“Dominic Marianna,” they all said at the same time.
“See? They get it,” Emma stated.
“It’s not happening. I’m sleeping in my bed, in my Gaytopia, and that’s that.”
She slammed the knife down and everyone looked at her.
“No, you’re not. Don’t you get it? He’s coming for us. That asshole wants to make us bleed! How do you fucking think he’s going to do that?”
No one said a word.
Emma was really upset.
In fact, Tears had filled her eyes.
“Emma,” Chris said, shocked at her outburst.
“I can’t lose any of you. For once, Chris, stop being so damn stubborn and just do what’s best for you. I had to watch one brother die, and I can’t…”
She couldn’t do it.
The words wouldn’t come out, and the picture of Gage on the floor was now replaced with Chris.
It was too much to handle, even for her. Emma knew so much was at stake.
“Excuse me,” she said, walking away. “I can’t do this.”
They all watched her leave.
“I’ll go.”
Chris stopped Greyson. “I’ll do it. I caused it, and I’ll fix it.”
Tessa popped out of Paris’s lap. “I’ll watch the pasta. Can someone start making that salad?” she asked.
Curtis and Paris jumped in, helping out, much like a family would.
Greyson closed his eyes and rubbed his fingers over his face in frustration. He knew this was wearing on all of them, but until that moment, he didn’t realize Emma was carrying so much.
She never raised her voice.
She didn’t snap.
And crying? It wasn’t often.
“It’s going to be okay,” Dimitri stated, patting him on the shoulder. “It’ll be over soon, and life will go back to what it once was.”
“You don’t really believe that, and we both know it. You can’t bullshit someone who does it all day, Dimitri.”
He was right.
It was bullshit.
Dimitri was a soldier and he knew the cold hard facts of life.
In war, there were casualties and lost lives.
It was only a matter of time. What was coming was bigger than he told them. Now, he needed to hold it all back.
Or the Crofts wouldn’t be making it to the other side.
He found her by the pool.
She was sitting in a lounge chair and crying. There was nothing as horrible as a woman in tears. They could break a man in seconds.
Or at least they worked on him. Only this time, he knew from Emma’s past, that this wasn’t to manipulate him. She was genuinely worried.
Make that scared.
Heading her way, he needed to fix that ding to her heart. Truth be told, he didn’t know how the hell to even do that.
Chris never knew how to handle situations like this. He was a cop who babysat homicide detectives for a living. They didn’t burst into tears when you tore them a new one.
Hell!
They expected it.
Then with his ex-wife, he eventually became immune to them because she used them as a weapon, but then this woman rolled into his life.
Tears took him to his knees.
As he approached, she sniffled and wiped her eyes. “I’m fine. I only need a minute to regroup.”
He didn't buy that for a single second.
“You don’t look fine, Emma. Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
“No.”
“Well, I do. You’re one of the most levelheaded people I know. That’s what I like best about you. You’re calm under pressure, and you never lose it.”
She stared down at her hands.
“I’m going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine.”
He wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince him or herself.
It was a toss-up.
“Honey, you’re not fine.”
No, she wasn’t.
Emma glanced up. “I’m scared, Chris. I’ve never been this frightened in my life. I feel like I’m barely holding it together.”
He let her talk as he took a seat on the colorful cabana beside her.
“When I lost Gage, it was hard. He was the last link to my life, and without him, I didn't think I could go on. I was wrong. I found a family, and I rebuilt myself back up. There are days when I think that’s a bad thing.”
“Like now when Marianna is after them?”
“Yes. I watched Greyson struggle when Paris was shot, and I look at Curtis, Tessa, and you, and I think…‘God, what if’?”
He took her hand in his much larger one. “You’re like a mother.”
She grimaced.
“I mean it. You hold all this together. Do you think Greyson Croft could pull this off alone? He’s a Fed, but he’s not the mother in the group. When it’s someone’s birthday, you make them a cake. When Paris and Tessa got married, you threw them a wedding. He’s as strong as he is because of you, and we’re all better people because of it.”
She didn't know what to say.
She didn’t see herself as strong. In fact, the opposite was true. Emma felt like she was losing it.
“People die, honey. It’s a fact of life. When we put on these badges, you know that we assume we’re going to die young. You can’t tell me you never thought that.”
He was right.
And it scared her.
“I think it every day. When Brynn died, I began counting my days. It hit close to home, and I started wondering if I was going to be next. If Greyson gets that phone call, it’s not going to be good.”
He was aware.
“If Dominic Marianna is going to kill me, Emma, I have one thing to keep me sane.”
“What?”
“That the people who love me, this family of ours, it’s going to keep fighting and not let me die in vain. I’ll live on through all of you, and the same is true for everyone in that kitchen. No one will be forgotten, and leaving a legacy behind is the most important thing.”
The tears came.
“Don’t die, Chris. Promise me you’ll stick around,” she said. “I can’t handle losing any of you. One more death, and I’m not going to rebound.”
He stood and pulled Emma to her feet. When she was up, he hugged her. Emma sobbed into his dress shirt as she clung to him. The entire time, he soothingly ran his hand up and down her back.
“It’s okay, Emma. You're a fighter. I’ll stay here if it gives you a little peace.”
Greyson stood in the doorway leading out to the pool, watching his wife.
This city was eating away at her too.
He’d seen it before, but right now, in that minute, he realized how bad it really was. She was silently suffering, and he hated it.
He loathed that he’d brought her here.
He loathed that he’d put her in this position.
No one should carry that burden.
“Dinner’s ready,” he said, alerting them that he was there. Chris looked up, and mouthed, ‘Help’.
Croft took that as his cue.
“Chris, head in and eat. I’ve got this.”
He dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “Kiddo, we’ll make it. I promise. I’ll be there when this is all over. When the dust settles, Marianna won’t win. We will. The good guys always come out with the victory.”
God!
She wished that was true.
“Thank you, Chris.”
He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. “Have I ever lied to you?”
“No.”
“I’m not lying now. When you see me panic, be afraid. Until then, we’re good. We’re all good.”
She wiped her eyes.
When Greyson touched her shoulder, she went into his arms.
Chris headed in, and instead of remaining there, on the patio, Greyson scooped his wife up in his arms and headed inside with her the back way. She needed a break, and he wanted to give it to her.
Upstairs, in the master suite, he began undressing her. He knew exactly what his wife needed. Heading into their large bathroom, he turned on the tub and dumped bubbles into it. As it filled, he stripped down and found her sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Come on, honey. Let’s go relax. We need to take a few minutes to regroup.”
With that, he carried her into the bathroom, and they sank into the heated water.
Both sighed as the warmth overtook them.
Neither spoke for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“For?”
“I’m not strong. I don’t know if I can do this, Grey. If I have to bury anyone else, I’m not going to rebound. With each death, it weighs on me.”
“It weighs on me too.”
She leaned against him as he ran his fingers up and down her leg. “We are strong together, Em. Alone, not so much.”
“I know you’re right.”
“Do you trust me, Emma?”
There was no one in the world she trusted more. Before him, there was nothing.
Now, there was everything.
Greyson had become her whole life. In the short time they’d been together, they’d woven together.
They were solid.
“Yes, I trust you.”
“If I think we won’t survive this, I’ll be the first to admit it. You’re strong, Emma. We’re going to make it out of this.”
“Intact?”
He was already thinking about life without his career, his prestige, and the FBI. Something had to give.
It was better to be him, than Emma. Her life had been far more traumatic than his. If one of them had to take one for the team and make the sacrifice, it would be him.
“Yes. I have a backup plan.”
She didn't ask what it was. Honestly, she trusted her husband so much, that she didn't need to know. Greyson would have her back.
She just had to believe.
Slowly, her eyes began closing, as he left feather light kisses across her shoulders.
“Emma?”
“Hmmm?” she whispered.
“Let go. I love you.”
Because their love was so strong, she did.
* * * Croft & Croft * * *
As the rest of the family ate dinner in the kitchen, Katerina wasn’t in the mood. She was regretting everything she’d done.
Maybe her brother was right.
They weren’t supposed to love.
When your life is so destroyed and mangled, the best you could hope for was to watch others find happiness. It was possible that she was never going to know what love was.
This was her destiny, forged in a hideous past.
Still…she wanted it so much.
There wasn’t a day in her life where she remembered contentment, peace, and love. From childhood, it had been a struggle. The only two forces that kept her from breaking under the pressure were her brother and the stubbornness to not lose.
She was Russian and that strong will was born into her and forged by the desire not to break, no matter what anyone did to her.
Only, this time, she was afraid.
When Curtis had whispered her real name, it brought all the demons to the surface. It was like some magic spell gone horribly awry, bringing back to life the nightmares she’d escaped.
Katerina knew that he didn't mean to do it.
She knew he wasn’t aware what that one word would do to her.
Still.
It hurt.
She wanted what others had. In her life, there had been no sweetness, no gentleness, and no love. Other than Dimitri, no one ever loved her enough to care.
That’s what she craved.
Not the money.
Not the power over life and death.
Not the glory of being the best thief in the world.
She wanted to feel what others so casually threw away. Katerina wanted a man who would hold her like Greyson held Emma. She wanted a man who would offer up his lap like Paris did for Tessa.
She was starving for that one connection.
This emotional fast was depleting her body of any hope she had of fulfilling her dreams, hopes, and desires.
She wanted to win for once.
She wanted to be happy.
Kat knew it was so close, yet so far away. Now, any hope of it was gone, and she knew it. Katerina was too broken to ever have any of it.
Curtis would see her for what she was, and she couldn’t blame him. She wanted to hide from him, embarrassed by her own weakness.
It was unacceptable.
What did she have to offer him? She was some emotionally stunted child when it came to relationships.
She was battered.
Bruised.
Damaged.
As she moved toward her room, she needed to find a safe place to disappear. Living there, with him under the same roof, was difficult. She was drawn to his smile, the curl in the middle of his forehead, and his sweetness.
He was everything she wasn’t.
Curtis was a gentle soul. All she wanted was to be part of that kindness to help her get through the day. Only now, she’d ruined it. The man was recovering from his own scars, and she just acted like a child, running in fear.
Shame on her.
She knew better.
Still…
A part of her wished he would have chased. She wanted to feel that love.
Entering her room, something didn't feel right. She was super aware of her surroundings, and it smelled…off.
Hitting the light, she couldn’t believe it.
On her bed were roses.
Little ones.
Big ones.
Pink, white, and red.
They were from the garden. She’d know their scent anywhere.
But how?
Moving toward them, she found a single sheet of paper in the middle of the display. Picking it up, her heart skipped when she saw his name.
Slowly, she read the words, savoring each and every one.
‘Katerina,
I know why you ran. I’ve spent the last few months running too. I’m sorry I hurt you by using your name. I didn’t want to do that to you. It’s just that we aren’t defined by our past. We’re defined by our now. When you’re done running, you know where to find me. You gave me time, and now I will give you the same. You may not believe it, but you are a beautiful flower to me.
Curtis.’
She couldn’t believe it.
The words touched her on such a deep level. He realized why she hurt, and she never had to tell him. That had to mean something, right?
Picking up a bloom, she breathed in its scent. It was amazing.
At the knock on her door, she hoped it would be him. Only it wasn’t. It was Natasha.
“Are you okay? You hid through dinner. Dimitri isn’t going to buy that you needed a break. He’s going to start digging.”
She was well aware.
“I’m not okay,” she said. “Look.”
Opening the door, Natasha grinned. “You stole all the flowers from the garden?” she teased.
“No, Curtis was here.”
“Was he?”
She handed her half-sister the note he’d left for her. The women were close, and Natasha would help her navigate this. It wasn’t as if she could go to Dimitri.
He’d lose it.
“That’s pretty sweet and romantic.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
Natasha knew these two were going to be a lot of work. It was a good thing she loved seeing people happy and didn’t mind the challenge.
What else was she going to do?
“What do I do? Help me.”
“He left you a note, now you should tell him you’re interested. You are interested, right?” she asked.
Katerina touched one of the roses. “What if I can’t…?”
Natasha turned her around. “We’re safe here. He’s not going to hurt you.
No man who does this would break you. Look at his parents, and you’ll see the man.”
She thought about it.
“He doesn’t have parents.”
Natasha headed for the door. “You and I both know that’s not true. Yes, yes, he does. The Crofts are good people, and he is too.”
With that, she left.
Katerina stared at the flowers and tried to figure out what to do.
Dare she send the message back?
She reread the note.
Yes, she would.
Kat loved living on the edge.
And it appeared she was going to take the plunge. Hopefully, not to her death.
* * * Croft & Croft * * *
Curtis’s Room
After dinner, everyone went their separate ways. Tessa and Paris got a ride back to Sky Villa, Chris Ford grabbed his overnight bag out of his truck and headed to a room, and Curtis did the same.
Fortunately for him, Greyson was nowhere to be found. That meant he wouldn’t get the third degree over why he was in a mood.
The last thing he wanted was to go to the man asking more babe advice.
He was pretty sure Greyson would kick his ass if he asked again. After the Brynn nightmare, where he ignored pretty much everything he was told, he didn't want to piss his mentor off.
Instead, he was going to navigate this one alone.
Still…
It was tempting to knock on Emma and Greyson’s door and pop in. They always told him if he needed them they were available.
Then he talked himself out of it.
No, he’d work this out alone.
Instead of bothering them, he headed to his room. He’d do some searches, crash, and try not to stress what he’d done to scare Kat away.
Honestly, he was scared shitless.
Leaving that note had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. When it came to women, he was a mess. Now he had to hope that Katerina would forgive him.
He was still learning. There was no doubt in his mind that he was a work in progress.
As he entered his room, it was empty.
What was he expecting? A sexy woman waiting for him like he mattered?
Justice is Dead (Croft & Croft Romance Adventure Book 7) Page 19