The Roses Academy- the Entire Collection

by Tara Brown

  “Sounds reasonable.”

  He put his head in his hands. I sat on the bench across the hall from him.

  “There’s a reason I’ve been keeping to myself.” He clearly struggled with whatever he needed to say. “The night of the party, you and I went and sat in the sunroom at Shane’s house. It was the make-out room, kind of weird. Anyway, we were sitting there and you decided at that moment to tell me you liked me more than a friend. I was shocked. I had no idea. I thought we were best friends. I handled it badly because the truth is I have been in love with your sister, forever. So I told you I didn’t feel the same way.”

  “Oh God.” I cringed as I realized I had manned up and told him we matched.

  “Yeah.” His eyes pleaded with me. “Aimes, I love you too but in a different way, and when Alise and I break up, which we both know will happen, I hope you and I will still be friends. More than friends. Like before. Like you’re my sister, not hers.”

  “Uhhhh.” I had no idea how to respond to the conversation.

  He continued, “I never would have acted on my feelings for her if I thought for a minute you and I would stop being friends. I always assumed you were in love with Shane. I saw the way you watched him. It was the same expression I always got when I saw your sister. I figured maybe things with you and Shane would work out and we could all be friends.” He dropped his face into his hands. “It’s my fault you went and drank with Giselle, it’s my fault you drank poison, and it’s my fault everything is the way it is,” he moaned, still holding his face, refusing to make eye contact with me.

  I closed my mouth and pressed my lips together. I wanted to speak, but I couldn’t think of what to say. I was humiliated. My wall wanted to come up. I just couldn’t cope with anything else. But I didn’t let it.

  “Blake, you have been my best friend my whole life. I don’t know what I said, but I know I wasn’t in love with you, even if I briefly thought I was. I must’ve been so desperate not to be single anymore that I thought you and I should try to date. I was taking the first big step ‘cause I thought you would never. I don’t remember saying that to you, but it makes sense now why I went and drank with Giselle. I’m sure I was embarrassed. Sort of like I am now. I’m sorry I told you that.”

  He looked up at me and whispered in desperation, “Aimes, can you understand animal lust?” His stare was haunted in a way I had never seen.

  “I can.”

  “I’m in love with her so bad.” His words stung him to admit.

  “We need to finish this later. I’m exhausted and I need to go, not to run off, but I don’t feel well. Tell Mr. Milton I was sick, okay?” My side hurt a lot but I kept walking. I needed the doctors, but I walked to my mom’s spot and plopped onto the side of the road. I looked at the mark I had made in the tree and waited for the wind to come.

  I didn’t know what to say to my mom. I just knew I needed her. “Mom, I’m sorry I was gone for so long.”

  “Aimee?” I turned to see Aleksander walking toward me. He appeared worried. “Why are you alone in the woods again?”

  “This isn’t the woods. Why are you here?”

  “I was out for a walk. This is the way I walk all the time. It’s peaceful here.” He paused as he got closer. “Are you okay?”

  “No. I just miss my mom.” I started to cry.

  He sat on the ground beside me and patted my hand awkwardly. “It’s okay.” It was weird that he did it, but even weirder that I didn’t find it uncomfortable in the slightest. It was exactly what I needed. Someone to sit on the road while I cried and made no sense to anyone but me.

  I started to feel better after I had a cry. It wasn’t hard to relax around him. He was a stranger, but I felt close to him. I couldn’t explain it. He’d saved my life, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

  “It’s going to be okay.”

  “No. It’s not okay because I’m not ready to not have a mom. I still need her.”

  “She went to Heaven, Aimee. She’s with the angels now.”

  “I don’t care,” I retorted.

  Aleksander didn’t add anything else. He just sat so I wasn’t alone.

  When I stopped crying completely and took my first shudder-free breath, he muttered, “What are some things you need to ask your mom?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Like things you wish you could ask her?”

  I thought for a moment. “Why did you leave me?”

  “What else?”

  “How will I know how to be a woman without you? What if I can’t remember what you look like in five years? What if I forget your smell? What if I can’t get past this and I ruin the rest of my life? Did you know you loved Dad from the moment you met him? Is safe love better than true love or are they the same thing sometimes? I don’t know what I want to be anymore. I feel like if I choose sciences completely, I will lose the part of me that is you. Where did you hide the last jar of Grandma’s pickled beets?”

  “Beets?” He started laughing. “What beets?”

  I snorted. “We made a promise we would only eat them when we were together. She hid the jars so I couldn’t eat them without her. But before we got to eat the last one, she died. I still can’t find it, and my dad and I have scoured the house.”

  Aleksander laughed harder. “You are the most intriguing person I have ever met. Ready to move on and walk a little ways?”

  “Your butt must be getting sore.”

  “It is. I don’t know how you sit here on the concrete so easily.”

  “You have to build a concrete callus.” I laughed and noticed I was feeling way better.

  We walked along the roadside, kicking rocks toward the ditch.

  “Tell me about your mom,” I said, trying to distract myself.

  He smiled. “She was the most amazing mom ever. She made me feel loved every day. She was a very giving person. I only hope I was able to be someone she was proud of, even for a time. Now, why were you so upset when I came upon you?”

  “Oh, it’s nothing. I think the feelings I’ve had over the last little while are all coming to a head, like I am coming to the end of a long journey, and I have to unpack from it.”

  “That’s amazing. I admire that about you. You’re able to articulate what it is you’re trying to say and then make a visual. The person listening gets a full picture of what you’re talking about.”

  I laughed. “That’s because my sister doesn’t read books without pictures. I always have to have a visual comparison available or she’s lost.”

  We walked, laughing and talking until we got to my house.

  “Want to come in and meet my dad?” I asked, hoping to have more time with him.

  “No, thank you. I need to get going. I was walking in the other direction, when you distracted me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He grinned. “Don’t be. I’m glad I could be there for you.”

  Just as he was about to say goodbye, my sister’s car pulled into the driveway. She was out and flashing her smile before I could push him and shout “run for it.”

  “Well, well. You must be the mystery man. I’m Alise, Aimee’s older sister.” She put her hand out for him to take like she was the queen.

  He turned her hand in his and shook it normally. “I’m Aleksander. It’s nice meeting you. See you later, Aimee.” He let go of her hand and walked away quickly.

  We watched in silence as he walked hastily away from us.

  “Wow.”

  “Yup.”

  “They weren’t kidding. He is hot. He looks like a celebrity. I feel so—I don’t know—like I know him from somewhere.” She licked her lips and cocked an eyebrow. “I’ll see if I can catch up with him. Maybe he wants a ride.” She winked at me, ran back to her car, and drove off in the direction he went. I wanted to strangle her, but I went inside and ate coconut-milk ice cream instead.

  Blake sent a text asking if I was going to the party later. I ignored the message and watched the Histor
y Channel. It was about the Tudors.

  My sister never came home.

  She left a message for our dad, saying she was sleeping at Jaime’s house—her new BFF since Giselle had gotten sick. Jaime was another one of the popular crowd my sister insisted on being attached at the hip with.

  I tapped my foot and wondered if Aleksander would be at the party. Had my sister stopped him from getting to his destination with her tempting good looks, he probably would be going tonight. The thought of them kissing enraged me. I started to feel like a crazed psycho.

  My phone made another noise. I glanced at the message from Shane asking if I wanted to go to the party or just hang with him and watch a movie. The movie sounded pretty tempting at that moment. My sister could have Aleksander if he was dumb enough to fall for her. My foot twitching reached a whole new level.

  “Aargh.” I stood up and stormed to my sister’s bedroom to get a pretty outfit since my whole closet could belong to Wednesday Adams. I messaged Shane and told him to pick me up at nine. Then I flipped through the closet selection. I assumed if it was hung, she either cared for it or it was clean.

  I grabbed at the hangers, in search of just the right item.

  At the very back, I found it.

  Something she loved.

  Vaguely, I recalled her buying it with Giselle. I grinned, the evil boiling in my blood as I stormed back to my room.

  I put the dress on and gazed at myself, frowning.

  Who was I kidding?

  My long blonde hair was stringy, my eyes had dark circles under them, my chapped lips were still peeling, and my long, thin face was making my nose appear birdlike. My gray-blue eyes had a small amount of sparkle but nothing to write home about. The only thing working for me was that I had managed to gain back a bit of weight and I had breasts again. The dress looked pretty good on my body but cutting off my head was not an option.

  So I did the only thing I could think of. I phoned Giselle.

  “Hello.” Her voice sounded weaker than normal.

  “Were you sleeping?” I felt bad.

  She laughed. “God, yes. All I do is sleep. What’s shakin’ bacon?”

  I laughed at bacon. “I am going to a party tonight, stealing my sister’s clothes, and I don’t know how to do my makeup. I still look bad from being sick.” I regretted saying it the minute I did, but she ignored it.

  “Oh my God.” She burst out laughing. “I’ve never been more proud than I am at this moment. Which outfit?”

  I looked down at the dress, letting an evil grin cross my lips. “The red one. It still has the tags on it. It’s from the back of her closet.”

  There was silence. “Bro. That’s the one she got on harsh sale at Holt Renfrew in Vancouver. Okay, you’re a beautiful blonde with plump lips and blue eyes in a red dress; you aren’t going to need much. Is your face clean?”

  “Give me a second.” I wiped quickly with stolen makeup wipes from Alise’s room. “Okay, clean slate. What do I do?”

  “What kind of materials am I dealing with here?” Giselle’s tone was serious in all of this.

  I glanced down at the old kit my mom had given me a year earlier and grimaced. “You know those kits you get from Walmart that have everything all in one? Like a painter’s palette.”

  I heard a sigh. “Dear God, I knew it.” She went quiet for a moment and started to speak again, “Okay, this is what you’re going to do.”

  She led me through the makeup, the hair, and the shoes.

  When the doorbell rang and my dad called up to me, I whispered into the phone, “Thanks, Giselle. See you next week, okay?”

  “Uh, speaking of visits, are you bringing the new hottie in your life or just regular old Shane?” Her voice was full of sarcasm.

  “Stop getting your news from Facebook,” I groaned. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with Shane. He said he likes me and we kind of kissed. I like him. But I also really like that Aleksander, the guy I was telling you about with the crazy blue eyes.”

  “Oh my God, Aimee. He could be the psycho.” She sounded panicked.

  “No.” I shook my head as if she could see me. “No, it’s not him. His lips aren’t the same at all. I think he sees me as a friend. My sister probably has her claws in him already anyway. He’s hot and new. So I guess Shane is the one who might come with me to see you.”

  “So he kissed you. Was that your first kiss?”

  “Yeah. It was nice.” I blushed, smiling hard. I looked at myself in the mirror and knew Shane made me happy. My face transformed talking about him.

  She moaned, “Aww, I’m so bummed. I’m missing your first party with a boyfriend, sort of. Good luck tonight. Don’t drink anything you didn’t open.”

  “Yeah, lesson learned.” I hadn’t told her or anyone about Aleksander, but it seemed the news had even traveled to a children’s hospital in the city. Sad really. Damn Facebook.

  I ended the call and left the room, starting down the staircase. I was one of those cheesy movies: overly made-up girl walking down the stairs. She was always a nerd transformed into a hottie. Her date of course was at the bottom, staring up at her the whole way down.

  But I focused more on the stairs than anything. The shoes Giselle had picked were high heeled, and I was unstable in sneakers.

  When I got to the bottom, I realized my side cramps were back. I felt bloated and sort of gross but I pushed it aside.

  “Dear God, what are you wearing? Go put something on,” my dad groaned at me.

  “Dad, Alise wears less to church.”

  “Church?” He scoffed. “If Alise went to a church it would light on fire instantly. Besides, you’re my jeans and tee shirt daughter. I expect certain things from you. Just like I expect certain things from her, my high-heel wearing daughter. You’re not supposed to interchange like this.”

  “Stop being weird.” I kissed my dad on the cheek and glanced over at Shane who smiled up from the TV and then did a double take.

  “Aimes?” He resembled a kid who just got his favorite toy. “You look amazing, but your dad’s right. You look a bit like your sister tonight. I like you better the other way.”

  “I like that you said that.” I smiled back at him, taking his arm. “I’m going to need your arm tonight. These shoes are death.”

  “They make you tall.”

  “Yeah, they weren’t even the highest in the closet. I think these are three-inch heels.”

  He glanced down. “I’d say, at least. You’re almost as tall as I am and I’m over six feet.”

  My dad seemed worried. “Have fun. Take the shoes off if they hurt your feet.”

  “Night, Dad.” I laughed and waved back at him as we left through the front door.

  He waved us off. “Please take it easy and slow. Drink nothing. Shane, do not take your eyes off her, no matter what. Please, Aimee, for the love of God and all things holy, do not go into any woods. No matter what.”

  Chapter 16

  Just call me Veronica Mars, with a cramp

  The party was at some girl’s house I didn’t really know. I knew who she was, but I had not spoken to her since second grade. Her name was Michelle Mitchell, and she had a party every month when her parents left for the city. They’d had a monthly date night since she was old enough to stay home alone. My sister had partied at their house for the last two years. The Mitchells didn’t seem to mind the partying as long as there was no mess.

  As we pulled up to the house, Shane leaned over. “You look pretty, so I want you to stay glued to my side all night. Okay?” He kissed me softer than he had before, and his tongue slipped into my mouth. It was an exciting feeling. I kissed him back, moving the way he did, until his hand moved up into my hair, pulling me into him more.

  “Not here, okay?” I pushed against him.

  He leaned down and kissed the side of my throat once. I didn’t know what to do to get my inner calm back. My pheromones were going nuts on his.

  He opened his door and came arou
nd to my side to open my door for me. He growled as he helped me out of the truck and kissed me once more. “That dress is driving me nuts.”

  “I find it a tad ironic how people get so wrapped up in clothing when their goal is to take them off.”

  He took my hand and grinned. “Let’s not talk about taking dresses off.”

  “You know what I mean.” I hit him in the arm, hurting my hand.

  “I do.” He sounded funny.

  We walked up to the house, but before we got to the door he stopped me. “Aimes, I’m not trying to pressure you, but I just want to know what you’re thinking about us and everything.”

  “Okay.” It was a fair request. “I am confused right now, Shane. I went from living my quiet life with no friends or boys interested in me to dating you, sort of, and my best friend being a girl dying in a hospital bed. You dated my sister and now my old BFF is dating my sister. I’m leaving for college in a few months and my mom died like nine months ago. Some freak is stalking me. This has all happened really quickly for me, and I don’t feel caught up. So right now I can offer you what we are, dating sort of.”

  He kissed me again. “I didn’t really think about how much you are coping with, which is selfish, but I will take anything I can get at this moment.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled at him and walked through the door he opened for me.

  The party was loud and annoying, and I couldn’t help but think about how much I was going to hate it. There were drunken people everywhere, mixed with loud music and couples making out in one corner while others did shots in another.

  I glanced around for my sister and hoped I wouldn’t see Aleksander with her. But I didn’t see her anywhere.

  Nervous, I reached back for Shane as he put his hand on my back to get me through the entryway. He waved and chatted as he took my hand and pulled me along, through the mass of people.

  The smell of smoke and pot filled my nostrils as we walked one way. I scanned over the kids who were sitting in a circle on the back deck with the screen door wide open. They were passing joints and cigarettes after taking a hit. My lips twisted into a sneer of severe disapproval.