym’s body angled toward her as she spoke, his head shifting from side to side with the cadence of her words. Niva was confident he could hear her, but she wasn’t sure how much he understood until his tail flicked up and knocked off a massive haksiba deposit from the rock face. He looked at it and back at Niva then lowered his head to the ground.
Niva stepped forward.
“Be careful,” Zayd hissed, and Maxsym spat out a small spark of fire in response.
“I’m okay. Maxsym’s not going to hurt me. And Zayd’s not going to hurt you,” she said to the Draqon.
She opened her bag and began piling the loose haksiba in. She stood perilously close to Maxsym’s massive tail, but as she scooped some of the haksiba into the bag, Maxsym adjusted his body away from Zayd. He watched her, and as she continued to speak to him, his scales loosened.
He settled close by, listening as she talked about how she would cook the haksiba and what they would do with it.
When she was almost done, he reached up with an arm and pawed at another low-lying deposit, knocking it loose and sending it crashing to the ground near Niva.
“Thank you,” Niva said, keeping her eyes on him. The feeling that she was dealing with a strangely intelligent wild animal as opposed to a shifter hadn’t lessened, but now at least the wild animal trusted her.
“Do you think you can shift back? Back to Maxsym so we can talk?”
Maxsym’s black eyes widened, and he looked from Niva over to Zayd, who had crept silently closer.
“You remember, Max? You remember how to focus your concentration and bring your wings in?” Zayd asked. His voice had a tender edge Niva was unaccustomed to, and it melted her heart to hear. She was so filled with his love and respect for Maxsym despite the danger they were in.
She couldn’t help the emotions that flooded through her body, bringing heat and happiness to her extremities. Zayd flicked his eyes in her direction, black and deep. She sank far into them, beneath the still surface and down to the wild sea below. For a moment, she wished they were here alone.
He smiled weakly before turning his attention back to his best friend.
“Try it with me.” Half shifting into his second form, Zayd unfurled his wings ever so slightly so that the tips of the red and orange scales could be seen behind his silhouette.
“Ease your breathing, relax your mind. Be here, in this moment. You’re with Niva and me, and you’re safe. There’s no one else around, and no one can see you. All you have to do is listen. Bring your focus to just your breath. Still your mind. All that exists is your breathing. When you breathe in, feel your wings as they come closer to your body.”
Maxsym shimmered in the dim light, and his wings contracted against his body. After a few more minutes of coaching, they’d calmed Maxsym enough so that his wings retracted and his scales disappeared beneath his muscular frame.
Maxsym crumpled to the ground, his chest heaved, and his body shook. But he was human. He’d shifted.
Niva wanted to run to him, but Zayd held out a hand.
“You’re not his mate. You’ll only confuse him more.”
Zayd approached and crouched in front of his friend, speaking to him softly. The moment between the two men was intimate, and Niva felt like an intruder. She finished filling her bag until it overflowed and pulled it onto her back. She would leave the men there for as long as they needed. She’d been out this way enough she was sure she could circle back up toward the hive.
“Wait,” Maxsym called out.
Niva turned and found him standing on two legs. Zayd had his arm around his friend’s waist and seemed to be bearing much of the weight. “Niva, I’m sorry. I never should’ve tried to fly with you.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I should have known. It’s hard enough to fly alone, let alone with a rider. And to ride with someone else’s mate was more than I could handle.” Maxsym’s face was crestfallen, but Niva couldn’t think past the words “someone else’s mate.”
Her eyes flicked to Zayd, who refused to meet hers, but the connection between them vibrated with absolute certainty that she was his mate and had been for some time now. Her mind reeled.
How had she not known? Why hadn’t he said anything?
“We need to get you home,” Zayd said softly, avoiding Niva’s stare.
She let Maxsym wrap his other arm around her shoulders, even though her small frame couldn’t bear his weight, but perhaps she could offer him some balance or comfort. Together, the three of them made their way out of the crevice and back toward home.
But once Maxsym was safe back at the hive, she and Zayd needed to have a conversation.
Chapter Sixteen
Zayd
Once Maxsym was safely asleep in his dwelling, Zayd ushered Niva straight to his own quarters.
As soon as the doors closed behind them, he took her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers in a searing kiss. The fear that had radiated from her had pulled the cord that ran from his gut directly to her heart and drove him to seek her and Maxsym out. Now that he had her in his arms, he couldn’t keep his hands off her.
He pulled her tight against his chest and kissed her. His tongue darted forward, seeking out the taste of her. He wanted to swallow her, consume her, keep her safe and with him at all times. The burning need to fill himself with her scent drove him into a frenzy that had his hands moving over her body, squeezing and caressing each muscular curve.
She turned her head away, and he let out a whimper, a plea to maintain the connection even for just a moment longer. When she placed her hand on his chest and pushed him away, his need for her turned to anger.
“You can’t just shove me in here and kiss me like that. I deserve to know what’s going on.”
Zayd turned his head so his hair fell in front of his face, a familiar and comforting way to hide from prying eyes. One more way to protect his innermost feelings from those who might hurt him. “What the fuck were you doing with Maxsym?”
The words came out harsher than he’d intended, but without the feeling of her skin to reassure him she was safe, all his fear morphed into fury.
“I was getting haksiba.”
“I understand that. I saw the bag you dropped off in the cooking house. That’s not what I mean. What the fuck were you doing out there with Maxsym? Why were you riding?” Zayd’s hands turned into fists at his side. His gut clenched at the words. The idea of her, his Niva, astride any other Draqon made his stomach roil.
“We were just trying to go quickly so we could get back in time to make a batch up for dinner. It wasn’t a big deal.” Niva pushed her hair away from her face and approached Zayd, but the closer she came, the more he could smell Maxsym’s Draqon on her.
He backed away from her. “You are not to ride other Draqons.”
“Well, you are not to tell me what I can and can’t do.” Niva’s voice was soft, quiet. She never rose to the bait of fighting with him and never tried to taunt him with a challenge. Her words were simple, clear, and uncompromising.
“You don’t understand.” He paced the room, turning himself in circles. “I’m not trying to be unreasonable. You… you don’t understand what it does to me.”
“Then tell me. Does this have something to do with what Maxsym said?” Niva’s eyes focused behind him, and she moved her weight from one foot to the other.
“Maxsym said a lot of things,” Zayd said, avoiding her question.
Niva stepped closer, and Zayd sidestepped her again. He couldn’t bear the idea of being touched by her just then. He knew if she did, he’d never let her go.
“Don’t pretend to be coy. You know exactly what I’m talking about. And don’t treat me like I’m stupid. Just because I wasn’t born a Draqon doesn’t mean I don’t understand what someone means when they call another person their mate.” Her eyes targeted his, tiny green lasers demanding he submit to her will and confess the truth.
“You heard what you wanted to hear. But as long as you live in this hive, you’re not to ride another Draqon.”
Fire sparked behind Niva’s eyes, and he saw the ember she held so close, never allowing it to blaze into the inferno within. She was a fighter, and she would make him a glorious Queen. His mouth dried at the thought. Sotu was his Queen, and he couldn’t let himself think past that. No matter what it did to him to know Niva had been astride another’s back.
“Stop trying to control me. You may be the leader here, but I’m not a Draqon. I did nothing wrong, and you know it. I didn’t do anything the other unmated women don’t do all the time. And I didn’t hurt Maxsym. You can’t blame me for what happened.”
“We were lucky you were there with him,” Zayd admitted. “He may have seriously hurt himself if you hadn’t gotten through to him.”
“Is this what happens to unmated males when they shift?” Niva’s anger drifted away as she thought of Maxsym. “Is this the madness everyone talks about?”
“What you saw in the cavern is only the beginning. When one of us is completely lost to the madness, it’s impossible to bring them back. Thank you for helping him. He’s my best friend, my brother. I don’t think I would’ve survived the last five years without him.”
“I know. I felt it. I felt the need to save him, a feeling that I couldn’t bear t
o live if he didn’t transform back. But those weren’t my thoughts. They were yours. Why do I feel you like that? Why did I feel your pain when the Hylas hurt you?” Niva stepped closer, and Zayd stared at the ground.
“Just promise me you won’t ride again,” he begged.
“Unless I ride with you?”
He hesitated and nodded, still not meeting her eyes.
“That’s not fair. I’m a great rider.”
“Sotu was a great rider.” Zayd took a deep breath, and his words rung in his ears. He waited for Niva to question him or demand more of the story, but she stood and waited. Her presence washed a peaceful wave over his soul, and for one rare instance, he felt forgiven for his crime.
Niva laid a soft hand on his chest but didn’t pressure him further.
The heat of her touch spread across his skin, soaking in deep and easing the chains wrapped around his heart. When she placed her other hand on his scarred cheek and brushed her thumb along his cheekbone, the coil of pain he held on to for clarity deep inside his chest began to unwind.
“So much sadness,” Niva said. “You carry it around like an anvil strapped to your heart. I can’t imagine what you think you’ve done to deserve such punishment.”
The bubble in his chest rose up his throat and escaped, a tiny gasp as he finally shared the depths of his agony with another person. It wasn’t fair. Niva didn’t deserve to feel this despair, but it was beyond his control. He couldn’t help but share it when she opened her heart to him.
Zayd could see the moment when his emotions flooded her system. Her face twisted with pain and sadness. But she didn’t look away. She didn’t pull her hands from his body or narrow her eyes in accusation. Instead, she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him.