by PD Martin
I let my head fall back and look up at the sky, closing my eyes to protect them from the sun’s brightness. It feels good to tell John...tell him what really happened. Even though in some ways he knows more than we do, I doubt he would have understood the strange relationship between Banks and Wake. Wouldn’t have known that the little boy who tried to help him, tried to protect him, grew up into a monster himself.
A wave of nausea hits me, and I don’t fight the oncoming vision.
John’s in the room and Banks is doing up the buckle on his belt. Banks leaves the room and John’s crying. A teenage boy comes in.
‘Shut up, you stupid bastard.’ The boy hits John across the face.
Anger simmers across John’s features, but he pushes it down.
‘You’ve been here long enough, runt.’ The teenage boy moves forward and his hands close around John’s neck.
I wake up to Darren’s face blocking the sun. I’m lying on the grass at the foot of John’s grave.
‘Shit!’
‘What is it? Are you okay?’
I nod and give Darren my hand and he pulls me to standing. ‘Banks didn’t kill all those boys. Wake did.’
‘What? But he was only a child himself.’
‘A jealous child. One who could only remember perverted fatherly love and felt like the boys were competition. He wasn’t protecting the boys, keeping them safe. He killed them.’
Darren shakes his head. ‘So Banks wasn’t a sadistic paedophile?’
‘I didn’t see enough to know for sure, but I’d say the sadistic streak was in Wake, not Banks. Banks cared for those boys, in his sad, dangerous way, and Wake punished the boys for it.’
‘Can you prove it?’
I laugh, a bitter laugh. ‘No. But I finally know what happened to John all those years ago, and the man, the boy, who killed him is going to prison for life.’
Part of me almost feels sorry for Wake—almost. He was orphaned, and then picked up by a predator who twisted his notions of love. Twisted them so much that Wake killed the boys who were taking his father’s attention away from him. Who knows what Wake’s natural personality would have been like? But in terms of nature versus nurture, his environment sure did screw him up. I’ll let Wake know that I’ve discovered the truth, but I can’t take it any further than that. There’s no way to prove his involvement all those years ago. And no real point. I know, and that’s all that matters.
As we walk away from John’s grave I turn back for one final look. Part of me still feels angry—angry at Wake, at Banks, at myself for not somehow saving John. But at least now justice has been done, or is set on its proper course.
Curtis Baker is back with his family and doctors have given him the all-clear regarding brain damage and other physical injuries; the boy on the sofa has been identified as a runaway who went off the radar three years ago. He’d gone from living on the streets to living with Wake, though the streets were safer. Now he’s with a foster family, who will hopefully be able to help him overcome his past.
Darren takes my hand and gives it a squeeze and I squeeze back, taking what feels like the deepest breath of my life. It’s done. More tears flow down my cheeks, but this time they’re tears of relief. A couple of days ago I thought that if I let myself feel, really feel, the pain of John’s death, it would leave me with a wound from which I could never recover. I’d even questioned whether I’d be able to do my job—if I’d be me.
But now, even though part of me will always feel anger at the world for what happened to John, I also feel solace and justice.
‘We were lucky.’ Darren’s voice is soft.
I guess we were. Lucky we got to Curtis Baker in time, and lucky we finally found the killer.
‘Mum thinks that all the murdered boys, including John, helped us bring their attacker to justice. That it wasn’t luck at all.’
Darren smiles. ‘Maybe she’s right. What do you think?’
‘Me?’ I let out a sigh. ‘I don’t know what I believe.’ I look back at John’s grave. ‘But John’s killer is in jail and another generation of boys is safe. And that makes me feel really, really good.’
Table of Contents
Cover
International acclaim for PD Martin’s books
About the author
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Epilogue