She slipped past me and walked away. The thought of her leaving me forever seeped into my chest, gripped my heart, and squeezed. I clenched my fists. Her small footsteps stopped again, but I didn’t turn around. I waited with eager anticipation for what she’d give me next, but all I heard was her soft sigh, then she was gone.
My shoulders sagged. What a fucking mess. The bearer of wrath wasn’t supposed to have a beautiful, teasing creature like her.
Maureen cackled loudly as Gwendolyn and Kitty strode out of the room.
August gripped the top of the chair and leaned over it laughing with her. “I thought Barron’s mark would be this sweet, loving person who would soothe his anger. Instead, we get this delicate-looking hellion that spikes his curse.” He pointed at me. “Look at his essence. What the fuck is going on with that?”
As Wrath, my essence was always expanding. Bunching in and out or rushing around me quickly. Sometimes, it was so overwhelming that a supernatural being only saw the red swirling pool of power circling me. I was just a body trapped within it. Or better yet, I was a vessel carrying a storm. My job was to keep it from unleashing.
At that moment, the angry cloud covered me.
“But normally when his essence gets like that, he’d already be a goner,” Maureen added. “Something’s changing.” I scowled as Maureen lost her playful demeanor and grew serious. “Barron, you better figure it out before whatever is simmering beneath the surface explodes.”
She didn’t have to say a word. I already fucking knew.
Chapter 14
Gwendolyn
I hadn’t felt that jumbled since meeting Helen and Harold. Dreamlike. Everything was new and strange.
That was my thought as my eyes slowly opened the following morning. I was in a huge room with oversized, cherrywood furniture. The massive bed had gold satin sheets and a matching canopy. It would have been nice if I hadn’t felt like I would slip off the bed all night.
I shouldn’t be here.
As I lay there, gripping the sheets tightly, I thought about what had happened. I had died, and I’d been a ghost. Then, Barron shoved me through a passage to Heaven, but the angels didn’t want me. I returned, but instead of a ghost I was a Reaper.
Poor Helen and Harold.
My stomach sank. Somehow, I had to see them.
Fate had decided that I was to be with Barron. Although being near him gave me peace, I was tied to a man who became a skeletal monster when angered. Even worse, that man didn’t want me around.
Despite accepting everything they had told me, reality was sinking in and I didn’t like it. The ache in my chest wasn’t pain. Instead, it was the pressure of being overwhelmed. It reminded me of that helpless feeling that came with being sick. Always an impossible situation with only one outcome.
No longer did I seek answers. It was enough to simply breathe against the crushing truth.
That was what pushed me out of bed.
When I met the Pattisons, it was kind of similar. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I had a nice family that asked and wanted to know my likes and dislikes. A family who made it seem like they loved me from day one. Was it real, a dream, or a lie? That was my thought process back then. Suddenly, I felt that way all over again.
Funny how easily I could accept everything if only Barron would be there beside me.
I wanted to go back to that moment. The rush I experienced when he came into my room. That second he promised to keep me before taking his words back once I died. I bent down and traced the lion tattoo on my ankle. A deep, intense ache joined the pressure on my chest.
Barron’s random visits felt like another lifetime even though my death just happened a day ago. Something about me was different. It was easier to face the unknown when I thought I’d have Barron beside me. Or maybe it was because I was dying and didn’t care that an otherworldly man claimed he would whisk me away with him. No, that wasn’t right. Everything would have been fine if my Reaper didn’t reject me. My death didn’t phase me as much as his rejection did.
It was okay. I’d be okay. I nodded at my rambling. My mind reset and processed my new reality.
He was still close by. That had to count for something. That gave me opportunities to go after what I wanted if I dared. I would learn to take care of myself, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want Barron. Thanks to being his soulmate or whatever, I had a body capable of pursuing him.
That made me smile.
Barron wanted to keep me safe. That much was clear.
I just couldn’t figure out why he no longer wanted more. Or did he take that one kiss and promise wrong? No. His intentions were like mine.
But I hated knowing that he didn’t want me there. I might not feel like I belonged at that very second in that bed, but I did anytime Barron was around.
Adapting to change was something I could do. Learning what I needed was necessary to thrive. Problem was, I still wanted to soar.
I wanted skates.
But I needed to find Barron and see Helen and Harold. What were they going through with me missing? What was the entire hospital doing? The demons kidnapped me before I could die naturally. I had to give the Pattisons some sort of closure.
I made my way downstairs to the kitchen, only getting lost twice before I found it. Knowing Kitty was cursed with the sin of gluttony, I assumed that was where to find her. I wasn’t disappointed. She was there, but so was another beautiful blonde. Like all of them, an essence occasionally stirred around her. It was something I randomly noticed around them, unlike Barron’s whose I could see all the time. Maybe he lacked the ability to hide it. That woman’s essence was white.
“You must be Gwendolyn.” The woman smiled. “Have some food.”
“This is our mom, Melanie,” Kitty informed me.
“Thanks,” I squeaked as I joined them.
She looks so young!
Suddenly, someone popped into the room like Barron frequently did in my hospital room. I spotted the newcomer. It is Barron; I thought at first until I took a better look at him. Although the resemblance in the face was strikingly similar, the man wasn’t as tall and something about him was gentler than my supposed lover. Besides, my pulse never sped up. Barron always delivered either fear or excitement when he was around.
“I’m heading to the human world,” the man said before dropping a kiss on Melanie’s lips.
That explained it. He must be Barron’s father. No wonder. I shook my head, looking away. I was ogling his dad. So weird and startling. His parents looked just as young as they did.
“Be careful,” Melanie whispered.
“Always,” he replied and then disappeared just as quickly as he came.
Another blonde—possibly a sibling—appeared right after he left. I jumped. Why didn’t those people use a door like normal people?
They aren’t normal, Gwendolyn.
If I could pop in and out of places like that, I’d probably do it all the time too.
“Is this her?” she asked softly, eyes crinkling in the corners as she glanced at me. Something about her seemed kind. She was a lot like Sebastian—open, cheerful, gentle. “Barron’s lover.”
“I’m not his lover,” I blurted. Yet, I thought sneakily.
“Not yet,” his mother added with a giddy hum in her voice.
My jaw dropped. She had that mischievous gleam in her eye. I knew she wasn’t actually up to anything, but by the tilt of her chin she knew something I didn’t.
My cheeks warmed. Geez. She reminded me of Helen. Every Sunday, my adopted mother would try to set me up with a boy from church. You need a good boy, she’d tell me. What she didn’t realize was most of those boys were no good once they left the building.
I didn’t think Helen would approve of matchmaking like Melanie did. Barron was older, never smiled, or laughed. Honestly, his brooding was sexy to me. I think it had to do with how he clenched his stubbled jaws. That wasn’t the reason I wanted to be around or with him, though. I just did.
<
br /> “This is our sister, Joy,” Kitty said. I glanced up to see Joy waving happily at me.
“Hi.” I waited a few seconds before I asked, “Is there a way you can get in touch with Barron for me? He said we’d go settle things in the human world.” My stomach churned just thinking about the turmoil my disappearance may have caused. “I can imagine they’re really worried about me.”
Melanie rested her hand on my shoulder. “We can help you if you’d like.”
I gave her a reluctant smile. I wanted Barron with me. He might try to avoid me at that moment, but I never doubted that he’d do the things he’d said. His words were always true. Even if they were harsh most of the time. I liked that about him. He didn’t give me smiles or false hope just because I was sick.
That give-no-lies-or-crap attitude of his was just what I liked.
“I’ve already taken care of it,” Barron’s deep, booming voice had me twisting around in my seat. When did he get there? Like always, he towered over me. His narrowed gaze, slanted brows, and stubborn jaw were the same as always.
“What do you mean?” I frowned.
“I erased their memories of you,” he replied coldly as if what he just said wouldn’t hurt someone’s feelings.
My heart dropped. How could he? Just like that? Even though that was my choice from the beginning, I didn’t expect it to be that way. “I thought you’d take me to see them first?”
“You didn’t want to see them,” he informed me.
His cold eyes told me nothing, but somehow I still understood it. No, I didn’t want to see the Pattisons’ sorrow. When they had cried around me, I hated it. I couldn’t imagine how they felt with me gone. Tears formed in my eyes. Swallowing down the emotions burning my throat, I fault the urge to blink. My eyes stung, and my vision blurred. God, it sucked! The Pattisons weren’t truly mine, but they were the only thing I’d ever had.
Not saying a word, I turned around in my seat and stared at my plate. My back heated as he stepped closer. The intense vibe that always clung to him was impossible to ignore.
Comforting. I found my Reaper overwhelming presence soothing.
“You want to see them now,” he stated after a minute passed.
Did I? Placing my elbows on the table, I lowered my face into my palms. Yes. I needed to see they were better off without me. That they weren’t heartbroken even if that meant hurting myself.
“Get Joy or someone to take you.”
“No—” It was too late for him to hear me.
The air changed behind me. It became less violent and more bearable. That was how I knew he was gone. Even with his detachment toward me, when his vicious essence disappeared along with him, I felt more alone than ever before.
I fisted my hands. If it was one thing I hated, it was to beg for someone’s affection. That was how Barron was making me feel.
Melanie sighed next to me. “He’s right. They don’t need the closure since they don’t remember you.”
Don’t remember me. The reality of those words had yet to sink in.
“But you need it. You need to see that their forgetting was easier than wondering where you went.” I knew that, but at the moment I didn’t want to hear someone saying it. “We don’t know yet,” she went on, “but you’re likely immortal like us now. You’ll never age or grow old. The simple fact is you couldn’t have gone back to them. Even if you did, it would have been for a short while.”
My new world was telling me it was time to move on. Barron erased the Pattisons memories of me just like that.
I would always be grateful, always remember them. They wouldn’t remember me though. That was my sentence. I was being punished for foolishly clinging to my need to soar. It was the only thing I sought. That made me an awful person.
I am cold, I thought, that’s why I was so drawn to someone colder.
Would it have killed me, for just a day, to have thought about what they were going through instead of myself? Couldn’t I have laid in that hospital bed patiently like they wanted and waited? Why was I so stubborn? Being desperate to soar was ridiculous.
There was no such thing.
Glancing at Melanie, I said, “When you’re finished eating, I’d like to see them one final time.”
______
It wasn’t as sad as I’d thought it would be. Joy, Kitty, and Melanie went with me to the Pattisons’ home. It was nighttime. We were standing in their kitchen, but neither of them could see us. Helen was doing a puzzle while Harold read next to her. Nothing was different. Except they weren’t in tears. There was no memory of me to mourn. I stood there so long that eventually their daughter called, and they were laughing and smiling away as they spoke to their grandkids.
Nothing was different.
It was okay.
It hurt a little, but I always hated the thought of what they’d be like when I finally died, and that… It wasn’t bad for them. It was honestly how it should have always been. Homes for me were always temporary, anyway. Since I was curious, I stumbled up the stairs to my room. It had nothing that belonged to me. None of my books, movies, my laptop, or my TV were there. It lacked me. It was just a spare room.
“When we do such a drastic memory swipe, we have to make sure all things are gone,” Melanie said walking up behind me.
I inhaled. “We can go now.”
“You okay?” Joy asked.
“I will be.”
And I would.
I always was.
Chapter 15
Barron
“Please,” squawked the boiled-flesh creature.
Funny how some evil beings begged for their life hours after they laughed in the faces of their victims. That was what he had been doing to the human female crying for her life. He was mocking her while he groped her.
“No,” I muttered, squeezing my hand over his neck as I dangled him off the ground. His bones snapped beneath the pressure. Blood spewed from his mouth. Another amusing part about our job was we sent these fucks straight to our natural enemy: the Devil. There was no pain in that. It was satisfying to know that death was only the beginning for these sick bastards. That was why demons feared and hated us. When a Reaper killed one, we sent them to the place they didn’t want to go.
They loved living in the Devil’s Underworld, but they hated going to his Hell.
Maybe that was why so many were siding with Harvest. A fool’s hope. I crossed paths with Harvest one time. It was enough to know that he’d use every single demon to get what he wanted. Was Harvest driven by a thirst for power? Did he want to overthrow and steal his creator’s shine that badly? Or was he just mad? Probably both.
After I descended the demon to the flames, I wiped the human’s memory and took her back to her world. Since leaving Gwendolyn at Grim’s castle, I’d spent my hours saving humans and banishing demons.
My confrontation with Sebastian filtered through my thoughts. Fucking annoying. I was constantly rehashing that scene and the situation with Gwendolyn in my chaotic brain.
“You’re abandoning her,” Sebastian exclaimed as he followed me outside.
I faced him. “How am I abandoning her? Gwendolyn’s safe here. She’s a Reaper now. Where else would she go?”
His slanted gaze and clenched jaw clouded his normal goofy smile. “That mark means she’s meant to be next to you!”
“Stop acting like you understand the mark.”
“For whatever reason, Barron, our sins are imprinting on others. Call it what you want, but since the moment I saw Isabella, I knew.”
“That’s the problem, Sloth. I’m not you. I didn’t shoot hearts out of my ass when I met her.”
No, it went beyond that. I thought of stealing her away every second of the day until I finally promised her I would. Then Harvesters came, and I realized Wrath didn’t deserve such a precious jewel. Not that anyone would call Gwendolyn a gem after she opened her mouth. More like a spitfire.
“So what? We love differently.” He rubbed his forehea
d and frowned. “I love that my curse, the very thing I’ve hated for so long, has given me a reason to enjoy it. Every day, I wake up to see a little more of my essence embedded into Isabella’s darkness. My immortality is flowing into her. Do you know what that means? I get to keep her forever, Barron. Your essence is woven so deeply into Gwendolyn’s, that even compared to Isabella, you’d think you two found each other before us.”
“You fucking idiot,” I said enraged as my essence twisted and spun around me. Sebastian held his palms out as I spoke. “Don’t you see? It’s because fate decided she would be mine that I couldn’t send her to Heaven. She would have been safe! But now she’s not.”
Sebastian’s lowered his hands to his sides.
“Oh, Barron.” I didn’t realize Mom was behind me. The pain in her voice was too much to bear.
Without another word, I faded away from them.
Even then, I wasn’t raging like normal. I’d spent my days trying not to cross into the darkness and let my curse take over. It terrified me that my raging out was somehow blocked.
Flexing my fingers, I tried to work past my growing anger. It was so intense that I felt I’d snap. Surprising, my festering fury hadn’t pulled me under. Despite my sin surging within me, it had no desire to seek freedom.
What was I becoming? And what would happen to Gwendolyn in the process?
So, I did the only thing I could. Killing and swiping memories until the hours bled together. I tried not to think about the situation, but my fury continued pestering me. In my life, there was always something to be angry about. It was hard not to think about who was at the castle, and what she was doing was there. Why, despite all the mounting violence, did I replay strange things in my head that made me want to seek her out for selfish reasons? Reasons that fueled my temper. If I were raging normally, I’d be a vicious storm of darkness. Instead, I had a stockpile of memories irritating the hell out of me.
Like the way Gwendolyn openly flirted with the nurse who was captivated by her.
Or, the way her warmth flowed through my cloak every time she was near. And the ghost of her lips against mine, and the sneak of her tongue before I put a stop to her playfulness. My chest tightened, suddenly growing warm.
Conjuring Wrath (Seven Deadly Book 3) Page 11