by Tara Brown
“You guys didn't wait for me!” Sam stands at the side of the castle. He points. “I wanted to go with them.”
The kids are ready to turn and run for Sam. They trust him more than anyone. But the moment they take one step, they’re gone. Sam winks to the edge of the forest as they vanish, but he falls back as if he’s run into a wall we cannot see. He gets up, pounding on the wall. His hand is hitting something. He’s raging and screaming like a savage but I don't understand why. The next time he tries to hit, his hand goes through and he stumbles into the forest.
He stares back at us and screams as hot tears fall from his eyes.
Ari takes another step back but I maintain my stance. I don't understand why he’s so upset. I get that none of us loved the kids the way he did. In fact, I’ve detached myself from them in the last while, trying not to notice them or be too involved. The idea one was Lillith’s made me nervous about having to kill them.
It’s then, standing in the woods, listening to him scream that I realize he’s gone mad. It has nothing to do with the kids. He wanted to escape with them because of Hanna. I try to talk to him, regardless of the fact he’s acting like a complete nut, “Sam, baby, you have to calm down. They wouldn't want you to be like this.”
He drops to his knees and sobs, covering his face and shaking. Lorelei is back as I reach him. I shake my head at her, stopping her dead in her tracks. He cries so loudly my heart trembles with each shout and moan. “They didn't wait for me! That bitch didn't wait for me!”
There’s a flash and Lorelei is gone. Ari has winked to her and whisked her away before he can get angry with her. He doesn't notice. He’s lost his mind and is finally grieving the loss of love in his life. I kneel in front of him, letting him wrap himself around me and wail desperately into my hair. I hug him so hard it must hurt, but he doesn't say a thing. He just cries until he’s done and even then he sniffles and shakes. “I miss her. I miss the way she smells and the way she laughs, and the way I feel like a whole person when she’s there.”
Tears flood my eyes. I have never actually seen a man love as much as Sam does. He is one of a kind. I stroke his head and kiss the side of his face. “Missing her is merely part of getting over her. You don't need her back in your life, Sam. You need to miss her and eventually you’ll be able to move on.”
“I don't want to move on. I don't want her to love him.” He pushes me back, shaking his head. “I don't want her to love someone else. It isn’t real, not like us.” He shoves me and winks before I can touch him.
There is a horrible suspicion inside me when I try to guess where he’s going. I wink to the house and grab Ari’s hand without saying a word. I wink to England, to the countryside. There’s a scream and I wink inside. My eyes ache as I search the house for them.
“What’s going on, Aimes?” Ari asks.
I twitch a no and put my finger to my lips as I wink us from room to room. I could have sworn the scream came from the house, but as I search the last room I realize they must have been on the back deck. I wink us out there, gasping when I see a pile of black feathers. “No! No!”
Sam shakes, his head twitching back and forth. His dark eyes fill with liquid. When he stares at me they look like bottomless pools. “What did I do?” he whispers.
Hanna is the one screaming, and I have to assume Aleks is the pile of feathers. I step forward as the wind starts to send the outer feathers astray in the yard.
The shock and horror of the whole thing cripples me. I drop to my knees, aching and grunting my gasps and cries. They can’t escape my lips as a true cry for the air is stuck in there, blocked by the shock and agony of Aleks not being in the world. I pick up the single white feather, wanting so badly to clutch it. But it is not mine. His heart was not mine.
I turn, shaking with my silent sobs and pass it to Ari. She takes it and presses it into Hanna’s hand. Hanna drops to her knees, curling around the feather and crying in shrieks.
Sam is stunned. Through the kaleidoscope my eyes have become, I can see the shock on his face. He shakes his head. “We can’t die. I can’t have killed him. We can’t die.” His words are a chant of desperation and refusal to accept what has occurred.
Ari turns and slaps him hard. “WHAT DID YOU DO?”
He shakes his head. “I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.”
She grabs his wrist to wink but there’s an instant change in him. A cold calm takes over. He stops moving and shaking as a small grin creeps across his beautiful lips. I snatch Ari, dragging her back.
Hanna crawls to me, gripping my leg like a child might. “Kill me too. Kill me so I can find him.” The desperation in her voice is crushing. There is no sanity without him; I can see that. She will turn evil and we will end up fighting her instead of having her help us. Not that she has been much help.
I hate the fact she is Aleks’ true love when she was Sam’s. She was supposed to be his. I wish I didn't have to do the thing I am about to do. But if I were her, I would ask for the same thing. I grab her cheeks and lift her face, pressing my lips against hers and freeing her soul. She drops to the deck, bursting into a pile of black feathers. There is no white feather and the one Aleks left behind is gone as well.
I turn, confused and still stunned. The ball has not dropped for me. Reality is a painful awareness that the person I might have loved once, even if it was forced, is never coming back.
Sam’s face twists into an evil grimace. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”
I step back, shocked at the rage coming from him. “It was the right choice.”
He snarls at me, winks, and vanishes.
I collapse into a fit of tears and heartbreak. Ari collapses with me, hugging me and sobbing. We wail, alone and lost for what feels like an eternity as the black feathers fill the air. I want to lie on them, surround myself in his smell. I might not have loved him that way anymore, but I did love him in one way—he was my friend.
Ari is trembling against me when I hear something I couldn’t possibly hear. I turn, wondering if I too have lost my mind. But there she is. I stand quickly, dragging Ari up too.
The raven-haired beauty comes across the grass with a mist that freaks me out like a Stephen King movie. She pauses and tilts her head toward me. “I owe you.” Her voice makes my skin crawl. “I just wanted to stop in and say thank you. Without your betrayal of Aleks, my plan might never have worked.”
I swallow hard. “That’s not who I think it is, right?”
“Ari, darling. Look at you. As I live and breathe, you are the fairest in the land. Are you not?”
Ari scowls. “Who are you?”
“Lillith.” The name leaves my lips like the description of poison might. It dawns on me then where I have seen her beautiful and perfect face before. It was in the face of one of my best friends. Sam. “Sam is your child?”
Ari spins, shocked.
Lillith laughs, that same perfect evil-bitch laugh.
“It can’t be true. We would have known.”
I shake my head. “No, we wouldn't have. She’s done everything in her power to ensure neither he, nor we, knew who he was.”
Lillith stops laughing. “You are a smart girl. Now can you guess how on Earth I managed to fool Lorri? The infamous Lorri? God’s right hand, blah, blah, blah.” She angles her head up at the sky and screams, “THAT WAS THE HARDEST PART! WAITING FOR YOU TO COME AND GET HIM AND SAVE HIM! FOR ME!” She cackles some more and the whole picture starts to form in my head. Jonathan might have wanted the Nephilim kids, but it would’ve only been because he knew one of them was Lillith’s. He wanted the child because he or she was the key to winning the war as the antichrist. Jonathan probably knew all along.
The words feel dirty on my lips, like a lie even though I know they are not. “Sam is the antichrist.”
She claps her slender hands together. “Brava, Aimee. You really are the smartest one.”
I don't have a single thing to say in return. The thought that Sam is t
he antichrist takes up all the space in my head. I wince, realizing she must want to kill us. But she just waves and smiles. “Thanks again for tipping the scales in my favor. I never thought he would commit the sin I needed from him. I was terrified your influence over him might stop it, but I see Hanna’s betrayal really was the best chance. Had you and Aleks not stopped being an item, they might never have realized they were soul mates I separated a long time ago in hopes of this moment. Thank you.” She snaps her fingers as a flame shoots toward us, but before I can blink, I am gone. Ari has winked us to the spot where Aleks’ family is buried. Her face is swollen and red and I can’t breathe.
I want to find Sam and make certain he’s okay, but I’m scared of what he has become. I give Ari a hug as the senseless loss of life burns through me.
“We have to find Sam and make sure he’s okay. He can’t become the antichrist. She can’t win. We have to find him and make him good again.”
Ari nods, wiping her face. She pulls a handful of feathers from her pocket. “It’s Hanna and Aleks.” She walks to the spot we once buried him and digs at the ground. She pushes the feathers into the earth and covers it with a massive boulder the size of her own body. She lifts it as though it weighs nothing and places it over the spot where the feathers are. “Now they can be together forever.”
I ask, “I wonder how long Lillith has kept them apart?”
She shakes her head. “This is messed up.”
I wink us both to Lydia’s yard.
I see him long before Ari does since I know exactly where to check, and her eyes are stuck on the ruins of our beloved home. I wink and sit on the bench next to him. He’s trembling and breathing in a crazy way. “Aimes, I killed him. I didn't know I could.”
I turn, wiping my face. “Sam, you aren’t bad. Lillith made you love Hanna, made you think you were part siren and Hanna’s soul mate. But it wasn't true. None of it was. She made it all up. She did it so you would feel the heartache of Hanna’s betrayal and turn into her weapon. A weapon Lorri made stronger than Lillith ever could have.”
He shakes his head. “No. I am Hanna’s soul mate. She just got lost.” His tone is creepy, serial-killer creepy. He sounds like he keeps fingers in a box in his basement. “She will love me again.”
I grab his hand. “She’s dead. She’s gone. It’s time for you to realize you’re better off without her.”
He shoves me so hard I have to wink before I land in the water. He stands and holds his hands out, looking at them. “Help me, Aimes. Something is terribly wrong with me.”
I walk to him from the lake’s edge but he holds his hands up. “I don't want to hurt you. I love you more than I love myself, but I don't feel like I have a grip on this.” He winks and is gone and I have a terrible hunch about what is next.
Ari holds herself, staring at the broken and burned house. The whole neighborhood is a mess. The trees are down and the concrete is broken. It’s not the kind of place Lydia would have lived. I wink to Ari. “He’s gone and I don't think we will ever get him back.”
She stares at the rubble. “This is messed.”
I nod. “Very.”
“Aimee? Ari?”
I turn to see Oliver standing on the road—the broken and burned road. “Oliver?”
“Yeah.” He seems confused and lost. “Are you dead?” he asks.
“No.” I shake my head, walking toward him. “Are you here?” I turn to Ari. “Can you see him?”
She nods. “Guess it all just got a lot more messed.”
“Great, ‘cause that’s what we needed. More of a challenge.”
He furrows his dark brows. “Is Ophelia here?”
“No.” I shake my head. “You are the only person we have seen, who shouldn't be here.”
He winces and looks up. “Oh God.” He swallows hard. “I can only assume this is the point he meant.”
“What?” Ari cocks an eyebrow.
“He told us we would be coming back if any of you died.”
“All of you?” I ask, slightly hopeful for my own selfish reasons.
“A betrayer to take the place of a redeemer,” he mutters as his eyes dart behind me. He seems relieved and waves. “Hey, mate.”
I don't look. I’m scared of what I’ll see. But when I hear his voice the weight of the entire world comes off my shoulders. “Are we back?” he asks.
“We are,” Oliver replies.
I turn to see Dorian standing on the burned and dead grass. His dark eyes narrow. “Are you real?”
“Are you?” My face cracks into a huge grin.
“You are real?” he repeats.
Ari runs to him, wrapping her thin arms around him. “DAD!”
He hugs her back, closing his eyes and sighing. “Oh, thank God, this is really happening.”
I feel warmth behind me as Oliver comes and embraces me. He smells me and beams, “They’re real; Aimee sort of stinks. Real angels rarely stink.”
Dorian drags Ari to me and wraps his arms around us both. “My girls.”
Holding us all, I wink to Shane’s, just in case.
Chapter 11
All the reasons not to be in love
“Explain it to me once more.” Blake paces, waving his hand at me.
“Once upon a time—”
“Don't be an ass. Just the basics,” he snaps. Dorian’s eyebrow cocks at the tone of Blake’s voice.
“Hanna and Aleks were always soul mates, always. We think his father’s curse prevented him from ever finding his soul mate. Then he met me. He loved me and I loved him, but it was never to the depth he and Hanna would have.”
Dorian mouths, “Or me and you.”
I roll my eyes and continue, “Aleks was the most loyal person on the planet.”
Dorian mouths. “Apart from me.”
I lift my middle finger into the air and continue, “Aleks fought his attraction to Hanna until he became an angel and started doing whatever the hell he pleased.”
Blake shakes his head. “That doesn’t explain Hanna fighting her attraction to him.”
“That was Lillith’s doing. She spelled Sam when he was a baby, we think. It’s the only way it makes sense. She spelled him and convinced Sam’s mom that she gave birth to him. So everyone believed he was half siren.”
Blake nods. “That’s why he wasn't able to go into the black water.”
Lorelei shrugs. “They said he wasn't no half angel and had bad juju.”
“Right—and Lillith, though she had ‘first human ever’ status in the beginning, was no siren or human. Whatever the hell she was, she’s close to angel, and she’s got all that stolen magic from the fae. They must hate her for what she took from them.”
Blake looks constipated. “So Hanna and Sam always believed they were in love because Lillith wanted it that way?”
“She forced the match on purpose, using glamour. She knew eventually Hanna would find her soul mate, Aleks. Lillith wanted Sam to have his heart broken and destroyed. She must have known Lorri would change us all into something, breaking the glamour and crushing Sam.”
“Of course.” Dorian spoke aloud instead of uttering cheeky shit under his breath, “Lorri’s power sort of reset everyone and everything. Lillith’s spell would have been washed from them.”
Blake grimaces. “This is terrible. So not only can we die, even though she said we couldn't, but one of us is the antichrist. And on top of that, all the little kids with magical powers that could have helped us are in the garden, protected.”
Marcus nods at Dorian. “Welcome back.”
Dorian eyes me up. “Thanks, Brother.” He takes my hand in his and tugs. “It was lovely seeing you all, but I have some discussion of my own to have before we can move on with our war and strategizing.” He winks and we are in his apartment in the city. It’s exactly as it was, only now it smells like a musty old coffin. He makes a face and walks to the drapes, drawing one back and cracking the window. As he does, smoke comes billowing in. He closes it
again and shrugs. “Guess we will go for option number two.” He takes my hand and winks again. We are in the English countryside, staring at the burning remains of Aleks’ house. “Seriously?” He winks again, making me shudder. We are in a bedroom at a house I have never seen before. He nods. “That's better.” He turns and grins. “Hi.”
“Hi.” My stomach aches with the desire for him to touch me and with the oddest bit of guilt that we shouldn't be doing this.
He runs his hand down my cheek, moving my hair from my face. “I have a thousand things I want to say to you. I never imagined I would get the chance.” He steps in closer. “And now that you and I are alone and here, I don't give a rat’s arse about a single one of them.” Passionately, he grabs my face and crashes roughly down upon me. His grip doesn’t lessen as his mouth spreads mine apart savagely. The kiss is intense but the ripping of our clothes is worse.
When we fall asleep wrapped in each other, I’m still scared this is all a dream or a spell or something worse.
However, I wake and he’s still with me. I close my eyes and sigh, grateful for another moment.
He’s sleeping until he feels my eyes on him. “Are you watching me sleep?” he asks without opening his eyes.
“No.” I scoff, hating that my cheeks are blushing.
“Liar,” he mumbles and pulls me into him, kissing the top of my head. “If I’m dreaming, I don't want to wake up. Ever. I want this to be my version of Heaven, us here right now.”
I want to agree with him but I want Sam saved. Even if it means killing him. I want him free of Lillith’s evil taint. But this isn’t the moment to bring that up.
“I knew we were made for each other. The moment I saw you trying so hard to be complex, and yet getting lost in a romantic painting, I knew.” He kisses me again. I run my hands down his cheeks, holding his face as if it were breakable. “I love you, Dorian. I love you more than I can ever explain. And the thing I love the most is that this is real. There is no magic, and in fact, we shouldn't be together for every reason under the sun. But we are and it’s because our love is genuine.”