I still longed for his touch, I still dreamt of only him. But somehow we had become comfortable. Complacent in fact. Maybe I was to blame as much as him. Tired after hunting. Too wrapped up in hating my new environment, the new rules I had to play within. Homesick and pining for Samson. With everything that happened in my life - and the fact we weren't communicating as well as we used to - was it any wonder that something would give?
Unfortunately, my connection to Michel had been the one thing to suffer. Without the joining and the Bond, we had to work harder to stay in touch. I prayed to Nut that we could do that. That we could find a way to make it back to us. I would sell my soul to love this man and have him love me back. I hoped he felt the same way.
"I do, ma douce," he whispered against my mouth. "Dear God, I do."
I pulled back and cupped his cheek in my hand, there was a small smattering of stubble along his jaw, it was sexy. His eyes flicked open, amethyst now gracing the blue. He smiled a bright smile. Our audience completely forgotten by both of us, too wrapped up in the other's look to notice Sergei and Nataliya were standing resolutely still.
"Will you try to talk to me?" I asked and received that same pain filled look in reply.
He closed his eyes and shook his head softly. "I can't, ma douce," he said chokingly.
"Why not?" I insisted, determined to get him to open up.
His eyes flicked open slowly and he held my gaze for a second, then brought his forehead down to rest against mine. I noticed a flash of something I thought I'd never see on Michel before. Deception? I wasn't sure. It was gone so quickly, but I had a sinking feeling that what he was about to say was not the truth. Or perhaps, not the full truth anyway.
"Because my vampyre wishes to protect you, beyond all reason."
I huffed out a breath in disappointment. Both for his statement and because I knew it was not the whole reason for his inability to communicate right now. I wasn't sure exactly how I knew this, but I knew there was more to it. And the longer I battled this, the more I began to realise, I was up against something larger than Michel's tendency to over protect me. But what?
"It's the baby," he whispered. I was thinking in an effort to distract me from my current train of thought. "As my vampyre mate, the dragon-within is in charge."
I forced myself to concentrate on his words. They held a ring of truth to them, even if I was sure they weren't the whole truth. Especially as his behaviour had started well before we were made aware of the possibility of a baby. But for now, whatever a dragon considered appropriate behaviour in this type of situation obviously meant his inability to let me in was now compounded by his vampire-within's interference. I only wished this new behaviour was due to him protecting his child and not someone else's. How I longed for this to all be different. For us to be standing here considering the welfare of our child. Flesh of my flesh, flesh of his.
Michel pulled back and smiled sadly at me. "Me too, ma douce." He wanted to have a child with me? Oh how that made my heart ache. "Come," he said with authority, all evidence of the emotional roller coaster we were riding gone. "Let's get changed and make our appointment."
He started leading me out of the room and then paused on the threshold. "Release your vampyres, Lucinda. It is ill mannered to keep them contained so."
What? I glanced over at Sergei and Nataliya, who were both in exactly the same positions, same stances, same facial expressions even, as before.
"Why are they standing like that?" I asked, appalled.
"Because you ordered them not to move," Michel said, shrugging his shoulders elegantly at me.
My jaw dropped in horrified shock. "Bloody hell, you can move!" I blurted out in one quick burst.
They both came alive as though they were Pinocchio. One minute a wooden toy, immobile and at someone's command, the next a living and breathing person. Subject to their own demands. I shook my head and mouthed, sorry as I followed Michel out of the room. Sergei nodded with a solemn expression and Nataliya, thankfully, just snorted in reply.
Michel didn't let go of my hand as we ascended the stairs, finally coming to a stop in Samson's master suite. He turned to look at me, his expression soft. His hand came up and he trailed his fingers over my jaw, his thumb coming to rest on my lips.
"We do not have time to shower, ma belle, but I believe we have a change of clothes here. Wear your hunting dress and jacket. Arm yourself, although they will no doubt be removed. Marcus and Matthias are almost here. We'll leave in five minutes."
Then he turned and strolled into the walk-in wardrobe and started shifting clothing on the rack to find a suit. I didn't have much choice in the matter, but to follow his instructions. They'd been spoken softly and with care, but I still felt like they were given as orders. I wondered if this would be my life for a while, or maybe a long time if I was indeed pregnant. Michel planning our moves and expecting me to comply without argument to whatever he deemed as the best course of action for us both.
Michel had been overly protective with me in the past, but I was thinking his dragon-within might be on a whole different level. Part of me smiled at that, his fierce protectiveness in light of what it meant. If only it were our child. My hand rubbed absently at my belly, unable to contain the fear beginning to rise within. What if I was pregnant? What if I wasn't?
I dressed quickly in one of the dresses Michel had gifted me before he had died. In my usual and comfortable colour of black, it came to about an inch above my knee, slightly flared skirt with a fitted top. Scooped neckline and three quarter sleeves. It was all made from a heavy, stretchy material, but looked as though it was cut to measure and made in a top designer's studio. It was certainly slightly more presentable than my usual hunter garb, but equally as accommodating. I had no issues staking a rogue vampire in this and my Svante sword sheathed nicely down my back, under the matching jacket, which came to rest at the hem of the skirt.
I pulled my dancing dragon necklace out from underneath the dress, letting it rest between my breasts. It looked fantastic against the dark material of the outfit and with the jacket made to hang open, it was always on display, adding a bit of bling to my outfit - appropriately it would seem for tonight. The dragon itself was made of platinum with a blue diamond for an eye and white diamonds in the shape of a lightning bolt crossing the dragon's heart. Michel's heart and my Light slicing through it.
I turned, after placing my stakes, knife and cellphone inside the jacket pockets to find Michel watching me. He was fully dressed in a new dark, dark grey Armani suit, crisply clean white shirt and navy blue silk tie. I hadn't even seen him dressing, I'd missed the entire show. Either he'd done it in record fashion, or I had been daydreaming and time had passed faster than I realised. He stepped towards me and reached out for my necklace, delicately holding the dragon in his hand. He ran a finger over the lightning bolt and then smiled.
"You have captured both our hearts, do you know that, ma douce?" he said softly, still stroking the white diamonds.
"I hope so, because you hold mine," I replied a little breathlessly.
His eyes flicked up to mine, flashes of indigo and violet in their depths. He held my gaze for a moment, opened his mouth to say something, then abruptly shut it again as though he had changed his mind. Was he about to open up? Had his vampire-within stopped him? Or was it something else? Something I had begun to suspect was making it impossible for him to talk about his missions for the Champion. This was so frustrating and there was nothing I could do.
"Je t'aime, ma douce," he said simply and then clasped my hand and led me from the room.
Marcus and Matthias were downstairs when we arrived. I was thrilled to see them, I had missed them for the past few weeks. Blond Marcus with his ever present humour and brunet Matthias with his steadfast outlook on life. They had been my vampire guards for some time, before Sergei and Nataliya came along. I had got used to them, they were like family. It felt right to have them back by our sides.
I rushed forward,
letting go of Michel's hand and threw an arm around each vampire. It wasn't easy, they're built pretty big, but we managed. Their arms coming around to wrap me in an embrace and both vampires lifting me off the floor. I giggled, they laughed and then Michel let out an almighty warning growl.
"Let. Her. Go!" He spoke each word slowly and clearly, I think because he was finding it hard to speak at all.
Both vampires dropped me like I'd burnt them and took several steps back, bowing their heads as one and fisting their hand across their hearts. I staggered backwards, off balance by their quick release, and started to topple over sideways. Nataliya darted forward to catch me, Michel's growl intensified as he pushed her out of the way and I landed hard on my butt. The butt that still ached from my encounter with Sebastian Cole.
I let a breath of air out in a whoosh and grunted at the same time. Michel was in front of me in an instant, his hands running over my face, my neck, arms, body. Lingering over my stomach - not touching, just hovering there. The insides of said stomach suddenly lurched. I didn't want this. It wasn't right.
"Damn him," was all I managed to say, before the tears came uninvited and I crushed myself to Michel's chest.
I was vaguely aware that the vampires had all retreated into the front room, leaving me somewhat alone wrapped in Michel's arms. He'd sat himself down on the floor and had lifted me onto his outstretched legs, snug against his waist. One hand caressed my hair and down my neck as I rested my head against his chest, the other wrapped around my stomach, holding me securely. Keeping me safe.
"If you are pregnant," Michel started slowly and softly whispering in my ear, "it is your child as much as his. We will love him or her no matter what." He hesitated, took a deep breath in and then said, even more quietly so I had to strain to understand, "I cannot give you what you want, but maybe... Lutin has." I could feel him swallowing painfully. "I want you to be happy, ma douce. I would do anything to keep you happy."
I just didn't know what to think. Be grateful that he was being so accepting? Be alarmed that he was being so accepting? Want the baby? Don't want the baby? I wrapped my own arm around my stomach just below Michel's. This was getting out of hand, all because a lunatic, delusional fairy fucker said so. Part of me wanted to believe it was true, but the part of me that is all hunter, the part of me that does not fall apart at the seams and never shows fear, never gives an inch and always stays on guard, wanted this solved once and for all.
But time was not on our side, we were already late and keeping the Master of any City waiting was not a healthy plan at all. Michel helped me to my feet and I gave him a small smile. He shook his head and frowned down at me, worry etched around his eyes.
"Just give me a minute?" I asked, kissing him on the cheek. He held on to my hand for a few seconds and then with what looked like a monumental amount of effort, slowly let my hand go.
I rushed off to the downstairs bathroom and splashed water on my face as quickly as I could, then went in search of Kathleen. She was in the kitchen with Matthew. Both heads popping up from the papers they were reading at the table and smiling wide, then their expressions slowly fell at what was obviously not my best game face, it would seem.
"Hi," I said unoriginally. "Can you do me a favour?" I addressed Kathleen - and Matthew, with his innate sense of understanding, stood quietly from the table and exited the room.
After asking my favour and receiving a concerned but loving motherly embrace I returned to the impatiently waiting vampires in the front room.
"OK, let's go!" I instructed before anyone could complain. Michel was beside me in a flash of dark colours, his arm wrapping possessively about my shoulders.
"Everything all right?" he asked in a low voice.
I just nodded, unwilling to dwell on those things right now.
We all piled into the Range Rover, which happened to have extra seats in the rear. Marcus and Nataliya looked a little ridiculous in the back of the vehicle, but they didn't utter a sound of complaint. A wise move, considering Michel's mood. He was entering his austere, disassociated, political space, wherever it is he goes when he has an Iunctio meeting to attend. This dinner wasn't with one of the council members, but it was with a powerful - both physically and politically - vampire. Although not as powerful as Michel, Amun could make our lives a living hell.
I also wasn't sure what to make of the Egyptian vampire. He'd appeared a little unstable last night, but then I'd been a challenge no doubt. I fished my cellphone out of my pocket and thumbed through my contacts. Michel didn't even blink in my direction, too far gone wherever it is he needed to go. Finding Amisi, I did a quick mental calculation and realised it was about midday in New Zealand and she was probably going to be asleep. I bit my lip and sucked in a breath. This was important, I'm sure she'd forgive my interrupting her beauty sleep.
The phone rang once, twice, three times and I thought it was bound to just go straight through to her voice mail box, but then was finally answered with a whole lot of banging and crashing and swearing in French. Oh crap.
"What?" Gregor woken from a deep sleep, not a very appealing thought. Michel's head slowly turned to watch me, a small smirk twisting the edges of his lips.
I blew a long breath out and then launched into my defence. "Hey, Gregor! It's Luce. I'm sorry to wake you but it's important."
"Are you sure, ma petite chasseuse? I shall be very disappointed if it is not," came his sardonic reply, but all I could think was thank God he had used his old nick-name for me. Things were looking up.
"Yeah, it is... um... can I speak to Amisi please?"
"What makes you think she is here?" he asked warily.
I sighed, he hadn't quite woken up I think. "Gregor, you answered her phone. Put her on. Please?"
"Hmm," came down the line and then a little more muffled. "The cat is out of the bag, ma ange. Je suis désolé."
"You don't sound sorry," Amisi muttered and then down the phone line asked in a groggy voice, "Luce? What's wrong?"
"Um, nothing," I answered automatically and she humphed back at me. "Have you found out anything about Amun Nadeem?"
I could hear Amisi shuffling down the line - maybe sitting up in bed? I wasn't sure. I could also hear Gregor's protests, which he wasn't attempting to hide at all. Michel chuckled softly beside me, clearly quite amused.
"Awan knows him, but could offer nothing that would really help. He's ambitious, powerful, was in line for the Cairo Master of the City role, but deferred to Awan at the last minute. He has a fairly large entourage and favours the flamboyant over the restrained." She hesitated briefly, then added, "Awan did say that he was surrounded by sycophants. He needed their attention. Those are Awan's words, not mine."
Not anything I hadn't already figured out for myself, but at least Amisi hadn't mentioned something to be alarmed about just yet. Amun was an attention seeker and craved it like a drug addict craves their next fix. I shook my head, unsure what knowing this would do to help us.
"Thanks, sweetie," I said instead. "Sorry to wake you," I added and then louder said, "I've known for a while, Gregor, so don't lose any sleep over it!"
"I don't intend to, ma petite," came his voice from some distance away. And then obviously to Amisi, "Now that we're awake, ma ange..." he said in a softly suggestive voice.
"Um, is that all, Luce? 'Cause I... um... need the bathroom. Yeah, gotta pee."
I started laughing. "Whatever lets you sleep at night, Nosferatin. You know, you should just join with the man and get it over and done with, " I added as a last minute thought.
She choked a sound out in reply and hurriedly rang off. I was left staring at the phone quietly amused. After a few seconds I slipped it away inside a pocket and when my hand came down to rest at my side, Michel scooped it up and started running his thumb across the back.
"Are they compatible, ma douce? Gregor was not sure last time we spoke."
Huh, I hadn't thought about that. I'd just assumed they'd tested the theory already
. When a suitable kindred vampire says the name of our kind to one of us - an unjoined Nosferatin - they receive a response which would indicate whether they are in fact compatible kindred or not. With Michel, I had fallen asleep at his feet. An unusual response, but one unique to us. He'd been visiting my dreams for some time by then and I always felt safe when he met me there.
"I don't know, I just assumed," I answered suddenly feeling I'd overstepped the mark. I hoped Amisi would understand. It would be truly awful if they didn't match. In my mind they were destined for each other.
"Gregor is too scared to try," Michel added unexpectedly. He didn't usually betray someone's confidence like this. It was not something I needed to know and Amisi would tell me if she wanted me to be aware. Michel speaking out of turn was something new, he was a better politician than this.
But then, hadn't I wanted Michel to confide in me? Was this his way of letting me in? Of opening up? When he couldn't, for some reason, open up about his trips away.
I offered him a smile and shrugged my shoulders. "They'll figure it out," I said trying to steer the conversation away from dangerous ground.
He didn't say anything for a while and then out of nowhere, he said in a soft voice the others in the car would still be able to hear, "I miss our joining."
Oh Goddess. Not now, I'd only cry again. He squeezed my hand and whispered, "I just wanted you to know."
We pulled up outside the Vibe not long afterwards and I was in no way prepared. My throat felt dry, my eyes stung with threatening tears and my heart ached - a body wrenching pain deep down inside. I was also aware I was suffering from lack of contact with my joined kindred. I'd have to Dream Walk to Avery before the night was through. The thought of facing him after what Michel had just admitted, made it all so much worse.
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