by Tara Brown
Either way, no sister did that.
“Yeah, you’re night and day, there is no doubt about that.” He smiled and his eyes twinkled like they held a secret. The kind that only the person he loved would understand. He was a treasure chest. If you were lucky enough to find the key, you could spend a lifetime enjoying what was inside.
“I’m glad about that. Alise is nuts.” I glanced up at the sky again when his eyes stayed on my face. The intensity of them made me uncomfortable. It made my stomach feel weird—good weird.
“You look nice tonight. Finally wearing colors again, huh?” His voice seemed laced with some kind of emotion.
I eyed him quizzically. “Yeah, how did you notice I was only wearing black?”
“I notice you, Aimee, more than you think.”
My heart stopped.
Those were magic words. The boy I always dreamed of was hitting on me.
I didn’t know what to say or do.
Maybe he was just being nice to me or maybe I was overreacting like an idiot. His eyes didn’t seem to say kind; they looked more like steamy. I smiled inside, enjoying the moment. I wanted him to move closer. I wanted him to stretch his hand across the grass and take mine. I would betray my sister like a giant jerk, just to feel the touch of his hand once. I could use her logic: what happened in the dark didn’t count.
My brain whispered that Alise had already been there and polluted that. It wasn’t that I truly cared, but I needed an excuse not to like him. Whether I hated Alise or not, I wasn’t her. I changed my mind, admitting to myself I couldn’t steal my sister’s boyfriend.
“I noticed you were different tonight, right away.”
“Alise got ahold of me. She’s against black, unless it’s a cocktail dress or lingerie. She was savage about it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister, but I would never date anyone who’s that abusive. I guess guys tolerate a lot more than girls do though.” What was I saying?
He sounded lost in his thoughts. “Yeah, otherwise the world would stop going ‘round.”
“I guess.”
We sat in silence, staring at the stars for a long time.
“So Blake isn’t the one for you, huh?” he asked again but sounded more nonchalant.
“Nope. I guess I thought we should be together ‘cause we’re the same type of person, you know? I liked having him there, knowing someone liked me.”
“Well, that sounds ridiculous. You want to keep him on standby, so you know someone likes you?”
“No.” I grimaced. “I mean, I guess. Everything sounds bad when you say it like that, all judgmental and hateful. You make me sound like Alise.”
He laughed. “Sorry, I’m not really one of those sugarcoat people. I know you’re nothing like her.”
He bit his lip for a moment and then muttered, “So you aren’t in love with him?”
“No.” My brain whispered again, just embarrassed.
“You’re so amazing, Aimee. You don’t need boys on standby. You just need to go for the right guy. He’s not the only guy who could like you if you started letting people in.” His eyes locked on mine and he leaned toward me. I could see it in his gaze. He was fully going to kiss me. His blue eyes lit up. “I have something I want to tell you.”
“What?” My stomach twisted into knots.
He bent his face down, but just as I felt his breath upon my lips, we were interrupted by a crash behind us.
“Son of a friggin’—what the hell was that?”
Shane pulled away from me and we both looked back at my sister stumbling down the lawn. “Shane, are you out here? Who’s that girl with you?”
She was drunk already? Hadn’t we just arrived?
I glared, judging her the entire time. “It’s me, you idiot.” I spoke clearly so she could catch every inch of my annoyance.
“Oh, it’s just you. Dear God, Aimes, you scared the crap outta me. I thought some ho was out here trying to steal my man.” She plopped down on the grass as ungracefully as possible. “We need more snacks and drinks. I don’t know where they are,” she spoke lazily as she nearly landed right on me.
“It was nice sitting in the quiet with you, Shane. See you inside.” I stood up and left them. My face was on fire from the near kiss.
I glanced back to see him watching me go. He seemed to want to say something, but he didn’t. Instead, Alise pushed his arm and giggled about something.
The arguing started as I walked along the dark grass back to the house.
I wanted to tell myself he was probably drunk, but that wasn’t it. I knew Shane better than that. He had noticed all I wore was black. He had noticed I’d changed that today. He had wanted me to come. And he’d noticed me and Alise weren’t the same.
I wanted to tell myself not to be excited, not to get my hopes up in any way. But my hopes were already through the moon.
Shane friggin’ liked me.
For whatever reason, he was dating my sister, but he liked me.
When I got to the stairs Blake was standing at the door, gazing out at the backyard.
Not ready to have that conversation, I ducked along the hedge and crept to the other side of the house. I slipped in the front door to get lost in the crowd.
I wasn’t ready to go back to normal yet. I was full of mixed emotions I needed to analyze alone with Jane Austen and my dad.
Which Austen man was Shane? Captain Wentworth maybe, to my Anne Elliot? No. He hadn’t ever declared his love to me. He was Knightley to my Emma. Oh my God, I was Emma.
I fought my way through the hallways surrounded by noise and people acting crazy. The house was so full I couldn’t even place faces anymore. It was a sea of people getting trashed. I knew everyone in the house in one way or another, but it was so crowded their faces seemed to blend together.
I headed up the stairs in the family room to the bedrooms and sat in the hallway on the carpet against the wall that vibrated from the music. I was grateful no one was there while I mulled things over.
“Hey!” Giselle interrupted my peace. She staggered up the stairs, smiling when I saw her. “Hey, girl, you’re just the person I wanted to see. I have a drink we can, like, share. It’s, like, way too packed downstairs.” Thankfully, she passed me the glass before she sat down, not spilling it everywhere. She scooched up close. “Have some lemonade, Aimes.”
“What’s in it?”
“Nothing, just a bit of vodka. You need a little vodka, I think. I saw you in the living room and you seemed sad so I brought vodka.”
I nearly turned her down but the party was still going strong. She was too drunk to finish the whole thing alone, and I wasn’t going home any time soon. I decided to be a rebel.
The rebel who shared the drink with someone else. The rebel who would still be sober enough to drive home. I even sucked at being rebellious.
“All right.” I took a sip, shuddering from the warmth of the liquor burning the whole way down. For a cold drink it singed. “Wow.” I choked as I passed it back. “It tastes good, but it’s not really my thing. Who made it?”
“One of the bartender dudes downstairs.” It did taste great, and if it weren’t for the burn, I never would have known it had booze in it.
“There’s bartenders here?” I cocked an eyebrow.
“No, like one of the guys mixing drinks.” Giselle took a sip and passed the glass back. “Hot guys give me drinks all the time, dummy—I’m hot. You need a little more than that tiny sip you had. You still look sad.”
“I probably shouldn’t.”
“Aimes, it’s like one glass for two people. It’ll help you relax. Have fun. Boys like fun girls and I think Shane likes you. He always talks about you. You should steal him from your sister.” She laughed, not realizing what she was saying.
“He talks about me?”
She giggled harder. “Yeah, all the time. It makes Alise nuts. Here, your turn.”
“Are you serious?” I took the drink, lost in what she’d said but then she started
rambling again.
“Yeah, the day they started dating he was going to ask you out, but Alise told him you were already into one of those dorks you’re always with. Shane seemed sad. Alise said she would cheer him up.”
“What?” My stomach tensed. I chugged back the drink. My heart raced. Alise had stopped the one guy I had liked forever from asking me out?
What kind of sick, twisted person did that?
“You’re not like your sister, you know? You’re, like, easier to be around. She is really high maintenance.” Ironically, Alise would have said the same thing about Giselle. She took the drink and gulped. “Oh my God, speaking of high maintenance, did you hear Angela is in the hospital, like dying, dude? She’s crazy sick. Some perv raped her.”
“Creepy. I did hear. What happened?”
“Date raped and left in the woods by the side of the road to Handley. Total shitshow.” She gave me a look. “Girls need to buddy up at parties, it’s a rule. Here, have some more.”
“Okay.” I didn’t know what I was doing but was able to rationalize it as a small glass of booze between two people. I just needed something to distract myself, seeing the possible threat of my legs getting up and walking to Shane. I would kiss him on the mouth and get slapped around by my sister. In my shocked state, I would probably kill her.
Giselle started to babble but my thoughts were stuck on Shane. I wanted to steal him from my sister. She had stolen him from me first. So I would actually be taking what was mine. That sounded weird. Mine.
Unexpectedly, the most awkward thing occurred: Giselle started making sense and I liked the way she nattered on.
After a while, I looked her straight in the face and said as matter-of-factly as I could, “Giselle, I love you. You’re so awesome. Thanks for telling me my sister stole Shane from me.”
She laughed and pointed at me. “I know, right? She’s a bad person, Aimes. Like a real one.” Her face was serious. I watched her lips moving and started to laugh again.
“You have pretty lips.”
“I know.” She giggled and I giggled and then it got progressively worse, even though we had only drunk the one glass of lemonade. After a while I slipped down the wall, unable to push myself back up to sitting.
“I love you, Aimes.” Giselle lay down beside me, and I tried to talk but my mouth couldn’t make words anymore.
Then noises and pictures came in fuzzy flashes.
My sister laughing.
Giselle being carried away.
Blake standing alone in the hallway.
Alise next to him.
They started talking but then my sister grabbed Blake’s face and started to kiss him. Blake grabbed her back and pulled her up into him. They were making out, and as luck would have it, my eyes were stuck open. I couldn’t get my eyes to shut. They ignored my brain. I watched the painful moment while drooling on myself and unable to control my body. A voice made them stop and Alise went down the stairs, leaving me with Blake. He brushed my hair from my face and smiled. He said something I couldn’t catch and my eyes shut.
When they opened I felt like I was floating. There was no sound whatsoever. The music was gone, but I was still in the hallway.
Though I wasn’t lying on the floor anymore. I turned around and saw a figure slumped on the floor. I grimaced at her hideous pink top. She looked sick. I reached for her but my hand went through the girl’s body like mist.
I came closer and realized I was the girl on the floor.
I was the corpse girl on the floor turning blue.
Where was everyone else?
I screamed but no sound came from my mouth.
I tried to bang the walls.
Seriously, where was everyone?
My face turned gray. I got closer to the pile of what appeared to be vomit by my lips. My body was choking.
Where were the idiots who had left me in the hallway to die?
I turned back around to find someone with me.
“Hey! Help me!” I jumped up and down and waved, but he didn’t see me. It was Wade from Port Handley. He knelt beside my body and did something I definitely didn’t fantasize about when I saw his face the first time. He stuck his fingers into my throat and started fishing around in there.
I cringed, watching a strange guy root around in my mouth, and tried not to think about the sanitary issues. I needed to remember to at the very least rinse with mouthwash when I woke from my nightmare. His hands were huge and stretching my mouth as he fished like he was going for the last pickle in the jar.
Wade paused what he was doing and looked up at me, his piercing blue eyes wide. He seemed scared and his mouth moved but I heard nothing.
I glanced behind me to see who he was talking to but no one was there.
Was he able to see me?
“Can you see me?” I waved my arms back and forth and he waved me over to him. He ignored me and put his hand into my mouth again, and this time my body heaved and shook as piles of vomit started to pour out in front of me.
It was like The Exorcist, and I was barfing all over the hottest guy I had ever seen. His eyes were panicked as he pointed to my body again. I took a step forward and everything went dark. When there was light again, I endured pain, agonizing pain. I wasn’t floating any longer. I was drowning. My body convulsed as I fought, coughing and heaving repeatedly.
My world spun.
I reached my hand out and wiped my mouth off. I was on the floor and everything hurt in ways I didn’t know were possible.
Wade from Port Handley spoke, “Welcome back, Aimee. You scared the hell out of me.”
The smell of my vomit was more than I could bear. I heaved and threw up on the floor in front of me.
“Wow.” He appeared startled. “Next time chew the veggie burger all the way through, okay?” He picked me up off the floor. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He lifted me like a princess.
I laid my face against his chest and felt like I was floating.
He carried me to the bathroom, but in the mirror he wasn’t there—my reflection was, but his was missing.
I closed my eyes and pressed really hard, but when I opened them he still wasn’t in the mirror. “I must be dreaming.”
He smiled and laughed. “Yeah, you’re dreaming. Weird things happen in dreams, like people having no reflections.”
He didn’t need a reflection. He had saved me.
Chapter 7
Drugs change everything
Pain was everywhere.
Everything was burning and hurting.
My skin ached and my head pounded.
I couldn’t move my head properly.
Something was in the way, trapping me.
I twitched one eye open, letting in the light. It made everything burn much worse. I winced as my eye opened completely, seeing a strange room.
“Hello?” I croaked. My body pounded with my heartbeat.
Was I still at Shane’s house?
I opened my other eye, feeling sicker.
My mouth tasted like I might have been sick recently. I tried to think about where I had been, but all I remembered was Wade from Port Handley and Shane’s party.
Straining, I reached a trembling hand up and touched the towel still wrapped on my head. I pulled at it, trying to get it off, but I couldn’t. It was folded in a bizarre way I had never folded a towel. Giving up on it, my eyes darted around the room.
It was small, with a queen bed and floral print everywhere. It screamed guest room. I lifted the covers to reveal my naked body and gasped. I glanced at the water glass on the right bedside table and contemplated the towel on my head and knew someone had put me here. I always put my glass of water on the left. Fear and panic started to mix in my already fragile mind as I wondered who had put me to bed and where the hell I was.
Using every inch of strength, I sat up, only to shudder as I wrapped myself with the sheet and searched for clothes. I fought the urge to scream or pass out again.
I took a
breath and tried to remember what they had told us in defense class.
Nothing came up that seemed to apply to the moment. Everything involved effort and balance.
I pulled the towel off after some work. It reminded me of the way African women folded their headdresses. My hair was still wet, of course. Long, thick hair would not dry in a towel, which was why I would never fall asleep with one on my head. My hair fell around my face in a ball of unconditioned mats. Forget putting me to bed; had someone really been mean enough to wash my hair but not condition it?
Pulling the sheet tighter to cover myself, I realized my ring was gone. My mom’s ring wasn’t on my right hand. I had showered, slept, and lived in that ring from the day my mom died. I had cleaned the blood off it myself after the accident.
The door creaked open and Alise peeked her head through the crack. I wanted to jump for joy the moment I saw her, but figured I would probably get sick if I did.
She sighed as she stepped in. “Oh my God—you’re okay.”
“Where am I?”
“Shane’s.”
I put a hand up to stop her. “No shouting. Not okay. Stop shouting at me.”
“What do you remember? Do you remember being at the party?”
“No.” I shivered. “Wait. Yeah. We were at Shane’s house. I remember that guy, Wade.”
She gasped. “Giselle’s in the hospital. Aimee, we think someone drugged her. We thought it was just too much to drink but then they said it might be drugs.” She sat on the bed beside me, rubbing my arms. Her hand was like razor blades dragging up my skin. I shivered in pain and sickness. “We need to take you there now. You’ve been throwing up all night and you were drinking with her.” She put an arm under me to help me stand. “I need to get you into a robe at least, okay?”
“Okay.” I needed a hospital. I had no idea what she was talking about, but I was sick in a way I’d never been before.
“Where is he?” I was still foggy on everything.
“Blake?” Alise blushed.