by Tara Brown
“Maybe.” I wrapped a single arm around him. “But you love me and you know it.” I got up and left him there, winking myself home. I was in the mood to see my dad. I usually went at night when we could have conversations, when he didn’t know we were having them. But I needed to see him, even if it meant peeking in the windows.
My boots clicked on the concrete sidewalk as I strolled down the street to my dad’s house.
“Aimee? Is that you?”
“Oh.” I stopped in my tracks, shocked to see Shane standing beside a big black truck. “Hey.”
“Hey? That’s all you have to say? I haven’t seen you in months and it’s a hey?” He looked hurt. He always looked hurt. It was why I’d broke things off with him months ago. I couldn’t take the lying and the sorrowful look on his face anymore. “What are you doing here? Does your dad know you’re here?”
“I just wanted to see him.”
“You’re just spying? Awesome, Aimes. He misses you so much. Why can’t you just try to be normal and go say hi? He thinks you’re at school. He’s extremely proud of you for going to college after the liver transplant. The one you have no scars from.”
“Shane, I can’t do this.”
“You don’t even want to try to be with us?”
“I do.”
“Then stay.” He sounded desperate. “Stay and see him.”
“I want to, but I—”
“Whatever.” He cut me off angrily. “But just so you know, he isn’t doing so hot. Not that you give a crap.”
“What do you mean?” I turned. “You know I care about both of you.” My words were weak. “You know that.”
“Aimee, the docs are thinking cancer maybe.” His words were like a punch in the gut.
“Cancer?” I frowned. “He’s sick? How?”
“Why do you care? It’s been a long time since you were here.”
“Oh my God, Shane. That’s not fair.” My eyes darted across the road to the house with the large window in the front room where I knew my dad was watching TV. “Does Alise know?” I wondered how my sister could move to Boston, knowing our father was sick.
“Yeah, of course.”
“But she didn’t come back?” I was disappointed, but I couldn’t judge her while I was doing the same thing.
“No.” He shook his head.
“Were you just leaving?” I looked at the big black truck.
“Just arriving.” He put a hand out for me. “Come with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Please.” He took my hand in his. I let him envelope it with warmth. The connection warmed my skin immediately. It never felt like this when Aleks touched me. Being with Aleks was weird but it worked. He knew what I was and he couldn’t get hurt.
But holding Shane’s hand, I knew how vulnerable he was.
He squeezed, pulling me into him. “I know you’re different now. I know you’re something I can’t understand. I saw you in that alley. I know what you did to that criminal. I get it. But I can’t help myself. I love you. I want us to try.”
I got lost for a second in his blue eyes, a sea of possibilities. He was the best. He was taking care of my dad. He was working full time and still finding his way there to be with him.
He didn’t wait for me to brush him off as I always did. He lowered his face, pressing his soft lips against mine. It was the kiss to end all kisses, his lips devouring mine.
“Stop.” I had to be stronger than that.
“What?” He stopped and pulled away, his eyes burning and his breath ragged.
“These.” I put my hands out. “These will kill you if I don’t keep control. I can’t lose it for a second. We can’t do that.”
“Fine.” He nodded. “But let’s go see your dad.”
“Okay.” I let him lead me to see the man I needed more than I needed anything.
Chapter 20
Effing Sound of Music
Ari
“Miss Ari, you need to be getting up outta that bed. I got your favorite here now—pancakes with chocolate chips and banana slices and vanilla yogurt. Now sit up, ya hear? Eat something.”
I kept my eyes shut, pretending Annabelle wasn’t there, but my stomach betrayed me, grumbling as soon as the smell of the pancakes hit.
“Just leave the food,” I mumbled as I opened my eyes to find Annabelle standing with Lucas next to her, holding the plate of food. “Oh. Hey.” I shot up, wondering how bad I looked after staying in bed for days. “Lucas? What are you doing here?”
“Morning—well, evening actually. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He was nervous. I could tell.
“Okay. I’m fine.”
Annabelle grinned and faded like the Cheshire cat but Lucas and I didn’t move.
I wanted to hug him. My fingers ached to grip to him and close my eyes, breathing him in.
“Uhhh, so.” Lucas put the tray down on the bed. He stepped toward me, his lower lip trembling a little. “I was thinking maybe we could start over, since neither of us seems to know one another anymore.” The tone of his voice was a forced calm one. I’d heard it before when he was trying not to phase.
“Okay.” I still didn’t know what to say.
“The whole you and Ben thing, I think, uhh, I just want you to maybe, uh—well, just rethink your choice.”
“I see.” I paused for a moment and then laughed.
“I know it’s wrong to say this about my brother’s girl, but I can’t let it slide.” He sounded defeated.
“I’m not your brother’s girl. The goody two-shoes church girl likes Ben. But that’s not me. Not my heart.” I sighed. Apparently, I was no better at this than he was. “I don’t feel that way about him. There’s something there. It’s not me. And in the end I’m the one in control, not the other version of me.”
He smiled. “Are you saying you choose me?”
“No. I don’t know.”
“You are different.” He narrowed his gaze.
“Is that bad?” I asked as I grabbed the plate of food and cut the pancakes.
“No. Different is good.” His eyes lowered as a grin crept across his lips. “To be honest, I didn’t like you when Lydia brought you home. I thought you were an annoying church girl who was too preachy and moral, which sounds worse than I mean it to.”
“I wish you could just know me. I wish it was just me in here. I hate taking their lives on and being someone I’m not.”
He laughed, stealing a bite of my pancake. He was joking but there was something of a look in his eyes. Something he wasn’t saying.
“You okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“You look upset.”
“Oh that.” He lowered his gaze again. “It’s just Ben. You know he’ll be super pissed if you break up with him.”
“You think I should date him, pretending to be into him when I’m not?”
“No, of course not. I just don’t want my brother hurt. I want him to forget about you.” His green eyes were dazzling. I moved the tray of food and crawled to where he sat.
“Lucas, you and I don’t have to be together. I don’t want to hurt Ben either. I just don’t want you to hate me anymore. I have no idea what kind of drama the other me has annoyed you with, but I don’t want to be that version of me. I just want us to be friends.”
“No.” His eyes widened. “That’s not an option.”
“Maybe it’s an option for right now.” I put a hand on his shoulder. “Three days ago when I got here, I was your girlfriend. Aimee and I were best friends. Everything is different.”
He frowned. “You and Aimee were friends?”
“Best. I was there when she got back together with Shane. I was the one who talked her into it.”
“Aimee and Shane? You mean that cop she dated in high school?” He sounded as though he barely knew him.
“She doesn’t bring him here?” I sat back, wondering what else was different.
“No.” He chuckled. “Mostly because she’s with Ale
ks. Has been for like six months. I think she was seeing the cop a little but it was on the down low.”
“Oh my God. I didn’t even think about how my push would affect my friends.” I picked up my cell phone from the bedside table and rifled through it, searching for her contact info. “Jesus, I don’t even have her in my phone. Doesn’t Aimes take me on Roses Academy business?”
He laughed. “Yeah, she travels us all over, part of her job. She’s always kind of disliked you though so Izzy does your trips more.”
“She hates me that much?”
“Yeah. She’s into science, not religion. And the you we all know is a preacher of sorts. It’s annoying.”
“Great,” I huffed, exasperated. “I wish everyone would stop seeing me like that.”
“That’s all we’ve known.”
“Yeah well, it’s not who I am.”
He leaned over, eyeing my lips like he meant to devour them. I knew this face. It was the one that said he was done talking. But then it changed. His face hardened as he climbed off my bed and walked to the door and opened it.
Ben dove through the door, knocking Lucas to the ground. Both phased instantly. I screamed as the two huge wolves snarled and wrestled.
“STOP THIS, STOP. HELP! SOMEONE!”
I leapt off the bed to run from the room, but the dark wolf, Ben, smashed his back end into mine as the brown wolf pushed him with his hind legs. I stumbled, smashing my face into the wall.
Stars filled my gaze as I tried to steady myself. My hands heated as I spun around and fell forward. They ignored me and kept fighting.
My hands pulsed once and in the background of my starry gaze both wolves fell to the ground as darkness took me.
When I woke, I looked around, hearing voices in the distance. They were angry and arguing.
“She’s wearing herself out. She just needs some rest.”
“No, Lydia, She’s meddling in our lives and it has to stop. The way Ari remembers the world from yesterday, I sort of remember too. It’s almost like I can see the changes she’s made. It’s like I’m losing my mind. I honestly can’t be in the same room as Aleks without wondering if I was even with him before she did the push. It feels forced.” Aimee sounded pissed.
“Well, we’ll ask her to tell us everything so we can fix the things we need to.” Lydia defended me but it didn’t matter. Aimee was right.
I was meddling.
My heart ached, realizing they hated me. And worst of all, I couldn’t blame them.
I closed my eyes, trying to overlook the fact that I desperately wished I hadn’t gone to the orphanage. It was impossible to wish away the happiness of the children, even if it meant I had screwed up everything else.
My churchy brain, full of the sweet Sound of Music-styled comments, just pissed me off more. I pulled myself up from my comfortable bed, hoping Annabelle wasn’t watching me, and crept to the window of the dark room. I pulled back the drapes and lifted the window frame, crawling along the roofline to observe the gray day. The depressing sight of the mist in the air and the low-sitting clouds helped me formulate a plan.
My heart would break but at least my damage to the lives of those around me would be minimal.
I jumped down from the lowest point of the roof and ran along the property. I expected that between the ghost, the psychic, the death dealer, a vampire, and two wolves, I would never make a clean getaway. Not to even mention the possibility of demons and angels spotting me.
But I moved silently, sensing the training, which I didn’t realize the new me had, kicking in and helping me. I was faster and quieter. I moved in silence.
There were no walls in my mind. My memory showed years of advanced training in combat and many other things I couldn’t comprehend. It was like landing in the body of a spy. I smiled, thinking about Jason Bourne as I ran to the road, passing through the guards as fast as I could.
And that was the best part: I was fast again.
The awareness of what exactly it was that lived beyond the guards was suddenly in the back of my mind.
I hunted those things now.
I was a real Rose.
I was a demon-slaying, vampire-killing vanquisher.
And being alone was a bad choice.
My legs pumped hard as my lungs expanded, allowing the air to energize me. The runner’s high boosted me. The feeling of the maintained runner’s high stunned me.
It had been gone for so long.
I pushed the thought of Lucas out of my mind, desperate to convince myself that everyone would be better off.
I ran to the bus stop and caught the bus to downtown. The ride was filled with emotions I couldn’t explain, most of them linked to severe apprehension about leaving Lydia’s. But the choice had been made. I couldn’t imagine tearing brothers apart. Even the churchgoer in my head agreed with that decision.
When I hopped off the bus at the next stop, I recognized the area. It was a fancy neighborhood. Some of the huge houses even had gates. The driveways were so long you couldn’t see the houses from the street.
I walked up the road, searching for the house I remembered deep inside my previous memories.
The house I sought out was huge. It looked like a hotel. It was as big as the orphanage. I walked up the driveway toward the front door. My stomach did circles, but I took a deep breath and knocked on the huge wooden door.
A woman wearing a black-and-white maid’s uniform came to the door. “Can I help you?”
“Yes.” I smiled back. “I’m looking for Vince.”
“Oh. Is he expecting you?” The woman eyed me suspiciously.
“No. But he will want to see me. I’m his niece.”
“Stay here and I will get him. Who should I say is here?”
“My name is Ari.”
The woman left the entryway in a hurry.
When she returned, she pointed down the hall. “He’ll meet with you in his study.”
I grinned, imagining my uncle with a study. I followed the woman down a wide and elegant-looking hallway to a large arched entrance. The study was more like a living room, but it had a large wooden desk in one corner.
My uncle stood, seemingly unamused. He appeared much older than he had in the desert. This life must’ve been hard on him.
“Mr. Pastern, this is Miss Ari. Can I get either of you something to eat or drink?”
“No.” Vince shook his head and the maid vanished.
His eyes revealed his awareness of my existence. Pain and curiosity filled his eyes. “Ari, what a wonderful surprise.” His voice cracked slightly.
I wanted to cry and run to him, like I had as a child whenever I hurt myself or was scared. He didn’t look the same as before. His cold stare prevented my feet from budging.
“You look just like her.”
My heart broke. “You’re lying. I know I don’t look like her. Only my hair is like my mother’s.”
“How?” He seemed confused. “How do you know what she looked like?”
“Once upon a time, there was a world where my mother begged you from her deathbed to keep me and raise me as your own. She told you to move far, far away and leave the city for my safety. She begged you to love me as your own. In that world you did as she asked. You raised me and loved me like a daughter.”
“How?” His face cringed in defiance as anger filled his voice, “You couldn’t possibly know any of that. I don’t owe you anything.”
“I don’t want anything from you, except an answer. Who was my father?”
“Why?” His lower lip trembled. He wasn’t the man who raised me. He was weak now.
“I need to know. I’m sick and need to know.”
“Oh God.” He ran a hand through his fluffy hair. “He was some man your mom met at the bar she was working at. He had a British accent. He was tall and fit. You have his eyes, black as night. I only met him once. Dark hair and sort of a sarcastic fellow. Charming but in a frightening way.”
“Oh shit.” I gulped,
suddenly realizing I knew exactly who he spoke of. “Dorian? Was his name Dorian?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I think that was his name. Anyway, he was gone long before your mom even knew she was pregnant. Her pregnancy was bad. She spent the entire time in the hospital.” His face hardened. “I tried to convince her to abort the—well, the baby, but she wouldn’t.”
My uncle had never told me the full story before. He had loved me before and never would’ve hurt me that way.
“Why was I in danger? Why did she tell you to run with me?”
“I don’t know.” He paced around the room. “She started to go crazy. She was delirious and kept saying that something evil wanted the baby. Like some doomsday end-of-the-world bull. You were poisoning her—I don’t know. It was all ridiculous.”
My hands heated up. I wanted to send him back, but my world was such a mess I didn’t dare try that again. As much as I wanted to be in the desert with him, hugging him instead of him telling me I murdered my own mother, I couldn’t contend with another version of me.
I took a deep breath. “What did you see? I know you saw something.” My uncle had run with me to the desert and never looked back. He’d lied about where we were from. I knew he had done it out of fear.
He looked at me wildly. “You, you were different. She gave birth to you and the doctors had to work on her. They gave you to me. I saw it then. You never cried. You looked at me, and you knew me. I saw the whole world in your eyes and then I saw a movie. Your mother died and the doctor came out of the room and told me she had died. Then a strange man in a trench coat walked down the hallway looking for us. He tried to stab me and steal you. I was terrified. It ended and I sat there, staring at you, wondering if her stories were true. If you were some weird end-of-the-world baby. And then, exactly as it had just played in your eyes, the doctor came out of the room and said exactly what I’d seen. At that point I knew your mom was right. Something evil was coming for you. I hid you at the orphanage, hoping God would protect you. Even though I donated money to the orphanage, I never went there. I kept as far from you as I could.”
“This is yours.” I walked toward him and pulled the pinky ring off my middle finger. I placed it on the desk and walked from the room.