My breath stills, and heat spreads through my body. “How do you do that? How do you just know things about me?”
“Because it’s my job to understand people and emotions and secrets, and the things we do in the dark and the things we tell others and don’t tell others. That’s why I do what I do. And I know you’re absolutely turned on right now.”
“How do you know?” I ask in a challenging voice, even though I’m sure I’m an open book.
He brushes my hair away from my shoulder, trails his tongue from my collarbone to my earlobe. “Because your cheeks have this pink glow, and your eyes go all hazy, and you part your lips, and I know it means you’re aching for me to touch you,” he says, and I can’t help myself. I breathe harder and gasp out, “Oh God.” Neither one of us is touching me right now, but I can feel how hot I’m getting between my legs, how I’m aching for pressure, for touch, for release. “Touch yourself,” he commands.
I nod, close my eyes, and slip my hand under my dress until my fingers reach my wetness.
“Tell me how wet you are now.”
“More than I’ve ever been,” I say as a low moan escapes my lips.
He brings my face closer to his, so he’s wrapped an arm around me, as if he’s shielding me from anyone who might see or hear. “And how does it feel to have your fingers on your clit while I’m right here next to you, and I can smell how turned on you are?”
“Oh God,” I gasp. He’s sending me to another plane of pleasure with the way he strips me bare. I am burning all over, my whole body lit up by how he talks to me. “I’m so turned on.”
“And have you masturbated thinking about me fucking you?”
“Yes,” I say, as sparks of pleasure careen through my body with every dirty word from his mouth.
“And how do I do it?”
“Any way. You do it any and every way.”
“Do I fuck you from behind? With you bent over the bed?”
“Yes.”
“And do I fuck you up against the wall, with your legs wrapped around me?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” I answer in heavy pants, my breath wildly erratic as electric heat ripples through my veins.
“And do you take me in your mouth?”
“God, yes. I want to do that to you. I want you to let me,” I whisper to him in a hungry, needy voice, because he’s driving me absolutely insane and to the far edge of pleasure.
He traces my top lip with his finger. “You think you’d like having my cock in your mouth?”
“Yes. I want to. I want to taste you,” I say, then he slips his finger into my mouth and I close my lips around it.
“You’re so close now to coming, aren’t you?”
I breathe out a strangled yes, as he takes his finger away.
“I don’t want anyone else to hear you,” he says in a firm voice. “The noises you make are only for me.”
“Yes.” I’m barely in this restaurant anymore. I’m someplace else with him, a dark and desperate place, as he cups the back of my head and brings my face to his neck, so my mouth is near his ear. “Now pretend you’re home, and you have to be quiet, but it’s so fucking hard to be quiet, because you’re picturing my cock in your mouth, and your beautiful lips wrapped around me.”
It’s all I can see, all I can picture, and I want to touch him, to know how hard he is, if he’s as turned on as I am right now, because I’m well past caring about anything except the way my body screams for him. I could hike up my dress, unzip his pants, and slide on top of him right now. I could ride him right here in the far back corner of this too-cool-for-school restaurant and I honestly wouldn’t care if anyone saw me, because I am mindless with my desire for him. I am adrift in lust, and all I want is release, and I start to cry out because it feels so good. But he silences me quickly, rasping his knuckles against my lips. “Bite down when you come.”
And I do, as my fingers fly and an orgasm starts deep in my belly and then spreads through my body, making me quiver and shake and want to shout and moan and thrash, but instead I bite down on him to muffle my sounds as I shudder and come for him in the restaurant where we’ll be eating dinner any minute.
Finally, when I can breathe and speak and recognize reality, I look at him, and he has the most satisfied grin on his face when he shows me the bite marks I left on his knuckles.
“I’m so sorry,” I say.
“Don’t ever be sorry for that.” Then he takes my hand, and he presses it against his pants so I can feel his cock straining against the fabric. He unzips the fly, locks my fingers into his, and brings my hand inside his pants, then down his boxer briefs, and I nearly combust when I touch him for the first time. He’s so hard and big and velvety smooth. He’s throbbing in my hands, and I can tell how much he wants me to touch him.
“Let me,” I plead.
He gives me a smirk, then shakes his head playfully as if I’ve been naughty.
“God, when are you going to sleep with me?” I ask because I’m so keyed up and so frustrated. “I want you inside me.”
He removes my hand from his pants, zips them up, and fastens the button.
“When I can fuck you and make love to you at the same time, Jill. Because that’s what I want from you,” he says, so matter-of-factly he could be giving me a note on how to do a scene better in the show. This is what he wants. This is what he expects from me. This is what I’ll have to deliver. “That’s how I want to have you. Now it looks like our food is here, and I’m hungry.”
The waiter serves our fish. Davis says thank you, and all I can do is mumble a thanks. He is so cool and collected and yet I’m the one who got off. This man vexes me with the way he takes care of me so thoroughly and protects his own heart so fiercely.
But then, I suppose I know what that’s like. I’ve been doing it for years.
He slices his fish and spears a forkful. “Now, I want to ask you to go out with me again.”
“A second date?” I ask, as he takes a bite of his dinner.
“Yes. Come with me to the Broadway Cares event.”
“It’s one thing for me to be at a restaurant with you. But there will be people there we know.”
He huffs out a sigh. “Fine. You’ll come in a restaurant for me, but you won’t attend a formal event where I have to say a few words about the fundraising,” he teases, shaking his head.
“It’s not the same,” I try to point out, but my argument seems invalid, even to me.
“You’re right, Jill,” he says, playing along, as he places his fork and knife down to take a drink. “That’s why it’s a good thing I have access to extra tickets. Perhaps you can go with Shelby, and I can look at you across the room and pretend I don’t know what you look like and sound like and feel like when you come for me.”
A charge races through me, and I’m about ready to grab him, pull him into the bathroom and insist on what I want right now. Instead, I try my hand at negotiation. “I’m pretty good at acting. Maybe I’ll go and act as if I’m not dying to have you. Maybe then you’ll finally let me.”
The gauntlet is thrown.
25
Davis
Clay calls as I’m leaving Times Square subway station, heading up the steps to the street.
“Are you emailing me that new route to work? Because I’m walking precariously close to the Belasco in about thirty seconds when I cross Forty-Fourth Street,” I say, and the funny thing is it wouldn’t bother me if I bumped into Madeline.
“Man, you are just a tough bastard, aren’t you? But that’s not why I’m calling.”
“Ah, you miss me, even though I saw you an hour ago at the gym,” I joke, as the smell of pretzels wafts past me from a nearby street vendor.
“Yeah, exactly. So, I’m calling with a heads-up.”
I groan. A heads-up is never good.
“Don is at the St. James already. He’s got some film producers there to check out Patrick.”
My shoulders tighten. “What? Nobody told me about
this.”
“It’s the Pinkertons,” he says, mentioning the names of a pair of British brothers who bankroll films. “For the second picture in Escorted Lives.”
“The first hasn’t even started shooting yet. They’re turning it into a trilogy already?”
“Books were so damn popular, the Pinkertons are doing all three. And there’s a new-guy-in-town role for the second film, so they want to consider Patrick for it. You know his Crash the Moon contract is for ten months, so his agent brought in the producers since they’re in town for a few days.”
“Do they think they’re going to watch the rehearsal? Because that’s not how it works,” I say firmly, my muscles tensing all over. “It’s not a goddamn open rehearsal. If the film producers want to see him play Paolo, they buy a ticket to the show when it opens in two weeks.”
“I know,” Clay says, heaving a sigh. “I said the same thing to Don. But you know Don.”
“Yeah, he’s an ass. What’s the deal? Is he in bed with the film producers? Is he getting a cut?”
“I think he’s vying for some small producer credit on the film. That’s why he brought them in. It should only be a few more minutes. He’s got that understudy with him.”
I stop in my tracks, feeling punched in the ribs. A woman in a suit and heels bumps into me, and I mutter an apology, then step into the doorway of Sardi’s to get out of the way.
“That understudy?” I ask through clenched teeth.
“McCormick? Is that her name?”
“Jill McCormick.” I shut my eyes. My blood feels like it’s boiling, and I don’t know what pisses me off more—Don commandeering the stage or Jill not mentioning she’d be doing a scene with Patrick for the producers of a romantic movie.
Rationally, I know she’ll play many romantic roles throughout her career. Logically, I would never do anything to stop her. But seeing as she’s auditioning for all intents and purposes with him, I would have appreciated a heads-up from her. I don’t know why she wouldn’t tell me she was reading with him, but the omission sends a hot rush of jealousy through my veins.
“Patrick likes working with her, so he wanted to do a scene with her for the producers. Not from Crash the Moon though. Don’t worry about that. They’re just running lines from the next book.”
“Oh great,” I say sarcastically. “That just makes it all fucking better.”
“Yeah, sorry, man.” But he doesn’t know the half of why I’m angry. “And listen, I know you can’t stand Don. But the show opens in two weeks, so if you could do your best to let this go that would help me a ton as I work on what’s next for you. Got a few possibilities I’m working on. Maybe some Twelfth Night in London. Maybe a film.”
“Let me know what you come up with. I’m always ready for the next challenge.”
I resume my path to the theater. I turn into the alley, and Don is walking toward me with the Pinkertons. Don smiles broadly, and I seethe inside, but do my best to follow Clay’s advice. “Davis,” he calls out as if we’re pals happy to see each other. “Have you met Nicholas and Jonathan Pinkerton?”
I extend a hand, keeping my anger tightly wrapped inside as I meet the two brothers. “Pleasure to meet you both.”
Jonathan Pinkerton shakes my hand enthusiastically and beams a bright smile that takes me by surprise. “I’m a huge fan of your work,” Jonathan says. “I’ve seen all your shows on Broadway. South Pacific, and Anything for You, and The Saying Goes. Loved your film too. And I also saw World Enough and Time at La Jolla. Thought it was utterly brilliant.”
I’m taken aback. I didn’t expect Pinkerton to be anything but a dick. But then, that’s because he’s guilty by association with Don in my book. “Thank you very much.”
“I’ve often thought that play would make a wonderful film adaptation,” he says, glancing up pensively at the gray February sky. Then he begins reciting lines from the Andrew Marvelle poem. “Had we but world enough, and time. This coyness, Lady, were no crime. We would sit down and think which way to walk and pass our long love’s day.”
I flash back to the play. To Madeline playing the lead role. To the days and nights when those lines and many others from the play were all I lived and breathed. When I felt that way for her. Now, three years later, the lines are only lines, the memory just that. Only a memory, and it doesn’t hurt anymore.
“Helluva poem,” I say, because it’s true, and because that’s all the poem is anymore.
Nicholas gives me a serious look. “You know, Mr. Milo. We should talk about you turning that into a film quite soon. Shall we set up a meeting for later this week?”
“Absolutely,” I say, and I’m honestly not sure how the morning is working itself into such a strange turn of events. I’ve gone from being blindsided, to being offered a possible next job. But the fact is, I need to think about what I want to do next. The work of a director is done once the show opens. The actors keep it going, and I move on to the next job.
Don and the Pinkertons walk away, and I head inside the theater as Patrick and Jill leave the stage. The guilty look in her eyes makes my heart stop, but she’s desperately trying to make eye contact with me, and she’s mouthing the words I didn’t know under her breath.
Patrick calls out to me. “Milo!”
He has such a bright smile that he makes it nearly impossible to dislike him. Especially when I can’t let my professional side pander to my personal one. “Hey! That was totally last minute. Agent called late last night since the Pinkertons were in town, and Don okayed it. Hope you don’t mind us using the stage for it.”
“Of course not, Patrick,” I say, in my calmest voice because the last thing I need is for Patrick to be anything other than happy. He’s a linchpin in this show, and if I want it to be the hit it can be, I have to make sure the leading man has no clue I’ve dreamed of all the ways I can take him out of the running with Jill. “The stage is always available for you.”
“You’re the best, man.”
Then he bounds down the hall to his dressing room, singing a cappella to a Jack Johnson tune about beaches and sunny skies. I turn around to see Jill standing in the hallway. “I tried to call you this morning to tell you,” she says quietly so no one else can hear.
“You did?”
“Yeah. About thirty minutes ago. I got a crazy call this morning from my agent to be here, so I rushed to get ready, and I called you when I was in a cab. But you didn’t pick up.”
“Must have been on the subway.”
“I would have told you. You have to know that, Davis.” There’s real worry in her voice that she might have crossed some sort of line. The genuine concern in her eyes erases all my irritation from before. Then it hits me, like a blow I didn’t see coming—she can do this to me. She has this power over me. She alone has a direct line to my heart. Where I was jealous and angry minutes ago, now I am reduced to an all too familiar feeling when I’m with her.
The feeling of not wanting to be without her.
I press a hand against the wall, and curse under my breath.
“Are you okay?” She lays a hand on my arm.
No. I’m totally screwed.
I momentarily flash on Ryder’s words before dinner—have some fucking fun. He could probably already tell that it was more than fun for me. That it was fun, and much more than I expected.
“Yeah. Just need to get started. That little stunt cut into the day.” I push all my frustration onto Don, even though it’s with me and with how I feel for her. I head for the stage, leaving her behind. I need to focus on getting this show ready, because that’s why I’m here. Not for any other reason.
Everyone is gone now. I’m sitting on the edge of the stage, and Jill’s walking down the aisle of the theater for one of our last private rehearsals.
“Are you still mad at me?” she asks in a small, nervous voice when she reaches me. It’s the first time we’ve been alone today. The theater is quiet and her footsteps echo.
“I was never real
ly mad at you.”
She holds up her thumb and forefinger. “Just a tiny bit?”
I run a hand through my hair. “Just annoyed in general,” I admit. “But I’m not anymore.” I pat the edge of the stage. “Come here.”
She hops up on the stage and sits next to me. She fidgets with the cuffs on her sweater. Rolling them up. Pushing them down. “I was worried all day.”
“You were?” There’s a part of me that’s glad she felt that way, though I know that makes me seem cruel. But it gives me a flicker of hope that maybe this isn’t a one-way street.
“I don’t want you to be mad at me and think things with Patrick . . .” She doesn’t finish the thought.
I want to ask if she’s still in love with him. I want to know if he’s still on her mind all the time. But I also know I can’t handle the answer if it’s yes. I can’t keep going there.
“Jill, if you have a chance to act in a film when your contract is up, and that’s what you want, you should pursue it. Even if it’s with him.” I focus on the professional side of things, though it takes every ounce of my strength to get those words out without sounding like a jerk.
“Can I ask you a question? Why are you so nice to him? I know how you really feel about him. But you’re always so nice to him, like this morning in the hallway.”
“Because that’s what he needs to perform,” I say, as if the answer is obvious. But it’s only obvious to me, because this is the way I work. This is the way I manage actors to get the best from them. “I know Patrick. I’ve worked with him. He’s one of those people who was born skipping, and he’s an amazing talent, and he needs to be happy all the time. That’s what he needs to give the best performances. And that’s what I want.”
“The best performance?” She raises an eyebrow, as if she’s considering this for the first time.
“Yes. Of course, I want the best performance. Nothing less.”
The Private Rehearsal (Caught Up In Love: The Swoony New Reboot of the Contemporary Romance Series Book 4) Page 16