“Hi there!” Ilara called out, taking another sip of tea. “I hate to say this, but would you mind if we skipped dinner tonight? I’m just…I am exhausted after this afternoon.” To emphasize her statement, Ilara lifted a hand, delicately covering a yawn.
Zuri waved their evening plans away, ignoring that she’d told Tarin that it was an important event. Ilara looked exhausted. In fact, even as Zuri opened her mouth to speak, Ilara seemed to fade into herself. “Take a nap and I’ll send word that you aren’t feeling well,” she promised.
Ilara opened her mouth to say something, but by the time she reached the bed, she sank down onto the comfortable mattress and, without another word, was fast asleep.
Zuri watched, stunned by the change in the normally vibrant woman. But instead of teasing her sister-in-law, Zuri walked over to the windows and pulled the curtains closed.
Chapter 8
Was Ilara suffering from the same issue? Could Zuri maybe…? One of the reasons she’d wanted to stay in a hotel for this trip was her planned, secret outing. She’d felt…strange lately. Symptoms that worried her. A trip to a pharmacy or drug store would give her the answers though. A simple enough task to accomplish if they were staying in a hotel. But a much more complicated endeavor while living in Tarin’s house.
But maybe what she’d been experiencing was simply due to the stress of the past several weeks. “This is crazy,” she muttered to herself, rubbing her forehead. “I need…” she stopped and shook her head, letting her hand slide down over her hip. “No! I’m not going to do it!” she told herself firmly. But even as she said the words, she knew that she was. She was going to do it. Experience told her that it was better to just do it and get it out of her system rather than fight the urge.
This was one of her “binge” urges. She wasn’t proud of her cravings, but over the years, she’d learned to pay attention to the urge. It was like a demon that needed to be fed.
She knew what she needed to do – get to a store, even a convenience store, and buy what she needed to feed this demon. Unfortunately, since they were in a residence instead of her normal hotel, she wasn’t sure if her un-protected excursion for supplies was possible. Stepping out of her room and into the long, carpeted hallway, she looked around. No guards.
Turning, she looked one way, then the other, and leaned carefully over the ornate railing, peering down at the beautiful foyer. Deep voices could be heard from the room right across the hallway from where she and Tarin had just…well, where she’d been several minutes before. So, Zuri slipped silently down the stairs, but turned in the opposite direction from the voices.
From experience, Zuri knew that a house this big and old would have a separate staircase for servants. Probably even a hidden staircase. That would be ideal, but if it was hidden, Zuri didn’t hold out much hope of finding it. So instead, she traced her way down the hallway and…bingo!
A short hallway led to the servants’ staircase. She went back up the stairs and grabbed her purse, checking her wallet. With relief, she smiled, silently thanking her personal assistant for ensuring that she had cash. No matter where Zuri traveled, she asked her assistant to make sure to put cash into her wallet, exactly for this kind of an emergency.
As she wrapped a scarf around her hair and pulled out a pair of dark sunglasses, Zuri tried to tamp down the intense urge that threatened to overwhelm her. It was an old, familiar urge, one that hadn’t struck her in several months. The last time it had happened, she’d been able to overcome the need. But after today’s…um…interlude in the salon, Zuri knew that fighting the need would be pointless. Better to satisfy the urge, feed it and get it over with so that it didn’t get worse.
Controlling her breath, she slipped as quietly as possible down the stairs, listening for someone who might give her away. Stealth and perseverance were needed now. She just needed to get out of the house and then she could move more quickly. “Step by step,” she whispered. One at a time. Slowly. Quietly.
It was the middle of the afternoon, the perfect time for her mission. The servants had a lull in their routines about this time of the afternoon. The kitchen staff would be working on dinner preparations while the cleaning staff should be finished by now.
The voices coming from the kitchen warned her that the area was full and lively, just as she’d expected. Zuri suspected that there were at least ten servants in the area. Some would be preparing food for tonight’s dinner, others might be working out details of security, perhaps a chauffeur was in the area, waiting to be called up on to drive Tarin somewhere…the kitchen area was the place where people gathered. That was a good thing for her mission. The noise meant that she could move about a bit more easily.
As she pulled the back door open, she looked for the body guards who would most likely be standing sentry at the various doors. At the last minute, she pulled back and removed the colorful, silk scarf from around her neck, stuffing it under her arm. Zuri grabbed one of the aprons on a hook right by the door. It wasn’t much of a disguise, but it was better than what she looked like now - which was a woman sneaking around.
From a distance, Zuri hoped that anyone that spotted her would see the apron and assume she was a servant.
Hurrying her steps, she bowed her head and rushed down the stone steps. Just a few more feet, she thought, then she’d reach that gate and be free!
Sure enough, there was a guard standing by the gate. She lifted a hand, not recognizing this man, but, in her experience, as long as she looked like she was supposed to be here, no one would stop her. The guard glanced at her, nodded in acknowledgement and turned to scan the area for threats.
Breathing a sigh of relief, she pulled the gate shut, then leaned against the rough wood. Free! Finally!
But that’s when the monster inside of her roared. “Right. Now for the hard part,” she whispered. Pushing away from the gate, she hurried down the street, not sure which way to go, but knowing that eventually, the elegant homes would give way to some small shops. If she didn’t come upon one soon, she had the phone number to a taxi service. She’d just call someone and ask to be dropped off.
Thankfully, that wasn’t needed. She went four blocks and came upon a small, quaint area with a coffee shop, a bakery, and a wine store. On the corner, she found what she needed. A bell chimed as she pulled the door open but she ignored it, thankful that the store was empty at the moment.
Without hesitation, she found what she was looking for and her thoughts focused on a single goal. Standing in front of the snack and chip display, her mouth watered as she stared at the various options. “Potato chips,” she whispered. “Just plain potato chips!”
She scanned the various options as her fingers twitched eagerly. “There!” she gasped and reached out to grab the biggest bag of chips. “Now…where are you, my favorite dip?” French onion was what she really craved. But she’d settle for any sort of creamy, sour cream based dip. Right next to the salsa options, she found her favorite brand and almost cried with relief. Unfortunately, the beast wouldn’t be satisfied with just one type of dip. Luck was on her side and she found the cheese dip too.
Grabbing two diet cokes and a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups, she made her way to the cashier.
“Hi there!” the woman behind the counter greeted Zuri cheerfully. “Looks like you’re having a party tonight!”
Zuri smiled, shifting anxiously from one foot to the other. She’d heard that observation several times over the years when the nasty beast inside of her needed to be appeased. Generally, she was able to ignore it. But this monster was a bit stronger than the others and she felt a bit panicked. Perhaps because Tarin caused her to feel trapped more than anyone else had in the past. Or maybe she was just feeling the pressure to set a wedding date.
Thankfully, the woman rang up the purchases and put them all into a bag. With a brief smile of thanks, Zuri paid and then took the bag, hurrying out of the store.
The monster clawed at her chest, demanding appease
ment. But looking around, Zuri wasn’t sure where to go! Looking right and left, she breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted a park across the street. There were even some cute benches shaded by the trees. “Perfect!” she sighed and hurried across the street. Before she even sat down, Zuri had the bag of chips open and was munching on the salty, processed treat. With a groan, she sank down onto the bench, closing her eyes as the monster purred with satisfied relief.
Rummaging around in the bag, she pulled out the dip and peeled back the protective sealed cover, then dipped a chip into the dip and shoved it in her mouth, She groaned as the salt hit her taste buds. Normally, she ate healthy foods, whole foods as close to their original state as possible. But when she felt trapped or anxious or…when the stress of her life couldn’t be relieved through exercise, like now when Tarin was demanding a date for their wedding, this monster gained control and she gave into the need to feed it this horrible mess of salty goodness.
Zuri wasn’t particularly hungry, but she opened the other can of dip as well, balancing it on her knee while she gorged. When she couldn’t stand the saltiness any longer, she grabbed the bag of peanut butter and chocolate treats and started in on those, eating one after the other. The craving for sugar gave way again to salt and she started in on the chips again. Back and forth, slowing down as she grew sick. But still, she kept eating.
It was a disease, she knew this. But since it only happened every few years, she didn’t try to stop it, just gave in and relished the crazy craving. Finally, when the thought of eating one more bite might cause her to throw up, she leaned back on the bench and breathed. The monster was appeased. She could breathe and think a bit more clearly again.
That’s when she finally took a good look at her surroundings and she noticed how open and exposed she was here in the park, sitting on a bench. This was dangerous, she suddenly realized. Dangerous and stupid! Sitting up, she looked around, berating herself for being so selfish. What had she been thinking? She’d walked out of Tarin’s house without notifying any of her guards! Obviously, she hadn’t been thinking. That’s what happened when she got so desperate that she couldn’t think – she just…reacted.
Now that this episode was over, she thought more clearly, ashamed of her binge. Standing up, she shoved the remnants of her “feast” into the bag. She hadn’t finished the bag of chips, dips or the chocolate candy, but Zuri didn’t want any of it around. First, she didn’t want evidence for anyone to find. This kind of binge eating was embarrassing and one of her horrible, dirty little secrets. No one could ever know that she didn’t always handle the stress of being in her role.
So, sitting out here in the middle of the park where anyone would be able to see her and snap a photo of her binge eating was a monumentally bad idea. Zuri knew better and had been taught from an early age to keep a low profile so that her personal life stayed private and her public image would remain blemish free. Even worse was the threat of kidnapping. Or being attacked. Being out in the open was never a good idea!
“Great!” she muttered, stuffing the bag of leftovers into a nearby garbage can and headed back towards Tarin’s house. For the first time, she also realized that the sun was setting. How long had she been out here?
Picking up her pace, she walked sedately, but quickly, down the street without drawing attention to herself. Her dark glasses might have been appropriate earlier in the day, but now that evening was descending, her sunglasses would look odd so she pulled them off and lowered her head.
As she walked down the street, another problem occurred to her. When she stayed in a hotel, she could come and go more easily through the multiple entrances available. She knew where her body guards would be stationed and could move around the hotel with a bit more freedom. When she left, no one really noticed. And when she came back, she could sit in the restaurant and pretend she’d been sitting there all along. Her guards never asked questions, just resumed their vigilance.
But the gate upon which she’d left was now guarded by two big men. She couldn’t go in that way. Turning left on the next block, she walked towards the front of the house. Since she didn’t know of any other entrance, she had to either brave going through that guarded gate, and possibly having to explain where she’d come from, or step in through the front door and just…wing it.
Plan in place, she flicked her hair back over her shoulders, but was careful not to move too quickly as her stomach really wasn’t pleased by her potato chip binge. With a nod for luck and feigned confidence, she walked towards the front entrance. Unfortunately, she wasn’t fully aware of her security detail’s presence because as she turned the corner, heading towards the front door, one of her guards stepped out.
As soon as he recognized her, Zuri saw stunned surprise and relief on his features.
“Your Highness!” The guard fumbled for a moment, reaching for his radio. Before Zuri could stop him, he called in her presence outside of the house. A moment later, two guards raced around from the side entrance and another three burst out of the front door.
That would all be embarrassing enough, but besides her guards, Tarin stepped out of the house and…oh boy! He was furious! With long strides, he moved towards her, a threatening look in his dark eyes that didn’t bode well for her.
“Where the hell have you been?” Tarin demanded in a tone that could only be described as a snarl. Unfortunately, he didn’t stop after he asked the question. Instead, he pulled her into his arms, and kissed her thoroughly right there on the street.
Tarin couldn’t believe the rush of intense relief he felt at seeing Zuri. His guards had been searching for her everywhere. None had seen her leave, nor even knew how long she’d been gone. The last point they could trace her was moments before Ilara had gone to sleep. That was more than two hours ago. They’d even contacted some of the threats against him and Jabril over the past few months, wondering if they’d actually followed through on their stupid idea of kidnapping Princess Zuri.
Pulling back, he looked down at her. “Where have you been?” he repeated, his voice rough with worry as he rubbed a comforting hand up and don her back. He couldn’t stop touching her, needing to know that she was safe and alive.
“I just…I needed some time to think.”
He stopped, staring at her, clearly trying to control himself. “Think?” he asked after a pregnant moment. “Think about what?!” he demanded, so furious that he could barely breathe. If anything had happened to her…Tarin didn’t want to even contemplate the possibility of her being hurt or…worse.
“Yes. I needed to think.”
He released the breath he’d been holding, trying to absorb what she’d just said. “Zuri, the entire security team on my end, and yours, have been mobilized, trying to find you. And you just show up, saying you needed to…think?!”
She cringed, but he didn’t think that was enough. He wanted to spank her adorable bottom. He was so furious he could barely speak!
Pulling out of his arms, she had the audacity to glare up at him. “Yes! I wanted to think! That’s something I do every once in a while. Just take a little time to think and figure things out.”
One of his guards muttered something and Tarin looked around. “We’re not finished talking about this,” he warned, taking her hand. “But not out here in the street.” With that, he led her into the house and right back into the salon where he’d made love to her only hours ago.
And then she’d snuck out of the house to…think. Damn it!
Slamming the door, he spun around, ready to confront her but the sight of her, safe and sound, deflated some of his fury. Knowing that he needed to calm down and see things from her perspective, he took a deep breath. Then another. When he felt as if he could confront her without…without doing anything that might scare her, he opened his eyes. “Okay, explain, Zuri. I need to understand what happened.”
Zuri kept her gaze on her hands, folded carefully in her lap, and didn’t answer.
Tarin began pacing back an
d forth, trying to calm his fury. She’d left! She’d just walked out of the house and left! How the hell could she be so reckless? And why the hell hadn’t she come and talked to him? If she was confused about something, she should feel comfortable coming to him, talking to him. She had to know that he would solve any problem she might have!
Okay, that sounded sexist, even in his thoughts. It sounded so bad that he wanted to laugh. Maybe if he wasn’t so furious, so riled up about her being gone and terrified for her safety, he might have laughed, might have even said the words out loud, just to see her eyes sparkle.
That moment wasn’t now.
The more he paced, the angrier he became. Because she wasn’t talking, he was free to imagine all of the things that could have gone wrong, how she might have been hurt, kidnapped…or worse!
He ran his fingers through his hair, but that didn’t help because the action reminded him of how good it had felt when she’d done the same thing earlier this afternoon. He knew now that she was right on the edge of an orgasm when her fingers clenched in his hair or dug into his arms…or wherever she could reach. It was his signal and…hell, now he’d never be able to touch his damn hair? All because of this tiny woman who made him so crazy, he wanted to toss her over his shoulder and carry her away to a place where he could keep her safe. And make love to her until she couldn’t argue with him any longer.
“Zuri, so help me, if you don’t start explaining, I’m going to…” he stopped before he could finish that threat, turning to frown at her.
But as soon as he took in her pale expression, all thoughts of paddling her beautiful bottom vanished.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded, rushing over to her. Her lovely, creamy skin was still pale, but had turned a strange shade of…green. “Zuri?”
Tarin bent down so he could look into her eyes. “Honey, talk to me. Are you sick? Are you ill?”
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