by Clarissa Yip
“You gave up your money to help him open his practice?” Kane’s voice rose in disbelief.
She winced.
“Yes. He needed…the money. And I chose to take out a loan for my own business.” She heard her own words—how pathetic they sounded. She’d been naive and overly eager to please Daniel at every turn. Once, she’d believed that as long as she gave her husband whatever he wanted, he would never hurt her or leave her. He’d only used her throughout their marriage. And she’d allowed it to happen. Deep down, she’d known for a while before his affairs had surfaced, and she hadn’t really cared as long as he returned to her each night. Refusing to see Kane’s disappointed expression, she started to draw away when his arms wrapped around her and tugged her onto his lap.
“Do you regret it?”
Lauren sat stiffly. He tightened his hold. “Giving him the money? Or putting myself in debt because of him?”
“Both.”
She thought long and hard. Her business was her pride, the only thing that had never failed her, the only thing she had left. “No. I wouldn’t trade my store for anything.”
“What about your husband? Did you regret marrying him?”
Lauren frowned. “Did you regret leaving town?” Leaving me?
His eyes roamed her face, darkening. Her breath caught. His hand lifted, knuckles brushing along her jawline. “Yes.”
He leaned in and his lips brushed hers. Shocked for the barest second, she allowed herself to relax and just focus on the moment. Sliding her hands to his nape, she deepened the kiss. The taste of coffee teased her taste buds. Her fingers slid into his hair. She let out a moan as his palm covered her breast. Warmth surged through her. It’d been so long since she’d been touched, loved. He shifted her on his lap, pulling her closer. Hardness pressed against her hip. She tugged at the buttons of his shirt. Every vow she’d made to stay away from Kane evaporated.
She needed him. Now.
“Lauren,” he murmured. His mouth moved along her cheek to her ear. She pushed him back against the cushions, adjusting her legs so she straddled him. Desire like none other gave her confidence. Her body came alive. A fire burned in her core. She covered his lips with her own, wanting more of him. Any reservations she’d had before his return died a sudden death. She didn’t care. All she could focus on was him. Kane.
His hands moved up her thighs, inching her skirt up and closing around her bottom. She rocked against his erection. The motion fueled the need in her. She kissed him harder. Kane groaned, rubbing against her erect nipples. She jerked his shirt from his pants, needing to feel his skin. She worked at his zipper, her knuckles grazing his shaft through the cotton. His fingers slid up her rib cage and closed around her breasts. She whimpered at the feel of his thumbs circling the taut buds. Sensations shot to her center and an aching emptiness gripped her—one that only Kane could fill.
“Oh my God!”
Kane threw her off, his hand reaching into his jacket, and he became alert, standing and moving into what she assumed was his cop pose—knees bent, legs spread apart, and eyes sharp. Lauren shook her head to clear the cobwebs, immediately noticing her assistant standing at the door with her palm covering her mouth and one hand gripping the pearls at her neck. She shot up off the couch and tugged at her skirt, her cheeks heating up.
Lauren gulped. “Kerry.”
Flustered, Kerry turned to leave. “I’m sorry.”
Kane fixed his shirt, tucking it back into his pants, and adjusted his tie. He then sat back down on the couch without a word. Inwardly berating herself for her actions when it came to this man, Lauren crossed her arms over her chest, hoping she appeared calm and collected even though her insides shook. She couldn’t believe what she’d done once again. “Did you need something?”
Kerry paused, staring out into the hall. Her hand fell from her necklace. “I just came in to tell you that Trina needs you to cash out the drawer so we can close up.”
“I’ll be down soon.”
Her assistant nodded and quickly walked off. Lauren ran her fingers over her hair and glanced at Kane. Amusement lit his eyes. Irritation wormed through her. “What?”
He stood up. “You still blush pretty.”
She tried to give him a glare, but it didn’t happen. The corners of her mouth twitched with mirth. With a flick of her hair over her shoulder, she started to the door. “And your fly is still undone, Detective.”
…
Lauren gave the main floor one more sweep before she turned the alarm on and let herself out of the building. Locking the outer doors, she headed to the parking lot. After the embarrassing incident with Kane, he’d left before his sister had changed out of her gown and his mother could be found. Maria had sat in the ladies’ room to recompose herself, and Lauren hadn’t known what to say when she’d appeared. She didn’t want to upset the woman any more than she was and had just pretended that she hadn’t known anything, even though the ache in her heart worsened.
It was the same feeling she’d encountered when she and Kane used to be together, when she’d seen his awkward interactions with his family, but this time it ate at her more with what she’d witnessed.
She needed answers, so she’d done the only thing she could think of. Find out what happened to Kane’s sister. The internet came up with old articles. The incident had occurred when she was way too young to remember, so she had no recollection even though the news had been painted all over town. She’d taken in every word and her heart convulsed with pain at what Kane had gone through.
He’d been there when his sister was killed.
After reading everything she could, she’d broken down in tears for their loss. But she didn’t understand why he continued to push his mother away. Was he mad at her for the past? Angry that Maria had married again?
Deep in thought, she didn’t hear Kane until he made a tsking sound. “Haven’t I taught you never to walk alone at night?”
Her head shot up and she jumped, her fingers tightening around the handle of her briefcase. With a hand to her chest, she glared at him. He stood leaning against her car door. His own sedan was parked next to hers. “What are you doing here? I thought you left.”
Kane grinned and pushed himself off the car. “Waiting for you.”
She looked around. Darkness wrapped around them. The lamppost barely lit the area, but the moon overhead gave the space enough light for her to see. Not one other vehicle in sight. The quietness sent a shiver down her spine. “Why?”
He closed the distance between them. “Have you forgotten a killer is after you?”
Like she could forget such a thing. Not that she needed him to remind her, either. The truth was still hard to take in, even though she wanted nothing more than to just pretend life was peachy and well. “How can I, with you reminding me every time I see you?”
He frowned and took her briefcase out of her hands along with her keys. Pressing the key fob, he unlocked her door and opened it, then set her case in the passenger seat before holding out his arm, motioning for her to get in. “I’ll follow you home.”
She licked her lips. They still tingled slightly from their encounter in the fitting room. Her whole body ached with yearning, but she wrapped her arms around her stomach and took a step back. She couldn’t let anything happen between them again. It was too late if Kane thought they could pick up where they had left off. She’d changed, but he hadn’t. “I think I can get myself home.”
“Don’t argue with me. It’ll make me feel better to see you home myself. The door is fixed, right?” he asked, urging her into the driver’s seat.
“Yes.” She almost groaned out loud when she thought of the upstairs bedroom door. The gaping hole still existed, and there was no way she’d take the wooden panel down tonight. She’d thought about staying at the hotel again, but for how long? It was her home, her haven, and everything she had left from her parents. “I’ll be fine.”
“I know. You’re a fighter, I have no doubt.” Ka
ne grabbed the seat belt and leaned over to buckle her in. Her breath caught at the feel of his chest brushing against hers. Through her thin jacket, she felt the touch down to her toes. He smiled, then pressed a kiss to her forehead before trailing his lips over her nose to her mouth. “You don’t need a man to take care of you or for anyone to keep you safe or believe that someone would do you any harm.”
The teasing in his voice shouldn’t have bothered her, but his words struck a nerve. He saw too much. She didn’t like that. She drew back into her seat, away from his touch. “That’s right. I don’t need anyone, just as you would never settle in one place or forgive your mother.”
Kane froze, then stood up. “I’ll follow behind you to your house.” He slammed the door shut and circled her car to his.
Remorse bit her. As much as she wanted to find out what he was hiding, she couldn’t stop her hurt from speaking at times.
But then again, if he had never come back, she might have never been in this predicament. It was always easier to blame him…right?
…
Kane gripped the steering wheel, following behind Lauren as she maneuvered her car onto the state highway. His mother and sister’s appearance at the store had been unexpected. His mind had been on the case and he hadn’t noticed them until after he’d acknowledged Lauren. The scene with his mother shouldn’t have occurred. He’d been careful to avoid her and give her only as much of himself as he’d allow, but it wasn’t enough. His mother’s words rang through his mind continuously like a broken record. I want my son.
How could he tell her that her son died the day Lily died?
He knew it was going to be hard coming back here, but his gut—and his guilt—had told him to. After his last case, he’d been shot chasing a crook down a stairwell—the bullet had grazed his arm. The spot tingled as he reminisced. The city had been exciting, but his heart lay in this very town…with Lily. It felt wrong to be away from her grave and not visit her like he used to.
Glancing in his rearview mirror, he made sure nothing looked suspicious. Traffic seemed a bit heavy for this time of the night, but he focused on Lauren’s car in front of him. He drew in a ragged sigh and turned down the exit ramp, pausing at a stoplight behind Lauren. Flashes of the scene in the fitting room ran though his mind. The feel of her, the small whimpers from her lips when he kissed her or rubbed her breasts, her response to his touch—he still wanted her. That hadn’t changed any. If he knew what was good for him, he’d stay the hell away from her and pretend she didn’t exist. She didn’t need him back in her life, but this wasn’t the same woman he’d left behind, and he hated it—hated that she wasn’t open, happy, and finding pleasure in the littlest of things. But more importantly, someone wanted her dead.
That, he couldn’t allow.
It’d been so hard to walk away all those years ago. How was he going to do so this time? He couldn’t let her near. He’d seen glimpses of the old Lauren when she’d stood between him and his mother and brazenly announced that he was attending the wedding. The old Lauren would try to fix everything so everyone was happy, just as she’d done before she’d grabbed his stepsister’s hand and dragged her out of the room. He laughed to himself as he recalled afterward. Watching her face her assistant had been entertaining. Her cheeks had reddened to berries and her composure was awkward, yet endearing. He’d wanted to wrap his arms around her and continue what they had going before they were rudely interrupted, but maybe it was a good thing it happened. Otherwise, he’d have to face the consequences and the need to hurt Lauren once again. And he didn’t want to do that. He didn’t deserve her. Probably never would.
His inner demons would only destroy the both of them.
Besides, Lauren wouldn’t understand him. His sister should have been the one to survive, the one to live a full life, get married, and have kids of her own. But no. He’d been too weak to protect her.
Someone would call it survivor’s guilt. He called it reality.
He swallowed the lump in his throat. He was messed up and he had no qualms about admitting it, but hearing Lauren telling him that last bit about forgiving his mother struck a nerve. From her perspective, he could see that she thought he was just a selfish bastard who wanted to be alone, who didn’t give a crap about anyone around him. It wasn’t like that, though.
The pain he’d lived with over the years had been his strength as memories of Lily kept him motivated in putting assholes like his father in their rightful place. If he let his guard down, then what would he have left? He owed it to his sister’s memory to stay focused.
Finally pulling his car into Lauren’s driveway, he turned off his engine and got out. Striding to Lauren’s door, he drew it open. She threw him a glance before reaching across her seat to get her briefcase. His gaze trailed over her slim legs to the high heels on her feet. The old Lauren had never dressed this sexy. Used to seeing her in jeans and hoodies, he’d been surprised the first time he’d arrived at the store to see her in professional attire. It turned him on even more.
Once Lauren straightened from the car, she walked up the walkway without a word and he followed.
“Wait,” he said, when she went to unlock the door. He held out his hand. Lauren opened her mouth as if to argue with him, but she clamped it shut. He took her keys and gently pushed her behind him. He reached into his coat and settled his palm over the butt of his gun.
“You think the killer would come back again?” she asked in a whispered voice.
Kane frowned. The questioning with Peters hadn’t gone as planned. The man had frozen in shock once the pictures of the victims were laid out in front of him. His gut told him Peters was innocent, but all facts seemed to point to the man. He would have been glad to close the case and put the suspect behind bars if Peters hadn’t announced that the victims were Burke’s patients, not his, and that he was in love with Lauren so no way he’d hurt her. His last statement had irked Kane more than anything.
Images of them together had tortured him for hours, and he drove straight to the bridal store right after. Was there something going on between the two? Part of him didn’t want to know; the other wanted to rip the man to shreds for even looking at Lauren.
He asked the one thing that came to mind as he carefully inserted the key into the lock. “How come you haven’t started dating again since you’ve been separated from your husband?”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Is this the cop asking or you asking?”
He ran his tongue over his bottom lip as if it’d gone dry. He could lie and say it pertained to the case, but truthfully, he wanted to know. Was she involved with Peters? The idea was absurd, but then if she was, it would complicate the situation even more. “Both.”
“I don’t have time to date. Didn’t you have me checked out and stuff? I don’t do anything but work.”
“Is there something going on with you and Peters?”
Lauren gasped. He spotted the disbelief in her expression. Even though the porch light was dim, the displeased purse of her lips was apparent. “No. Gabe is…a friend.”
Relief speared through him. He shouldn’t feel this way, but he couldn’t help it. Gently pushing the door open, he reached in and flicked the light switch on the sidewall of the foyer. The white glow dived its way into every dark corner. Circling his gaze around his surroundings, he didn’t see anything out of place. He relaxed and turned to face her. “If there’s nothing going on with Peters, then why did he tell us that he’s in love with you?”
Her mouth parted in shock. An awkward flicker of her eyes told him she knew more than she wanted to admit. She glared at him instead. “He’s Daniel’s partner. There’s nothing going on and I don’t know where you got that idea. We’ve been friends for years.”
Kane frowned. “I don’t think he feels the same toward you—as a friend.”
Lauren flushed as she set her briefcase and purse down on the floor and shut the door. “Daniel and Gabe went through med school together, and he was our wit
ness at the wedding.”
“Witness?”
She shrugged. “We got married in front of the justice of the peace.”
Studying her, he moved toward her. A sadness swept over him. Lauren used to talk about her dream wedding, hinting to him what she wanted if she ever got married, and hoping he’d change his mind on the subject. He hadn’t planned on settling down and never would. He’d even seen the big binder of wedding ideas that she and her mother had put together before her mother had been killed. He lifted his hand and cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. “What happened?” he asked softly.
She tensed, her eyes darting around him. Kane felt her emotional walls go up once again. Drawing a deep breath, she took a step back. “Life happened. Thank you for seeing me home. You can go now.” With that she moved around him and started up the stairs.
Kane closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Part of him wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t transferred to the city; the other part knew for sure that he’d done the right thing by walking away. But then why did his guilt feel like it had escalated since he returned? Digging his keys out of his pockets, he started to leave. A scream tore through the silence of the house. He whipped around and raced up the stairs. His heart pounded faster with each stride as he closed the distance to Lauren, his Beretta in hand. She stood shell-shocked at the bedroom entrance, staring into the brightly lit room. Pushing her behind him, he quickly followed her gaze and froze.
Across her white bedspread, a black cat lay mutilated in a pool of red. Blood was splattered everywhere across the carpet and bedsheets, but what drew his immediate attention were the big drippy letters painted on the wall: Slut.
Life just got even more complicated.
Chapter Nine
Lauren sat in the living room while groups of uniformed officers, guys in lab coats, and a few other detectives arrived on the scene. Curling her fingers around the warm cup of tea in her hands, she shook, trying to stay calm. It wasn’t easy.