“Mallory is going to take you home,” he offers after a few quiet minutes.
Mallory is walking around the room like she is an investigator looking at each detail, her head shaking, tears falling down her cheek. At the sound of her name she looks up and walks to me wiping her cheeks.
“Okay.”
I walk to him and wrap my arms around him. His hands never once move from his side he just stands looking out the window. I take a shaky breath and let go of him and follow Mallory out the door. I feel like the girl he was talking to the first night I came to the clubhouse. Like I have been dismissed without a second glance – like one of his play toys.
I climb in Mallory’s car and watch the trees as we drive. I have nothing to say, I don’t know where to start but the silence is deafening. After a long quiet drive, Mallory pulls up at my house. I climb out of the car and slam the door behind me.
My mom has had my cat since I left. I didn’t want to take her to the clubhouse so I am greeted with more silence as I walk in the door. I go straight to the bathroom and take my clothes off throwing them in the garbage. I step into the water and wash off holding back the tears. My dad’s words play over and over in my head. Once I am dried and dressed, I curl up in my bed and close my eyes begging sleep to take me.
Chapter Twelve
I wake the next morning to pounding on the door. I slide out of my bed and slam the door open. Boog is standing on the other side with my bags in his hand and it feels like my heart has just shattered. I step back and motion for him to walk in. He walks into the living room and sets my bags by the couch. I watch as he looks around the room and then back to me.
“Thanks.” I point towards the bags on the floor.
“I have to go out of town for a while, club thing.”
I nod my head and walk to the kitchen and start coffee. I know what conversation is coming. I don’t want to hear it. I want to grab his shirt and beg him to look at me the way he did the day before.
“What’s going on here, Boog?”
“You have had the shit beat out of you and been kidnapped and almost burnt alive in the month that we have been together, Brittney. You don’t need to be in the middle of all of this. You are too young and too beautiful. You have so much more ahead of you. What you have been through is just the beginning, it gets worse the deeper you get and it changes you. I can’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you.”
“You told me you wouldn’t walk away from me again, Boog. You said I was yours. You promised me you would always be here! Despite the danger and the craziness I want you! I want to be yours,” I plead to him.
He walks towards me and kisses my cheek and walks out the door. No wink from the door, no arrogant smile. Just a kiss and he’s done talking. I throw the coffee cup I was holding across the room and watch as it shatters against the wall – coffee and glass falls all over the place. I slide to the floor and let the tears I had been trying so hard to hold in the night before fall down my face.
I am angry and hurt. The one person I ignored all warnings about and let myself get close to just walked out the door like I was nothing more than one of his girls he sleeps with and just walks away from. I stand from the floor and walk past the glass and coffee and throw on some clothes.
The fact that I answered the door with no clothes on and got no reaction from Boog sends a new shock of pain through my body. I shake off the feelings and put on a little makeup to cover my tear-stained face and pull my hair up. I feel like Mallory and her many ways of being able to tell a mood just by what she is wearing that day.
I leave my house and head to work. I pull into the parking lot with no motorcycle following me and I enter the building. My dad is at his desk not bothering to look up when I walk in and I know that he is still mad. When I get to my office an officer quickly stands and walks out of the room.
For once it feels good to dive into the boring day of work and not think about what is going on outside the doors. The day goes by slow and I check my phone many times, each second feeling like an hour. I’m glad I don’t have time to think with the calls flooding in and the paperwork a mile high. But I also want to be at home in my bed with the covers over my head.
Mallory walks in at lunch and slides me a plate of food. It smells amazing but I slide it back across the desk to her and shake my head when she tries to talk. I don’t want to talk today I just want to do my work and go home.
The phone rings and I answer the call hoping no one lost a cat.
“911 what is your emergency?”
“I, uh, just rode by a house and it is engulfed in flames. You can see it from the road,” a woman yells into the phone.
“Okay, ma’am, can you tell me where you are?”
“Off Zinger road the dead end. It’s the old run down house in the woods.” My heart starts to race as I put in the information for the call and recognize the place she is talking about. It is the house I was just in the day before when I was tied to a chair.
That could have been me in that fire. Boog and the guys put most of it out, how did it start back?
“Ma’am, can you tell me if there is anyone inside the home?”
“No, ma’am, please hurry!”
“There is an officer on the way as well as the fire department, ma’am. They will be there soon. Would you like to stay on the line until they arrive?”
“No I am fine. I just sold the house about a month ago and was coming to give the new owner the paperwork.”
“Stay away from the house, ma’am.”
“Oh I am.”
She hangs up the phone and I look to Mallory. She is doing everything she can not to look at me, and I have the feeling that she knows what is going on. I shake my head and let the thoughts fall away. I am not made for that life. It is not my concern I chant to myself over and over in my head.
The rest of the day is the same as normal and soon it’s my time to go home. I hand Mallory the headset and stand from the chair.
“Britt, you haven’t said shit to me all day.”
“I have nothing to say, Mallory.”
I leave my office, go past my dad’s desk and head out the door. After being taken from the parking lot of the one place I would have thought I was safe, I take the time to look around me and make sure that no one is following me. I walk to my car as fast as I can and shut and lock the door behind me. I am out of breath as I look around the lot. No one is watching me – no one is in the lot.
***
I pull into my mom’s driveway and knock on the door.
“Hey, baby, glad you're home,” she answers the door and wraps me up in a bear hug.
“Good to be home, Mom. Where’s Rose?”
“I took her back to your house and cleaned up the broken glass. Anything you need to talk about?”
I gave my mom a key after I moved in so she could just keep a check on things and Rose when I wasn’t at home. To say that she takes advantage of it from time to time would be an understatement.
“No, Mom, thank you for watching her for me and for cleaning up the mess. I was going to do it but I was running late.”
“Why don’t you have supper with us tonight?”
“Mom, I am tired. I just want to go home and relax. I have lunch that Mallory brought today.”
She smiles that Mom knowing smile and hugs me. It feels good to hug my mom and know that no matter what she is there for me regardless of what decisions I make.
Walking back to my car, I wave to my mom as she stands at her door. As soon as I walk in the door, Rose is on the back of the couch begging for my attention. I rub her back and smile as she starts to purr. When I enter the kitchen, I notice my mom has put out Rose’s food and water and did indeed clean the glass and coffee off the floor. I put the food Mallory brought in the refrigerator and go back to the couch and lay down. After being at Boog’s place for so long being in mine almost feels alien like I don’t belong here. Rose climbs down from the back of the couch and curls up in
front of me.
I grab the cover off the back of the couch and curl around my cat and stare at the walls. I have always had my dad make decisions for me. He always had his voice in my head telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. He all but begged me to stay away from Boog and all I could do was look at him and tell myself that all his warnings are wrong. Even the voice in my head had to be wrong.
Not only were they right but they were right for the reasons other than they think they were. It wasn’t the danger that bothered me, it was the not knowing things that I should know. Boog, not me, made the decision for me that I wasn’t made for his life. That hurts more than him lying to me. I feel like being kidnapped and beat up is partially my fault like I failed a test I didn’t even know I was taking. In his eyes, it might be him taking care of me but all I can feel is the pain of being in my own house again.
I watch the sun go down outside my window and soon the pain of hunger makes itself known. I decide to heat up the food Mallory brought and smile when I open the box. Sesame chicken and fried rice – great comfort food. I check my cell phone many times while I eat willing him to call and tell me he made a mistake. He needs me. I miss that arrogant smile that I used to hate and love all at the same time.
Once I am finished with the food I lay back down on the couch and fall asleep.
Chapter Thirteen
I feel like a teenager all over again when I sleep till noon the next day. When my high school boyfriend and I broke up I was lonely. However, the loneliness I felt then is nothing like what I am feeling now. I throw the covers over my head and will the sunlight away.
I sit up and lay the covers over the back of the couch. I make my coffee and sit at the table staring out the window as I drink it. My cell phone rings and I look down with shaky hands letting go of a breath I didn’t know I was holding when I see Mallory’s face smiling up at me.
“Hello?”
“Open your door, Britt.”
I roll my eyes and open the door watching as she walks in and goes straight to the kitchen.
“Coffee for lunch?”
“I just woke up.”
“Well, what are your plans for the day?”
Her chipper attitude just pisses me off more and I take a sip of my coffee to keep from saying so. It’s not her fault what is going on.
“What I am doing now.”
She sits back in the chair and watches me for a short while.
“Mind if I hang with you today?”
“Mallory, I don’t want to be around anyone.”
“Listen you don’t have to talk okay. I just want to be your friend and be there for you. We can eat bad pizza and watch horror movies.”
“Bad pizza?” I ask and scrunch up my nose.
“Oh come on name one place in town that has amazing pizza.”
I can’t help but laugh then.
“Fine I will give you that. Order the pizza I will see what movies are on.”
She squeals and jumps up from the chair. I shake my head and walk to the living room while Mallory orders the pizza. I don’t want to hang out but she is not going to go away so I might as well make the best of if while she is here.
“Mallory, you okay in there?” I ask after a few quiet seconds.
“Yeah.”
She comes in the living room and flops on the couch propping her feet up on the coffee table in front of her.
“Well, did you find anything?”
“Yeah how about an oldie?” I ask and motion to the TV.
Someone knocks on the door and she jumps up running to the door.
“Sounds good,” she yells.
The pizza smells amazing as she walks back in the living room and sits it down. We dig in and spend the rest of the day laughing at the movies as girls scream and run upstairs to hide from the killer. It feels good to laugh and not think about what happened with Boog. I am not the type to run to him and beg him to take me back but the thought has crossed my mind a few times.
Mallory says nothing about him or Andrew and I don’t ask any questions. I lean back into the couch and look at the TV the images not really meaning anything.
“Britt!” Mallory yells.
I jump at her voice and when I look at her she is shaking her head.
“You okay?”
“I am fine.”
“I yelled at you a few times.”
“Sorry guess I was in my own head.”
She smiles a small smile and shakes her head.
“You know he has asked about you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You need to, Britt. I am your best friend and I feel like we are miles apart.”
“I thought you said we didn’t have to talk?”
“You know he asked me to come check on you?”
I feel the anger rise and I turn on the couch and face her.
“Is that the only reason you came, Mallory? If so, you can go now.”
She holds her hands up like she is showing me they are empty or she surrenders shaking her head.
“I am worried about you too, Britt.”
“I am fine okay? You can let him know the same thing.”
I stand from the couch and walk towards my bedroom with Mallory following closely behind me. I walk in my room and lay on the bed.
“I’m tired, Mallory, okay I will just talk to you tomorrow.”
She stands at the door and watches me for a few seconds before she shuts it behind her. I hear the front door shut not long after. I wrap the covers around me and stare at the wall. The anger only grows the longer I sit here and before long that is all I can feel.
After all of the warnings and all of the begging I still wanted to dive head first into his world and he pushes me away deciding that I am not made for him. Then he sends her to check on me like that is going to make everything okay.
As soon as I close my eyes pounding on the door starts. I throw the covers over my head and soon my phone is ringing. I sit up and grab my phone throwing it across the room. The ringing stops but the pounding on the door doesn’t. I ball the covers up and throw them on the floor. I walk to my front door and throw it open causing it to hit the wall behind it.
“Shit, Britt! What the hell?”
“What do you want, Mallory?”
“Andrew just called. We are on lockdown again and this time it’s serious!”
I look at her and her hands are shaking. I can see it just by standing in front of her. My heart starts to race and I go back to my room changing my clothes and throwing a few things in a bag. Since the last lockdown I left my bag at the bottom of my bed. I don’t want to go back to the clubhouse but from the look on her face I can tell that something big is going on and the last time I tried to ignore it I ended up hurt.
Once I have my bag packed, she runs down the stairs and I follow her. She jumps in her car and I throw my bag in the back seat and get in. She drives like I have never seen her drive before – flying through all the stop lights and stop signs she sees.
When we pull up at the clubhouse, she grabs her bag from the trunk. I grab mine and follow her inside. The lot is once again full, with more cars pulling in and parking. We walk inside and Andrew meets us at the door.
“Hey. Go put your bags upstairs.”
He looks to me and smiles, nodding his head. I can’t even muster a smile, I just roll my eyes and walk past him towards the stairs. I don’t want their sympathy. I just want to go in a room and shut the door. I walk towards the stairs and run into Boog. His arms wrap around me and I push against his chest pushing him away from me.
“Where are you going?”
“To find a room.”
“You don’t sleep up there, Brittney.”
I slam my fist against his chest and shove him against the wall.
“You know who sleeps up there? The ones who sleep with you and then get dismissed right? Isn’t that what happened to me, Boog? Huh? I fell in love with you just like half the other dumb bitc
hes in this fucking clubhouse and got dismissed! You made that choice for me remember? I am not made for this life isn’t that what you said? But yet as soon as there is a lockdown where am I? Right back in the one place I was told I didn’t belong! Only this time I am doing it without you!”
I walk past him and up the stairs. I walk to the room I stayed in before, slam the door and lock it behind me. I want to kick the wall and scream and throw things but instead I sit on the bed and throw the covers over my head, adding the pillows on top to drown out the knocking on the door and the noise from downstairs.
I hear the door open and grit my teeth as I feel the bed beside me move.
“Doesn’t a locked door mean shit around here?”
“Not in my house.”
“Fuck you, Camden.”
He stills at the sound of his name and then laughs. The sound of his voice so close only makes the tears I am trying to hide fall harder.
“You are the first person to call me that in years.”
“Get out.”
“Brittney, I am sorry. Seeing you passed out in that chair scared the fuck out of me.”
“Try being the one tied to it with the flames so close it feels like it’s melting your skin and yet I stayed. The one person I prayed to come help me walked out on me.”
“I don’t want you in all of this, Brittney. You are so much more than this.”
“It’s my fucking choice! I could walk away again and yet I haven’t! All of you keep deciding for me!”
He pulls the pillow and covers from my head and smiles his arrogant smile.
“You have no idea what you are walking into.”
“But I am walking with you. All the rest is a learn as you go and as long as you are by my side I didn’t care about the rest.”
“Even after what happened?”
“Even after.”
He shakes his head and leans in, his lips meeting mine and just the small touch of his lips pulls a moan from me and I feel like I am flying. I meant what I said anything else that I am supposed to be scared of is nothing compared to trying to go at it alone.
Destruction (Masters of Destruction Book 1) Page 7