by Tara Brown
I ignored her, enjoying the feelings that flowed through me. The power was licking at my fingertips.
I pulled at the lightning again and forked it, striking Giselle and the redhead.
Giselle was thrown back into the wooden-paneled walls. She growled and leapt at me. She was faster than the redhead. She hit me mid waist with a crushing blow, hurling us both out the window and onto the grass two stories below.
Her hands came at my throat but I shoved her back with energy. Giselle flew into the vines against the brick wall. I twisted the vines, trapping her against the side of the castle.
A scream filled the yard, “STOP THIS!”
I turned to see Lydia standing on the grass with her hands on her hips. The next thing I knew I was also trapped against the castle wall with vines choking me. The redhead appeared out of nowhere and was held against the wall too.
Lydia’s eyes were solid black. With her long gray hair she looked terrifying.
Bliss filled me as the magic faded and a small smile spread across my lips.
The redhead, whose face was covered in tears, stared at me like I was insane.
“It was my first time using my magic just on my own,” I tried to explain.
The redhead didn’t seem to come around. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the rough brick.
“WHAT DO YOU THREE THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Lydia paced in front of us.
Giselle pointed at me with her fingers she had free. “They did this. I was just defending my den. I don’t know what the den is for, but they were using it like a wrestling ring.”
“That’s boxing, you moron, and we saw you take Ophelia out the window. Nice try.” Lorri put her hands on her hips the same way Lydia had. “You’ve left a magical stain in the area. Ophelia, your father is looking for you. His people will be able to see this mess. You idiots. This shit is a beacon for them to follow.”
Lydia sighed and put her face in her hands. “We can disperse it some. The stain will still be in the city, but at least they will assume she’s at my house, not the vampire queen’s.”
Lydia’s eyes were back to normal and kind when she pulled her hands away from her face. “Hanna. I’m so sorry.”
“No.” The redhead shook her head. “I did this. It’s my fault. I never should have gone. They didn’t teach me anything I couldn’t have figured out from your book.”
Lydia swallowed hard as her eyes darted at Lorri. “We just thought you would want to know your mother’s family.”
“I did want to, but it’s cost me everything.”
Lorri snarled indignantly, “It was the best place for you to learn emergency feeding to stop the need.”
The redhead glanced down as best as the vines would allow. “It doesn’t matter now. He’s broken the match.”
I noticed, for the first time, the bracelet the girl wore was glowing, like a fire burned inside it. I couldn’t help but feel animosity toward her. Something made me dislike her instinctively. I didn’t like that.
A whisper filled my mind. It’s her siren half. All supernatural women naturally dislike her. Hanna is a sweet girl, I promise you. I darted my eyes at Lydia who continued to speak inside my head. You will like her if you give her a chance. We need to talk about that spell and Annabelle's plate. I'm very angry, Ophelia.
I felt sick. I used my magic to do a terrible thing. The redhead had lost everything because of me. I didn’t know the story. I didn’t want to. It would only make things much worse.
I needed to focus on the important things. I had to get my sister back.
“I will let the vines release you all, but you will apologize to each other. Ophelia, it’s safest for you to stay here. Giselle, she doesn’t leave the house. Girls, I am very disappointed in you all.”
Giselle opened her mouth to argue, but closed it again as black clouds floated in Lydia’s eyes. “Fine.”
It didn’t sound fine, not at all.
Chapter 13
There’s always a cost
Sam
The pain was overwhelming. Nothing soothed it. I threw up when I tried to eat and passed out from the pain when I tried walking around.
I felt mortal for the first time.
My shallow breaths worried me, and by the look of it, Aimee too.
“So, when did you sell your dad’s house?” I asked, hoping something beyond Hanna would fill my mind.
“I listed it last summer. It sold a month ago. We just closed it.”
“Have you seen the people who bought it?”
A subtle smile crept across her lips. “Maybe.”
“You’ve spied on them?” I had to force the chuckle from my lips.
“It wasn’t spying. It was checking to make sure they would love my house. My mother was all over that house. The curtains. The paint. The carpet. All her.”
“Aimes, you have to stop living in the past,” I mumbled.
“My sister is taken, my mother is dead, and my father is living with his mother in France. Easier said than done. You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
My eyes narrowed as I lost the humor. “My father was one of the fallen. He fell from Heaven with Lorri. His name was Anthony. He met my mother and they fell in love. He joined ranks with Jonathan because he, apparently, chose my mother over God. Lorri murdered him when my mom was pregnant with me. She gave birth to me in Greece with the other sirens. They shunned us when they saw what I was. We moved to Canada to live amongst the Wiccans on an island in British Columbia. When I was nine, I thought she got taken by the government. I lived like an orphan for a long time until another girl from our town went missing. I knew I had to save them, so I let myself get abducted by them. But I was wrong. My mom wasn’t there. I lived in captivity, taking care of scared children, until you freed me.”
“Oh my God. I had no idea.” Aimee looked confused. “You always said they were alive. How do you even kill a fallen? I'm sorry I said that, Sam. I didn’t know.”
“No one does.” I sigh. “I want to believe my parents loved each other, but the more time I spend with everyone, the more I think they just fell into the attraction. He was an angel and she was a siren. Worst mix ever. How would you ever trust your love in that situation?”
Aimee blushed. “That's what I always thought about Aleks. I always thought the love wasn’t real. It was part of whatever we all are. Is your mother still alive?”
“I don’t know. I’ve had dreams where Jonathan was the one who took my mother as his slave. If that’s true, then she’s lived in captivity for twenty years. Jonathan’s a bad man. I did hear that he’s always sort of been like Marcus, keeping sirens. I heard he kept one siren for a very long time. If my mother, your sister, and Ophelia’s sister are all alive, it’ll be one huge miracle.”
Aimee flinched. “Alise is alive. I know it.”
“That’s good.” If I was being honest with myself, I didn’t have the same feeling about my mother. I imagined that after twenty years of horror, I wouldn't know her even if I did see her.
We fell asleep next to each other, comforting one another.
When I woke, the cloud of desperation and pain had lifted. I stretched my arms freely. My heart didn’t burn. I felt something I’d never felt before. Freedom.
I’d loved Hanna from the moment I saw her. I knew my future would be to love her and those feelings had always been in the background, taking up space.
This new freedom came at a price, and I could sense the price tag attaching itself. I was empty. There was no love. There was no possibility of love. Nothing inspired me. But I was calm and even inside. No high and now no low.
I took a moment to adjust to the feeling of it. It didn’t hurt, but it lacked joy and possibilities.
Aimee was passed out next to me. I stroked her arm, trying to see if there was anything in the contact, any attraction at all. But there was nothing.
I wished I could love her. She was perfect. That was clear for the first time as the h
aze of Hanna lifted from me.
Aimee’s face was pretty but her heart was beautiful.
A slow smirk crept across her lips. “Are you touching me in my sleep? Because that’s a little creepy.”
“No.” I laughed but it was hollow. “Maybe. I was more admiring you than sleep assaulting.”
“Not much to admire,” she groaned and rolled over.
“I like it when you pity yourself.”
Giselle poked her face into the room. “Guys, Hanna won’t leave the castle. Sam, you have to talk to her.”
“Fine.” I got up from the bed and walked toward Giselle who grinned at me and Aimee.
“You moved on fast. You two got a thing going on?” she toyed.
“No.” I exhaled like I was annoyed, but I wasn’t. I was almost numb.
She shrugged. “She’ll tell me.” She walked into the room past me.
Feeling different, I strolled to Hanna casually.
Nothing about how I felt made sense.
When I went to sleep the night before, I was certain of three things:
I hated the castle.
I hated my memories.
I hated Hanna.
Suddenly, it was gone. The hate had deflated and I was empty.
I was hollow.
I walked to the room I knew she would sleep in. The room she had been held captive in. She would torture herself by sleeping there.
The candles had been snuffed recently, leaving a smell of smoke in the air. She lay on the bed in her clothes. Her red hair was splayed out around her. My stomach didn’t ache and long for her the way it had before. Her ruddy skin didn’t move my fingers to touch her.
I barely registered her scent in the air.
“Hanna.” My voice was flat.
She turned over, revealing her red and puffy face. “Sam.” She reached for me, but I stepped back and walked to the armchair beside the bed. Tears started to flow from her eyes. “Sam, I’m sorry. I need you to hear that. I love you. I love you so much.”
“I know you do. Hanna, I can’t forgive you.”
“I know that. I see the blank stare in your face. You don’t see me anymore. I don’t know how to fix it.”
“You can’t. I’ve broken the match. You’re free to live in Greece and torture men to your heart’s content.” I could be cruel to her. It was weird. This was a girl I would have died for. I think in some ways I had.
“I don’t want that. I want you.”
“You had me, Hanna.” I laughed bitterly. “And I guess every other man, under your spell.”
“I want to start over.”
“There is no starting over. I’ve broken the match.”
“Sam, why would you go to such extremes?”
“Hanna, you told me that you wished you never loved me. What did you think I would do?”
Her eyes grew cold. “Understand that I was drunk and confused. I just said those things. I never meant them.”
“Okay, well great, you never meant them. That doesn’t change what’s done. You have a lot of growing up to do. You’ll get past me, just like I’ve gotten past you.”
I stood and walked from the room.
“Don’t do this, Sam.”
I muttered, “It’s done,” and flashed to Lydia’s house. I opened the fridge and pulled out the chocolate almond milk that I loved. I drank from the carton, just like Lydia and Annabelle always asked me not to. I was feeling a little rebellious.
“Sam, you know I hate that.”
I pulled the carton from my lips. “Sorry, Annabelle. I’ll finish it.”
“You want some breakfast?”
“Sure.” Plates of pancakes, bacon, eggs, and sausages were set out on the table. “No home fries?”
She pulled them from the oven as I spoke. “Don’t be getting picky on me, Sam. You lucky you getting breakfast after what you done to Miss Hanna. You conned that poor Ophelia into doing that spell. You think I don’t know you took my plate? You lucky Ophelia never died.”
“From scrying?”
Annabelle put the plate down on the table and snapped, “Sam, that be my plate. It be tied to me. My power be in there. You put her power in there. Now it be her plate. Her magic is stronger. You ruined my plate. And yes, she coulda gone and died on all y’all. Witches scry after years of training, not a couple of weeks.”
“Sorry, Annabelle.” I didn’t feel as sorry as I should’ve, but I wanted to be.
“What’s done is done is all. Eat the breakfast, Sam, before I get mad. You shouldn’t have took my plate and you shouldn’t have took Ophelia to Giselle's.”
Dishes on the back counter started floating. Annabelle angry meant the house would get trashed, which made Annabelle angrier. It was a lose-lose situation. Annabelle disappeared into the wall.
I sat at the table as Sarah materialized. “Morning, Sarah. Hiding?”
“Yeah. They’ve been feisty since yesterday. You guys did a bad thing, Sam. They said it’s a bad spell to do. You could die from it.”
“What?” I poured real Canadian maple syrup over my plate.
“Lydia said she did it once before. The woman hung herself. The sadness of not feeling anything, it gets to you.”
“Don’t worry about it, Sarah.” I didn’t feel anything. “It’s not possible to feel sadness if you can’t feel anything.”
Sarah’s little face didn’t look convinced. She ate a piece of bacon. “It was a bad thing, Sam.”
I pointed at her plate, changing the subject, “You shouldn’t be eating that bacon. Your mom would be very angry.”
“I'm not a vegan here. I'm a flexitarian. I eat what I'm served.” She grinned.
The other kids started to pile into the kitchen where the table expanded as always. The small kitchen always accommodated everyone.
Danny raised an eyebrow. “No more you and Hanna?”
“Not so much.” I said it flatly.
Danny shrugged. “I like Hanna. She makes me feel happy when I look at her.”
I coughed and changed the subject, “You guys been in contact with your families lately?”
They nodded. Sarah gave me a toothy grin. Her teeth had grown in too big for her small face. “Aunty Beth said to tell you she expects a visit sooner than later. She said she wants to talk to you about something.”
I shrugged. “Okay. Maybe I’ll see if we can both go.”
Sarah shook her head. “I don’t wanna go. I started a fire yesterday when I was mad at Danny.”
Danny’s chubby face turned red. “She burned my World of Warcraft poster of the Mists of Pandaria.”
Sarah eyed her plate. “It was an accident. I said sorry, Danny.”
Danny glared at her. “And yet, your apology didn’t bring it back.”
“Okay, okay. Be nice, both of you. It was an accident. Sometimes we can’t help what our powers make us do.” I tried to intervene.
“Is that what you told Hanna when you apologized?” Lydia spoke from behind me.
She stood in the kitchen with her arms folded across her chest and a pissy expression plastered on her face.
“No. I never apologized. I’m not sorry.” I wanted to regret saying it but I didn’t.
“You will be, Sam. Even I can’t save you from what you’ve done. There was a reason I told you no witch would ever do that spell for you.” Her eyes burned. “We all know the cost of it.” She turned and walked away.
I cringed at the frightened looks of the kids at the table. Even Dawn looked upset. “That sounded ominous.” I tried to smile but there was no point. No one believed my indifference to the threat. Not even me.
After breakfast I walked into the sitting room where Lorri and Lydia had their heads pressed together.
“Can I help?”
Lorri glowered. “You’ve done enough, kid.”
I sat beside Lydia. “Look, I don’t regret it. It was the right choice. I’ve freed her.”
Lydia sputtered something in hysteria and left the room.
/>
Lorri cracked her bitter grin. “You idiot.”
“What? It was my choice.”
“No.” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “You have no choices. None. You are a slave to this fate just as we all are.” Her lip twitched with annoyance or disgust, I couldn’t be sure which. “When God asked me to fall, I had to trust he was making the right choice. I had to assume he knew best. If I had defied him, where would humanity be right now?”
I opened my mouth to speak but her hand flew up and slapped me hard. “It was rhetorical, dipshit. Humanity would be screwed. They would be up hellfire shit creek with no paddle. The point I’m making is, Lydia told you no because she knew what was best. You should have trusted her. Instead, you defied her and have left us a giant pile of bullshit to clean up.”
“How? I don’t want to love a girl. Big deal. It’s my business. It’s my choice. I still have freewill.”
“No,” Lorri growled. “You don’t deserve freewill. You destroyed Hanna’s. You took away her choice to love you. You moron. Her mother matched once a long time ago. She hated her match. She made a mistake and asked Lydia to do the spell. Lydia did it, not knowing what would come of it. Hanna’s mom committed suicide. She was tired of feeling nothing. It was a dark magic spell. Darkness is what killed Lydia's baby. You brought dark magic into Ophelia. Our savior.”
I shook my head but Lorri slapped my cheek again. The sting was the only warmth I felt.
Lorri continued, sounding savage, “Don’t tell me that Hanna's mom committed suicide because of Marcus. It was never because of Marcus, you tool. She had matched with Dr. Jekyll. The problem was that when he shifted into Hyde, she lost her match. It was transferred. No one knew that could happen. Suddenly she loved Marcus and he loved her. Terrified of having an affair, she went to Lydia. She struggled with the emptiness for years. Then they had Hanna. Imagine being a mother and feeling nothing for your child.”
I started to worry, forcing the feeling on myself.
Lorri nodded. “Now you get it. Marcus assumed she had chosen the doctor and threatened to kill him. She felt nothing for either of them though. She took her life before either of them was ruined from her mistake. The spell has a cost, Sam. Every spell has a cost. Look at the guards that keep the darkness out. They cost Annabelle her life. So now you see how stupid you are.”