by Tara Brown
“He’s coming. Lydia saw him here. She says she saw him in a vision.”
Poor Aleksander. His father is a train wreck. Annabelle told me that when Aleksander was a boy his father used to do horrid things. One night he did something terrible to the daughter of a shaman, like Henry. The shaman cursed Aleksander’s dad to become a werewolf and then cursed Aleksander so he would always show up just as the murdered woman died to clean up the mess his father left behind.
He has chased him for hundreds of years, trying to kill his own father and end the murders of the women. But he always shows up after the crime has been committed, feeding off the family members’ grief. It’s creepy.
If Lydia saw him about to commit the murder, then we have to act on it. We have to stop him.
That's where I come in. The ultimate bait for him.
I step out onto the highway, standing in the dark. I stare up at the moon and sigh as I remove the cloak that hides my scent.
I don't wait long before I catch a smell. It puts all the hair on my body on end. I have never seen him but the rumors make me sick in ways I can’t fathom. Even after Whit’s family’s torture room, I can’t bear this.
A twig breaks to the right as a large gray wolf appears. I try to signal Aleksander but he is looking the other way. The wolf pauses, shaking his head at me. He turns and breaks into a run. I sprint after him, shouting, “ALEKSANDER!”
I leap over a log, chasing after the wolf. I push my legs hard. Running as a witch I am unbeatable. As a vampire I am a monster. Vampires take with them the skills they had before they changed. If they were already a good shot, they’re an amazing shot when they turn.
I was a runner.
Thanks to Ramón, I have always been a runner. But the wolf is the natural enemy of the vampire. He is agile and fast in a way that even my natural talent can’t keep up with.
I run until I lose sight and smell of him. I stop, looking around the dark woods. I am out of breath but able to keep going, I just don't know the way. I’ve lost him.
The smell is everywhere so it’s hard to catch the trail. He’s been all over these woods, long before I got here.
“Lorelei!”
Aleksander runs up to me. I wince. “Sorry. He got away. I didn't stand a chance at catching him.”
“If you couldn't catch him, no one will.” He seems down. I point around the woods. “There’s a smell here. It's his. He’s been here a while. I don't know why he would be here.”
He folds his arms across his wide chest. I seriously want to bite him. He sighs, making the air smell like him. “He must be stalking someone.”
I pull my cell phone out and send a mass text with a photo.
Everyone starts to show up, landing in the woods in pairs. Dorian and Brandon, Lorri and a female vampire named Andy Cromwell, and Landry and Gwen. I point to the woods. “We have Aleksander’s dad in these woods somewhere. We need to hunt him down. He must be stalking someone, selectively picking his women now. The scent is everywhere. I had him on the run in here moments ago. He’s not far.”
Aleksander and I turn and enter the woods, hiking in the dark. “It’s three, I have about three hours till sunrise.”
Aleksander nods. “I’ll have you back home by then.”
“Deal.” We hike until we reach a town. It’s a tiny hamlet on the sea. The smell of the West Coast is different. Eventually, everyone else makes their way from the woods.
Lorri gives Aleksander a look. “You want help with your dad? Join the Roses Academy. We’ll break your curse.”
“I need this curse. I need to know what he does.”
“What did you learn today? He preselects his victims. It’s taken you hundreds of years to realize he stalks them. She caught that in five minutes. Let us help you.” She speaks with an irritated tone.
He doesn't budge.
Dorian offers me a hand. “Ride home?”
I take his hand, waving at Aleksander. “Sorry. I wish I could have been more useful.”
“I don't know who in Port Mackenzie he would be stalking but maybe he won’t attack, now that he knows we are watching the area.”
He is gone a second later. Lorri seems annoyed but Dorian winks us away before I have to listen to why. He winks right into my bedroom. “Oh my, I don't know how we ended up here.”
A grim smile crosses my lips. “No.”
He leans in, smelling my neck and planting soft kisses along my neckline. “What if I say I could love a girl like you?”
“Still no.” I close my eyes and tilt my head as his kisses climb my neck. He kisses my cheek, close to my lips and whispers, “What if I said I don't think I can love ever and I just want to feel less alone?”
“I wish I could.” I nod.
He pulls back, looking down on me. “Marcus? That wanker has you still—even after all these years?”
I bite my lip. “I’m not the casual sort of girl. I want to be but I feel bad afterward. My heart might be dead inside my chest but it still aches for him.”
The sentence makes him smile. “I know what you mean.”
He breaks my heart and makes me see what a fool I have been. I have that moment of love. It’s fleeting and we’re a disaster but I have it. I hold my hand out. “Can you take me there?”
He kisses my hand and winks. He leaves me in the yard, winking away instantly. Henry is at the door, looking snarky. I offer a slight wave. He shakes his head. He never approves. I walk to him, offering him my hands. He holds them to his round cheeks and closes his eyes. I close mine and I show him why. I know it’s the thing he wants to know.
I show him every kind moment and every tender word.
He shows me something else. He exchanges his memories for mine. He shows me a girl with red hair. She sings and every man bows. He shows me twisted and distorted images of her and Marcus. It appears old, older anyway. But there are recent images of a girl with red hair. She is similar to the one from before, but I can tell they are related somehow. The girl is sleeping and eating and living her life. I don't understand what he is trying to show me.
It makes me uncomfortable as though I’m stalking her or intruding on her life. “Who is she?”
He looks pained.
“Does he love her?” I have to face the fact that Marcus might have fallen in love again. It has been a long time.
Henry shakes his head and walks away. I don't think he believes Marcus is capable of love, not the way I think he is. Henry doesn't see Marcus the way I do.
It’s odd. I don't get it. I know their friendship is forced and some kind of magic holds them together, but Marcus won’t ever talk about it and Dorian’s lame story on it gave me no answers. But I don't get how Henry would stay, and yet hate Marcus so much. He keeps him safe but seems like he hates himself for it.
I look up at the sun about to rise when I walk in. I couldn't have timed it worse. Inside the house, I find Marcus in the front room. He looks different which is odd for a vampire. His eyes widen when he sees me, and I swear there is a slight grin but he fights it. He closes himself off to me. I literally watch as the wall is built up and he mockingly says, “Happy birthday, dear Lorelei.”
I swallow hard and regret coming. “Thank you for the painting.” He nods, sitting down in his chair like he is the master of the house and wants me to see it. He wants to hurt me. “I’m sorry, I have to go. This was a mistake.”
“WHY DID YOU COME THEN?” I already feel sick so when he shouts and smashes the wall next to him, I jump.
I never jump anymore.
My feet can’t hurry for the doorway fast enough, and yet he still grabs my arm, dragging me back in. He sounds mad, not angry but insane. “What—no shocking and electrocuting me? You don’t want to keep hurting me, Lorelei? You done then? You back now? Is my time for being punished for loving you over? You seem a bit like you’d rather go into the morning sun and die than stay in here with me?”
I stop fighting him, hating the tears rolling down my cheeks.
“I didn't mean to hurt you. I just couldn't see why—why you would want to kill me inside like that.”
He grabs the hair on his head like a madman. “I wanted you to stay safe. That horde of vampires in that cave scared me. I hadn’t been scared in hundreds of years, you asshole! You scared me!”
I grab his hands, pulling them down. “I don't want to love you, any more than you want to love me but here we are.”
He starts to laugh like a madman.
I let go of his hands, hating that I have spent fifty years away from him. They feel wasted, abandoned and worthless without him in them. I start to sob harder as words stumble from my lips. “I hate that I have saved hundreds of lives. I have killed monsters in every corner of the world and none of it feels like it’s worth a single damn because every moment is missing something I made myself live without. I don't want to live without it anymore. I don't want to fight my feelings for you. I don't want to pretend that what you done for me don't matter none because Angie can’t come back. I don't want to pretend that every single moment with you in it isn’t better than any moment without you.”
He grabs my face, crashing our faces into each other. His lips are just as desperate for me as I am for him. Hands scramble, clothes fly away or are obliterated, and when my back crashes into the leather of the couch I feel like I am home. I close my eyes, gripping him as his fangs pierce my flesh. I hold tight to him, scared I might be dreaming again. The intimate acts of desperation change everything and nothing.
“Who is she?” I ask afterward, lying in his arms.
He shakes his head. “Whoever you want her to be.”
“The redhead?”
His eyes dart behind the couch to the huge panting of a redhead on the floor. It has the same custom framing my painting he got me has. I would even say the same artist painted them. “She’s a girl I used to know.”
I pull back. “Who is the other redhead then?” Oh God, what was Henry trying to show me?
Marcus’ breath hitches. He is frustrated and contemplating lying. “The daughter of the woman I loved.”
“You been watching her? Is she your daughter? Is that even possible?”
“No.” He swallows hard, licking his lips and squinting. He’s going to lie. He acts like he might start a sales pitch of some sorts. “She’s like you. She can make vampires feel.”
I climb off, leaving him with just the sleeves of his shirt on. I grab a blanket from the back of the couch and shake my head. He sees he’s said the wrong thing. He opens his mouth but I hold a hand up. “She’s like me. She makes you feel something. So I’m replaceable now that I can’t make you feel things? I can’t—” Tears rain down my cheeks as I pause. “I can’t make you feel with my blood because you killed me so you need a new me? So because you broke me, you don't want me anymore? Oh my God.” I turn and run for the front door. I cover myself with the blanket the best I can and a protection spell I make up as I sprint out into the morning sun. It stings a little but it doesn't burn.
He tackles me to the ground and covers me with his body. “DON’T DO THIS! I DIDN’T MEAN IT THAT WAY!”
I kick him away, pushing with air and fire. He screams something but I turn and run for the woods like I did once before.
Until I realize I left my cell phone and my keys.
Unlike the sixties, I have to go back. I don't want to. I face the sun and turn toward his house where he is still kneeling in his driveway. I haven’t been in the sun in a long time. I miss the brightness of day.
A sob heaves from my lips. I can’t go back there. I can’t face the hurt inside me. I don't have the emotional body to cope with it. I don't think I even did when I was human.
Something in the wind whispers to me. It tells me to be strong and remember who I am. It takes me a second before I realize I am standing in the sun, feeling the stinging warmth of the morning rays on my face. I can feel the glow. I’m not alone in the dark anymore.
He can’t hurt me anymore.
And I can get new keys and a new phone.
He paces the driveway shouting at me now. He’s demanding I come back. I turn and walk into the woods and remind myself to listen to Henry more often. He’s my grandfather, after all.
Chapter 23
I run from the woods and down the road wearing the sheet I stole from a clothesline. It reminds me of a toga.
I sprint across the lawn and dive through the door at Lydia’s, slamming it and pressing my back against it.
“Remind me again why you didn't want to just hook up with me?” Dorian asks as he saunters down the hall.
Seeing his face, I break. I slump to the floor. He lifts me into his arms and winks. Suddenly we are overlooking a massive valley like I have never seen before. There are craggy rocks with mist lifting from them. The grass on the red and brown hills of the jutting mountaintops is green and yellow, making it so colorful I can’t take it all in. But the showstopper is the emerald pool at the bottom. It is a single pool, quite large and so bright green I can’t imagine it’s real. I have never seen anything so beautiful at the same time as I have felt so much pain.
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and he doesn't ask. He doesn’t say a single thing. He sits next to me and holds me and lets me cry. He lets me melt into him until I fall asleep, regardless of the sun stinging my skin. When I wake, we are still there. The sun doesn't sting me anymore. It’s setting. I’m lying on the ground, wrapped up in my toga, and my head is resting on his lap. He’s running his fingers through my hair, twirling it around his fingers.
I don't have a lot of moments that I can say are amazing. I have been in the dark for fifty years loving a monster from afar. But this is amazing.
This is more than amazing.
I don't have fancy words to go along with what this is.
“Where are we?”
“Cerce Valley in France. It’s my favorite place in the world.”
I sit up and scowl. “You brought me to your favorite place in the whole world? Is this where you bring all the ladies?”
“I don't bring anyone here.” He speaks but doesn’t meet my gaze. When he does finally turn around, his black eyes look haunted. “But you seemed like you needed a miracle.”
“I did. Guess you were my miracle. Thank you.” I lean my head on his shoulder and look out at the amazing view as the sun vanishes behind all the mountains.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head.
“Good. I thought it might be the polite thing to say, but I was truly hoping you would keep it to yourself.”
He makes me smile.
“How are you in the sunlight?”
“A spell. I panicked, leaving in such a hurry I cast something around myself and it worked. I don't even remember what it was.”
He gives me a funny look. “Have you gone out in the sun at all since you changed?”
“No.”
“So the sun might not have hurt you all along?” He grins.
I slump. “Well, shit. I don't know. The last time I was a vampire I burned my ass off.”
He starts to laugh, making me laugh too.
“I feel like some kind of fool now. Fifty years in the godforsaken dark and I might have gone in the sun. If that don't just put the icing on the screw-Lorelei cake I call today, I don't know what does.” I slap him in the arm.
“I do like it when you get all country bumpkin on us.”
I roll my eyes as he nudges me. “Can I show you something?” He sounds funny.
I glance down at his lap. “No. You have been sweet to me. Don't go wrecking it with your smarmy side.”
“I suppose I earned that.” He laughs. “Can we pretend for just a moment that you don't know I have a smarmy side? Then could I show you something completely unsmarmy?”
“That's not a word. I’m from the South and we make up words all the time, and I’m dang sure that unsmarmy hasn't come about yet.”
“It hasn't been given a fair chance the
n, because I dare say, it would catch on.”
I lift my hand. “Can I get clothes first?”
He shakes his head and winks. We’re in a forest and I’m still in a toga.
I sigh as he drags me to the edge of the forest where a fence meets the woods. We follow it behind several houses. He leads me to a street and I stop. “I need clothes.”
He takes my hand and winks. Suddenly we are inside a building full of books. It’s a library. He pulls me along the rows and stops, pointing at a girl at a table. She’s reading peacefully. The book looks massive. When I turn to ask him what the hell we’re doing here, I see it. His eyes are glued and his lips are parted and he’s in love, stalker style.
“Who is she?”
“I don't know. I saw her a couple of days ago when we tracked Aleks’ dad this way. I saw her and something hit.”
“Dorian.” I step back, shaking my head. I stand in the aisle where she can’t see me and whisper, “She’s like fifteen.”
“I’d say closer to seventeen but what does it matter? She is perfect. She’s simultaneously reading a book about neoclassicism and a college-level course on microbiology. She is one of the most bitter and sarcastic human beings I have ever heard speak. And yet, earlier today when I first saw her, she turned around on the sidewalk and crossed the road to help out some old lady, without even speaking to the lady much. She gets the lady to the other side and carries on like she hasn't done a single thing.”
I grab his hand and pull him into the shelving. “This is creepy. Like super creepy. You watched her help an old lady and now you're all into her?”
He scowls. “We were talking about miracles. I think she might be one. That's all.” He is rigid again and smarmy. “I didn't think I should see if I could take her to prom. I just wanted to show you something that was perfect in the world. Perfectly complex.” He winks and we are back at Lydia’s in the yard. He turns and walks away.
I realize what he was showing me and run after him. “I get it.”
He spins back, conflicted looking.
But I hold his arm. “I get it. She is that possibility. If you were a guy and she was a girl, she would be your girl. She is the wish, like staring down at the green pool at the bottom of that mountain. You look but you don't swim. You live but you never do anything but watch. You don't experience.” His brow furrows and I hang my head. “I get it. I go and visit my sister and use glamour to make sure I look like an old hag like her. I sit on her porch and pretend I still drink sweet tea. I don't get to live it. It’s an act for a day. I didn't earn a single gray hair or a single wrinkle. I don't get to be an old woman with her. I don't get to have any of those things because I’m frozen here, watching with you.”