by Tara Brown
I remembered it all. The switches with Ari. The deaths we'd lived through.
Dorian.
His smile and sneer. The way he kissed me when we were alone. The way he watched me all the time. The heartbreak was bigger than anything I've ever lived through. Bigger than my mother. It was over as fast as it had hit. I pulled the feather from my bra and held it to my face. Other memories filtered in.
My heart panicked. Aleks. I needed him. I scanned the street for Shane. He was gone.
Marcus saw me and laughed, even though I could tell he was in terrible pain. He howled and screamed some more.
“What did you do to him?” I asked Henry.
“Gave him a heart again. Feelings. You just suffered through a couple of years’ worth of feelings. He is suffering through hundreds of years’ worth.”
“You must free her too.” I pointed to where Annabelle was lying on the grass, reaching.
“I know. There will be no safe place when I do.” He grinned. “Except Marcus’.”
He flashed to where Annabelle was and reached through the guards. He touched her hand and pulled her to him. He touched her chest which was still heaving and sobbing. Annabelle was in such a fit, she didn’t look at me. She didn’t even try to say goodbye. She clutched him as he put the light out. It hurt me that she had left and didn’t say goodbye, but I got it. Lydia was her Ari.
Sam flashed back without Hanna. He spied Lydia's dead body and broke into a run. His face was drawn and pale. He skidded on the ground to her. He shook and hugged her. His screams were louder than Marcus’. “NOOOOOOO!”
It was too much death. Too much for one heart and one day.
Chapter 22
My heart won’t go on
Aimee
“I give them back to you, spirit. I give their souls to you and offer you their love. Please accept them, Father and Mother,” Sam whispered. His face resembled mine. He was broken and couldn't cry anymore. He continued to translate the words spoken by Henry. “Heal them and take away the pain they’ve suffered for the cause. Replace the pain and suffering with joy and love and let them always have each other.”
Henry tossed ashes into the wind. It made a tornado and shot up into the sky. Flowers started to fall slowly. They fell over top of where we sat in the grass and they grew roots. A daisy landed in front of me. Green vines crawled from the bottom of the stem and dug into the grass. The smell of the flowers was everywhere. It blew in the soft early summer breeze. The flowers became an instant meadow.
Giselle heaved and sobbed. Lydia and Annabelle were the only parents she had ever really known. She was a mess. She shook me violently just by touching me. Ben wrapped himself around her and pulled her in. Ben and Luke were in rough shape. Ari was still missing.
“What is Henry exactly?” I whispered to Sam.
He leaned in and spoke so softy, I almost didn't hear the words, “One of his parents was one of the first three children of Lillith. The other parent was of the Stag's people. The man Lillith was waiting for when Adam raped her. He was one of her witch children's children. He was a shaman. It’s part animal, part witch. Very strong. The magic combines and makes something almost unbeatable. Henry could take us all on. He can control nearly anything. If he had murdered Marcus, even to get back his own heart, it would’ve made him a port for the darkness. The evil would have gotten to him. He would have become like his brother. Then Jonathan could have made him work for him.”
“Did you know all this already?”
“No. I never knew Jonathan had a plan for Henry. I thought he was mad because Marcus tricked Henry. I guess it was an act. Pretty convincing.”
“What happens now?” I asked.
“Believe it or not, we have to go live at Marcus’.”
I gazed around the meadow at the children. “They can't stay there. He’s horrid.”
Sam grinned. “Not anymore.”
“We have to deal with Shane, kill Jonathan and Lillith, and Ophelia’s a nightmare now. Plus, we have to get Ari back.” My stomach sunk. It had been so long since she was taken. I feared the worst. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help it. “I feel numb.”
“Me too, Aimes.”
I leaned into him and glanced up at Aleks who stood next to Henry.
“He isn’t going to let us kill Lillith.”
“No.” Sam agreed. “He isn't. We have to kill Jonathan. That’s the main thing.”
“And get Ari back,” I added.
His eyes hardened with fear. “I'm glad you remember me again,” he whispered and squeezed my leg.
“Me too.” I wasn't glad I remembered everything else. Seeing it the other way was simpler. Now every bad thing I'd ever done or experienced crawled around inside me.
Turning to Aleks I knew he was way more distraught than he let on. I knew him better now. He didn’t do worked up or emotional, but he looked like he might today. His fingers trembled. He clenched them to stop it when he saw my stare.
I couldn't imagine being him in this moment.
His father was dead.
Dorian was dead.
Lydia and Annabelle were gone.
O and Oliver too.
There were so few of us left.
I slipped my hand into the top of my shirt and felt for the feather. The softness of it between my fingers reminded me of the debt I owed.
Giselle shook, her and the little kids. Memories of Lydia and Annabelle hit us all. Things I clung to desperately. I understood Marcus a little. He had clung to Hanna for the little bit of life he could suck from her.
I picked a flower and ate it. I didn’t know why. I just needed something. It was bitter and silky and I knew it was a piece of Lydia that was going to stay inside me forever.
“I'm ready to go, Aimee,” Danny whispered.
“Okay.” I stood up and took his chubby hand in mine. The service was over. I winked him to Dr. Jekyll's house.
“This is a good place for you. You'll be safe and you're nerdy enough that Blake and the doc can use your help.”
We walked up to the house. Roland was at the funeral. I knew he wasn’t home yet.
Danny didn’t say anything as we got to the door and knocked.
Hanna answered, not smiling, “Hi, Aimee.” Her words were mechanical.
“Hey. Do you remember Danny?”
“No.” She shook her head. She didn’t really know any of us.
Her face lit up when she peered past me. I turned to see the grinning face of Sam with Roland. Roland was less than impressed to see me.
“Roland,” I muttered.
“Miss James.” His words were terse.
Sam stumbled through his words, “H-hi. Uhm, I-I'm Sam.”
Hanna grinned and I could smell her polluting the air worse than before. It was like being in a field of flowers you were allergic to. I dragged Danny through it. He was grinning at Hanna too. I tugged. “No,” I muttered.
He smiled. “She still smells pretty.”
“Let’s just stay away from that, okay?” I hurried inside and knocked on the door to the office.
“Come in, Aimee.”
I opened the door with a quizzical look on my face.
Blake grinned. “We knew it was you. Those boots you wear.” He turned his head back toward the doctor. “She really was a normal nerd once. But like the saying goes, 'Be yourself. Unless you can be Wonder Woman.' And there she is. In the flesh and blood, only with black boots.”
I scowled. Blake didn’t understand the last couple of days. The doctor barely did.
“This is Danny. He can help.”
I smiled down at Danny. “Just like Lydia's. No going outside, no leaving the house, period. Blake plays WOW too. I'll be back to check on you.”
He rolled his eyes. “Kay, Mom.”
Blake laughed. The doctor lifted an eyebrow and fought a grin.
“Take care of him. He’s Nephilim.” I winked out of the house with my own grin. I didn’t need to see the horrified look on
the Jekyll's face to know it was there. Everyone hated Nephilim.
I stood outside the castle and gazed up. I bit my lip and walked through the front door.
“GET OUT!” Marcus screamed as I crossed the threshold.
“No. I could use something to drink though.” I smacked my lips.
“I swear by the gods, I am going to—”
I winked to his lab.
He arrived a couple of minutes later, opening the door and bursting into a fit of laughter. He leaned against the frame. “I should have remembered. Oh, that's funny.”
“You let me in once.”
He laughed and turned away from the room. “You are such a bitch, Aimee.”
“I know.” I walked after him. “You’re no treat, Marcus. You turned Shane into a crazy psycho. You forced yourself on Hanna, using her weird siren juju. You killed Dorian.”
He turned sharply and put a dirty finger in my face. I noticed suddenly how disheveled and desperate he appeared. “You did that. You killed him. He never loved a single person, until you. Not one.” His smile was sick and satisfied.
I leaned into his face. “You betrayed us. You got O murdered and let them take Ari. I want to know where she is. NOW!”
He laughed in my face and lowered his hand. “You think I know where she is? You think Jonathan trusts me? I betrayed Lorri. Jonathan isn’t so dumb as to trust me.”
“Tell me!” I grabbed his collar.
He snarled his fangs at me.
“Please.” I laughed. “Go ahead. Take a long drink.” I tilted my head to the right, exposing my neck.
He trembled with anger and hatred. “I can’t. Even if you couldn’t kill me with one drink, I can’t.”
Tears filled his eyes. He pulled away and was gone, doing his fast running thing.
“That was weird,” I muttered.
“Not so weird.”
I spun to find Aleks behind me.
I smiled at the nice surprise. “How are you here? How did you know I was here?”
“I didn’t. I came to check on him.”
“Why?”
“Because he was my friend for a long time, and he’s heartbroken and destroyed. And even though he’s evil and rotten, I can’t change the fact he helped me kill my father and made things right in my world.”
“You're a very honorable person.”
He laughed. “No, I'm not. I just believe in an eye for an eye. Marcus has been punished. You cannot know how bad it is for him now.”
I put my hands on my hips. “So he lost Hanna. Big whoop. Now he has a heart and can feel. He doesn’t need her.”
Aleks crossed his arms. “That’s not the whole story, Aimes. Henry cursed the heart he put in Marcus’ chest.”
“Lydia's heart.” I never wanted anyone to forget that part. She had sacrificed herself to save Marcus.
He nodded. “Yes. He put a curse on it that was similar to the one I had. Marcus feels everything that his victims feel or have felt. His pain over the past couple of days has been brutal. He has endured the terror and pain and everything.”
“But why was he a good vampire last time, only taking what he needed, and bad this time? He wasn't a good person but he was a good vampire.”
Aleks shrugged. “It's the cost of what Ari does. Things change. Things she can't control. Think how easily Blake adjusted to you being what you are.”
“Yeah. He’s so good with it. But the first time, he tried to commit me.”
“Exactly. He has dealt with it subconsciously so many times, that when it came time to tell him on this occasion, he was cool with it.”
I realized how different things were between us. I remembered so many things.
“Come somewhere with me?” He offered me a hand.
I took it and we flashed to his house in the English countryside. The one we used to use to escape, once upon a time. He, Dorian, and Marcus owned it together. I smiled seeing the old country estate’s walls again. “Remember when I said I always saw us living here? My parents visiting. We would have two Irish wolfhounds and maybe bunnies and of course a cat. It would be Christmas and you and my dad would sit and talk by the fire, wearing those sweaters that Dorian always calls jumpers and mocks me—” My chest tightened as his name left my lips.
“Dorian doesn't talk anymore.” He regretted his words as much as I regretted mine. We both winced and looked away.
“If I could have died instead, I would have,” I said, but it didn’t improve things.
He walked down the stairs to the basement.
I followed him, catching the smell of something partway down. “What have you done?” I asked in a whisper.
Giselle sauntered across the basement with a grim expression. “Hey.” Her eyes were still red from the funeral.
“What's going on?” I almost didn’t trust either of them but I smelled Shane. Something was up.
“I have him calm,” she said.
“Giselle remembers the blood lust.” Aleks said it like he was doing something good.”
“So?”
“So she can help him. She doesn’t remember anything else, but she remembers blood lust. She thinks she can save him.”
Giselle smiled weakly at me. “Maybe, I can find out where Ari is too.” She hugged herself.
I wrapped my arms around her and breathed her in. Her body didn’t melt into me the way it used to. She was tense where I was soft.
“If you want, I can ask someone to give back all your memories.”
She shook her head. “I don't want them. I don't want to fight it again.”
“But you have happy memories. The memories of Lydia and O and Dorian.”
“I've had a good two years with them. And maybe it sounds weird but my heart remembers them from the other times.”
My eyes watered. “We did all love each other.”
Aleks wrapped his arms around us both and held us to him.
Giselle backed away from the embrace and walked to the door to the cellar. “Did you straighten out the Alise thing? She called me screaming about you guys vanishing.”
I laughed harder. “Blake has her convinced it was a bad dream, she had spent the night drinking a ton with Michelle.”
“Michelle?” She sneered and then looked sad. “Do you ever miss it? The normal shit? I just want to get trashed and let some boy take advantage of me.”
“I do.”
“I miss getting trashed and having sex and not feeling like eating the person. Sweaty sexy boys and me and the smell of booze. Jesus. Every guy now wants to be my husband.” Her voice became mocking. “I smell so good and look so good and taste so good, blah, blah, blah. Like, shut up. Jesus.”
Aleks looked like he might cry but she continued.
“I just want someone who can't see my beauty. Who can't smell my shit. Well, you know, not my shit, but like the succubus thing. I just want a guy who wants to just do it a lot and maybe buy me purses and stuff.”
I distracted her, “We should go to Cuba sometime. You love Cuba.”
She pointed at me and opened the door. “I know, right? I love Cuba. This place is depressing. I officially don’t like England. Boring. No wonder no one comes here for spring break. No girls gone wild in Hertfordshire.”
There was a blur and a snarl and she clotheslined Shane and jumped on top of him. She pressed her face to his. He was frozen once she did it.
“Giselle! I told you to chain him.”
She pulled away and grinned. “It's more fun like this.”
Aleks sighed. “You're going to be the death of me. I swear it.” He grabbed Shane and dragged him back into the cell. Giselle sat on the ground. “He tastes funny. It’s weird.”
“Can you kill him?”
She shrugged. “No clue. I mean, maybe. I never tried. I killed other vamps but they weren't Marcus’ vamps. That could change things.”
She stood and walked into the cellar. I followed. Shane seemed different. So different I felt like he too had died.
He lifted his face and grinned as his strength slowly filtered in. “You got some kiss, Giselle. Always did, I guess.”
She laughed. “And you got some pain in the ass nerve. Now tell me where Ari is or next time I suck until you die.”
He laughed. It was so bitter and hard, I didn’t know it. “Kill me. Do it. Free me. Kill me and let me go.”
“I'm sorry, Shane. I'm sorry for what happened. I didn’t know,” I muttered.
His blue eyes were hard and cold, like his laugh. “You know now, don’t you? You have it all back. Those memories of us, loving each other. You loved me. You chose me. You remember that?”
I nodded slowly. “I do. But we were different people then.”
Giselle slapped him hard across the face, drawing dark blood from his mouth. “Answer the question.”
“France. The South of France.”
I instantly recalled Phillip's request.
“Is Phillip in on this?”
He laughed and looked away.
Aleks looked confused. “Why?”
“No reason. I need to get out of here.” I turned and left. “We need to go to the doc’s and talk to Sam, Hanna, and Lorri.”
Aleks followed me out. “Giselle, you got this?”
She answered, “I do. Hurry up though, ‘cause for reals it’s boring. And dank. I finally understand what dank is. This shit-ass cellar is dank.” She kissed Shane on the lips, knocking him out. I winced. She chained him to the wall and left the cellar. She was so strong now. So much stronger than before.
“Love you, Giselle,” I said softly
She grinned. “Me too, Aimes. Hurry up. I wanna go to Cuba.”
Aleks put a hand out. “Yeah. Me too.” I touched him and we were at the front door of the Tudor.
Aleks lifted a hand to knock but the door opened. Lorri snarled at us, “About time.”
“Hey.”
She opened the door wide. We walked in and looked around. “Where is everyone?”
“Office. They got it. Blake and the doc got it. Hanna is Super Hanna minus the freak show changes and the weird blackouts.”
“No way.”
She mocked me. “Way.”
“You are such a bitch sometimes.”