Delusional Conduct

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Delusional Conduct Page 5

by J. L. Clayton


  I tripped over the root of a tree sticking out from the ground. I pictured it like a horror movie, the dead reaching up from a grave to grab me. I screamed, but the sound was muffled by the fall as I went tumbling down the hill. It felt like every branch was out to get me as I rolled end over end. I reached out with the intent to stop myself.

  Michelle opened her eyes. She was confident she wasn’t dreaming anymore, just deep in memory. Michelle worried that these memories could do some damage.

  What if I knew the truth all along and never wanted to stop that fall? Maybe I was the one who wanted to search, and all these years I allowed my mind to let me think it was Jen who wanted to go on the search. What if I could have stopped him before it was too late?

  Michelle was lost, reliving every detail, every emotion, every scream of that fateful day. It was strange how she was able to simply close her eyes and go back to that night—which possibly was the cause for how all her friends turned out the way they were. She could remember with absolute clarity every smell, every word spoken by both the adults and her friends. She could feel the warmth and humidity of the late summer sun beating down on them when the search began. It wasn’t what one would’ve considered a hot day for early September in Pennsylvania—just unusually warm with an almost eerie feel caused by the thickness of humidity from the recent rainstorms they’d had. The thickness in the air was another thing Michelle often thought about; how hard it was to catch her breath as if some invisible hands were wrapped around her throat trying to choke her. She’d wondered if anyone else had the same sensation, but she had never bothered to ask.

  It wasn’t like she enjoyed traveling back to that night. Now it was becoming a habit, when before she couldn’t even remember. It made Michelle wonder if somewhere deep inside she had enjoyed it. Trying to snap herself out of it, she walked into the kitchen to grab something to eat. It didn’t help. She lowered herself down onto her chair.

  Apparently, this damn memory wants me to finish it, she thought, feeling amused.

  Once again, she was lost in the vision. She always worried something was wrong with her. Being a traumatic event and because it happened at such young age, she should have blocked it out, if not entirely, at least partially. She knew this because she’d read many studies on the human mind; how the brain has a way of protecting itself from reliving such awful experiences, especially when they happen as a child.

  So why hadn’t her mind kept it blocked? After all, it was the day they all stared death in the face for the first time. Also, it wasn’t just any dead body. It was Jessica’s bloodied, beaten, broken, half-dressed body. Her sister’s best friend, Michelle, had literally been the one to slip in the mud and land on top of her.

  Michelle drew in a deep breath trying to escape the smothering air of the day she was reliving, but it didn’t work. She was still there, lying on top of Jen’s twelve-year-old sister.

  Jessica’s clothes were torn to shreds; her skirt appeared to be out of place, almost as if it was removed and then someone tried to put it back on. Her eyes were open, staring at Michelle, fear frozen on her face. Michelle stared back into those once happy, full of life, big blue eyes—now lifeless dead eyes. Michelle wondered what the last thing Jessica saw was. She wanted to know; she needed to know what those dead eyes saw last. The face of one of the sweetest girls; the girl, who never hesitated to sneak Michelle and Jen extra snacks before bed when she would sleep at their house.

  These were Jessica’s eyes, and the last time I saw them they were full of love and life; they were happy eyes. Jess had the kind of smile that took over her face, and just seeing her would make you grin. Her clothes were tousled like they’d been put on in a hurry. She was lying on her back, and her head was turned to the left, her once-blonde hair was now streaked with red and parts were clumped together. It still looked wet and sticky. Her left arm was bent in an odd position, and the palm of her hand was facing upward. There were deep lesions all over her body. Perhaps from a knife. Burn marks covered her inner thigh; some seemed to be from a cigarette while others appeared to be from a flame.

  Her left leg was bent as if she was relaxing it, and her knee was popped out, so the inner side of her leg was facing up, her left foot almost touching her right thigh just above the knee. She was missing her left shoe. Symbols were carved into the inside of her thigh. One resembled the letter C; only the top had a small circle. About a quarter of the way down was a horizontal straight line, and roughly a quarter of the way up from the bottom was a vertical line which looked identical to a capital T but had a shorter line across halfway down. The second symbol appeared to be two crescent moons facing each other; the one on the left was double the size. Connecting the two shapes was a straight horizontal line, dead center of the two moon shapes with another vertical line in the center. Only on this smaller line sat a circle at the top and bottom.

  Jess’s right arm was stretched out to the side, the tips of her long, skinny fingers in the creek, the water rushing over them made her entire hand move as if she was waving goodbye.

  Her right leg was also bent in an odd position, this time her outer thigh and calf were showing. More of the same wounds, symbols, and burn marks were there also, only she still had her shoe on. It was also touching the edge of the creek. White sneakers. She had been wearing her brand new white sneakers she was so happy to have gotten. I remember her going on and on about how she wasn’t going to get them dirty just a few short days earlier. Now all I can remember thinking when I saw that one shoe was, “Well, that didn’t last.” It was also stained blood red. Even the bit of water running over it couldn’t have washed away all of the blood.

  Her body was bruised and beaten; these are things I never thought to truly pay attention to until now. The bruising was new, fresh, not fully formed yet—which meant only one thing. She hadn’t been dead long. Other noticeable things were the red marks showing she had been bound and from the severity, probably the whole three days she was missing. She’d been tortured, but one thing was clear, Jess fought. And she’d fought hard for her life. If only the cops would have taken Jen’s mom seriously, Jessica may still be alive today.

  I yelled for help as loud as my little lungs would allow me. It seemed like only seconds passed before Mr. Penciotti was at my side, asking if I was okay, trying to get my attention which was now back on Jessica’s wide open, dead eyes. It seemed as though she was looking into my soul, almost blaming me for this.

  I thought back. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I did lead him to her. But what did I know when I was only seven? Apparently, I didn’t know too much, or at least I knew a lot less than I do now.

  The rest of that day and the next several were as any would expect. Lots of tears, the state police were finally brought in, residents were questioned, our peaceful little town turned into a media circus.

  Michelle shook her head. She recognized the symbols carved into Jess. The symbols carved on Jessica’s body, Michelle knew the C-shaped one stood for the demon MEEOD also known as “the life restorer.” The moon shape symbol stood for STYGAL, “brings death.” The symbols were their signals of summoning. She also knew of many other symbols and what they stood for. She only remembered them now. She initially found them stashed away when she was very young, and that many are painted inside the burnt part of the asylum. For as much as she begs Jen not to go there, Michelle sure did go a lot, especially recently. Although, most of the time she would wake up and just be there with no memory of how she got there. She summed it up to sleep walking and the upcoming anniversary of Jessica’s death, but she knew that wasn’t true. She also knew more and more new symbols were showing up on the walls that were still standing.

  The new symbols were indicative of one thing: Jens fears were confirmed, he was back. Of course, Michelle knew this for sure, now that he was in her yard talking to her only hours earlier. But how long had he been back? What the hell was he doing taking such a chance? And what was up with all the riddles he was giving her? Was t
here still a chunk of Michelle’s memory missing?

  What am I not seeing, what could be so bad that my mind won’t let me remember? She thought to herself while unconsciously rubbing the scars running up her right forearm and right ankle from the burns she had gotten seven years ago. Jeremy had burns resembling hers; neither could remember how they’d gotten them. The only thing they knew was they were together when they’d been burned. It had happened the same night as the fire; the most common assumption was they had been near the asylum when it’d burned.

  Arson. They said the fire was started by someone on the outside. It was ruled arson, but no one was ever charged. Michelle tried to shake the new eerie feeling crawling up her skin and slowly consuming her mind. There was no way in hell that she and Jeremy had anything to do with the fire.

  Chapter Eleven

  Michelle

  “No, it’s too early, I don’t want to get up,” moaned Michelle. She slammed her hand down on the button of her alarm clock.

  Fuck back to reality. Today is the big fucking day, she thought. Michelle contemplated whether or not to tell her friends about her brother and the fact that he was him. Michelle did need help in solving his riddle, but could she trust anyone to keep her secret? That is if she chose to keep it a secret. Strangely enough, she felt Jeremy may be the one she could trust. All his joking and playing aside, he had always been there when she needed him, and if her memories from hours earlier were any clue, he just might be the only one with the answers she needed—at least about why they were both burned on the same night as the fire. Maybe he remembered more than her conscious self would allow.

  Michelle glanced at her answering machine and saw the number twelve flashing.

  Shit, good thing this line only rings on my floor, she thought as she reached for her cell phone. She had eight missed calls, four from Jen, two from Jeremy, one from Becky, and the last from Steve.

  “Goddess of the earth, can’t a bitch be late for school one day without being harassed by every friend she has?” Michelle questioned. A hint of irritation laced her voice. Slowly she began getting ready. That’s when she remembered they were probably all set to make the big plans on how to get back at Brody and his brat pack. They probably wanted to let her know their brilliant idea.

  “Ugh, today is going to be one major shit storm.”

  Pulling her blue hair back into a sloppy ponytail, she threw on her favorite pair of ripped baggy jeans and a Rancid T-shirt, slipped her tiny feet into her comfy vans, and rushed into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She did one last look-over of herself, shrugging after she realized that you couldn’t fix the look of death. She looked for her parents, but she noticed they weren’t home. With a shrug, Michelle grabbed her lists and headed out the door for school.

  Living in such a small town had its perks, like the usually fast walk to school. Especially taking the shortcut, which she intentionally chose to do today. By the time she made it to school, it felt like she had been walking for hours; except, she arrived exactly five minutes before lunch. Just as planned. But as she approached the front of the school, she heard whistling. Her heart started to pound in her chest. Michelle stopped dead in her tracks. Slowly she turned her head, gazing over her shoulder, trying to spot signs of any movement, all the while wondering why he was following her.

  “Where?” She called out in a hushed tone. But only silence followed that question. “I know it’s you, Matt. So, where are you?” She had her cell up to her ear in case anyone saw her. A whistle came from behind her. Michelle took one last look up at the school before turning around and crossing the street into a small area of thick trees.

  “Matt, I know you are here,” Michelle said, wringing her hands together.

  “Hey, Shelley bear.” Matt stepped out from behind a tree.

  “Tell me one thing.” Michelle’s voice shook. She was afraid of him. But she had to know. “Did you kill Jessica?”

  “Yes,” Matt said. He looked down.

  Tears filled Michelle’s eyes. She shook her head back and forth. “No. No. No.” She begged her whole trembling body. “Why?” she croaked out.

  “I will tell you, but you have to trust me. You do trust me, right Shell?” Matt asked holding out his hand for her to take.

  Michelle hesitated, afraid of what he was capable of. After an inner debate, knowing she needed answers, Michelle stuttered, “I trust you,” as she took his hand and followed Matt into the woods.

  ***

  Michelle was stumbling through the school; her mind was in a daze.

  I can’t do this; I can’t tell them. I can’t tell my friends. My parents hid evidence. If they had opened their fucking mouths, none of this would have happened. My brother might have been caught. Jessica may still be alive. They could have prevented him from holding her hostage for three days. Oh! My! God! He slowly tortured her! He believed she needed to be cleansed? All because she smiled and said hi to him. I think I’m gonna be sick.

  The thoughts were filling Michelle’s mind way too fast. They were entering and evaporating before she could fully wrap her head around the last one. She didn’t realize she was muttering. “Yeah, no way in hell am telling anyone what Matt just said. At least not until I talk to my parents first.”

  “Talk to your parents about what?” Jeremy asked.

  “Holy fucking cow, Jer. What the hell man, didn’t your mama teach you it’s not nice to sneak up on a lady?” Michelle said as she playfully punched him in the arm in hopes it would make him forget what he just heard.

  “Yep, she sure did, but I don’t see any lady around here,” he shot back.

  “Where is everyone?” Michelle asked.

  Jeremy filled her in how he had come up with a plan that everyone agreed was good but didn’t want to discuss in public—how they actually were all getting their things so they could head to their spot in the woods to discuss it in further detail. Michelle briefly wondered why Jen didn’t just tell her to meet them there instead but summed it up to a slip of the mind. That is until she saw the look of shock on Jen’s face when she saw Michelle standing with Jeremy.

  What the fuck did I do? Wondered Michelle as the group headed off to Middle Earth.

  Chapter Twelve

  Michelle

  The whole way to their spot, Jeremy was like a kid in a candy store, practically skipping the entire way and rushing everyone along. Jen was quiet, too quiet for Michelle’s taste. But then again, she was twirling her nose ring and twisting her hair, so Michelle just told herself it was nerves. Finally, at their spot, Michelle nearly laughed. She knew by the way he was bouncing on the balls of his feet that Jeremy couldn’t hide his excitement any longer. In fact, he didn’t even wait until everyone was sitting before he started filling Michelle in on what she had missed.

  “So, this is what we decided on,” he said with a tone of enthusiasm that made his typically rough, gravelly voice sound like he was going through puberty.

  “You,” Becky cut in, “decided on a plan that Steve and I wanted to wait on and plot out with actual details before it was agreed upon.” Her sweet voice held an uncertainty to it. “But since you weren’t at school this morning, there was no tie-breaking vote,” she said, looking toward Michelle with a genuine plea in her big doe eyes.

  “Okay.” Michelle shrugged. “Well I’m here now, and I’m guessing that Jen and Jeremy are all for getting this done faster than the speed of light. But it seems you and Steve want to make sure everything is planned out just right. Is it, so we don’t get in trouble?” Michelle questioned the group while never taking her eyes off of Jen.

  Out of nowhere and with such intensity in her voice, Jen practically screamed at Michelle. “Yeah, we get it! Everyone thinks you’re the only one with the brains to pull something like this off—but you’re not, you know?! Fuck. I could do this on my own if I wanted.”

  “Damn girl, calm down,” Jeremy interjected. “Why are you screaming at your best friend?” He chuckled, but it sounded uncomf
ortable. “She has always had your back no matter what, more so than anyone else in this shit town. So just please calm down and let’s tell her the plan.”

  Jen huffed out a simple sigh that resembled an “okay.”

  All kinds of confused, and slightly embarrassed, Michelle said, “What ya got planned out?”

  Jeremy was back to his kid-in-a-candy-shop excitement as he went over the scheme. They wanted to lure the newbies into the abandoned asylum. The place had always been the talk of the town long before the arrival of the new, wealthy families and their bratty kids, and long before they closed it four years ago. Also, before the fire seven years ago. They figured they’d use a party as the bait. If that didn’t work, they would taunt them and call them out for being too scared to have fun in a place that is supposed to be haunted.

  Since they had explored every inch of that 113-year-old building and knew all of the hidden passages, the plan was simple. Jen, Becky, and Michelle would invite Brody, Kevin, and Lance. Brody being the primary target, given he was the one who raped Tina. Jer and Steve would use their panty-melting smiles to invite the cheerleaders Becky had caught messing with the girl in the locker room. Eventually, Steve and Jeremy would disappear into one of the many hidden rooms or passages to set up the lighting and sound effects, and Steve would be put in charge of rigging.

  They would already have camcorders in place to record the brat-pack pissing themselves. The plan sounded simple enough and was not nearly as devastating as Michelle though it was going to be, or maybe it wasn’t as cruel as she hoped it would be.

 

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