Well, this was awkward.
When I didn't reply right away, her gaze sharpened on my face.
"Mia? You aren't considering it...correct?" she prodded, a hint of warning entering her tone at my lack of prompt answer.
I looked over at Ashur again and then back at Cinira.
"Actually...I am," I admitted quietly.
Dumbfounded was exactly the way I would describe her expression in that moment.
"That's…that's beyond ridiculous. Why would you even think to consider something so risky, so completely unnecessary?"
If I'd just heard this part, I would think the same, but context mattered in this case.
"It isn't something that I would have even thought twice about even just a few weeks ago," I returned. "I have no desire to rule or lead anyone."
"That's because you are no idiot," Cinira pointed out. "Leading is more work than it’s worth, let me tell you." She scanned my face. "Now I'm even more confused. Why aren't you refusing them straight off the bat? Directly?"
She didn't know what had been happening.
"I have to do something about Emberich," I explained. "He isn't leaving me alone. There have already been multiple attempts on my life. More than one were too close for comfort. I'm lucky to be standing, if I'm completely honest." I shook my head, anger at those previous attacks rising once again. "I don't think he intends to ever stop. And I have Omari to consider as well."
Cinira's face was grim as she heard this.
"He sent people into the city dome after you?" she clarified, her tone hard.
"Yes, he sent a team after me. And they tried multiple times to get me. All culminating in one of them strapping a bomb to himself and setting it off in my apartment." That one had been one of the closer ones. There was no coming back from being blown to bits. "So yeah—I'm pretty sure he's serious about this."
Cinira's nostrils flared, her own anger surging.
"That man is weak," she bit out. "Won't even do his own dirty work himself," she muttered to herself.
"So you understand the provocation," I interjected.
She shook her head, leaning forward, resting her hands on the desk as she met my eyes.
"I am a practical person, Mia. I am certain it is the reason why I am alive today. Now, in a perfect world, I would like to take my skein over to Emberich's gaudy palace and bring his head back on a spike so my people can throw garbage at it."
Well...okay. There was no doubt that she believed every word she just said.
"But?" I prodded, knowing that couldn't be the end of it.
She inclined her head before continuing.
"But," she continued. "I know that would be a suicide mission. Not only for myself, but for all of the people who depend upon me. Nothing would be accomplished in the end apart from more death, more destruction on our side. Do I want Emberich to pay for coming after you? Do I want him to pay for what he made of my daughter's life?" She spread her arms out. "Of course. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't fantasize about it." The veil over her eyes slipped little, and she let me see the anger and frustration living inside her, the pool of utter rage for what had happened to her daughter at Emberich's hands. Then she brought the calmness back up and over all of those dark emotions. "But I don't do anything to rock the boat. Because there is no reasonable action for me to take at this point in time. None that is worth the damage I would sustain, that we would sustain. So, that brings us to your problem now." Her gaze was level as she met my eyes with her calm ones. "You want to be safe, correct?"
I nodded.
"Yes."
That was essentially the heart of why I was considering this. Why I'd come here.
"That is an achievable goal," she said quietly. "You can stay in my territory, or you can stay in Ashur's territory. Never return to your city dome or any other. Either of us can keep you safe in our own cities, but nobody can keep you safe among the humans."
Frustration rose inside me at the list of restrictions.
She thought living like that was a better option?
"I thought you would understand," I said quietly. "I don't want to be dependent on everyone else's protection for the rest of my life. And neither you nor Ashur can guarantee my safety forever—don't say you can. And you couldn't guarantee Omari's safety either. As long as Emberich is out there, neither of us will truly be safe." I shook my head. "Not really."
Cinira's gaze was sympathetic but also resolute.
She wasn't letting my words get to her.
"I understand your frustration, my dear. I certainly do. You must understand that," she said in a pleading tone, her hands clasped together. "However, the truth of the matter is that this isn't really your decision to make." Not mine to make? She continued, shedding light on what she meant by that. "You would need the full force of all of the dragons’ skeins at your back to pull this off. Not a few of them, not half of them—all of them."
I frowned.
"How so?" I asked, not expecting this particular argument.
Cinira lowered her voice as she leaned in.
"Because if you don't, anyone with a penchant for power could simply wait for you to dethrone Emberich and then kill you directly afterwards. Allowing you to do all the dirty work and then swooping in at the end to take the throne. And that isn't even considering the fact that Emberich is many things, most of them bad. But he is not a complete imbecile. Nobody could be and hold onto power for this long." She shook her head, crossing her arms, her forefinger tapping on her arm. "No, he is not this ignorant. He would not allow a conspiracy to fester right under his nose, take root in his stronghold."
"If he wouldn't allow it, why is it happening?" I countered.
She shook her head, frowning as she continued tapping.
"He is most likely simply giving these conspirators enough rope to hang themselves with," she concluded, letting that sink in for a moment. "So he can kill them with impunity, and nobody will say a word about it. It's brilliant really—letting it grow draws out all the sympathizers. Then he kills them. Getting rid of the problem and sending a message at the same time." She smiled grimly. "It is efficient." Her smile faded, worry entering her eyes. "There will be a fight if you go down this path, Mia. I can guarantee it."
She stood up, deciding to bring the topic to a close.
"Now," she smiled at me. "Why don't you go out and enjoy my city for the rest of your stay? It really is one of a kind."
Chapter Four
We left Cinira's tower and walked out into the city with a discreet tail. Not that Lumena was trying particularly hard to hide as she lurked behind us. At least the crowd that was gathered around the square had dispersed by this point and we didn't have so many pairs of eyes staring at us anymore.
By mutual accord, Ashur and I turned into the first street that we came across, not wanting to be so conspicuous out in the wide-open square.
The streets were just as pretty as the view of the city from the ground would have predicted. The cobblestones were probably very old, and probably not very practical. But they did make for a very idyllic-appearing city street, which I could appreciate. The patina of age lay over both the buildings and the street, lending an air of magic to the place rather than one of wear. It was odd how some places just looked old as they aged while others appeared majestic instead.
The street that we chose turned out to be one with a long row of restaurants, small, wrought-iron tables and chairs set outside with strings of sparkling fairy lights for people to dine under. It wasn't dark yet, but it was starting to head towards sunset and the small lights were just flickering on. As we walked by, I took in the delicious scents that wafted out of the restaurants and looked around at the charming street.
It was just such a different feel from Ashur's city, which was beautiful in its own right, but it didn't have the same...hidden feel as this one did. Like there was a secret to be discovered around every corner.
"My city is newer," Ashur explained, almost like he'd read my
mind. "And it definitely has its advantages—it's built much more practically than this one." His eyes scanned the street. "But there's also something to be said about the impracticality of this."
That it was exactly. It was perfectly inefficient and impractical. After the conversation we just had with Cinira, I could do with something not so practical. I reached out and took Ashur's hand in mine.
"Thanks for letting me handle the conversation back there," I murmured, looking up at him. "I know you probably wanted to jump in at a couple of points."
"She was much more likely to listen to you than she was to listen to me," he said equably. "And I don't know if there was anything I could have said that you didn't. My interjecting would have just put her back up even more."
"Maybe," I sighed. "But apparently she isn't even really willing to listen to me."
Ashur squeezed my hand sympathetically.
"None of the things that she said are wrong," he said carefully. "But neither are any of the things you said. And I think you're right," he said, looking over at me. "I don't think either of us could guarantee your safety and Omari's for the rest of your lives. If Emberich really wanted to get to you, he would just wait for a moment when our guard was down."
"That's exactly what I'm afraid of," I agreed. "And I don't want to be constantly hovering over Omari, stifling him as he tries to grow into his own person. Smothering him because I'm afraid."
“Yeah,” Ashur said. “That’s no way to grow up.”
We turned out into another street, this one lined with clothing shops. There were quite a few that displayed flowy dresses like the ones Cinira seemed to favor. I wondered if that was why they were sold here.
Small, twinkling lights were strung across the tops of the buildings, forming a zigzagging net above us as we strolled down the street. The people walking past us might have given us a few looks, but nobody was less than polite. I saw more than a few of those dresses, but I also saw just as many slim skirts and jeans.
I stopped by a display showing off a pretty cream-colored dress with a bodice that was off the shoulder, the neckline forming a shallow vee.
"Very pretty," Ashur commented when he saw what I was looking at.
I gave him a side eye. "Do you want me to wear more dresses?" I asked, curious. "And by more dresses, I mean any dresses," I added wryly. I had maybe one dress in my actual closet, though a few more in my working wardrobe, but I didn't think those counted.
Ashur grinned. "I wouldn't be averse to a dress," he admitted. "But I'm more interested in what's underneath your clothes, so it doesn't really matter."
I snorted out a laugh. But quieted as I caught a glimpse of Lumena hovering in the background of our reflections in the storefront window.
Ashur saw where I was looking and sobered as well. He sighed.
"There is a way to get all of the Dragon Lords together to talk about this, but there is no guarantee they'll say anything different than what Cinira already did," he admitted. "More than likely, they'll say exactly what she said. Perhaps in even harsher terms."
He was right. I turned with him and continued down the street again. Cinira had a vested interest in protecting me. Not only because she cared, which I truly believe she did, but also because it would reflect badly on her if anything happened to me. And I knew she didn't want anything to happen in the first place. Not after losing my mother already.
"Yeah, I understand what she was saying about not being able to hold on to the power," I agreed. "Not that I would want to hold on to any power. But it would be irresponsible to create too much uncertainty for the phoenixes by taking out their leadership, as flawed as it is, without a good replacement that could also stabilize them."
"A power vacuum would not be a good thing," he agreed. "They can lead to even worse leadership. And if that happened, it wouldn't affect just the phoenix society either. It would affect everybody."
It was a sobering thought. We kept walking. Taking in the beautiful city. There was a lot to think about, but we could do that just as well taking in the sights as brooding in our rooms. I didn't see how we'd come up with a viable solution anyway. Seemed like the problem was other people and controlling anyone else wasn't possible.
We stopped at a cute little stall with delicious-smelling pastries. The older woman selling them smiled at us even after she noticed Lumena hovering behind us, her deeply lined face a little mischievous.
I liked her instantly.
"Don't worry, my dear," she whispered as she handed over the sweets. "People have long memories, but new memories will help heal those. They always do. Trust me—I've lived long enough to know." She winked at me.
I smiled back at her. "I really hope so," I returned. "Thank you."
"You just focus on having a good time with that tall hunk of dragon over there."
I heard Ashur stifle a laugh behind me.
"That's some good advice," I agreed gravely.
As I stepped back, she turned her attention to Lumena.
"I know you like my pastries too, Lumena," she called out. "Why don't you unbend enough to have one? Maybe it'll help sweeten your disposition."
Lumena's cheeks pinkened, but she walked over the stall meekly to accept one of the pastries. So there was a person under that hard exterior.
Hiding a smile, I took the sweets back over to where Ashur was waiting behind me, hooking my arm with his. I raised a pastry so he could take a bite and we continued walking down the street.
"It's good," he commented.
"Mmm," I agreed, taking a bite myself. Flaky and not too sweet. "Come on, my hunk of dragon," I teased. "There's still plenty of the city to see."
"I don't know if I agree with this sexist objectification of my form," he said haughtily. "I have a brain as well, you know," he added, mock offended.
"Is that so?" I said. "I'll remember that the next time you want me to wear that lace thing you got me."
"Did I say it was bad to objectify? I meant it was perfectly acceptable. Desired, even."
I laughed. We spent the rest of the time up until dinner walking through the city, ignoring the surreptitious glances we received. They didn't really feel malicious, more curious and uncertain, at least for the most part. I didn't pay it too much attention. There was nothing else that I could do about that or anything else in that moment. So I gave myself permission to at least see the sights.
It was the kind of city that you had to walk through and experience. Each street was a little jewel of its own, most of them separated into categories of various businesses. Like the street of restaurants and the street featuring clothing, there were also streets that had only jewelry, and some that had only tech. That street was particularly unusual to see because the surroundings felt so old-world while the technology on display in the windows was state of the art. The way they both collided made you look twice.
We saw a lot before Lumena finally came up to us and cleared her throat. We both turned to look at her questioningly.
"Cinira would appreciate your presence for dinner," she said quietly. "If you would just to follow me back, please."
At least she wasn't trying to hover in the background anymore.
"Of course," I murmured. "Lead the way."
The winding path back to the tower took a lot less time because we weren't stopping to look and enjoy everything in our path. We hadn't actually traveled that far at all.
Back at the tower, Lumena led us to another room on the first floor, one we hadn't seen before.
When we walked in, it was to see a long, formal dining table already set with all the requisite silverware, plates, and glasses. Well, more than the amount I was used to. It was a much more formal setting than my kitchen counter.
When it had existed.
Okay, now wasn't the time to dwell on the fact that it had literally been blown up.
Anyway.
I refocused on the room. The chandelier above glinted off the spotless glasses on the tabletop. The wallpaper
was patterned with vertical stripes in a shimmery gold and white. Again, it felt expensive but understated.
"I didn't know what you two would prefer to eat, so I had the chef stick to the basics," Cinira said as she rose from the head of the table with a smile.
"I'm sure it'll be fine," I said, smiling back as I sat down on one of the cream colored, upholstered chairs. Nice and cushy.
Ashur murmured his agreement.
As if on cue, people started coming in with food. I wondered if they had just been watching to see when our butts hit the chairs.
Cinira's basics ended up being steak, mashed potatoes, vegetables, pie—basically all of the comfort food that I could have asked for, which was good, because I needed comforting after that meeting with her. Ashur and I both dug in with relish, doing the food justice. It was amazing.
"So, how did you like my city?" Cinira asked as she ate with just as much gusto, though perhaps better table manners than mine.
"Oh, it's gorgeous..."
We spoke on only light topics while we ate, skirting around the major elephant in the room the entire time, which I was fine with. I didn't know if I would have been able to do that meal justice if we spoke about what had been wearing at the back of my mind all day. What had been at the forefront of my brain for weeks now. When we finished, Cinira pushed away from the table and stood up.
"Would you like to have coffee up on the roof?" she asked politely, looking over at both Ashur and me.
"That would be great," I agreed, looking over at Ashur for confirmation.
"I'm sure the view is wonderful," he agreed.
So we followed Cinira to an elevator that I hadn't noticed earlier. It was built to blend in, the doors under the staircase. It took us all the way to the top of the tower. The small space inside was a little crowded with Cinira, me, Ashur, and Lumena and Fogor. I didn't know how they managed to be unobtrusive in the elevator with us, but they did. It was quite impressive.
The elevator doors opened and we walked out onto the rooftop. I was immediately struck by the view. The stars spread out above us in all their glory while the city sprawled out underneath us and the darkness of the desert surrounding us. It was breathtaking.
Shifter Queen (Dragons & Phoenixes Book 3) Page 3