by Bush, Holly
“Get your things, Julia. You’ve caused your mother considerable worry. And change clothes, for God’s sakes. You’ll not be getting on the train with us looking like a field hand,” her father said.
Jake started to laugh. “You people are amazing. Do you think you can waltz into my house and tell my wife to pack her things?”
“We’re saving you considerable embarrassment, Mr. Shelling. And you’ll certainly be compensated for your trouble,” Jane Crawford said and smiled. She turned to Julia. “Come along, Julia. This nonsense has gone on long enough.”
“What are you talking about? What embarrassment?” Flossie asked.
Jane Crawford looked Flossie up and down, and lingered long enough on her scar to cause Flossie’s cheeks to redden. “You don’t know Julia as well as we do. She needs care. Needs to be looked after and kept out of trouble.”
Julia was scared she was going to be sick to her stomach right there in the hallway. Her hands were shaking with embarrassment and her skin chilled. “I’m doing just fine, Mother. I’m staying here.”
William Crawford threw his hands up in the air. “Obviously you’re not doing fine, Julia. Look at yourself.”
* * *
Jake stepped in front of Flossie and Julia. He was intent on blocking the women from the poison being spilled in his own home. Julia looked as if she was going to crumble into a heap, and Flossie’s hand absently went to her cheek as she did for years after her accident.
“This is my home, my property, and that’s my wife and sister behind me. You’re Julia’s parents. If she wants to speak to you, I’ll allow it. But I won’t allow any more of your threats. No court in the land will side with you. She’s my wife. If you want to visit, fine. But no more upsetting either of them. Do you understand?”
William Crawford threw a quick glance to his wife and looked at Jake. “Why don’t you and I talk alone?”
“No,” Julia shouted.
One arched brow raised on Jane Crawford’s face. “It certainly is well within his rights as father to get to know the man you married, Julia. I’m sure he has nothing to hide.”
“We’ll sit in the kitchen. Together,” Jake said.
Flossie brewed coffee. Jane Crawford dusted her chair with a hanky before seating herself. Julia sat down across from her mother and Jake stood behind her.
“Julia’s been working on the harvest with me because all of our field hands were bought off with your Mr. Smith’s two hundred dollars. I don’t want my wife working in the sun, sweating and toiling, but I’m damn proud to say she did it anyway.”
Jake rested his hands on Julia’s shoulders. “She’s been aching to hear something of home, especially when Smith said he had no personal news. I imagine this is as good a time as any to get acquainted. You’ve met Flossie here. She’s married and has two children. She lives just south of here with her husband Harry. My other sister Gloria and her husband Will had their first child about a month ago. We might have lost Gloria if not for Julia’s help. Now what of Julia’s sisters?”
It pained Jake to no end to be civil. These were the very people that made Julia feel obligated to shuck corn. Sanctimonious, snobby city folk that they were sitting here at his kitchen table trying to make Julia uncomfortable. But they were her parents, come all the way from Boston.
William and Jane Crawford stared at Jake. “This is hardly a social call,” William Crawford said.
Jake’s hold on Julia’s shoulders tightened. “I can’t imagine what else it would be.”
“Mr. Snelling,” Jane Crawford began.
“Shelling.”
“Oh, yes, that’s right. There seems to have been a mix-up at the train station,” Jane replied as she stared at Julia. “From the letters Julia left, we were under the impression she was marrying a storekeeper she had corresponded with. We can’t imagine what mischief she’d gotten into to marry the wrong man,” Jane said as she trilled a laugh. “Your sisters found the report quite exceptional.”
Julia’s neck reddened, Jake saw, as he stared down at her. “Julia got into no mischief, Mrs. Crawford. The mistake was mine. Although now, I’m thankful I made the error. Now what of her sisters and her friend Eustace?”
Flossie smiled as she sat down. “And your grandson? Does he call you Nana?”
Jane Crawford stared daggers at Flossie. “William is his name. He is fine.”
“Eustace is the maid,” Julia’s father said. “We know nothing personal about her.”
* * *
“How are Jennifer and Jolene?” Julia asked.
Never had her family’s coldness been more evident. Nothing in her past until her marriage had given contrast to the life she’d led. These two finely-dressed strangers were sculptures of people. Not real life honest to goodness, living, breathing humans, faults and virtues tied together. Her new family, Jake’s family, meant more to her in two months than her own parents.
“Did Jillian start school?” she asked.
“She started a few weeks ago,” Jane Crawford said and stared at Julia. “I believe she may be having some trouble adjusting. She says she’s feeling quite abandoned.”
Julia’s lip began to tremble. She knew her mother had noticed. She had the look of smug self-righteousness Julia had seen so often. “No one has abandoned her. Surely it’s just nerves.”
“I don’t know, Julia. Jillian seemed adrift when we left her in her room.” Jane Crawford arched a brow. “She’s never been good at making friends. Little experience with girls her own age. But I believe this separation will do her good in the end.”
Julia had tried to explain to the girl she needed a life of her own. A home of her own. But what would a ten-year-old interpret Julia’s plans as other than abandonment. Jillian had begged Julia to marry a man in Boston so they would remain close. But Julia knew she needed to get far away. Away from her mother’s control and the constant reminders of her own failures. Poor Jillian would be adrift and lonely at boarding school. Much like Julia herself was. Her years at school remained firmly entrenched as some of the most miserable time of her life. Tears came to Julia’s eyes.
“Separation isn’t enlightening for everyone, Mother. Sometimes it’s sheer hell.”
“Your language, Julia,” her father chided. “We’ve raised you better than that.”
Jake cleared his throat. “Maybe Julia’s sister would like to spend Christmas or even next summer with us.” Julia touched Jake’s hand where it sat on her shoulder. “We’d be happy to have her.”
“Jillian Crawford has a duty to the family as do all my children. There is nothing to be learned here that will help her in that endeavor. And really, do you think I’d let her live in this, this,” Jane said with a sweep of her hand, “hovel?”
“I’m only thinking of my wife’s happiness. And I imagine we could keep Jillian fed and clothed will she visited. Even in this hovel,” Jake said.
“We’re not here to discuss Jillian. We’re here to take Julia home,” William Crawford said.
Julia shook her head to dismiss the heartache she was feeling for Jillian. “No. I’m not going. I’m married and happy. Go home and tell your friends whatever you will. I don’t really care.”
William Crawford eyed Jake and Flossie. “There are private matters we wish to discuss with our daughter. If you’d excuse us.”
Flossie raised a brow at Jake and left the kitchen. “There’s nothing for you to discuss that I’m not privy to. Julia’s my wife. I’m staying,” he said.
Jane Crawford smiled benignly. “Of course, Mr. Shelling.”
“No, Jake. I’ll be fine. Go on with Flossie. I’ll be there in a moment.”
Jake leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be in the sitting room if you need me.”
“How attentive your new husband is, Julia. Dare say, I’ll be telling your sisters you’ve bewitched him with your favors.”
Julia’s father stared at her as Jake left the room. “You do realize Jillian will be losing her in
heritance if you stay, Julia. Your mother and I will tend to her education, but she’ll be no heiress,” he said.
Julia fully anticipated this tactic from her parents. Her heart was racing when she replied what she only recently comprehended. “Money isn’t everything, Father. Jillian is beautiful and smart. She’ll need no inheritance to gain a man’s favor. And certainly, I’ll provide whatever assistance I can.”
“Surely you won’t be waiting for our will to be read, Julia,” Jane Crawford said. “One never knows if a parent has had a change of heart, possibly favoring a more . . . eligible recipient.”
“You would deny me my share?” Julia asked. “I’ve done everything my whole life for the good of the Crawford family. Until it’s broken my heart. And you deem me unworthy?”
William Crawford took Julia’s hand in his. “Now you know dear, Jolene feels it is highly irregular to split the family inheritance four ways. After all . . .”
Julia snatched her hand away. “I know, I know. I know all about Jolene’s feelings. They’ve been shoved down my throat for twenty-six years. Jillian is one matter, but you would write me out of your will because I married and moved away? That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it? I would think you’d be happy I’m gone. I’ve done nothing my whole life but embarrass you.”
“Don’t use that tone with us, Julia,” Jane Crawford said tightly. “Any embarrassment you’ve caused has been of your own design. Crawfords do not run away from home. Crawfords do not disregard their family name. Crawfords do not desert their family.”
Julia stood now, shaking with anger. “I am no longer a Crawford. My name is Shelling. Shellings, I’ve found, think more about the people they love than what everyone else thinks. And I didn’t run away from home. I ran away from you, Mother, and your constant belittlement. The Shelling name means more to me in two months than the Crawford name ever will.” Julia looked up to see Jake standing in the doorway. She hadn’t realized she’d been screaming. Julia was sure his intense gaze was the only thing keeping her on her feet.
Jane Crawford rose slowly, gathered her purse and lightly touched her husband’s arm. “Come along, William. Julia is burning bridges she may need in the future. Let her find out on her own what her folly will bring.”
“Why? Why do you care Julia is married and moved?” Jake asked. “You don’t want her in Boston.”
“My family is my life’s work, Mr. Shelling. I don’t expect or accept impertinence. Especially from one as misguided as Julia.” Jane Crawford tilted her head and smiled tightly. “Julia needs to remain at home. With us. She needs my guidance.”
William Crawford came around the table and stood in front of Julia. “Why would you run away from your mother, Julia? She’s only had your best interests at heart.”
Silent tears dripped from Julia’s chin. She looked up at her father. He gazed at her as if seeing a stranger.
“Oh, Father. You were at the office all the time. I don’t suppose you ever knew what was said and done. But it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I should have left years ago.” Julia dropped her head and looked back at her father’s face with a plea. “Tell Jillian I love her and miss her. Will you Father? Will you tell her?”
William Crawford tilted his head. “Yes, dear, of course, I’ll tell her.” He cupped Julia’s chin in his hand. “Are you happy, my dear?”
Julia smiled. “Yes, I’m very happy.” Her father turned and followed his wife out the door.
Julia could not face Jake or Flossie. She edged past them without a word or look, and ran to her room.
* * *
Jake climbed into bed with Julia that night and brushed the stray hairs from her face. She was exhausted. Dried tracks of tears marred her pale cheeks. She tossed and turned fitfully and Jake pulled her into his arms. She settled onto his shoulder with a sigh, and he held her tight, until her breathing evened and she slept peacefully. He could not.
Julia’s mother was a snake in the grass. Waiting patiently for her moment to strike and impose the most damage. Jake didn’t know what to make of her father. There was something going on that Jake didn’t understand. An air about the two women charged as if lightning had struck them. Jake kissed Julia’s forehead. She would tell him eventually, he was sure.
Jake was certain now that he loved this woman in his arms. Julia had surprised him and probably herself since their marriage. She had charmed his sisters, was beloved by his niece and nephew, and would have undying devotion from Will for saving Gloria. Harry said she was just what the doctor ordered for Jake.
Julia, although clearly a woman, Jake thought as he rubbed her arm, was as comfortable with Millie and Danny as she was with adults. Sometimes he felt out of his depths with his niece and nephew. Sometimes he ran out of patience with their questions. Julia encouraged the questions, the wonder, the pure vision of a child still unsullied by life’s woes. She played make-believe as if a stage actress. Yet she painted walls and shucked corn as an adult with the full weight of a person who knows her place, her responsibility and accepted them. He knew she was happy here. He was happy as hell. Jake couldn’t wait till Julia was pregnant. She would be a wonderful mother.
Chapter Eleven
The next morning, Jake tucked the blankets around Julia and kissed her forehead. Her eyes fluttered open. “You stay in bed as long as you want today, Julia. I mean it,” he said to her shaking head. “You had a tough day yesterday.”
“You’re too good to me, Jake. I’m sure Flossie never lies around in bed.”
Jake chuckled and snapped his suspenders. “That’s because Millie and Danny want their breakfast. Not that Harry would care.” He leaned down and kissed her lips. “You’ll have children to wake you at the crack of dawn soon enough.”
Julia smiled and blushed. “I hope so, Jake. I say a prayer every night that this night will be the one to give us a baby. I’m so sorry about my parents. I don’t know what to say. I could have died when my mother stared at Flossie’s scar.”
“A sickle came loose and the blade caught her cheek when she was about fourteen.” Jake took a deep breath. “She didn’t look in the mirror for a full year.”
“She could have been killed,” Julia said.
Jake nodded. “Yes, she could have been. I thank God every day we were lucky. But a young girl with a long angry scar across her cheek struggles as well. She never thought any man would look at her. But then Harry came along and well, I don’t even think he noticed, he was so head over heels in love with her.”
“Harry loves Flossie. Not her face or her money or land. He loves her.”
Jake sat down on the edge of the bed and picked up her hand. “There’s more to love than looks that’s for sure. When we first married, Julia, I was convinced you were wrong for me. That I could never love you.” He touched her cheek softly. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Julia Shelling. But that doesn’t have a damn thing to do with me loving you. I love you in spite of your pretty face, not because of it.”
Tears rolled from Julia’s eyes. “I love you so much, Jake. I can hardly tell you how much. I was so scared my first few weeks here. But when you said that night in the kitchen that my family had been wrong about Turner. That I wasn’t to blame. I think I knew then I would love you for the rest of my life.”
Jake raised her hand to his lips. To his shock he realized his hands were shaking. Admitting you loved someone was harder business than he’d expected. He had held his breath till Julia said she loved him, too. Jake knew then he’d move heaven and earth to make her happy. He stroked the side of her face.
“Your mother and you seem to be at odds about something, Julia. Something more than just you moving here.” Julia turned away and stared out the window. “Don’t say anything you’re not ready to. We’ll be together forever.”
“What if you don’t always love me? What if you change your mind? I don’t think I could stand it, Jake, knowing you didn’t love me,” Julia whispered.
Jake gat
hered her into his arms. What could this sweet woman possibly have done that would keep him from loving her?
“I’ll always love you, Julia.” He kissed the hair near her temple. “We’ll be mad and argue, I’m sure, but love’s forever. When you’re ready to talk, you let me know.”
Jake could not get Julia’s comments out of his head. They had both declared their love. It had been heartfelt and sincere. What would make her think he wouldn’t love her forever? He said he would. And as she should know by now, his word was gospel. Julia had a haunted look about her as he left her bed. About a terror she’d held inside for a long time. He knew she was no virgin when she came to his bed. She’d told him. What else would a woman like Julia have in her past that would make her tremble so? Jake shrugged off his misgivings and concentrated on patching the barn roof he’d started this morning. He whistled a tune. It was a beautiful fall day, and he was in love with his wife.
* * *
Julia’s days blended together. She helped Flossie make jelly and made baby clothes for her new nephew. And she fell deeper in love with her husband than she’d ever thought possible. Her letters to her family were never answered. With the crops in, Jake concentrated on getting the farm ready for winter. He came home every night for dinner, dirty, sweating and smiling. They made love more nights than not, and Julia reveled in his body and to her surprise, her own. Memories of feeling displaced and unloved faded. Julia didn’t allow herself to think often of Boston. It was too painful. And she knew full well, she’d been blessed when she began to correspond with Jacob Snelling. Oh, how she wished she were carrying Jake’s child. She knew he wanted a family.
“Do you think there’s something the matter with me, Flossie?” Julia asked her sister-in-law one day late in November. Flossie had brought the children over, and Julia was teaching them to speak French. The lesson was done for the day, and Millie and Danny had run outside.