by Tara Brown
“Or, Alise here could kill her momma after she claims her magic and go in her place.” Lorelei tries to say it like it’s a bit of good news.
“Jesus.” He pales. “She can’t do that either. It’s Alise. She’s all talk.”
“It’s one or the other.” I say it, sounding as defeated as I am.
“Of course it is.” He slumps back into the seat, holding his baby tighter to his chest and closing his eyes. “Can you ask your dad what we should do?” he mutters, not looking at me. “I don’t feel right making this decision.”
“Yeah.” I don't want to, but Blake’s right. My dad is probably the only one who can help us with this.
I wink to the greenhouse, sighing when I see him harvesting tomatoes. He’s so peaceful here, so blissfully unaware that the horrible conversation we had earlier is about to get much worse. “Dad.” I can’t force myself to say anything else.
“Aimes?” He speaks before he lifts his eyes to mine. The instant scowl when he sees my face suggests he’s no longer unaware. “What?”
“I have a dilemma.”
“And you want my opinion?” He sounds dubious.
“I do.” I pause and then let the worst words fall from my lips like a waterfall made of razors and broken glass.
I don't hear myself speaking, but I watch the words, each one burning into my father’s ears. His eyes widen, gloss over, narrow, and ultimately lower. “A witch?” He gulps and nods. “That makes some sense.” He leans against the bench next to him and contemplates for a moment. It seems like an eternity passes before he finally speaks, “She would want to save Alise. She wouldn't want to go there and leave her daughter to die.”
“You’ll be together.” I offer it up, some second-class version of an uplifting end.
“Together?”
“Heaven. It’s real. I’ve been. You’ll be together. You’ll remember each other and be happy. I promise.” Tears stream my cheeks. “You’ll remember us.”
His eyes tighten with stress and the finality of this conversation. “And you will be here with Blake. And Alise will be in the garden with Terra. And we will all be apart for eternity?” His grasp of the strange circumstances he finds himself in has become quite attuned. He’s liberal, and yet somehow prepared for bizarre and hopeless or occult and exotic.
“But none of us will be alone. Not entirely.”
“Then it’s the best we can do. The rest is in God’s hands.” My scientific father is a man I have spent a lifetime misunderstanding.
When I get back to the nursery Lorelei isn’t there. Blake’s eyes are red and watery.
“Lorelei thinks your mom might have been part of the Northeast covens. She’s going to need one of us to take your mom to Maine so she can claim her magic. Then we have dinner and Alise will do it when Lorelei puts your mom to sleep. She won’t even know it’s happening. It’s still a gentle death.”
“Okay.” I bite my lip, conflicted and yet certain of the right path. “My dad thinks my mom would want to save Alise so she could go to the garden with Terra.”
“Of course she would. Any parent would die for their kids.” More tears trickle down his cheeks as he stares at the softly sleeping baby.
“I’m so sorry, Blake. It’s so rushed, not at all how I imagined this playing out.”
“Me too, Aimes. Me too.”
I leave him to the quiet of his slumbering family and go find Lorelei.
She’s in the kitchen with my mother who’s motionless and staring at the wall. Lorelei’s hands move in the air and her lips mumble something faintly, something I can’t make out. “Can you take us to the North Atlantic, Rhode Island maybe?” she says after a moment. “After she claims the magic we’ll come back here. I’ll fix it so she can’t remember anything.”
“Yeah.” The pier is in my mind. I take my mother’s hand and then Lorelei’s. “Will she be different after this?”
“No. I’ll block her magic so she can’t feel a thing. It likely isn’t much magic, just an insignificant bloodline that’s receded over time.”
I wink us to the spot I’m imagining. It’s different now. The pier’s broken and rocking with the waves that seem rougher than last time I was here. The ocean’s higher maybe.
“That rocky point.” Lorelei lifts a finger to direct me to an outcropping of rocks. Smoke and ash and garbage are everywhere. My mother remains frozen, missing the sight of the disgusting place before us.
I wink again, stirring the smelly, heavy air. The stench and disease of the beach makes me sick to my stomach.
I don't know how to fix this world, just kill things. I hope the killing is enough.
Lorelei moves to the edge of the rocks. My mom copies everything she does. If she takes a step, Mom does too. If Lorelei lifts her hands, Mom mimics it.
They stand together, appearing opposite and yet the same, faces into the wind and hair blowing behind them. They hold hands as Mom says everything Lorelei says, casting into the windy sea breeze.
The clouds darken and the skies rumble. Lightning strikes the waves below us. Lorelei stands back, letting go of Mom who stays where she is, hands out and ready to receive. Lorelei glances back at me as my mom continues to chant. “Find me someone to sacrifice.”
“Sacrifice?”
“Ain’t nothing free, Aimee.” She winks and turns back to Mom.
I wink to a spot in the North, a village I found a couple of weeks ago. It’s remote and filled with people who don't speak English, but they understand it. The town hasn't changed, except to lose snow and ice since the heat started. The people are different than us, simple and quiet. They have nothing and appear to need very little.
I wink to a house where a woman and man sleep in one room and a small child in the other.
I’m the ghost in the darkness, the monster creeping in the shadows. It’s not the worst role I’ve ever played. I send the wife and child to Heaven with a gentle kiss. As the man rolls away from his wife’s dead body, I grab him and wink to the beach. He screams as he’s awakened by the worst feeling he’s had. It’s about to be trumped by something much worse.
He just doesn't know it.
He’s bent over and retching when my mom grabs him, stabbing a knife into his chest. Her eyes are filled with passion and yet completely blank.
His crimson blood runs down her hands and his chest as the waves get rougher and the seawater climbs the bank and rocks. The clear liquid is on a path, right for her. It slithers, shining silver like her eyes as it reaches her feet and slides up her legs.
The man falls from the cliff into the water below as the sea claims him and my mother. She tilts her head back, screaming into the swirling clouds as lightning strikes around us.
Lorelei turns toward me. “Y’all are some scary witches.” Her eyes are wide, scared.
“What do you mean?”
“Her coven was dark. I don’t know how much control I’ll have over it. This ain’t no insignificant bloodline, Aimes. This is something fierce.” The water falls away and my mother drops into a heap on the grass and rock. Lorelei casts a sleeping spell on her.
I wink us to the house, unsure what Lorelei meant by that. I place my mom into bed, wishing I could spend my last day with her differently.
“I don’t think we should wake her, not with the magic being evil and all.” Lorelei whispers, “Sam’s gonna sense this evil. He’s gonna locate her. We just brought him another ally. Maybe we should get her to the garden now. Sorry, Aimee.”
“Oh, come on! I can’t even with any of this anymore! Why can’t we just get a goddamned break?” I drop to my knees and hold my mother’s cold hand. She feels evil now. The smell of her is different. “So Alise won’t be able to take this magic?”
“She will. The garden will clean the sins of man off a witch. The garden and fae would have forgiven Lillith if she just asked. She could still be forgiven.”
“But the rest of us aren’t to be trusted?” I cock an eyebrow.
“
Let’s not get into the things that don't make a lick of sense in this world. Get Alise and the baby, now. Tell Blake to either send his parents off right away or bring them, unless he wants Sam to do it for him. Lord knows that would make Sam happier than a pig in shit.”
I hurry to the nursery, swallowing hard when I see him.
“Why do you always look like this when you come in the room?”
“Because bad news is raining down on us every day.”
“What is it this time?” He sighs.
“Alise has to claim the magic immediately and be on her way with Terra.”
“What! What about dinner?”
“No time. My mom’s magic is bad. She’s a bad witch now. Sam will sense her and want her to join his side.”
“For God’s sake!” He jumps up, waking the baby. He passes her to me, almost dumping her in my arms. I get lost for a moment in her eyes, wishing I could be there to see them change. I know they’ll be like Alise’s, liquid silver. They’re gray and dull now like mine, but she’s still so small. They’ll change nevertheless, like her. She’ll grow up in a magical garden filled with love and life, away from this hell.
I have to keep telling myself the only thing that matters is she’s going to live.
Chapter 3
Goodbye, my loves
My dad leans forward, losing his stomach on the sand. I rub his back, wishing I could say he’ll get used to it. But he won’t. He doesn’t have the time.
He won’t see me again after this moment.
He shudders and gives me a look. “The last supper turned out sort of opposite of my plans.”
“Sorry, Dad.”
Alise’s sobs fill the desert as she clutches Blake, trembling.
My mom is still, like a puppet waiting for Lorelei to make her move.
Dad stands upright and wraps himself around me, taking a deep inhale of my head as his grip speaks the words we don't. His fingers bite in, shaking and clinging.
“I’m sorry, Dad.” I say it again. I say it too much. I say it all the time.
But it’s the only truth I have. I’m always sorry.
“It’s okay, kiddo.” He hugs me and lies, “This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.” He pulls back, his stare fixed to mine. “You be strong. Be the strong, smart girl I know you are and you’ll find your way to us again.”
“Okay,” I lie. I can’t do any of that.
“You can’t make me do this.” Alise’s eyes turn to mine, filled with fury. I’m going to miss that look. “This is all your fault.”
“You have to save Terra.” Blake turns her around. “You have to save our daughter.” He’s sobbing as hard as she is, maybe harder, but he’s still Blake. He’s still rational.
“No. I don’t wanna leave you,” Alise cries harder, burying her face in his chest.
“It’s time. Before she draws a crowd with the shrieking.” Dad nods, patting me once more before taking Terra from Lorelei. He kisses the baby’s cheeks once more. “Grampy will be watching you. I promise that.” He lies again but this time he doesn't know it’s a lie, and I don't tell him.
I let him believe he’ll see us.
Blake hugs his parents who silently sob as well. He has to drag Alise with him because she won’t let go.
It’s weird for me to watch as his mom and dad are both so emotional. They’re detached and calm most of the time.
But the end of the line is the end of the line, and even they can’t buy their way out of this one.
Something shifts in the air. Something smells of incense and misdeeds.
“We have to hurry,” Lorelei shouts as the wind picks up.
“It’s so beautiful,” my mom whispers once, staring at the dusty desert. She sees something I don't.
I hug her, hating that this last embrace is wooden and stolen from us. She doesn’t even smell the same. “I love you, Mom.”
A single tear slips from her silver eye. It’s a response from deep inside her, one the magic can’t suppress.
“I love you, Dad.” I hug him again and kiss the baby once more.
Lorelei grabs Alise, dragging her to my mother and forcing a dagger into her hands. “Speak what I speak!” she shouts at Alise. It’s a spell being cast on Alise more than anything. Alise’s tears stop. Words flow from her mouth the same as Lorelei’s do, casting the spell. The dagger flashes and drives into my mother’s chest, making my father flinch. He squeezes his eyes shut and holds the baby in his arms as I hold him. We all tense at the same moment.
Mom exhales loudly, gazing back at my father. “See you there, my love.” She blinks and falls face-first into the sand.
He wheezes his exhale, continuing to hug me tightly.
Alise screams, lifting her face into the air, and flashes back to me. “You!” A sneer crosses her face, one I haven’t seen before. Evil Alise is beautiful and terrifying. “You did this!” Her hands rise but a bright light fills the sky behind her.
It blinds me until I hear his voice, “It’s time.”
I blink and see Henry reaching for the baby. My father kisses Terra and passes her to Blake. He jumps at his chance to hold his daughter once more. I don’t know what he whispers to her. I can’t imagine what it could be. What do you tell your infant daughter as you say goodbye, possibly forever?
Never has my chest burned the way it is when he hands her over to Henry. Alise is frozen, just as my mother was. When Blake kisses her and whispers, “I will see you again,” she misses it.
My father and I rush her, hugging and sobbing until there’s only the two of us in the embrace.
They’re there one minute and gone the next, leaving us on our knees, a puddle of pity and grief.
I lift my father’s face to mine, trembling and shaking my head. “I don't know if I will ever see you again, but I love you.”
“I know, kid. I love you too,” he manages to get out before I kiss his lips softly, taking away the life inside him. He’s tense and trembling one moment and then limp and falling the next. He lands close to my mom, as if reaching for her.
I have never understood or appreciated my parents’ love for each other. I think I took it for granted before this moment and now I will never see it again.
Blake’s a mess. He can’t send his parents. He can’t move. But the smell in the air is growing stronger. Sam is coming.
So I do it. I make my way to them, shaking and sobbing. “Goodbye, sir,” I whisper to his father.
“Take care of Blake,” his father speaks gently, not nearly as confused as he should be.
“I will,” I mutter as I place a soft kiss on his father’s mouth. He dies gently, just as Blake wanted.
His mother hugs me tightly. “Thank you, Aimee.” She doesn’t know what she’s saying. It’s my fault Blake is the way he is. It’s my fault things have turned out this way. I kiss her tenderly and let her go to Heaven to be with her husband.
The three of us stand, crippled by grief and a desperate sort of despair. The kind you don't recover from.
My loss is greater than any I have tasted before and it doesn’t even touch Blake’s.
But unlike the girl I once was, this grief and pain don’t turn to sadness. They become something I can’t describe, something awful and fearsome.
It’s rage and a need for vengeance.
It’s fuel.
It’s hate.
It scares me so I whisper the one thing I can think of that might help, “Dorian.”
He’s here, adding more incense to the fire, just in time. He doesn't speak. He grabs us all, winking us away as a dust storm of riders, something wicked and foreboding, arrives. In the last flash, I see Sam’s wicked smile.
And then I’m at Shane’s.
I collapse into a heap on the dry grass and cry.
There is nothing else to be done.
There are no words or actions to change anything that just happened. I cry with Dorian holding me and Blake falling on me.
For a moment
, I’m glad my dad can’t see me.
This isn’t the last thing I want him to experience.
Chapter 4
Backstabbing in Latin
“I’m sorry, dude.” Giselle offers her best attempt at feeling something. She hugs and closes her eyes. It’s real but too calm. If she were regular Giselle she’d be sobbing and having a diva fit. I miss that, a little. The dramatics would be justified. But we’re all closed off, just a bit. All of us but Blake. He’s a mess.
“At least Terra and Alise are safe,” I cite weakly, more for myself than anyone.
“I can’t believe they lasted as long as they did.” Dorian provides his smug take on things, “The world is a cesspool of manure, and yet Lorelei was still able to pop up tiny paradises here, there, and everywhere. We should get her to make us one on an island somewhere and just hide there.” He winks, joking. Maybe half joking.
“I think we need to start figuring out our plan to kill Sam.” I hate saying it aloud. I hate that Sam is the one. I hate everything. I want to pretend this journey isn’t weighing me down, but it is. The wet raincoat Blake spoke of is drowning me.
“It’s simple, dear Aimee. We find poor Sam and one of you kills him.” Marcus laughs, sounding slightly madder every day. “Then we all negotiate our own terms with the old man upstairs. I fancy a nice cozy retreat somewhere, to spend eternity.” His eyes dart to Lorelei who looks worse for wear these last months. “With her and none of the bloody rest of you.”
“Sounds perfect,” Dorian mumbles.
Oliver saunters into the kitchen, eating a chocolate bar. “What’s got you lot so down?”
“They sent their family to Heaven and the garden,” Giselle divulges plainly.
“Lucky. I wish I could go home. I certainly wouldn’t be sniveling over them being freed.” He sneers, mocking my pain. It has me off the barstool and winking behind him before I really think through my plan. I spin him, slap the candy out of his hand, and plant my lips on his.
The reaction is irrational. I realize it but I can’t stop.
“Thank you, Aimee—” He laughs once in my mouth before he falls to a pile of feathers on the ground.