by Tara Brown
“Keep giving me that look and we aren’t leaving.” He doesn’t meet my gaze when he says it, he just knows I’m watching him.
A smile slips across my lips and I wink before he can, before he can convince me to stay.
Winking away with a smile on my lips won’t ever happen again. I don't know that now but it’s the truth. Upon leaving that happy moment, everything turns upside down.
It starts when I get to the house and hurry into Ari’s room. Lucas is passed out on the bed next to her and Ben’s on the chair, watching them. The green-eyed witch isn’t there.
“Where’s Anna?”
Ben shrugs. “She and Lorelei left. She said the baby wasn’t coming yet.” He yawns and nods at the door. “You wanna keep watch?”
“No. I need to find Blake.”
He cringes at the mention of Blake’s name.
“What?” I almost don’t want to ask.
“He’s a mess. He’s in the woods out back. It’s cruel making him stay here with his family gone.”
“Where should he go? Should I accidentally kill him too? Who’ll be left to fight if everyone gets off easy and leaves us?” The question comes out harsh before I register being annoyed.
“I don’t know but there’s nothing easy about any of this, even for the ones who leave.” Ben stands, staring down on me. “Where can any of us go? It’s cruel that we’re all here, waiting to kill Sam so we can free the world from evil, but where are we gonna go, Aimes?” He asks it like this is my fault somehow.
“I don’t know, Ben!” I try to stand up taller but there’s no point. The guy’s a beast.
“Aimee?” Ari speaks softly, instantly lowering my rage level. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I grab Ben by the hand. “Nothing, go back to sleep.” I wink us to the grass and shove him lightly. “You woke her up.”
“You woke her up.” He tries to sound like he’s joking but he can’t. His voice cracks and he covers his face. “I don’t want this. I don’t want to be stuck here. I don’t want to be trapped for the rest of the world’s life, watching it all come back to life. Or even worse, die off slowly.”
I pull him into me, cradling his head and fighting my own tears. “I guess it makes sense Lorri waited until the very last second to make something like us.”
“Why us? Why not the Roses in Asia or Europe or Africa? Why us?” Ben lifts his face. His emerald eyes burn with hatred.
“I don’t know. I want to say she liked us the best, but this fate sort of suggests she didn’t.”
“We were the screw-ups I bet.” He nods. “I suspected that all along. I met the Roses in Japan; they were organized and calm and smart. Way smarter than us. They fought like a team, completely cool and disciplined.”
“Well, that explains it. The English Roses were refined and educated. They were savvy and intelligent. I never met the Africans, but I suspect we were the sweat hogs. The class clowns. The ones she didn’t attach to the same way she did the others.”
“You’re both wrong.” Lorelei walks from the backyard with Marcus behind her. “Lorri chose you for the most important role in the history of the world because y’all are the ones who cared the most. You honestly love one another with all your hearts. She never chose the English because we never clicked the way y’all did. We never opened up to each other. We also never had an Ari, messing with the time and forcing everyone to relive everything. I was the only one who relived her gifts.”
“What about the Asian Roses?” Ben asks.
“Too smart. Too detached from the humans they served. Same as us Europeans. I don’t know why she didn’t choose the Africans. I suspect it was something along those lines.” Her twang makes the word “Africans” sound funny. “She loved you the best—this group, the best.” She glances back at Marcus. “Except you. She never liked you much.”
“The feeling was mutual.” Marcus yawns.
“Have you seen Blake?” I change the subject.
“He’s in the forest, sitting on a stump, looking like his dog just died. I don’t know if he’s gonna rally, Aimes.” Lorelei lowers her voice.
“I know. I don’t know what to do about him.” I almost choke on the words as I speak them, “Ari asked me once to do something if anything ever happened to her, and I’m thinking maybe—” I purposely think aloud so she can catch my drift without me having to say the rest.
“Give me a minute,” Lorelei answers, reading my mind. Her level of comfort with the idea is spooky, but I can’t try to talk her out of it. He’s a mess. Of course he is. “You wanna come?”
“Yup.” I walk with her to the forest, the one I once entered while trying to catch a madman. A soft smile crosses my lips as I recall being sure Shane’s house was haunted. If I only knew then what I know now.
As we get into the woods, near where I hid as Mr. Mac hunted me down, I see Blake’s back. He’s shaking like a leaf in the wind, still attached to the tree but being pulled, coerced to leave it behind.
He doesn’t hear us, or ignores us. When we get to him his hands remain covering his face. Hesitantly, I lift my fingers to his back, brushing them along gently. “Hey.” I don’t know what else to say.
“Go away.” He isn’t cruel when he speaks, he’s done. He sounds defeated.
I glance back at Lorelei, removing my hand as she closes her eyes and whispers something. She touches his back with the tip of her finger and pauses.
His shaking and sobs stop. His entire body is motionless for a moment before he goes rigid and turns, blinking confusedly. His puffy red eyes contradict the blank stare in them. “Aimes? What’s going on?”
“Hey.” I try to sound casual, but I think it comes out as startled. “We just came to see if you’re hungry.”
“No.” He scoffs.
“Oh.” I am an idiot. Lorelei thinks it too. She gives me a look that confirms her thoughts on the matter. “Yeah, me either. I crave things sometimes. Like cereal and cold milk.” I wish I could stop talking.
“You okay, Aimes?” He cocks an eyebrow, answering the status of my mental stability with a frown.
“Yeah. I mean, I’m gonna go back to the house. You wanna come?”
“We were just about to discuss our plan for killing Sam.” Lorelei offers something plausible.
“Sure.” He gets up and turns, visibly muddled. “Why are we out here? I don't even remember coming here.”
“It was my idea,” I lie, badly.
“Why?”
“Uhhh, I wanted to show you and Lorelei where Mr. Mac tried to kill me that day. In that other life.” It’s officially the worst lie I’ve ever told. “It’s right there. That tree is where I hid.”
“Random.” He chuckles and stalks off, leading us out of the forest. Lorelei gives me a serious “what the hell” with her eyes.
I mouth “I don’t know” but offer nothing else.
When we get back to the house, everyone winces seeing Blake. Lorelei shakes her head, blowing something into the wind, making an indoor breeze.
Everyone’s eyes blank as they lose a section of their memories.
Only I remember my sister the way she actually was, the way she and Blake actually were.
Lorelei has removed Blake’s baby from everyone’s minds and altered what they recall of Alise. The hole in Blake is gone, filled in with mud. He and everyone else will recall her as the pain in the ass Alise was, but not that she and Blake ever dated.
“Aimee has something to tell everyone, about the plan.” Lorelei nods at me discreetly as we head into the kitchen.
The house feels full again, with kids, witches, vampires, angels, redeemers, and all eyes turn to me. I swallow hard, contemplating how to say everything without saying it all and without Lorelei reading my thoughts.
Her eyes narrow as I think about the things I’m keeping from her. I shake my head softly, hoping she understands I can’t tell her right now.
“When I went to see Lorri she told me that maybe we needed
the fae.” My gaze darts to Ben and then the green eyes of Anna. “The fae are part of this fight. I’ve noticed the garden wants all the magic back. It’s letting witches and fae through its gates, even if they are bad.”
“It’s building its strength again?” Marcus narrows his gaze.
“Yeah.” I nod as his eyes dart to Lorelei.
“Well, I don't think we should trust the fae. They’re shifty and they never care about the rest of us. It’s all for them. We need to worry about us.” Marcus sniffs.
“We can’t. I spoke to Henry. He knows about this, he knows they have to help us. They’ll do anything to return the magic Lillith stole. They want it back. Someone needs to kill Sam, take his magic, and bring it to the garden.”
Anna’s eyes widen. “I’ll do it.”
“Not you,” I warn. “I think it should be Lorelei. We trust her.”
Lorelei’s eyes widen too, but not in the good way. She sees this for what it is. She’s reading my thoughts and I’m letting them all out now. She’s too connected to me. She knows she has to be sacrificed to give the magic back, something Anna isn’t thinking about. “It should be me.” Lorelei gulps. “I have the strength of the Blackwater witches in me. I can control it.” She’s lying but I understand. I suspect she and I are the only ones who do.
“We need an army.” I press my lips together. “We need to fight the army Sam has. All of us will need to overpower Sam together. His combination of redeemer mixed with Lillith’s magic is too much for any one of us to defeat him. If we don't have an army to fight his minions, we’ll lose against him. The minions will distract us while Sam picks us off.”
“Agreed.” Lorelei stares at me, trying to tell me something, but I don't know what. “I’ll go back to the garden and ask for help. If we need an army, Henry has one. The wolves and some of the others should fight with us.”
“I think you should go back to Heaven and ask Lorri to ask God for help,” Marcus interrupts snidely. “There’s no way he can expect us to defeat a massive army, just the handful of us and whatever wolves Henry allows. There’s no counting on the fae.” He spat the word “fae.”
“Right, but there’s also no way she can get an audience with him. It doesn't work like that,” Dorian cut in, taking a step toward me. “Lorri’s good and his favorite, but she’s still just an angel. We can’t count on that. The fae army is a better bet.”
“Or you could go see Lorri, maybe use your leverage with her to get a meeting with God.” Marcus flashes his eyes at Dorian.
“I was just thinking the same thing, even if God won’t care to see me.” Dorian lifts a dark eyebrow.
“Maybe not, but you know him better than she does. She’s a scientist for God’s sake.” Marcus laughs, I think at me. It’s weird since he’s a scientist too.
“So are you, and yet here you are, live from a Grimm brothers’ story. A scientist with fangs and all.” He rolls his eyes.
“Wanna see them?” Marcus growls, not enjoying being mocked. He’s still not great at taking what he dishes.
“Please, let’s have a display of your prowess. You haven’t gotten off the couch except to snack in a year, and you cry every time you eat. Are you going to refill my slushy for me, Brother? Make me some nachos? Crack a beer? Your new skill set isn’t exactly terrifying!”
Marcus’ face flushes, hinting he might rage but he laughs, making me jump. I’m not the only one.
Dorian laughs too.
I’m lost.
“Anyway, I’ll go see Henry.” Lorelei sighs, not sounding excited about the trip. She grabs Dorian’s hand, doing the spell faster than she’s ever done it on me. “Go lie down and sleep. You’ll wake in Heaven.” She groans and saunters off with Gwen and Anna following her.
Dorian’s eyes don't meet mine. Mine are filled with the words “don't go,” but I don't utter them. I watch him walk from the room, leaving me on Earth again.
Chapter 7
Broken hearts
“Is he awake yet?” Marcus asks from the couch where he and Danny are still playing Assassin’s Creed.
“I don't know.” I turn and stroll into the sunroom, confused by the lack of Dorian. “He must be, but he isn’t here. He left—” I pause, seeing the clothes on the sofa. My throat tightens as I realize they’re the clothes Dorian wore when he went into the sleep. I rush forward but everything around me slows down. “DORIAN!” I shout, grabbing the clothes. The scent of him wafts into the air as I ruffle them, frantic to find him in there.
“Aimee?” Marcus rushes in, shoving me to the side. He lifts the clothes, throwing them back down. He turns, also panicked, searching the area for a naked Dorian. Our eyes bounce from walls and windows, but ultimately, we both turn back to the sofa.
I slump onto the pile of clothing, shaking my head. “He’s gone.”
“Impossible!” Marcus mutters, going to the window. “Lorelei!” he screams into the ceiling. She flashes into the room, doing her weird witchy traveling.
“What?” She gets it out before she discovers it—the answer floating in the air around us. “No!” She leaps forward, grabbing his clothes. Her eyes shoot upward and then close. “Oh shit!”
I close my eyes too as tears leak from them. “I never got to say goodbye.” He’s left me again. Only this time there’s no feather or fond memories to keep me company, just the image of his haunting eyes as he left the room to go to Heaven and see Lorri.
“He must have known,” Lorelei whispers. “He must have known and that was why he sounded so weird about it.” She speaks my thoughts aloud.
“People don’t vanish, Lorelei. He must be here somewhere. I bloody smell him here, in the air, don’t I?” Marcus barks.
I cover my face and breathe in the clothes, taking the last of the scent with me. It’ll be gone soon enough.
The thought brings back a memory. I get up quickly, hurrying to the kitchen with his shirt in hand. I grab a zippy bag and stuff the shirt inside, seal it up, and hold it tight.
Blake gapes at me from the jar of peanut butter he’s eating with a spoon.
I blink and flood my cheeks with lines of tears. I can’t explain my need to smell this like a serial killer. I can’t explain my broken heart. Blake’s is too, he just doesn’t know it.
With my bag in hand, I wink to Ari’s room to check on her. I can’t tell her, she’s too vulnerable. Lucas gives me a soft wave from where he lies on the bed next to her.
“How is she?”
“Same, weird. Feverish and twitchy and sleeping nonstop.”
“Is this normal for Nephilim?”
“I have no idea. It’s not normal for wolves.” He shrugs.
“Where’s Anna?”
“Lying down. She said she’s tired, this world drains her.” He rolls his eyes.
I would laugh, but I can’t. I can’t do anything but grip the bag and nod. “Okay.” I leave him there like that.
I wink to the Great Wall and the lake and all the places he showed me. I end my tour in London, at the Tower. I wink to the bedroom and lie back on the bed, the one we left ruffled.
Lying back, I clutch the bag to my chest and stare at the ceiling. The bed isn’t so comfy and it isn’t the sort of place I would normally sleep, but it reminds me of him. I unzip the bag and sniff, letting my nose dig into the zipper even more. I take large drinks of him, breathing him in. The desire to heave and sob is there, but I can’t. My numbness kills it. All I want is to cry and feel sorry for myself.
And I can’t.
“I was wondering if you would come back.” The voice is soothing for one heartbeat, before I pop open my eyes, lifting my gaze to see Sam in the doorway. “Where is he?”
“Who?” I should wink, I know that, but I don’t. I’m stuck stunned. Sam’s face is so altered, so evil. His eyes are cold and his smile is smug but in a way that rips my already broken heart.
“Don’t play games, Aimes. Dorian—where is he?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper back,
truthfully.
“He left you?”
“I guess so.” I hate that we are here in this moment.
“You going to wink away, little angel? Tell them all you saw me?”
I nod my response.
“Good. Tell them I’m waiting and I’m ready, whenever they are,” he beams.
“Can’t you fight her?” I ask the one question I've been curious about since this started.
“No.” He laughs and it’s a sound I've never heard before. This is not my Sam. “Why would I want to? I've got the better deal here, Aimes. You Roses are screwed. The darkness feeds me, brings me to life. I look out the window and see the beauty in the chaos.” He turns and glances out the old-fashioned window at the Tower grounds before us. “You see pain and death and char and it sucks the life out of you. I see art and payback and vengeance. Sweet vengeance.”
“But what about who you were?”
“I’m still me. We’ve been in the same room for five minutes and you’re not dead, are you? Some part of me wants to kill you, she wants me to. But I won’t. Not yet.” He grins wide. “I think once you understand where sh—I’m coming from, you might change sides. You might join me. You and Ari. Where is she? Is she all right? Has she had the baby yet?”
“Have you been doing drugs?” I mock him, like it’s regular old Sam and me.
“Yes!” He says it excitedly. “That's what I’m saying. This world is better. It’s ours. Screw humanity and God and the whole sin bullshit! We have freewill, use it! Do drugs, have sex, be fun. Fight the urge to be boring old Aimee.” He walks to me slowly, sitting on the end of the bed. “We’re stuck here. Forever. Why the hell should we live by his rules? He doesn't give a shit about us. He’s left us here. Lorri made us these ridiculous redeemers and then left, went home. And we can’t ever go home, Aimes. And why would we want to? It’s boring up there too. All that quiet time and perspective. Who needs it? Not me. Not you.” He sounds like a used car salesman; he’s clearly drunk the Kool-Aid. He leans in, reaching for me, pausing when I flinch. “You don't need this. You don't need to be this. You can choose whatever life you want.”