by Tara Brown
I read out loud, “Giselle, my summer rose, your lips will shine for me, glisten with my name upon them. I will bring you to ecstasy with a drop of my aphrodisiacs. You’ll moan my name and ride my—” I stopped and looked at my sister, frowning. “This is disgusting. You’re aware this isn’t Shakespeare, right? Please tell me that all the years of high school have not been wasted. Shakespeare never said the word ‘cock’ in a poem. If he had, it would have been about a rooster or a pun or innuendo of sorts.”
She glared at me. “Spice down, saucy pants. You’re being hamtarded about this.”
I laughed at her using all the swear words I’d made up for her. “Giselle didn’t have a clue who it was?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged, driving us back home to get the dress fittings started.
“Let’s find out.” I pulled my phone out and looked at the million texts Giselle had sent. It was pages of new texts. She went from excited to completely desperate. Guilt flooded me, seeing the anxiety in my friend’s words.
I pressed talk and waited for the cell to ring.
“Hello.” Her voice was so weak it sickened me.
I closed my eyes, fighting back tears. “Hey.”
“Dude, where have you been?” Her weakened words cut me deeply.
“I’m so sorry. I slept through the last five days. I just couldn’t seem to shake it. How’s it going there? Your dad said something about a donor.”
“Yeah.” I could hear her shallow breath in the phone as she tried to talk. “I hear the final verdict tomorrow, I think. Right now, they’re just trying to get me through the day. My dad was the only match in my family, but his shit is damaged from all the drinking. I think he feels pretty bad.”
I cringed. How could he not feel bad? “I am coming to see you this weekend, transplant or not. But before that I need to ask you a question. It’s going to sound awful, but just look past my snooping.”
“Okay, I’m not too worried about you and snooping, to be totally honest.”
“Good.” I sighed. “I went to your place to get the dress and when I was there, I looked in the closet. I found the secret-admirer letters you got last fall. I’ve been reading them over, and I think the person who sent them poisoned us. But I need to know who you think it is.” I waited in silence for her to tell me to eff off and hang up.
“I don’t know. They just kept showing up in my locker. I guess I always thought it was Tommy. I assumed because he had a crush on me and always got such good grades in English. It’s surprising the way he comes off as a hamtard.”
I burst out laughing. “See how easy it is to use that word? Even Alise has been using it. Okay, so Tommy gets good grades in English? Really? I never would have guessed that. Are you sure he had a crush on you? Did he hit on you?”
My sister, who was listening in, muttered, “Who hasn’t he hit on? He’s a pig.”
“Good call.” I wondered about him being smart enough to drug someone and plan it out. I had a hard time seeing it in my head. “You think about the letters for the next little bit, as much as you can, and I will see if I can get some dirt on Tommy. I’ll get Alise to help me. She’s good with dirty boys.” I gave a look to my sister who flashed a grin and turned off the car.
“I’ll text you if I think of anything. I’m telling you, if I don’t get a response, I’m coming for you, Miss James. I am coming for you.”
The thought of that, made me smile. “Deal. I will answer anything you send.”
“Later.” She ended the call, no doubt from loss of strength. I couldn’t believe how weak she’d gotten. I turned toward my sister as we sat together in the driveway, feeling not only bleak about Giselle, but also confused about the drugging pervert.
“It can’t be Tommy. I mean it could be, but I just can’t see him being smart enough,” I spoke, breaking the silence.
My sister nodded. “Yeah, he’s a goof. He’s a perv, but more of a harmless perv. Trust me, I went there once—he was sweet and almost grateful. It was creepy, in a ‘he’s not as dirty as he seems’ sort of way.”
I frowned at her. “You had sex with him?”
“What?” She frowned back. “At least I know what sex is. You’re like a Mormon. No booze, no smoking, no drugs, no sex. Do you even drink coffee?”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Not really. Every now and then I have some espresso. I don’t like to put that much strain on my adrenal glands.”
“Oh my God. Stop.” She sounded exasperated. “Oh well, yes, I forgot about that nasty little side effect. Let’s go see if the dress fits, Cinderella.”
As Alise and I got into the house, we heard a man’s voice talking to our dad. I knew that voice, immediately. Instead of smiling as I normally would, I cringed.
“Shane, what are you doing here?” my sister asked, smiling at him and Dad. They were having what seemed to be an afternoon tea. I raised an eyebrow at them.
My dad started laughing. “They make the same faces. Do you see it, son?”
Shane laughed, nodding. “That is funny. Gray-blue eyes and silver eyes making the same expression. I was hoping you were feeling better.” He smiled the biggest grin I’d ever seen on anyone’s face. The excitement in his eyes melted my heart. “Is that your dress? Are we going?” His eyes were ridiculously hopeful. I couldn’t even imagine saying no.
“Yes. I’m feeling a lot better.” It was still a lie, but I had been out of bed for the whole day. I could have fallen asleep standing but my mind was reeling with all the things it had learned. Or at least, attempted to learn in the small amount of time.
“Sweet.” Shane stepped forward and hugged me tightly. “I’ll be back in a couple hours to get you.”
With that, he ran out the door excitedly. I closed off my heart to Aleksander and let Shane in. It was the right choice. I was excited to be rid of the tennis match going on inside me.
I went to my room to start the process and to contemplate a small catnap. But instead of getting dressed, I sat in my room staring at the letters. I recognized the writing from somewhere. I couldn’t place it. It reminded me of Blake, but when I thought about Blake and his chicken scratch, I ruled it out. It was like a word search. I needed to walk away from it and eventually the word would come to me.
Chapter 20
Happiness is in the eye of the beholder—???
The dress fit like a glove. Giselle and I were apparently the exact same size. It was an aqua color and gradually went from short in front to long in back as it wrapped around me. The top was a corset style with vertically pleated fabric and boning. A wide piece of the skirt fabric was pulled into a sweep as though it were a belt wrapping around the dress, making up the small amount of back I had covered. The top was strapless and the skirt was several layers of flowing ripply fabric. A huge oval silver brooch sat under my right breast. It sparkled with fake diamonds.
I stood in amazement as my sister smiled brightly. “You look hot. Like model hot.” She pulled a pair of sparkly silver pumps from her closet and put them in front of me. I stepped into them and marveled at how I looked. I pulled my light-blonde hair out of its usual ponytail and shook my head to release the long locks.
Alise clapped. “Dad, you have to see this.”
“You even look a little tanned. Have you been tanning?” she asked, eyeing me up and down as I scoffed. She raised her hands defensively. “Okay. I was just thinking you seem a bit tanned.”
“Maybe.” I did look a bit tanned. “You know I don’t tan. It’s the light in here.”
My dad came into the room. His eyes widened in awe. “Oh my goodness, Aimee. Alise, did you do this?” His voice was a whisper, not accusing at all. He sounded proud of her.
“No, this is all Aimee and there isn’t even any makeup yet.” She took a black and aqua-colored bracelet and hung it off my left wrist. She smiled at me in the mirror. My dad’s eyes misted over. My sister’s eyes were not long behind his, which made mine start to water.
Dad wrapped his
arms around us both and began to sob. He held us and hugged tightly with shaking arms.
I lost my control as I joined what was left of our small family in a moment of sorrow. The warm wind came. I peered up, knowing it was my mom watching over us. My skin shivered as I let my face burrow into my dad’s shoulder.
He pulled away after a few seconds and nodded. “You look beautiful, and if your mom were here, she would make me tell you so.” He walked from the room and I knew he was heartbroken.
Alise walked into her bathroom and started to wash her face to get ready for the big night. She looked over at me and smiled. “I’ll do your makeup if you want.”
“Thanks, but I’m going to try to do my own this time. I think I’m getting the hang of this girlie business.”
She laughed at me from the bathroom. “Yeah, right. Well, if you mess up, I’m right here.”
“Thanks.” I closed her bedroom door, more in love with my family than I had ever been. I realized in that moment, we would be okay. My dad had muttered the words “if your mom were here” for the first time, and we all lived. We’d cried together, we’d grieved together, and it seemed we’d finally reached the point where we could heal together.
I closed my door and sat in the chair, inspecting myself. I was pretty. This had never happened to me before. Even with the red dress, I had still somehow looked like me, but in this dress I was someone else. I liked it. The turquoise color made my gray eyes pop and my long light-blonde hair made me look like a mermaid. My puffy lips were smooth instead of chapped.
I started to repeat the steps Giselle had told me to do. I made my color choices to match the details of the dress. I did my eyes with silver and gray. They had flecks of both green and blue so the silver made them sparkle. I did my lips with a soft coral. I figured aqua and coral were both from the sea so they must match. I pulled the top of my hair into a high half ponytail and teased the waves into soft curls. I spritzed myself with the honey vanilla my mom had always worn.
I stood up, added a little gloss, and surveyed the final product.
The warm wind blew in my window and Aleksander stood there, smiling at me from the far side of my room. The wind was the same. Exactly the same.
“You’re the warm wind.” It was a statement, not a question.
He never opened his mouth to argue but the truth lay in his eyes.
“How could you let me believe my mother was here with me?”
He didn’t answer. He stepped toward me to explain, but I put my arms up.
“No, you let me think you were my mom. How could you? I believed she was here with me. I believed all my mom’s love and intention was in that wind, and instead, it was you.”
He seemed ashamed. “It’s just what happens when I move. You assumed it was your mom. You still needed her and she was gone. I should have told you and I’m sorry but in my defense, you should never have known about me. When you were better and your family was healed, I would have left. I would have gone, taking that wind with me, and you would have been at peace knowing she was in Heaven.”
I was betrayed and disgusted. Somewhere, what he was saying made sense, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. Instead, I thought about the millions of private things I had told him, thinking he was my mom. The intrusion into my deepest thoughts made me sick. “I told you everything. I told you private things.”
“I just listened. You needed someone to listen.”
Tears threatened to ruin my efforts.
He ignored my words and walked to me, pulling me into him. He held me for a moment, talking, “Aimee, I’m so sorry. I wish I had more time to grovel appropriately, but I don’t. I need you to try not to focus on hating me just yet. We need to focus on the thing we’ve both dreaded: I have to leave tonight. I can feel the pull.”
I wanted to cry in frustration. He was like a roller-coaster ride for my heart. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“I don’t care. You’re going to ruin my makeup and this is my first time doing it completely on my own, which sounds ridiculous, and I know that. I need you to try to wait till the end of my night before ruining it.”
“I know.” He pulled back to gaze at me. “You are the most beautiful girl in the world but makeup isn’t your thing.” His eyes grew intense. “Are you still going with him?”
“Yeah.” I left it at that. Shane was my safe harbor. The place my heart was protected.
His eyes narrowed again and he pressed his lips into a tight smile. “You go and have a great night. I will see you after the dance, okay?” He was serious. “Stay at his side the entire night.”
“Why would you ask that?”
“I will explain everything tonight before I leave, but promise me you’ll stay by his side.”
“Fine. Since we are talking about the rapist, will you tell me one thing? Are the letters from him?”
He frowned. “What letters?”
“Here.” I picked up the letter I had been reading from my dressing table. “These letters.”
“I don’t know.” He scanned it. “It sounds pretty creepy.” He tilted his head. “You know I’m not psychic, right? I’m not omnipresent like God.”
“I don’t know.” I laughed. “I just thought you might know.”
He rubbed his hands on my bare arms, warming me from the inside. I had been weak and exhausted until he touched me. “See you later.” He was there and then he was gone.
When I got downstairs, I received the speech of doom from my dad.
“No drinks you didn’t crack open and don’t even drink from the water fountain. No boys, except Shane, and he doesn’t touch you except to hold your hand at the most.” Dad paced the kitchen, ranting as my sister and I exchanged looks of bewilderment. He seemed more savage than normal.
Shane knocked on the door, saving us from the chastity belts and curfews. I jumped at the door, sensing a slight head rush. I trembled a tiny amount before I got my hand on the door to steady myself.
Blake stood there beside Shane. Both were in black tuxes with shiny black shoes and white roses. I laughed. “The Blues Brothers are here.” I opened the door wide for them to come in.
My dad laughed at the comment, but my sister was obviously confused. “They’re wearing black, dummy.” Yeah, I was the dummy.
Both guys stood completely still, staring at me in astonishment.
I looked at my sister who raised an eyebrow.
Blake, finally taking at least one of his eyes off me, turned to my sister. “You look incredible.”
She really did. Her dress was silver like her eyes and cut perfectly. She had her thick dark hair flowing around her bare shoulders. Her skin was tanned and glowing. Her dress was a halter style with the thinnest straps imaginable. The pleated skirt was long with a soft flow and shine to the silk material. She had blue eye makeup with plump pink lips. Her earrings were huge silver dangling ones that matched her crystal and silver bracelet. A pair of strappy silver slingbacks matched her dress perfectly. She could be a supermodel. When she turned around to say goodbye to me, I noticed her entire back was bare except for the thin halter straps that crossed over her back. The skirt of the dress hugged the very top of her bum.
My dad gulped and then sounded stern, “Same rules apply for you.” He stared at the guys. “You boys take good care of my girls, are we clear?”
Blake nodded but Shane had still not come out of his coma.
My dad snapped his fingers in front of Shane’s eyes and grinned as Shane came back, blinking. “You look amazing, Aimee.”
“Thanks.” I smiled at him and sipped my glass of water. I sat it down and kissed my dad on the cheek. “Night, Dad. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”
He seemed worried, regardless of what I had said.
Alise kissed his cheek and patted his back. “It’s okay, Daddy. I think I saw something about a special on Discovery Channel tonight on astro-psychics. Should be fun.”
He walked us to the door. “It’s astrophysics, s
weetie. I have it taping.”
I laughed as she remained unfazed, but Blake grinned. “Astro-psychics, is that a space psychic?”
She smacked him in the arm, making me laugh harder.
Shane offered me his arm, fighting desperately to focus on my eyes. Half my chest was exposed and my breasts were pretty much popping out the top of the dress. Not that much was left from the sickness, but what was there was on display. I would have cursed Giselle under my breath, but she needed prayers more.
Before I took his arm, I hugged Blake.
He hugged me back.
“I feel naked,” I whispered to him.
“You are.” He smiled at me as I pulled away. We were going to be okay.
I glanced around and decided this was the life I wanted. When Aleksander left, he would take a little piece of my heart with him. He would also take all the air I had breathed for nearly a year, but I’d survive on the air from the people surrounding me, and Giselle. I had survived heartbreak before, one much more severe than the imminent one would be.
I took Shane’s arm and beamed up at him. Butterflies danced inside me as he squeezed my arm. He was warm and inviting. He was flesh and blood, and he didn’t fly through the air or pretend to be something he wasn’t. Shane had never lied to me about anything. In that moment, Shane’s honesty was more attractive than a crooked smile and the bluest eyes ever created.
Shane kissed my cheek and turned us both around to face my dad. He put his hand out. “Goodnight, sir, and don’t worry—I will have her home at a respectable hour.”
My dad tried hard to hide his love for Shane. “You’d better,” he said sternly.
Blake followed Shane’s lead, having never dated a real girl before, and put his hand out.
My dad smiled, seeming at least a little relieved as we walked out onto the porch. He turned our way once more. “Well, you kids have a good time.”
We walked out into the cool night air. Shane took me to his truck and opened the door. “Wow, Aimee, like wow. That dress and your hair. It’s going to be a long night.” He bent and kissed me. “Remind me later that I have self-control, okay?”