Turning around, she was more than stunned to find a set of dark eyes, watching her. A face set in a decided frown as he glanced between her and the parting back of her ex-fiancé.
But there was nothing for him to be worried about. The only thing she and Brad had exchanged was their first real good-bye.
She stepped toward the man she was choosing, ready to tell him that. When he turned on his heels and headed to the elevator.
Leaving her openmouthed and gaping.
Cruz was halfway down the hall when Payton called out to him, but he couldn’t speak to her just then. Not when it took every ounce of strength not to stride after Brad and belt him in that smug mouth. A mouth that he knew was smiling even now, as he wormed his way back into Payton’s arms.
Instead, Cruz made it onto the elevator just as the door was closing and he received some satisfaction as he pounded the button to the third floor.
He’d spent the better part of the last ten minutes looking for Payton after arriving at the restaurant and not finding her. Then he’d gone to the lobby to see if she’d left a message for him and found her in the arms of Brad Eastman.
Is it always going to be like this?
He made it to his room and began pacing, knowing she would arrive any moment and he still needed to get ahold of this unbridled anger and jealousy that had sprung at him so hard. Too soon, she was knocking on the door.
“Cruz. What on earth is going on with you?” she demanded and stormed in, slamming the door behind her. He almost blinked at the anger she was giving back to him, so used to seeing her smile and laugh her way out of most situations.
“I’m trying to work out what the hell I just saw down there. Between you and Brad? The guy who you said you were never going back to. It looked mighty chummy to me. Are you playing a game here? Payton? Trying to lead us both on, until you’re certain which guy you really want?”
Her head whipped back slightly, almost as if he’d slapped her. “I can’t believe you just said that.” He could hear the hurt and anger in her voice. “What you saw was Brad and I saying good-bye after I spent the last hour waiting for you. I thought you were just making one or two calls? Did you forget that your family—that I—was downstairs waiting for you?”
Cruz rubbed his jawline again, trying to steady his breathing. Why the hell was he going off like some half-cocked redneck because someone looked at his woman? She was right. He wasn’t being reasonable. He breathed a deep breath in and out. “You’re right. Maybe it was something that Eastman said that still rankled. That it was only a matter of time before you realized who you’re meant to be with. And he sure as hell didn’t mean me.”
“I don’t care about what he told you. You don’t have to worry about him anymore. He’s leaving and he’s going to be out of my life permanently.” She took a step toward him, placing her hand on his arm in reassurance and smiled. “Not only is he heading back in the next hour, he’s also taking my mother with him. It’s just going to be you and me. Alone. In a hotel room for a few more days.”
Shit. He still had to break it to her. Why he’d been up there for so long. “I’m sorry, Payton. I have a bit of bad news. I know we’d hoped to stick around here for a few more days. Just you and me…but it looks like moving the timeframe up a month has made everything a hundred times more complicated. There are building permits we need to get started on, subcontractors to hire, and I’m going to need to get back home to begin orchestrating it all. Tomorrow.”
She pulled her hand back. She looked like he’d said there would be no Christmas, the disappointment was so stark on her face.
“Hey, listen. I’ll make it up to you. I just need to get things rolling, but it won’t be forever.”
She turned away quickly, looking out at the terrace instead of him.
“So we’ll go back home, and you’ll go back to work,” she said, her voice dangerously quiet and unemotional. “Will I be able to see you for dinner tomorrow?”
“Of course. I mean, it’s going to be crazy, but I have to eat. You can come by the office. I’d love to see you there, introduce you to everyone. And we’ll get away together, soon. Just us.”
“Right. This is just temporary. When do you think things will get back to normal again? I mean this project. It’s pretty big. When do you expect to be caught up enough that you and I might have some time for each other?”
The truth was, he didn’t really know. Ideally, he’d like to hire someone to be his right hand man, someone who could help with the day-to-day scheduling, the planning and organizing. Eventually. But if he were honest, he’d worked too hard to risk someone messing it up. He’d get there eventually, but not yet.
“You’ll see, Payton. It’s going to be tough at first, but it will all be worth it. And I’ll be able to give you the kind of life you’re used to. One you deserve.”
Payton looked out at the deep almost turquoise-colored ocean that had filled her with such hope just hours earlier, and now only reminded her of how naive she really was. Thinking she could have it all.
“The only life I want is one with a man who I can share it with. Share the little moments, the joys, the sadness.” She blinked back tears. For a short moment in time, she thought she was going to have it all. She thought she was going to have someone who got her, who saw who she was and wanted only her.
“I don’t begrudge you this success, Cruz. I’m thrilled and excited for this opportunity, even if I have my own reservations about your business partner. But I was downstairs and ready to toast to that success with you, with your family who want only the best for you and would have been happy to be part of that celebration. But you never came down.”
He couldn’t take the minute to celebrate the moment with her, too focused on the big picture. Not enjoying the moment. Just as her mother has warned her. He was more like her father than she’d ever wanted to admit.
“We’ll go tell them soon. We can celebrate with them tonight. You’ll see.”
“You say that, but I know what’s going to happen, even if you don’t. Something will come up, some emergency that you can’t let anyone else handle. It has to be you. And I’ll be waiting downstairs alone. Again.”
“So what would you have me do? You want me to rip up this contact with Dick Eastman? You want me to thumb my nose at this deal, this deal that’s everything I could ever have wanted?”
All he ever could have wanted.
She turned to face him. “No, of course not.” She pinned a smile on her face. “This is what you’ve worked for. It’s just…I made a commitment to myself over the past few days. To not settle on being second best to anyone. I think that maybe, right now, you and I need some time. Some space to figure out who we are. What we want.”
She didn’t mean anything of the sort though, but it sounded really grown up and responsible. No, what she really wanted was for Cruz to crush her against him again, to say that space was the last thing they needed. That they’d figure this out and that he knew it would be hard, but he would work hard to make them a priority. That he wouldn’t let business take over his life.
To make some effort so she could believe him.
“Maybe you’re right.” His tone was different. Wooden. “You have a lot on your plate right now, a wedding to cancel, your whole future to figure out. And I have weeks and months to get this project off the ground. The last thing either of us needs is another commitment.”
His words were like ice to her heart, but she nodded, as if he made all the sense in the world, willing the tears not to spill. For him not to know her heart was breaking.
“Then maybe if it’s not too late, I might see about hitching a ride back with Brad. No sense just hanging around another day by myself. Kate’s going to be a little preoccupied.”
Ask me to stay.
“Sure. That makes sense. You should head out. I won’t have to worry about you passing out in the airport or getting in an argument with the airport staff and being hauled away to jail.”
He smiled, but his eyes didn’t hold the same smile. “Maybe we can even have dinner sometime, when I get back.”
She nodded again. “That sounds great. Well, I better get going otherwise I might miss my ride.”
With one last long look, staring at that strong, handsome face, the lips that could look so stern and hard but soften and feel so heavenly on hers. She memorized it all, creating another memory that wouldn’t be in any album.
Then with a little wave, she walked past him and out the door.
Hoping he’d stop her.
Cruz knew he needed to stop her. He wanted to stop her. Wanted to tell her that no matter how much this deal meant to him, meant to his business, he’d never let it become more important than her. That he’d always make room for her.
But then she’d dropped the announcement she was going to get a ride back on the Eastman jet. A privilege only available to her because of her connection to the formidable Eastmans. A privilege and convenience he couldn’t offer her.
Not yet.
She wanted time and space. He could give that to her. If she really wanted him, really was ready to make this commitment to him, what were a few more months? He’d get this deal going, would reap the rewards, including the recognition he’d long sought for Sorensen Construction. Recognition his father’s company was deserving of.
If Payton Vaughn and he were really meant to be, then there would still be tomorrow. There would still be the future to show her that he could be everything she wanted.
That he was worthy of her love.
Chapter Seventeen
Payton typed in the three-number security code from the back of her credit card and stared at the screen in front of her.
“Come on, do it. Or I’ll push it myself,” Brad said from behind her, pretending to reach over to press the enter button on her computer.
She pushed his hand away and took a breath before hitting the button, registering herself for the U’s LSAT prep course. The first step to getting admitted into law school again. Unfortunately, as she’d found out over the past week since returning from Mexico, her previous LSAT score, taken six years before, was no longer valid, and she had to retake it to be considered for admission anywhere.
It was probably for the best as it gave her time to prepare, and not just for the LSAT she’d take in June, but for her law school applications. She shut her laptop and sat back on her couch.
“That wasn’t so hard, now, was it?” Brad asked next to her.
“Easier than I thought. I can’t believe I’m doing it. Finally.” In the time since coming back from the ill-fated trip, she’d had a lot to think about. About what she wanted, where her life was going, and if she was going to sit around and let choices be made for her or finally do something for herself.
Discovering that she still wanted to focus on environmental law and reading up on all the recent progress in that area had been so invigorating and exciting. She felt hopeful.
Even if she’d lost a big part of her heart and didn’t know if she’d ever feel whole again. But it was done. She knew that, finally, because her mother had gloated over the details of the deal that had been picked up by several media outlets and, as Brad had confirmed, some big contractor magazine was going to feature Cruz as a mover and shaker next month.
At least he was getting what he wanted.
And soon, she’d be on the road to feeling a lot better about herself. Maybe not getting everything she wanted, but close. She’d even told Camille to go ahead with canceling the wedding, much to her mother’s horror. But she was leading her life her way now.
“Should we celebrate?” Brad asked and leaped up from the couch, heading over to her open kitchen.
“Maybe after I get my LSAT score. I’m a little rusty when it comes to test taking. I might crash and burn.”
“I insist,” he said and pulled a bottle of red wine from the shelf. “It’s not Champagne but it will do. This is a momentous step, Payton. You have to be proud of yourself for taking control of your life again. And can you imagine the look on your mother’s face when you tell her you’re going to law school and dropping out of the social circuit?”
“Yeah,” she said and set her laptop on the coffee table in front of her and tucked her legs underneath her. “That will be epic. She’s entirely too satisfied with how things progressed last weekend. When I stepped on that plane with you, I thought she was going to actually crack some semblance of a full-faced smile, she was that happy with herself.”
He pulled the cork from the bottle and poured two glasses before rejoining her. “Yeah, I think she even considered throwing me a high five for a minute there.”
Payton smiled and sipped her wine. It was surprising how understanding Brad had been about the whole thing with Cruz. And for the first time in a while, she felt they were both being honest with each other, with what they wanted, their plans for themselves. Something they’d never really done before, always holding a little back from each other. Yes, he might have destroyed her trust in him when he cheated on and lied to her, but she had to be honest that over the past week, he’d done a lot to repair that trust.
He held his glass up. “To both of us making better choices and telling our parents where to jump.” His eyes twinkled, and she realized that he had some news of his own.
She paused before taking a drink. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Only that last night I received an offer from the New York marketing company I’ve been working closely with for Eastman Motors. They want me to join their department. Not because I’m an Eastman and not because of anything my father arranged. But because they saw the work I did and loved it and thought I’d make a great addition to their team. I’m joining them in two weeks.”
“Shut up,” she said in disbelief and then let out a squeal before hugging him, sending her wine precariously close to spilling.
“Watch that wine. You wouldn’t want stains on this eggshell fabric,” he said in a tone that mimicked her mother.
“Then I’ll dye it cranberry. I’m so happy for you, Brad. Really.” She held her glass up and tipped it against his. “To telling our parents where to jump.”
The wine was warm and comforting as it went down, and she felt a similar sense of warmth and comfort in his presence. His face changed, growing more serious, and he set his glass down. His fingers were almost cold as he took her hands in his and she looked up in surprise. What was coming over him?
“Come with me.”
“Come with you? Where, to New York? Are you crazy?”
“Far from it. We can turn a whole new page. You can study for the LSAT there. And hell, you’ll have your pick of top law schools in New York. Columbia? NYU? Even Yale is only ninety minutes away. We can start fresh without our families watching our every step, plotting our entire lives. We can do what we should have done from the start. Make it about just you and me.”
Last week, she’d have leaped at the chance. Now, though…there was another person she wanted. Another person who had her heart. Now and maybe forever. Even if he didn’t feel the same way.
Starting over with someone else, someone she cared about and who cared about her…it could maybe help her heart heal. But…
“It sounds so tempting,” she said honestly. “But I can’t do it, Brad. It wouldn’t be fair to you or me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but what I had with…Cruz, even so brief…well, I don’t think I could feel that same way about you.”
“Good,” he said, not looking the least bit upset. Only earnest. “Because whatever you might have felt or still feel for that guy wasn’t anything to build a foundation on. It might have felt different, earth shaking even, but eventually that would have dissipated and you two would have been left with nothing but those old memories. You turned to him when you were hurting and in pain, and I don’t believe you ever would have looked at him twice if I hadn’t done what I did. I blame myself. But you and I, we’re alike. We both have meddlesome, overbearing parents
, similar backgrounds, education, interests. Everything to build a solid foundation for a long-term relationship. Even a marriage.”
What is he doing? Is he asking me to marry him all over again?
Payton remembered the stomach-clenching pain she’d felt in those minutes after she left Cruz. Returning to her room, packing up, and then…she had waited for him. Hoped and feared that he’d knock on that door and try again. Make her see his way, anything. Just fight for her.
But he didn’t.
She’d boarded that flight, the pain excruciating, wondering how she’d ever feel anything again. Those hours on the plane had felt like the longest in her life.
Monday came and then Tuesday and Wednesday and she’d lay in bed watching her favorite romcoms and eating her weight in chocolate-covered cherries in between going through boxes of tissues for the constant flow of tears. She’d almost made it out once, to go pick up a new cell phone.
Then she thought about all the long hours that she’d spend staring at it. Willing it to ring. Willing Cruz to call and tell her he’d been an idiot and he’d move heaven and earth to be with her—she’d clearly been watching too many romcoms.
And when he didn’t, it would crush her all over again, that is if there were anything left to crush.
So she decided she liked her ignorant bliss. Of shutting out the world and hiding under the comfort of her duvet. Wondering if only she hadn’t put such a condition on Cruz, they might be together now. If she’d been more flexible. Then she put on one of her favorite Sandra Bullock flicks for the eighth time and cried some more.
Until Thursday came. And she realized she was done with changing anything in her life for anyone but herself. She needed to find out what exactly she wanted. Live for herself. No one else.
Even though she now woke up every day, her chest feeling almost ripped open again as the memories flooded back to her, she resolved to move on.
Her Accidental Husband Page 19