by Tara Brown
I wrap my arms around him, pulling my wings back in. “I will.”
He runs his hand along my cheek. “Don't tell your mother or Blake’s parents. They are already very fragile.”
Blake leans into the hug too. “Thanks for being cool, Mr. James.”
My dad sighs exhaustedly. “That's me. The cool dad.”
It makes me grin. He is the opposite of what one would perceive as cool, but he has always been the coolest to me.
We walk back out into the kitchen where they’re laughing. I hear the tension in their voices. It’s slight and gets worse when any one of their gazes draws toward my sister’s massive belly. She’s eating peanut butter with a spoon from the jar. She grins at me. “I know the baby books say you shouldn't eat peanut butter, but I crave it so bad, and I have a feeling the baby will be fine.”
I almost laugh but I manage not to. “Yeah, she’ll probably be fine.”
“You think it’s a she too?”
I nod.
She gives Blake a smug look. “See, told ya.”
He rolls his eyes. “I never argued.” She falls into his arms, kissing his cheek. “So can you stay till after the baby is born?” She bats her huge lashes at him. She really is beautiful in every single possible way.
He glances at me before answering, “Yup.”
I rub her back. “He can stay as long as you need him. No one will care. They know he needs to be here.”
She squeals. I am dying inside and need to leave, but I know I have to stay too. “I’m going to take a nap.” I flash a quick wink at Blake. He nods back.
As soon as I’m in the room with the door closed, I wink back to Shane’s. He and Giselle are playing crib but both freeze, staring at me. Shane stands, knowing immediately that something is wrong. I collapse and start bawling again like a child. It’s been my thing all day long.
Shane wraps himself around me in a way that is familiar and normal. Giselle comes in the back, wrapping around me there. I tremble with rolling sobs and heaves.
I can’t shake it—the sadness and loss and everything and yet nothing has happened. I am safe. My parents are safe. My sister is safe, for now.
So many have lost everything and I have lost nothing. The cost of what I will lose seems like I have weighed it for the first time, and now I can’t bear the price. It’s too much for the world to be this full of sadness and pain. It isn’t fair.
Ari comes into the room, dropping to her knees and joining the embrace. “It’s going to be okay, Aimes. She’s going to live. You wait and see.”
I shake my head. “I can taste her death on my lips already.”
Shane cries as hard as Giselle and I do. None of us are prepared for this moment.
How do you prepare for someone to die when they are not sick and the thing that is killing them is something you will have to love?
Lorelei appears, pausing in the doorway, confused and seeming as if she might turn and run. She is counting heads. “Is someone hurt?”
“Alise is about to give birth to Blake’s baby and Ari is pregnant.”
Lorelei’s eyes lower. “Oh.” At least her response is sane. I feel like almost everyone else is all about giving the babies a chance. But Lorelei’s face is constipated with fear and panic that she cannot release. “Congratulations, Ari.” Lorelei’s eyes meet mine. “You and Lucas must be thrilled.”
“I am.” The group sob fest is clearly making Ari uncomfortable. She gets up and grabs some food from the cupboards, not looking back at us.
But I watch her constantly. I see the fear in her face. The fear she lies to herself and all of us about. Giselle gets up, giving me some space so I can get up too.
Shane turns my way, his face still completely stricken with the proper amount of fear a moment such as this one calls for. “Are you going back?”
I nod. “I’ll stay until the baby is born. I need to be there in case it goes the way I have to assume it will.”
Ari’s back stiffens but her eyes do not meet mine.
Giselle gives me a hopeful look. “Can I come?”
I nod. “Shane, you too?”
He shrugs. “If it’s all right.”
“I think Blake could use all the help he can get. He’s terrified and she’s ecstatic.”
Ari walks out of the kitchen, visibly pissed. I can’t help how I feel anymore than she can help being pregnant. It’s a shitty situation for us all.
We wink back to the woods outside the lodge. “Come and ring the doorbell in like two minutes.” I wink to the room I am meant to be napping in, leaving Shane and Giselle in the woods.
I walk out, having no idea how long it has been since I went for my nap. Blake rolls his eyes. “It’s been like fifteen minutes and you look worse.”
I pull my middle finger from my pocket. “I brought you something.”
He feigns delight. “You shouldn't have.”
“Shane and Giselle are here too.”
He seems a little uncertain how to react to that. But there is a knock at the door before he can say anything. Alise is squealing and hugging. Blake cocks an eyebrow. “Really?”
“They want to be here.” I notice the puzzled look on my dad’s face, questioning me with his eyes. I nod discreetly. His eyebrows lift in surprise.
Blake turns and waves. “Hey, guys!”
Giselle comes in, hugging him, sobbing silently.
Alise scowls. “Why is everyone so sad? You guys need to mellow out.”
Giselle wipes her face, nodding. “I’m happy, these are happy tears. I get to be an aunty and you’ll have fat and stretch marks before me.”
Alise rolls her eyes. “Like I have a stretch mark.” They saunter over to the great room, sitting on the massive leather sectional, the two of them giggling.
Shane marvels at the lodge. “Dude, how have they survived here so long?”
Blake sighs. “I spend most of my days bringing them stuff. I’ve kept them alive by winking food here, and water and supplies. I even found a baby store and brought her everything she will need. They never leave here. They garden off to the side in a massive greenhouse. It’s crazy, but basically being a survivalist fanatic my whole life, and a conspiracy theorist, has helped them.”
“And you have the ability to travel with a thought.”
Blake grins. “That has come in handy.” He glances at Alise with longing in his eyes. “I tell them it’s government rations. But it’s shit I steal from the dead and from old warehouses. I found a train once, filled with everything. It was headed to a small town. I brought them chickens and sheep. They raise them over in a barn. My dad and Aimee’s have become avid gardeners and farmers.”
“They run the genny every now and then when they need to,” I add.
Blake continues, “I still bring fuel when I can find it. They shower then. There’s a bunch of solar panels too for when they need to run things. I was even thinking about a windmill but the work that needs to go into it is insane.”
Shane whistles. “This is impressive.”
“I convinced my dad he needed a place off the grid when I knew shit was going downhill. He had the money to do it. They stocked food and water and batteries and everything. They still have shit downstairs that's stored.”
We look around at the massive lodge, admiring the effort and ability rich people have to survive, even the apocalypse.
When the humans all go to bed, the angels stay up, sitting in the chairs in the dark. We watch the sunrise in silent contemplation.
Chapter 16
The Christmas miracle
She goes into labor Christmas morning. There are no gifts. My dad instead asked us all to write one nice thing about each person in the room.
I am mid compliment to Giselle when Alise grabs her belly, heaving her breath.
My mom jumps up, leaning into Alise and talking her through the contraction.
I almost laugh at the date but I can’t.
Blake helps her to the room they have des
ignated the birthing room. She paces, sweating and crying and breathing heavily. It is in that moment I see my sister’s strength is so much more than I ever gave her credit for.
She is strong, and for the first time I see it. She bears down, groaning and breathing.
Blake stays with her the entire time, holding her hand and speaking calmly. I expected her to shout and cry and tell him what a bastard he is. I expected shallow behavior. But she is strong and quiet. She takes every moment drug-free, grunting and suffering. She doesn't complain or cry. The tears slip from her eyes when the pain gets bad, but she doesn't make a sound beyond the odd heaving breath or grunt.
My palms are sweating. My stomach is a mess. My entire body is on fire with fear and nerves. I can’t even imagine how Blake is coping, or my father, now that he knows the truth.
Shane and Giselle stay out in the main room with Blake’s parents and my father. But Blake, my mother, and I are all here with her.
“I need to push.” She squats, pressing like she is weight lifting. A vein pops in her neck, pulsating with her rapid heart. She finishes the squeeze with a moan. Within seconds she is pushing again. Blake kneels with her. I almost gag, realizing I could never have been a doctor.
But he could have. He doesn’t even notice when the water breaks. I heave, holding back every possible noise I could make.
“I feel the head, baby. Push again.” Blake’s voice gives me hope. Alise is still alert and strong. She doesn't look like she’ll drop dead any second. She looks like a warrior, and I have never had more respect for her. She digs her fingers into her thighs, bearing down with a scream. A little dark head pops between her legs. Blake’s face is sheer joy and bliss. “Her head’s out. Her head’s out. Stop pushing. Let me move her shoulders a little.”
Alise reaches down between her legs, crying when her fingers meet the dark-haired angel. The joy on her face brings tears to my eyes. My mother is sobbing, clutching her, muttering sweet encouragements to Alise.
“Okay, push one more time, baby,” Blake encourages excitedly.
Alise sniffles, takes a breath, and pushes with ferocity. She seethes a type of rage as she passes the whole baby between her lady parts. She comes out, slippery and tiny. She doesn’t look special. She doesn't look unique. She doesn't look any different than any other perfect baby girl. She’s pink and red and has some weird white stuff on her. She screams. Blake wraps her in a blanket, cleaning her off. He passes the baby to my mom and cuts the cord.
I turn my head away quickly, focusing on the tiny angel that has joined our family. Her black eyes focus on mine. I swear to God, she knows me. I reach for her as Blake puts Alise on the cot they have ready in here. She lies back, holding her trembling arms out. Mom puts the tiny baby on her chest. While the baby is screaming and shaking, Alise is laughing and smiling.
Alise is alive. I’m exhausted, regardless of having done nothing. My heart is racing and my mouth is sour and yet still dry.
I don't even know how to respond to the baby, beyond loving her. But I know how to respond to my sister still being alive. I join Blake at her side, crying and kissing her shoulders.
She is so beautiful and I swear to God she is a miracle.
We snuggle and cry and as the room fills with the other people, we all praise Alise on her job well done. The four grandparents are smitten, instantly. Blake acts as though he has never been more in love.
And Alise has never looked healthier or more vibrant.
We stay for two days, cooing and kissing and worshipping at her tiny feet. They call her Terra Grace, in hopes that she will bring grace and peace to the Earth.
Blake is forcing me out the door as I kiss her tiny little feet once more. “Aunty loves you!” I wave and walk out the front door.
Shane sighs a massive burst of relief at the steps as Blake closes the door on us. “Oh my God, that was intense.”
Giselle gives him a look. “We are never doing that.”
He agrees, “Never.”
We walk to the woods where our ‘helicopter’ is picking us up. We wink to Shane’s when we’re out of sight. Dorian’s eyes are massive. “WELL?”
“She’s fine. She never died. She never hemorrhaged. It was textbook.”
He sighs. Ari comes rushing to us, hugging me. “Was the baby cute?”
“Adorable. She’s got tons of dark hair and black eyes. I imagine she looks the way you did as a baby.”
Marcus nods. “That's the best news we’ve had in days.”
I step back. “Why? What’s happened?”
Dorian’s dark eyes are filled with something I would classify as not good. “Sam has an army.”
“What? He only became the—oh, Lillith. Of course. She’s been making this army since the dawn of time, right?”
Dorian scoffs. “Literally that long.”
“Shit.”
Ben rolls his eyes. “We’re screwed. This army is like us times a million.”
“Great.” Shane slumps into a chair. Giselle lands on top of him. “What can we do against it? Can we kill them?”
Dorian answers, “I imagine we can kill them but not before they ruin everything in the world.” He glances at me. “I’m glad your sister is okay, but we need Blake back.”
“I know. He’s coming tonight. The whole no cell phones thing is not working out so awesome.”
Oliver chuckles. “Even I miss my cell phone.”
Lorelei shakes her head. “We need to focus on the army. We need to cripple her and weaken them. Hellfire is a great way. I can cast it, so that's one thing in our favor.”
“She can cast it back and cripple the few of us that are on our side.”
Lorelei gives Shane a dirty look. “We might not die from hellfire.”
“We might be horribly injured for a time though.”
She retorts, “We heal.”
“Where is Sam?” I ask. Gwen and Shulster come strolling in as the sun sets behind us.
“He’s in Europe. Last time I saw him, he was in Spain. His army is in France.” Gwen yawns and mumbles.
The joy of my sister surviving the birth is diminished by the fact Lillith is so prepared and we are still bumbling our way through everything.
Chapter 17
Guard duty
His lips trail along my neck. I’ve given up swatting at him. He doesn't listen. Our lips meet in a crash. His tongue invades, caressing against mine as he tears a large portion of my shirt from me. I groan, “Dorian, there are like eight shirts left in the friggin’ world. Can you stop tearing them?”
He shakes his head, kissing along my neck. “No, love. I’ll learn to sew if I have to, just so I can tear them off.”
“You’re an idiot,” I mutter as I shiver from the cool breeze in the air. “But I would like to see you sew something.”
“Like you can sew.”
I cock my head, giving attitude, “I can totally sew.” It’s a lie and he knows it immediately.
He kisses me again but I push him back. “We’re on guard duty.”
He scoffs, turning his face toward the farmhouse in the mist. “That nonsense there is hardly worth guarding. And they haven’t moved in a week.”
“That you know of.”
“I can tell. Now lie back and let me show you how much I love you.”
A bitter laugh trickles from me. “Not after that line. You lie back and give yourself a hand.”
He winks us to a castle on a hilltop.
We wink suddenly to a garden with butterflies like I have never seen.
Then I get a flash of the Great Wall of China.
And finally, he takes me to an emerald lake that looks refreshing. It makes me want to swim. He winks us back to the hillside where we had been before. “Okay, I showed you some of my favorite places in the world. Now, take your pants off or they get ripped too.”
I roll my eyes. “A date involves dinner or a show.”
“You’re nearly naked, everyone else got a show.” He sighs, pou
ting in a way that makes me smile. He’s sexy, funny, and annoying simultaneously. He winks away, and I look back down at the estate with the men moving around constantly. He returns in a moment with Ben and Oliver. “They agreed to take our shift.”
I scowl, covering my chest, but am winked to the hillside where the emerald lake is. He tosses a bag of chips at me. “Been hiding these for a while.” He waggles his eyebrows at me. I can’t fight laughing, even if I wish I could. I toss the chips back at him. “You suck and I’m not a ‘have alone time in nature’ kind of girl. That deer is watching us.”
“Fine,” he groans and winks and we are in our bed at Shane’s. He places the chips under the bed quickly before lying next to me on his side and batting his long thick lashes at me. “So, what do you want to talk about?”
I snort, shoving him. “You are so weird.”
“I was raised in Heaven which I think can make a fella a bit off. God is a strict father—”
I lean in, kissing him and cutting off whatever other drivel he is about to yammer at me. The kiss is soft for a moment. It’s like a time-out. This is the one part of the world we can control.
His arms encompass me, dragging me closer. “You smell of smoke. When was the last time you took a proper bath?” He lingers in my neck.
We wink and land in a pool of freezing water. A scream rips from my mouth as the cold water hits everywhere, shocking me. “WHAT THE HELL, DORIAN?”
He dunks under the water, smirking his shitty, cocky evil grin. “My darling, we needed a shower and there is no plumbing anywhere.” He tosses soap at me. I catch it with a scowl.
He starts swimming around the pool toward the small waterfall at the far side of it.
I swim to the shore and wash everything—everything. And contemplate who I can possibly ever talk to about this moment. No one. No one can ever know. It will have to fester and rot inside me.
He swims to where I am. “You are the one girl I have waited thousands of years for. The one girl I never imagined in all my life I would find. And the one girl I would die for again tomorrow if I had to.” He shoots me one of his cheesy winks, completely ruining the speech.