by M. N. Forgy
“Who, Jayden? Yeah,” I respond, trying to keep up. We round the café and Landon charges out of the building, nearly knocking into Chasen.
“Watch it, ass-wipe!” Chasen hollers, puffing his chest out. My breath catches in my throat. I’m at a complete loss as to why Chasen is being so rude.
Landon’s face turns into a scowl that has me scared as he steps up to Chasen. My breathing shallows and I watch in terror at the two handsome men giving death stares at each other. It’s like watching two tigers circle each other with preying eyes.
“Watch where you’re walking,” Landon responds, his tone low and menacing. I clear my throat, trying to get rid of the sudden lump forming, and Landon slowly draws his attention from Chasen to me. My chest constricts, and my stomach falls.
“Charlie,” he mutters. His eyes shine, and the way he says my name sounds like a prayer slipping from his lips. He winks, and my panties go damp. My chest nearly explodes with admiration. His face is so perfect. Even the way he talks is perfect.
“Hi,” I reply weakly.
Chasen’s chest begins to rise and fall rapidly with rage, his eyes darting between Landon and me.
He steps over and grabs my hand. “Let’s get out of here, Charlie.” He drags me toward his truck and away from Landon. I can’t help but look over my shoulder to get one more glimpse at Landon, the way his dark hair shifts in the wind, and how he jerks his tie angrily. It’s a sight that would make any woman fall to her knees. I wonder what the hell happened between Landon and Chasen. Clearly, there’s some tension between the two.
“So, where are we going?” I ask, searching for my seatbelt.
“Somewhere quiet,” he mutters, pulling out onto the street. I peer under my lashes at Chasen, who’s clearly upset. His face is red, his jaw clenched. He has one hand over the steering wheel, and we’re going way over the speed limit. I fiddle with my hands nervously, the question I want to ask dangling in the air between us like bait waiting for a shark. I blow a steady breath and go for it.
“What was all that about?” I furrow my brows and watch his reaction.
Chasen scoffs and rubs at his chin.
“That ol’ man just has it out for me. Because he has money, he thinks he can just do whatever he wants,” he replies, his face even redder by the end. I bite my inner cheek and look out the window. I don’t know Landon, but the couple of times I met him, I didn’t get the impression he was some rich asshole. Rich, yes, but not an asshole.
Riding in the truck, the windows down and a warm breeze blowing through, Chasen grasps my hand resting on the seat. I peer up at him as he focuses on the road. Butterflies swarm in my stomach, making me fidget in my seat. I have never had a boyfriend before, never had a guy interested in me who looked as sexy as Chasen. It all feels too surreal. Living in foster care, not having the nicest of things, not many boys looked my way.
Chasen pulls onto a dirt road, the sun resting on the horizon warning us of its departure.
Passing a ‘closed’ sign, I give Chasen a concerned look.
“It says closed,” I point out.
“Yeah, so?” he replies, shrugging. I smirk at his rebel behavior and shrug myself, sitting back in the seat.
He pulls over and turns the truck off. Looking out the window, I notice a small lake with palm trees planted nicely around it, and little picnic benches scattered here and there. There’s yellow caution tape around areas, with small yellow tractors parked nearby. It looks like this place is still under construction.
“Come on,” Chasen mumbles, getting out of the truck. I hop out and shut the door, the sound of it closing echoes through the deserted area.
Chasen walks up behind me, placing both of his hands on my hips possessively. He nips my shoulder with his teeth, causing my body to drum with that delicious ache from when I gave him head for the first time.
“Come on, let’s check it out.” He pushes on my back, urging me forward.
We make our way up the lake, the smell of dirty water strong.
“Got a big game tomorrow,” Chasen explains, looking out across the distance. “Scouts coming in, my father on my ass. It’s fucking stressful,” he mutters.
“I bet,” I reply, resting against one of the yellow tractors. I actually have no idea what kind of stress he’s under. To have a parent believe in you so much it stresses you out, I’ve never experienced it. Chasen turns, looking at me with a mischievous grin.
“You’re sexy as hell, do you know that?”
“Do you tell all the girls that line?” I sass. Chasen laughs and runs his hand over his chin. He walks toward me, grabs my backside and pulls me in close. My eyes widen, my mouth parting with a thirst of longing.
He runs a hand between my thighs, making my legs part and my head fall back against the large tire belonging to the machine behind me.
He rubs his fingers back and forth over the material of my underwear, causing me to pant with the incredible pressure building.
“You like that?” he whispers roughly. I nod, fevering myself onto his fingers. The intensity climbs, turning into a warmth that envelops my whole lower half.
“Yeah?” he pants arrogantly, rubbing harder. His other hand comes up and grabs my tit hard, causing me to moan.
My body shudders and stiffens with an incredible sensation that drives through my core. It tingles and is almost too much to handle, but I can’t help but want to keep pushing myself on his hands for more of it. Sparks ignite behind my eyes, my body riding a wave of indescribable ecstasy. But as soon as it came… it vanishes, leaving me a panting mess. Chasen turns away as I’m gasping against the wheel.
“Come here, Charlie,” he demands, unbuttoning his jeans. I close my mouth, my tongue sticking to the roof from my heavy breathing.
I pull myself off the tractor and stride toward him. His jeans are wrapped around his ankles as he fists his cock.
“Still won’t fuck me?” he questions with a salacious smirk. My eyebrows narrow inward, telling him no. “Then suck me. Give me that beautiful mouth of yours,” he pants, sliding his hand up and down his shaft.
I lower myself to my knees, the desert sand burning them. My eyes never leaving his, I grab the base of his cock and slowly cover the head with my tongue.
“You fucking tease,” he grunts, grabbing the back of my head and pushing my mouth all the way onto his dick. I smile around his length; the control I have is a high. I have never had control of anything in my life. But when it comes to this, using my body, I have control not only of myself, but the man who wants it, as well. I suck, and bob, and suck some more before I feel his cock tighten and pulse against my tongue. I close my eyes, preparing myself for the warmth about to spill into my mouth, but he pulls out instead. As soon as I open my eyes, I’m sprayed in the face with warm semen. Chasen grunts as he strokes himself, releasing little beads of sticky cum onto my face. I turn away and get it in my hair, causing him to chuckle, an arrogant smirk covering his face.
“It’s not fucking funny,” I respond angry, shoving him away from me. “Seriously?” I growl, trying to wipe the mess off my face.
“I’m sorry, babe. I was just messing around.” Chasen laughs, pushing my hair from my face.
After I wipe my face clean of what I could with my hands, Chasen pulls me up and lifts my face toward his.
“I gotta get home. I need my focus for tomorrow,” he explains.
“Yeah, okay. I understand,” I reply, still irritated.
We walk back to his truck and get in. The air conditioning caresses my sweaty body as he starts the engine.
Chasen pulls up to my apartment and parks. The sky is dark from the sun setting; the only thing I can see is the small glow from the café in the distance.
“You wanna come up?” I ask, looking over at him stretched out in his seat.
“Can’t, babe,” he responds, lifting up in his seat and messing with something in his back pocket.
“Your shoes,” he mentions, jerking his head tow
ard my feet. I look down, noticing my worn-out flip-flops.
“Yeah, what about them?” I ask, confused.
Chasen pulls some cash out, throwing it on the seat. “Get you some better ones or something.” My mouth falls open at the eighty bucks sitting on the leather seat.
“You deserve something better,” he mutters, leaning over and kissing my forehead. I shut my mouth and look up at him, curious why he cares so much about my fucking shoes.
“My flip-flops are fine,” I assure.
“Then get something else,” he responds, giving me a wink and putting the truck into drive.
I haven’t been one to know much about what boyfriends and girlfriends do in a relationship. Hell, I don’t know what the hell you would even call Chasen and me, but I had a friend in high school who was always dating older guys. The men she went with would shower her in the finest jewelry and always gave her cash for spending. But who am I kidding? Jayden and I need the money so badly, who cares why Chasen’s giving it to me? I look at it and see food rather than shoes. With that, I grab the cash and stuff it down my shirt.
“See you around, Charlie.” I look up and find Chasen flashing a menacing smile.
I blink rapidly, his smile taking me aback, and shut the cab door.
***
Chasen showed up a couple times a week after that. He would take me somewhere, and before I knew what was happening, I was either giving him head or a hand job. Not every time, but most of the time he would return the favor, rubbing on me just right to make me obliterate into nothing but pleasure. He has asked me several times if I was ready to have sex, and every time, I told him no. I just wanted more than some quickie in the back of a truck. I wanted what you see in the movies. The unmistaken sparks that fly from touching one another, and a more romantic place than public. But realistically, I’m not fooling myself. I know that kind of romance doesn’t exist. What I need is to not be alone anymore. I want to be a part of something whole, and not broken.
He has bought me clothes, shoes, a cell phone, and even helped me with my rent. Jayden and I actually have some food in our fridge. We’d be starving or out on the streets without him. The next time we go out, I think I may give myself to him fully. Maybe. I don’t know.
My stomach falls with the thought, excitement and confusion racing through me like a source of adrenaline. I want to want to have sex with Chasen, but for some reason, my head isn’t as convinced. Get a grip. It’ll be like taking off a Band-Aid; just get it over with. Chasen is the only guy who’s showed any interest in me since… ever.
I’m thinking way too much about it. I blow an irritated breath. It’s just sex. Nothing more. Besides, it’s not like I have a line of suitors lined up at my door. Maybe sex is exactly what I need to fill this aching hole in my chest. It’s like a black hole that’s been there since I can remember, and it sucks the life out of me.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, babe,” Jayden informs, walking out the door.
“Where are you going?” I question, all motherly and whatnot. Jayden sighs and rolls her eyes.
“There’s a frat party. I’m just going to go check it out. Chill,” she huffs, slamming the door before leaving.
I reach over and grab some pink fingernail polish as my phone vibrates. It’s just a cheapy pay-as-you-go, but it’s the only cell phone I’ve ever had. I reach over and grab it.
I got something just for you, babe. Meet me outside in ten.
“He has something for me?” I mutter, a smile creeping across my face. My heart skips a beat in excitement. I’ve never been given a gift before.
I run over to the closet and find that black dress, grabbing Jayden’s black heels that match it. I look in my suitcase for some clean panties, but come up short. I need to go to the dry cleaners bad. Looks like I’m going commando. Jayden would be proud.
I finger my hair, trying to tame the bed-head look I’ve got going on, and quickly apply some light makeup. My heart beats against my chest anxiously, curious at what Chasen has for me. I’m excited and nearly trip on my heels exiting the apartment.
Walking out, it’s hot and muggy, even when the sun has gone down. The street is deserted and the café up the street just turned its lights off, making the area pitch-black. The eerie darkness conceals the alleys and sidewalk, a sense of unease rushing in my veins. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. A bunch of deep laughter echoes down the way, causing me to look toward the street heading toward the college.
“Fancy!” Chasen hollers. Hearing his voice, I relax a little, knowing he’s there. As he gets closer, I notice a couple of buff guys walking beside him. I look at the bunch in confusion. I thought Chasen would be alone. Heading toward them, I hear music blaring from the college dorms, Eminem and Sia’s, “Beautiful Disaster”.
“This her?” a guy with a low buzz-cut and what looks like a college football jersey that matches Chasen’s asks. His eyes rake over my frame unforgivingly, and he licks his bottom lip. I curl my own in reaction.
“Damn, man,” another guy with dark, short-spiked hair remarks. My spine stiffens and my body chills. I’m not sure why I react with such high-alert, but my instincts are telling me I should run. Growing up in such a hostile environment, my gut has never been wrong. But Chasen is with them. He won’t let anything happen to me.
“Yep, best head I’ve had, I’m telling you,” Chasen adds, looking up at the sky like my mouth is God’s gift to Earth. A menacing smile stretches across his face. Did he always smile like that? Am I just now noticing it? Shame fills the pit of my stomach.
My eyes widen and my mouth parts to allow my harsh breathing to escape. My brows furrow in confusion as to why he would say such a personal thing to his friends. Trusting my gut, I turn on my heel, ready to run back to my apartment, but a rock-hard hand grasps my upper arm and stops me, pulling me back with force. Looking over my shoulder, I see a smiling buzz-cut glowering at me. I tear my arm from his hold, tripping over my high heels, and glare at him.
“So, Chasen said he can’t get you to go all the way with him. How much more do we gotta pay to get between those legs?” Buzz-cut asks, reaching out and sliding his hand up my dress uninvited.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” I raise my fist back in a threatening manner, ready to fight my way through three men if I have to. But if they look closely, they could see my fist shake with fear. I can’t help the wave of vulnerability and hurt coursing through me. I’m confused. Why would Chasen tell his friends that, and why do his friends think I would sleep with them?
“Fuck, she ain’t wearing any panties,” Buzz-cut laughs, looking back at Chasen and the other guys, his eyes hard with determination. My cheeks flush with humiliation as I look at Chasen with rage. Why in the fuck isn’t he coming to my defense? He should punch his friend for touching me. SOMETHING. But Chasen just nods, his eyes looking at me with an animalistic flare. He’s clearly not the guy I thought he was. He isn’t going to protect me at all. In fact, he’s throwing me to his frat buddies like I’m fresh meat.
“Is this what you were talking about when you said you had something for me, Chasen?” I scowl and point at his two dipshit friends. “’Cause if it was, all three of you can fuck off!” My voice echoes down the street.
“Come on, baby,” Spiked hair coos, strutting forward and slapping my ass, hard. My backside burns from the unsought connection, the sting racing up my spine.
“Stop it!” I scream, jerking away from him. My voice echoes up the street, but nobody is around to hear my cries. My hands shake with anger, and my eyes well with unshed tears. My hands fist by my sides in fury. I want to deck every one of their asses. But looking at them, I’m starting to second-guess my impulse to take them on. They’re all built, probably working the weight room daily for football. My fight here is pointless. I’m fucked.
“Chasen, brother, get your whore in check,” Buzz scolds, pointing at me.
“I’m not a whore!” I seethe, tears spilling down my cheeks.
They all laugh, making me vibrate with rage and choke with emotion.
“I’m not,” I mutter angrily.
The feelings I had for Chasen were nothing but clueless emotions. Trying to live a teenage dream of love and lust. I thought Chasen was giving me money because he cared, but no.
“I’m pretty sure when someone pays you after they blow their load, that makes you a dirty whore,” Chasen chuckles, the sound vindictive. My body chills and my heart snaps in two. He was paying me for my sordid behavior. I close my eyes, my mind telling me I knew exactly why he was giving me the money. Oh, my God, I have been a whore. And the worst part? I enjoyed it. The dirty journeys behind tractors and in alleyways, and I got paid every time. And I liked it all. Being in control and having the comfort from a man was a high I enjoyed.
I’m. A. Whore.
I shake my head, not believing such a notion.
“No, I am Chasen’s girlfriend,” I defend, tears rolling over my lips. Just saying the word ‘girlfriend’ comes out feeling wrong.
“Chasen has a girlfriend.” Buzz-cut laughs, making my head snap in Chasen’s direction.
“What?” I whisper in disbelief.
“True.” Chasen shrugs. “What – you thought I would be with the likes of you?” He chuckles, staring at me with a raised brow. I look down at myself, my second-hand dress and stolen shoes making me feel like trash.
“Your dad would kill you.” Spiked hair bellows with laughter, catching my attention. I shake my head again, not wanting to believe what I’m hearing. My chest feels shallow from the self-respect being ripped out of my chest.
“I came to you because my girlfriend won’t put out. She’s saving herself for marriage, and girls around here like to blab,” Chasen remarks, tucking a bit of hair behind my ear. I shove him in the chest, completely and utterly pissed-off.
“Fuck you! Don’t touch me!” I shriek. How could I make myself believe this was anything more than being used by Chasen? I’m so stupid.
“You used me,” I seethe, my jaw clenched with anger. Chasen gives a weak attempt at a laugh and cups the back of my head harshly, pulling me forward. He rests his forehead against mine, looking me right in the eye. I try to resist his hold, but he clenches his hand in my hair, making me wince.