I can feel a pair of eyes drilling into me but I don’t turn around.
I’m starting to question my own sanity when I agree to wake up at five a.m. the next morning to help the team perform some post-win ritual. Apparently, this is the real reason everyone cared about yesterday’s game: it’s the only rival close enough to drive to.
No one would tell me exactly what we’re going to be doing, but I had a strict order to be out the door by five fifteen.
I’m putting my shoes on when one sharp honk comes from outside.
I shove my feet into the pair of sneakers and grab my house keys from the table. I slip out so Becca doesn’t honk again and lock the door. Turning around, I freeze.
Instead of Mrs. Winthrop’s SUV, there’s a large, black, luxury one parked against the curb.
You’ve got to be kidding.
My feet move slowly down the steps. By the time I make it down to the curb, the rear window rolls down and I see a blonde, brunette, and a redhead in the back seats.
“My mom needed her car today, so Luke offered to drive.”
Daisy’s smile is wide on her face. I can’t tell if she’s lying or not.
I stare at Lily, who seems completely relaxed in the spacious middle seat. I’m hoping my eyes tell her everything I don’t want to say out loud. And when she responds, I know she got my message and completely ignored it.
“You can take the front seat.”
She reaches over Daisy and rolls up the window.
I sigh, my breath fogging up the tinted glass.
When I open the passenger side door, I sigh again.
Luke’s seated in the driver’s seat of the car, one hand on the steering wheel, the other lying on the center console, palm up. A smile on his face.
I can’t tell if it’s genuine.
“Good morning,” he says gruffly.
His hair is disheveled, like he’s just rolled out of bed. I wouldn’t be surprised if Lily forced him to drive rather than it being a kind offer.
I climb into the passenger seat, shut the door firmly behind me, and cross my arms over my chest.
From the corner of my eye, I see Luke look down at his open hand and back to me.
I sink further into the leather.
Taking the message, he puts both hands on the steering wheel and pulls the quiet car onto the road.
Something clanks in the trunk.
“Uh, what exactly are we doing?” I ask. “It’s not illegal, is it?”
“Nah, just some payback.”
I look into the backseat from the rearview mirror.
“Why? We won the game.”
Becca shrugs.
“It’s just what we do.”
“When they win, we all wake up to our houses littered with flowers for the Greenfield Wasps.”
“Where are Freddie and Tyler?”
Luke’s hands flex on the steering wheel.
“The guys drove up together. It’s a team bonding thing.”
“Boys,” my friends say in unison.
Lily leans forward in her seat, looking up at Luke.
“Tell me about it. I don’t know how many times my father took Luke out and left me behind.”
Luke looks at his sister through the mirror.
“I think you’re mistaken.”
“Yeah?” Lily snorts. “When was the last time the three of us spent any real time together?”
The muscle in Luke’s jaw twitches.
“Not in a long time.”
“Maybe that’s what we need to do,” she continues. “Have some family bonding.”
“I don’t think so, Lily.”
“But—”
“Drop it,” he snaps. “Not now.”
I catch Daisy’s eyes in the mirror, both of our expressions similar. Like neither of us want to even risk breathing in case it stops the siblings from revealing more about their family history without us even having to ask.
“I’m just saying,” Lily continues. “Running away isn’t the answer.”
Becca laughs, breaking up the tension between them.
“You ran away from where? Your country club in Connecticut?”
I tense, glance over at Luke.
Much to my surprise, Luke’s response is calm and even.
“You ran away the first time your father hit you, didn’t you, Rebecca?”
The entire cabin grows silent.
My mouth opens for a silent gasp and I’m afraid to look back at her.
Luke’s finger taps against the steering wheel in beat with the music, his eyes glued to the road. Completely oblivious to what I’d imagine is a bomb getting ready to detonate in the back seat.
“Becca…”
She laughs, the sound echoing through the car. Slaps her knee.
“You’re damn right I did. Son of a bitch slapped me across the face when I was eight years old for spilling juice on the carpet.”
“And did you go back?”
“Sure did. It was cold as Hell that night.”
“That the real reason?”
Becca is quiet at first, none of us daring to speak.
“My momma wasn’t ready to leave him yet.”
Luke nods thoughtfully.
“Not even a fancy country club could have kept you away from her, right? From going back home to your mother?”
“That’s right.”
Luke meets his sister’s eyes through the rearview mirror.
“We all have something we’ll go back to Hell for.”
A dainty hand reaches forward from the backseat, rests on Luke’s shoulder and squeezes as tight as she can. Lily has no witty remark. But when Luke takes his hand off of the wheel and returns the gesture, she sighs.
He pats her hand, and she sits back in her seat.
My hand is shaking when I reach over the console and place my hand on his knee. Just momentarily, on top of his dark blue jeans. I don’t squeeze and I don’t keep it there.
But when a shudder runs through his body, it flows directly into me.
I blame the cold.
Daisy tells me the heater’s on.
And I have to laugh.
Twenty minutes later, we pull up to a high school parking lot. There’s a long row of cars parked in a line, all of the trunks open and facing outwards. Luke pulls into the slot on the end and pops open the trunk.
We all climb out of the truck.
Freddie’s arms are already open and Becca skips over, taking her place by his side.
Most of the people who showed up are the soccer players and their girlfriends. People who have direct contact with the rival team and the willingness to wake up at five in the morning to go out and vandalize some property. The Hales and I stand off to the side while Tyler gathers the group for an announcement.
A figure gets out of the car at the end of the line, and an overwhelming wave of irritation comes over me.
Sasha Warren steps out of the sedan and walks to the center of the group. The puffball on top of her knit beanie bounces with every step. Her tight jeans and fitted sweater leave no room for imagination.
My equilibrium shakes and I find myself rocking backward. An arm wraps around my waist, steadying me before pulling away.
“You’re okay,” he says.
Not a question, a fact.
At the same time, Sasha looks over at Luke and gives a small wave before cuddling up to one of the other seniors.
Luke revealed a dark secret about her life, yet she’s still interested in him. She has no shame.
Tyler looks over at me and waves us over. He winks when I approach but turns away when Luke and Lily stand on both sides of me.
Luke and Lily follow me to the group.
“Okay, I got the addresses of all the players. There are fifteen houses to hit, and there are over thirty of us. If we split into pairs and carpool, we should be able to get out of here asap.”
“You’re telling me that we came all the way over here for one house?” Lily mut
ters.
I shrug, having no idea what’s going on myself.
Tyler takes the first paper and passes the pile to the next person, so on and so forth.
Lily takes two, passing one back to her brother, and then onto the next.
“Sorry, but I’ve decided to venture out without you.”
Luke doesn’t seem to care in the slightest about his sister.
“Looks like it’s me and you,” he says.
I sigh, hold my hand out to see the paper.
There’s a single address on it. A simple map and an area circled.
“This is a farming town, so once we split up we probably won’t see each other again. All of the cars should have plenty of stakes in them. If there are more people in your car than stakes, grab some from another car and then move out.”
With Halloween just a few weeks away, it might look like decorations. At least, that’s what I’m hoping.
Everyone splits up into their pairs, the girlfriends joining their boyfriends and getting into whatever car has available seats.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a ball of fluff heading our way. My teeth grind at the inevitable.
Sasha pops up with an enormous smile on her face. She reaches out and grabs Luke’s bicep.
“Can I join you guys?”
Luke opens his mouth to deny the request but Lily interrupts.
“Absolutely. I could use a partner.”
Sasha looks down at Lily and then she shrugs, points to the SUV.
“This you?”
Neither of us respond.
A player comes over to take some of the stakes from the back of Luke’s car before shutting the hatch.
“Nice car, man.”
Luke nods in thanks.
When everyone else is loaded into their cars, Luke walks over to the passenger side door and opens it. To make his intention obvious, he calls out my name and motions for me to get into the car.
Sasha purses her lips but gets into the backseat with Lily.
Once in, the siblings compare their locations, which happen to be in the same area.
The cars pull out of the high school parking lot and go their separate ways.
This town reminds me of where I grew up. Most of the houses are far enough away from each other that there’s no such thing as a nosey neighbor. The vast areas separating the houses are fields. It being the beginning of fall, the grounds have been cultivated.
According to the GPS in Luke’s car, we’re nearing the house on Lily’s list. He’s able to pull up right in front of the house, located in the front of the property rather than behind the fields. Sasha leans forward and places her hands on both of Luke’s shoulders.
“Ready?”
He unlocks the doors.
“Let’s go, Warren,” Lily says and opens the car door.
“But—”
“Don’t worry, I’m much more fun than my brother anyways.”
In the mirror, I see Sasha roll her eyes but exit the vehicle.
I ignore her and check the map for the next location. Turns out our house is just up the road.
“Let’s just walk,” I say.
Luke looks at the map and nods, cuts off the car.
He pops open the trunk and we join Sasha and Lily at the back. Lily is carrying a large handful of what are supposed to be pitchforks. Someone went out of their way to buy a bunch of small pitchforks and spray paint them red. There’s about fifteen to twenty per house. I have no idea where the boys got these or who cut the ends down to a point. But I’ve learned not to ask when it comes to Diablo traditions.
Luke takes all of them so I don’t have to carry any.
He shuts the hatch when we’re all settled.
“Meet back at the car when you’re done,” Luke tells his sister.
“Thanks for the ride—”
Sasha’s voice fades out when Luke walks away from her. I don’t bother to hide my smile as I follow him down the road.
Unlike the houses near fields, ours is located further into the forest. There’s a mailbox indicating the location of the driveway.
“Should we just drive?” I ask him when we have to take high steps to avoid dragging through the dirt.
“We’re okay.”
Luke shows no sign of discomfort carrying the large number of pitchforks underneath his arms. He even matches his pace to mine so we’re side by side. He stands so close I can practically feel every moving muscle.
He doesn’t try to speak to me, and I certainly don’t want to encourage it.
But the trees are quiet in the early morning. Too quiet. Not even the rustles of creatures is audible over my breathing. If it weren’t for the path, I’d have no idea where we’re going.
Even the foliage is different than the forest surrounding Diablo. Though we’re well on our way into fall, the myriad of vibrant colors on Diablo’s trees are magical. They put the trees here to shame.
With God as my only witness, I speak.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why are you showing interest in me?”
Luke actually laughs at me.
“What?” he asks lightly. “Fishing for compliments?”
“No, your sister already told me that I’m your type,” I say lamely. “I mean why all of a sudden?”
“Type? And what would that be?”
“You prefer brunettes.”
Luke snorts.
“Your hair is the last of my concerns, I assure you.”
“Well, if it isn’t my hair…then what?” I look over at him, meeting his eyes. “Why are you so interested now?”
“Am I not allowed to be interested in you?”
He’s deflecting again.
I stop, turn around in the tall grass to face him.
“Not after everything you’ve done to me.”
His Adam’s apple bobs.
“And what’s that?” he asks tightly.
I swallow, will my voice to be emotionless. And the worst thing comes out of my mouth.
“You were mean to me.”
Luke drops the stakes, the loud clank of metal hitting the ground echoing through the trees.
“Did I hurt your feelings?”
“Yes.”
“I thought you’d have thicker skin,” he says, mostly to himself.
“My skin’s thick enough,” I snap. “But that doesn’t give you the right to poke at it. You don’t have any right to me.”
Luke crosses his arms over his chest, somehow growing even taller. I hate it, but I have to tilt my neck up to meet his gaze.
“That’s not what you said the other night,” he says hotly. “When you were straddling me in my car? When your nails were scratching at my scalp. Your tongue—”
“Stop,” I say. Point a finger at his chest. “I told you not to bring it up again.”
“Why not?” he asks. “Why won’t you let me tell you what I was going to say?”
Because I’m afraid it’ll wreck me.
Make me do something I’ll regret. Make me feel something I’m not sure I’m ready for.
“Because I don’t care.”
He steps over the pile at his feet. I retreat, never breaking my gaze.
“Why not?” he repeats.
“Because I just don’t.” I put my hands out behind me, making sure I don’t run into anything. “I already told you I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”
Luke doesn’t stop pursuing me until I’m backed up against a nearby tree.
He cages me in, both hands against the trunk. Leans down so close that I can feel his warm breath on my face.
“Why are you afraid?”
I pause. Jerk back.
“I’m not.”
Luke’s eyes seem to swirl, absolutely mesmerizing.
“I think you are.”
“What do I have to be afraid of?” I ask, knowing the answer. Everything. I still know nothing about the world and how she runs.
“You don’t want to accept that dark part of your mind.” He taps my temple. “The part that dreams of murdering her grandmother. And you know what I think, Calla?”
I shiver when my name comes out of his mouth, a warm caress over my cheek.
Luke leans down, his lips touching the shell of my ear.
“I think I push you outside of the comfortable little bubble you placed yourself in. And you don’t like how good that feels. How good you feel around me. How good I make you feel. But Calla—”
He takes my chin between his fingers, tilting my face up so I’m looking directly into his eyes.
“I’m the last person you should be afraid of.”
His voice is raw. Smooth yet unstable.
“All I want to do is make you happy this time,” he says softly, his voice so desperate I want to believe it too.
This time?
His lips are centimeters away from mine now.
I try not to breathe, knowing the small movement would touch my lips to his.
“But you don’t even know me.”
He sighs, licks his lips, his tongue accidentally touching my bottom lip before he straightens.
“I know you more than you think.”
I pant softly, my chest rapidly rising and falling.
It’s a lot to take. Too much to take in.
I’m nothing. Why would he place such trust in me? Be willing to let me into his life when just weeks ago, he wouldn’t even let anyone scratch the surface.
And I’m not sure I want to return the gesture. Even if he seems to know me more than I know myself. Even though he’s seen me at my worst but made sure I walked out of that police station with my head held high and a promise that he’d take care of everything.
And he came through.
Admittedly, I’m afraid his assessment of me is right.
But he lied to me. Made me feel like I was the crazy one for putting pressure on him to return my attraction. And then he kicked me out of his car after sharing the best kiss of my life. The only kiss, but one I’ll remember forever.
I need to think. Think a lot. And think far away from him. Somewhere I can confidently name all of the Archangels, because right now all I can picture is Luke touching me and it’s quite distracting.
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