by Tara Brown
His dark eyes flickered when they saw mine. He whispered, “Shit.”
“Yup.” I sighed, closing the door.
Sam flashed, reappearing against me, pinning me to the door. His mouth was on mine instantly but I didn't mind. I didn't think about the fact I’d just thrown up. I even pulled my own shirt off as he stripped his jeans down. We flashed and he was on top of me, between my legs. His body slid against mine as his tongue licked my throat.
I groaned, kissing and writhing against him.
His huge hands pulled at me, kneading as if he was trying to meld us.
I moaned.
A cold rush of air burst between us and suddenly I was standing in the hallway at Giselle's in my underwear and tank top with one sock on. Aimee was wide-eyed next to me.
“What the hell was that?” I asked breathlessly.
Aimee burst out laughing as I burst into tears.
“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.” Aimee held her hands at her lips. “Oh my God.”
I sank onto the floor to sob into my hands. I felt like a piece of my heart was suddenly missing. Like I’d given it to him as we ripped at each other’s clothes. “What was that?” I was lost in it all.
But only for a second.
He reappeared and I closed my eyes, waiting for his kiss, but instead, his fingers bit into my arm and suddenly we stood on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Cold wind whipped my dark hair around my face.
I turned to see Sam standing beside me.
His dark eyes were filled with passion. “I've got to admit something—”
“Wait,” I cut him off, “I think I know what’s happening. Lydia said witches are more sensitive to sirens and angels. Dorian makes me want to touch him and I would run away with Oliver tomorrow. You—well, you make me feel like I have found the other half of my soul. But it’s not real.”
He took a step closer. “It's not real,” he repeated.
“We shouldn't do this.” I reached out for his chest and ran my fingers down his bare torso. “It feels real,” I whispered.
He nodded and took another step closer so that our chests were touching. He stared down on me the way I always imagined he would. “I want it to be real.”
“Me too.” I gulped and let his arms fold around me. “What about Hanna?”
“I can't make myself love her.” He lowered his lips on mine and gently brushed against them. “I don't think I can stop myself.”
“Then don’t,” I muttered into his mouth.
He dragged me down to the mossy ground. His hands made fire wherever they touched. He ran them along my stomach and hips. I shivered as the cold wind chased his fingers along my skin. He bent his face and kissed me, running his fingers over my tank top.
Slow-burning warmth ignited in my stomach. I moaned as the cold wind whipped across me.
“I want to love you for real, Ophelia.”
I realized what he had said and froze. “This is wrong. You don't love me for real. This is just like Jake.”
“Yes,” he murmured into my neck.
“Oliver, stop.” I pushed at him.
“Sam.” He paused.
“What?”
He looked angry. “Sam.”
“Okay.” I didn't understand what we were talking about.
“You called me Oliver.”
“I didn’t.”
“I heard you crystal clear.” He said it angrily. “I want you but not if you don’t want me.”
“I don't know what I want.” I swallowed and licked my lips. “This isn’t real, Sam.”
“It feels real.” He kissed my cheek. “Do you want Oliver?”
“Well, it's just that—you know. He's like you, and all you guys mess with me. Like I said, Dorian and Oliver and you. Sometimes I even feel like that about Lucas.”
“Right. But you can tell the difference between me and them, right?”
“I guess.” For the first time, I noticed the weight of him was hurting my back. He was pinning me to the ground. I struggled a little. “Oliver, I want to go home.”
He pushed me into the ground again. “IT'S SAM!” he screamed in my face.
I flinched. “I know. You're scaring me, Sam. Get off.”
“I want you to want me! To love me!”
“Please, not like this, Sam.”
His fingers bit into my wrists.
“WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME? WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME THE MOST?” He wrapped his hands around my throat.
“Sam!” Someone else spoke. Their voice was like angels singing. Sam was knocked off me, and in a flash of color, he was gone. I was alone, lying on the cliffs with the wind whipping around me.
Relief and agony washed over me simultaneously. I sat upright, shaking, and pulled my knees into my chest. I jerked my head back and forth, trying to brush away the look in his eyes. He had looked insane.
Shadows slithered about on the ground like baby snakes. They surrounded me like a wreath of shadows in the moss. The wetness of the moss soaked into my underwear, making me even colder as I rocked back and forth, blanketed in darkness. A pool of writhing eels made of evil.
I knew now why Lillith called the magic of the garden. The helplessness of being pinned underneath someone was enough to destroy a person.
Even worse was knowing my attraction and want of Sam hadn’t faded or diminished at all. I wanted him more as the distance between us grew.
Where was Oliver?
Why had he left me here?
The ocean was gray and wild below me, and above the sky was filled with angry-looking clouds.
“Ophelia.”
I flinched at the sound of my name but turned to find Hanna and Aimee standing beside me. Hanna's cheeks were soaked in tears.
Seeing her made it all worse. I covered my face in shame. The realization that my magic had made a monster out of the sweetest man alive drowned me. Sam wouldn’t hurt me and I knew it. I had destroyed the pure love he had for Hanna and broken both of their hearts. Not to mention, the happy couple I had destroyed the night before.
“I’m so sorry.” I forced myself to meet Hanna’s eyes.
“I've got her,” Oliver spoke softly, standing across from Aimee. I sat in the middle of them, sobbing.
Hanna came and knelt on the ground next to me. “Sam sent me a text. He sent a message saying what he did. He’s so upset.”
“I did this.” I wept. “I broke him.”
Aimee snarled, “He did this.” She pointed at Oliver. “He told Sam how to fix it but it was a lie.”
“Yeah, he did do this,” Hanna agreed. “We can’t trust him. We can get them back without him.” She gripped me tightly.
Oliver’s eyes sparkled with fear and trepidation, but I knew I couldn't trust him. They were right.
I put a hand out to Hanna. “I want to go home.”
Aimee reached for us and in a flash, I was in the bathroom at Giselle's, standing in front of the massive soaker tub.
Aimee started filling it with water. “We need you to calm down and then we have to go save your sister and mine. Can you do that?”
“Okay. I think I can be ready in an hour.”
Aimee nodded and they both walked from the bathroom.
I tried to sense Sam but he was nowhere close.
I pulled my dirt-covered underwear and tank off and stepped into the huge tub. When it was full and the bubbles got to my neck, Aimee came back in and sat on the toilet across from me. “I don’t have to tell you what this has done to him.”
“No, you don't. Lydia told me not to meddle. She told me not to do magic. She said I wasn’t ready.” I wanted to cry but there were no tears left.
“Screwing up is how we learn, just so you know. It’s Roses Academy tradition to ruin everything. They always give you enough rope to hang yourself.”
“That's nice of them.” I scoffed.
“I did it too,” her voice cracked.
“You did?” I saw the pain in her face.
“Yeah. When
I was first changed, I murdered a girl in the woods outside my town. Dorian let me kill her. He let me think she was a sweet, innocent girl.” A tear escaped her gray eye. She wiped it away and laughed at herself. “I learned later that she was a nanny to these kids and she hurt them on purpose. When she was found dead, washed up on shore, the news did a report on it. The family she’d been a nanny for were under investigation for her murder. She was a bad woman. Anyway, Dorian snatched her, let me murder her, and he let me believe she was an innocent. He did it to scare the shit out of me, so I wouldn’t murder anyone else. I would remember the terror on her face and never let my powers get the best of me.”
“That's awful.” I shuddered.
“It was.”
“Have you hurt an innocent since then?”
“Nope. I've only killed what deserved death. Her face haunts me, even now that I know she wasn't good.” Aimee spoke as though she was reliving the entire thing.
“It was madness in Sam’s eyes. He wasn’t himself. My magic has ruined him. He was a bright, beautiful person and I've ruined him.”
“Yes,” Aimee agreed. “And you will never forget that pain.”
“I just want to run away and hide and not hurt anyone else,” I murmured, drowning in shame.
“I know. I swam all the way to Portland the morning I murdered her. I was terrified to be with my family. I crawled from the harbor and slept amongst the homeless and disgusting garbage of the city. Lydia found me one day. She sensed me. I was starving. She used magic to hold my hands at my sides and brought me home. She locked me in a room, and once a day, she would unlock the door and put a bad person inside. I would kill them and then she would take them out. She did that for two months, until I'd gotten to the point I could talk again. Then Lydia forced Dorian to help me get it under control. Aleks came every day to check on me. I killed sixty-one people in two months.” She relived it and then softened. “Every day, I imagined what it would have been like if none of it had happened. What university I would have gone to and what city I would’ve lived in. What my husband would have looked like and my kids. I imagined the Christmas holidays and lazy summers. But then I imagined what the girl who I murdered would have done with her life. Eventually, she would have killed someone. I stopped that.” Her eyes flickered to mine. “There is no fixing what we are, but there is learning to control it. Take the pain and make it the parameter that you never go beyond.”
“What am I going to do about Sam?”
“We have to focus on the big stuff. We need to rescue my sister and yours, and we need to stop your dad. We don’t have time to worry about anything else right now.” She got up and left me with that.
The horrible truth.
I wondered if that was why Lydia and Annabelle had let me stay at Giselle’s for so long. If they had known that would happen and maybe it needed to.
Chapter 25
Hard to take
Sam
Shame and pain battled for the top spot in my heart. I was mortified at my actions. It was hazy. My siren side had taken over and nearly done something I would’ve never been able to take back. I wanted nothing but to touch Ophelia and tell her how sorry I was, but I knew she would be terrified of me.
I was terrified of me.
I paced my bedroom at Lydia's until I couldn’t take it any longer and then flashed directly to Giselle's. I stood outside in the woods, studying the windows.
The air stirred and suddenly Oliver was behind me.
He lunged at me but pulled me into an embrace and hugged me. I collapsed. Heaving, crushing sobs quaked my body.
“I didn’t know, Sam. I didn’t know,” Oliver chanted, holding me tightly. “I am so sorry. This is all my fault. I didn't know.”
I wanted to hate him but I was lost in a sea of hopelessness. The void of emotions had caught up with me and it was drowning me.
Oliver cradled me against his chest.
“What are you guys doing here? Get off of him.” Aimee shoved Oliver away and pulled me into her embrace. “Sam, it's not your fault. O knows it's not. She knows,” Aimee whispered into my ear, running her fingers through my hair.
“Aimes, I can't do this. I need to spend some time away from you girls. I can't do this.” I turned to Oliver, “I know you didn’t think this would happen.”
“Thank you.” Oliver’s eyes were filled with emotion, but he sounded wooden.
Aimee stood up, looking defeated. “I love you, Sam.”
“I know. I love you too, Aimes. But I just need some space, okay?”
She bit her lip and was gone in a whirl of the wind.
“I know you came to see Ophelia, but you can’t. Even if you just want to apologize,” Oliver spoke softly. His words made me angry which told me he was right. He wasn't keeping her from me, like I’d thought. He was protecting her from me.
“I know.” I flashed home again before anyone else saw me, and collapsed onto my bed and waited for the darkness to take over.
“Sam.”
Annabelle sat in the corner, waiting for me.
“I can’t right now, Annabelle.” I sighed.
“I knew your momma, Sam. She’s a good woman. She would be proud of the man you become. I knew your daddy too. He was a good man. The things about his death that you know, about Miss Lorri, they true. Miss Lorri had a moment likes you having right now. She never meant it. She loved Anthony like a brother. And she ain’t never been the same since that moment.”
“Not now, Annabelle,” I repeated.
“Now is the only time we got. You all got to go tonight. Your momma needs you to go back to the mansion and tell them that Jonathan is going to try to kill Lillith tonight. I seen it. Them blue ghost girls ain’t been here in a week. They been stuck over there, with Jonathan. He got them all drained up now. Ophelia don’t know it yet, but her brother has their magic. Ophelia has lost the fight.”
“Why can’t you tell them?”
Annabelle smiled. Her ghostly gray eyes were spooky on a good day, but when she was annoyed they were downright horrifying. “You gotta save your momma, Sam. She’ll die in there if you don’t free her. Them Roses ain’t going to free your momma. Only you can do that.”
“Fine,” I grumbled and flashed into the living room at Giselle's. I felt naked when I saw Ophelia. She was changed and clean, her dark hair was wet. She was sort of a mess, but to my heart, she was stunning. I couldn't fight my feelings for her.
She didn't feel the same though. Ophelia flinched when she saw me. My heart broke but I forced myself to speak, “Your brother has the magic of the other six. Your dad made him take it today. They'll try to kill Lillith tonight, apparently.”
“But Lydia said it wouldn't be until my birthday.”
I shrugged. “Guess something is up. We have to go tonight.”
Aimee walked into the massive room. “You're back. What's going on, Sam?”
“We need to move tonight. They'll kill Lillith tonight.”
“We were planning to go anyway. Why does Lorri want to go now?” Aimee pursed her lips in thought for a moment before she pulled out her phone and sent texts.
“I don't know. Lillith’s going to die tonight. Something about ghost girls giving their power over already.” I honestly didn’t care. I didn't even want to free my mom. I just wanted to say sorry. “I'm sorry,” I said in a low voice.
“Not as sorry as I am.” Her face flushed as a tear slipped down her cheek.
I didn’t know how to respond. How could she feel guilty over my attacking her?
Oliver walked in and paused, giving me a disappointed stare.
“Jonathan will kill Lillith tonight.”
Oliver's eyes widened. “Why so early?”
“The sisters already gave up their magic.” I didn't really understand what this meant completely.
Oliver paused for a moment and then looked like he'd been hit with a hard dose of obvious. “Oh shit.”
I didn’t follow along. I stared at O who s
tared back at me. Both of us in agony.
Dorian appeared out of nowhere just ahead of Lorri.
Lorri sneered at Oliver, “What's he doing wandering about?”
Oliver laughed. “Let’s focus, Lucifer. Jonathan will kill Lillith tonight. He can use the sisters’ magic if Tristan can hold it.”
“He can't hold it until they turn eighteen,” Lorri growled.
Oliver shook his head. “No. They can wield it at any time. The other sisters are eighteen. Once their power is taken, it pushes their age. The sisters took their power as they died; it forced them to do it. So even though they were infants, they instantly became eighteen. If Tristan has taken their power, it pushes his age to eighteen as well.”
“Holy shit! Why didn't we know this?” Lorri’s eyes darted to O.
“I did know this; I just didn't know it was relevant.”
“Have you seen your sisters?” Lorri growled.
“No. I haven’t. I haven’t seen them in days.”
Lorri grimaced. “Shit. Great. We need to go now.” She turned to Dorian. “Get Ari and Luke. I'll get Brandon and Giselle. Aimee, we need Lydia and Hanna.”
All of them vanished, leaving Oliver and I standing facing each other with Ophelia in the middle.
Her face was flushed when she met my gaze. I opened my mouth to apologize again, but she stepped closer and put a hand up. “I know. If I could take it all back, Sam, I would. I would rather die than hurt you.”
“Then you understand how I feel.” I flinched.
“I do.”
Aimee appeared with Hanna and Lydia in tow. Lydia ran to me, hugging me into her. “My boy.”
I wanted to cry again but fought the urge. Hanna stayed back, watching me.
I should have had feelings for her. I wished I could reciprocate the ones she had for me. The emptiness gave me an idea. I whispered into Lydia’s ear, “Is it possible to take the feelings Hanna has and mirror them so I feel what she feels, instead of what Ophelia feels?”
“What?” Lydia backed up. “Actually, yes. I believe there is.” Her face sunk again. “But you’d still have no control over your emotions. You’d feel what she did. Nothing else.”