by Karina Halle
“Oh come on,” Rachel says but her smile fades when I don’t immediately say anything. “Oh my god. Delilah Gordon, did you have sex with Fox Nelson?”
“It sounds extra weird when you use our full names,” I admit quietly.
“Oh my god!” Riley and Rachel exclaim in unison, their eyes bugging out of their heads, mouths dropped.
“Rachel!” a voice yells and the door to the bathroom starts shaking from someone pounding on it. “You have to go now! Wedding is starting, like, fucking now.”
It’s Maverick.
Riley flings the door open which causes Rachel to scream and grab a towel from the rack and attempt to cover her bra and underwear.
“Oh like I haven’t seen that before,” Maverick says as he steps in the bathroom. He looks handsome as hell, clean-shaven, wearing a well-fitted tuxedo.
“Rachel needs her dress before she can go out there,” I say, gesturing to her.
Riley grabs his arm. “Did you know that Fox and Del fucked?”
“What?!” Mav exclaims loudly, staring at me with the same expression Riley is. “When?”
“Is he here yet?” Rachel asks Mav, tugging on his other arm.
He shakes his head, blue eyes focused on me. “No, he’s not. Del where is he?”
“I don’t know!” I throw out my arms. “I haven’t talked to him at all since he’s been gone.”
“Did you guys fuck before he left?” Mav asks.
“Oh stop being so vulgar,” Rachel says, smacking him now. Then she looks to me. “But, did you? When did this happen?”
“Rachel, I’m done!” my mom yells, suddenly appearing in the doorway with the wedding dress in hand. “Are you guys having a party in here? I smell booze.”
“Delilah and Fox slept together,” Riley tells her.
“Riley!” I cry out.
Oh my god!
“Not cool, babe, not cool,” Mav mutters under his breath.
“What?” my mother asks, brows raised, as Rachel takes the dress from her. “Delilah?”
“Okay everyone out,” Rachel says, waving her hands around, “I have to put this on.”
“What in tarnation is going on up here?” Dick says, also appearing behind my mother. Rachel yelps again, this time covering herself with the dress.
He looks at all of us with utmost disapproval. “Enough with the lollygagging in the bathroom, get yourselves downstairs and out that door to the damn wedding!”
“Everybody out!” Rachel yells, grabbing the edge of the door. I’m about to leave the room too but she pulls me back by my elbow. “No, Del you stay. I need your help.”
“Is it true?” I hear my mother whisper to Mav on the other side of the door. “About Fox and Del?”
“Is what true?” Dick asks.
I groan and lean back against the sink, resting my head in my hands.
“Hey,” Rachel says softly, putting her hand on my arm. “It’s okay. But first, as maid of honor, you have to help me into this dress. Then, as my best friend, you have to tell me everything.”
My hands drop away and I look at her. “You just said it was a colossal mistake.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Just talk to me. And help me get this damn dress on!”
She’s starting to go into panic mode again and it doesn’t help that I’m hearing the soft strains of the wedding march come through the window.
I quickly unzip the dress and help her get into it. My mother really did an amazing job with the hem, you can’t tell that it ripped at all.
“It happened the night of the breakup. He came to the bar like Riley said, all drunk and damaged and one thing led to another…”
She holds her boobs together so I can get the bodice on properly while I start to zip up the back. “What, you guys had sex at The Bear Trap?”
I can’t help but grin. “Yeah. On the pool table.”
“Oh my god.”
“I know.”
“So what…what does this mean? I mean, I want to hear the details and all but…”
“But we need to get you downstairs and to your wedding,” I fill in as I snag the hook and eye closure together. “There, you’re in. You’re done.” She slowly pirouettes around. “And you look beautiful.”
She smiles sweetly and then says, “But are you guys okay?”
I nod. “I think so. Next day I went over to talk about his squirrel—”
“His what?”
“Long story. Anyway, he acted like nothing had happened and when I wondered if things were weird now, he said nothing would ever change between us. That we’d always be friends. I never said otherwise but I guess…things are just back to normal. Like we both got it out of our system.”
She looks me closely in the eye. “Del, you just don’t get love out of your system. Not like that.”
I swallow, nod. “I know.”
“So you really haven’t talked to him? You don’t know where he is?”
“I wish I did, Rachel. You know how he is when he’s away. I’m sure he would have made it if he could have.”
“Shane is going to be so upset.”
I put my hand on her cheek. “He’ll get over it. Right now, all he cares about is you. Now come on, let’s go make you his wife.”
We head out of the bathroom and down the stairs, and then go around the corner of the house to wait for our cues. Maverick is already here, as is Vernalee, Hank and Dick. I peek around the corner and already see Shane standing at the altar with the minister.
“Rachel,” I say in awe. “Shane looks so handsome.”
She grins at me. “I’m so nervous!” she whispers harshly.
“You’re going to be fine,” Hank says, holding out his arm. Since Rachel’s father is thankfully absent and tucked away in prison somewhere, both Hank and Dick agreed to walk Rachel down the aisle together. Vernalee is here to walk Riley down the aisle in the case that Fox doesn’t show up, and so far that seems to be what’s happening.
“That’s our cue,” Vernalee says, putting her arm out for Riley. I know that traditionally, if there’s an uneven number, then the person walks alone, but I have a feeling this is more for Vernalee than it is for Riley.
She and Riley walk down the aisle between the rows of chairs, Vernalee’s grey dress and fancy hat a nice compliment to the navy blue of Riley’s dress. In the background that thunderstorm keeps churning closer and closer and just as Riley takes her place at the altar and Vernalee sits down in the front row, the sky flashes with fork lightning.
Everyone goes “ooooh” and Mav takes my arm. “Talk about a dramatic entrance, huh Del?” he says to me as we start heading down the aisle toward them, the thunder now rumbling through us, a hot, electrically charged breeze ruffling my up-do. “I can’t believe you slept with Fox,” he adds.
I keep the smile pasted on my face for the guests and talk to him out of the corner of my mouth. “I can’t believe it either.”
I take my place at the altar beside Riley and give her hand an excited squeeze for a moment, then look at Shane and grin, mouthing “yay!”
He’s looking handsome, he’s also looking wired. Not scared exactly, but anxious, nervous, a whole mess of things. I know the spot beside Maverick burns with Fox’s absence but so far Shane seems to be keeping it together.
Then Maverick leans into Shane and whispers something in his ear.
Shane’s eyes widen and he looks right at me. “You and Fox did what?” he cries out softly.
Oh my god.
Fucking Maverick!
I’m glaring at him for telling Shane now of all times, but then Riley is poking me in the side. “Hey, it’s Fox.”
I glance at her and see where she’s staring. Fox is coming out from around one of the tents, straightening his bow-tie.
I can barely believe that he’s here, he made it.
Like the rest of his brother’s, he looks devastatingly handsome, if not a little out of place, in a tux.
“He’s lo
oking rough,” she whispers to me. “Did he just jump out of a plane to get here or what?”
He is looking a little rough, she’s right. His face is pale and ashen, eyes are hard and intense and accented by dark circles. He walks right over to the altar and takes his place beside Maverick, giving him and Shane nothing more than a nod.
He doesn’t look at me or Riley, or anyone else in the crowd, just kind of pretends that he’s always been standing at the altar like he’s supposed to.
He’s here.
And yet, I can tell in his head, he is so far away.
The music grows louder and I tear my eyes off of Fox to look at the end of the aisle where Rachel appears, Hank and Dick on either side of her as the three of them proudly walk down the aisle.
I can’t help it, I’m tearing up already from the sight of them. Dick won’t stop grinning, wearing a black cowboy hat and shiny black boots to go along with his suit.
Even though I had just helped Rachel into her dress moments ago, it’s like I’m now seeing her through new eyes. Seeing her through Shane’s eyes.
I steal a glance at him and see his eyes watering with love as he gazes at her, unable to keep the smile off his face.
Rachel, too, is having a hard time keeping it together as Dick and Hank drop her off in front of Shane and go back to their seats. Riley is sniffing from beside me and muttering something about waterproof mascara.
Shane takes Rachel’s hands in his, squeezes them and they gaze into each other’s eyes and I’m seeing a love that I can only dream about having for myself.
I can’t help it. I look past Shane to Fox and for a moment, just a moment, I meet his eyes. It’s like looking at a lover, looking at a stranger, looking at a friend.
Then he looks away.
I look back at the couple.
The minister says, “Shall we begin?”
9
Delilah
Thunder rumbles, causing everyone to erupt into nervous laughter.
“I’m not sure how much time we have,” the photographer says to us. “Let’s get a few more shots before the rain falls.”
I glance up at the sky. The clouds are high and billowing and dark as sin and the wind has been steadily picking up. Somehow the rain managed to hold off for the entire ceremony and the photos so far. It’s weird because it’s almost as if the storm has split around us, half of it skirting above the river and obscuring the town with sheets of rain, while the other half is sliding along the base of Cherry Peak. It’s a matter of minutes before the two halves converge.
With my arm linked around Riley’s in our current pose, I pull Riley tighter to me and we smile in unison at the camera. Rachel and Shane are between us, out behind us are Mav and Fox.
I haven’t been able to say anything to Fox since he joined the wedding except a nod, “hey” and that’s it. It doesn’t help that everyone else keeps watching our every move like the two of us are just going to start fucking right here.
“Delilah, can you smile bigger?” the photographer asks, and I quickly oblige. Who knows what kind of expression I just had on my face. I’m pretty sure whenever I’m thinking about Fox now I just look totally confused instead of lovestruck. Maybe a combo of both.
“All right,” he says after he’s snapped a few more. “One more with the wedding party and family.”
We’re all posed by the barn leaning back along the fence, so Dick, Hank, Vernalee and my mother, who were waiting anxiously behind the camera, all come out to join us.
“When this is done, can we start drinking?” Dick asks, rubbing his hand over his weathered face.
“Hell yeah we can,” Shane says with a laugh.
Then Dick takes off his cowboy hat and tosses it to Shane who catches it with ease. The photographer snaps away, getting the hat in the air and then as Shane puts it on his head and gives Rachel a joyous smile.
The first drop of rain falls right down my cleavage.
Time is up.
“Okay that’s a wrap for now,” the photographer says staring up at the sky before quickly putting his camera away.
“It’s going to be a doozy!” Dick yells. “Shane, give me my hat back!”
All of us start to head up the hill to the house and the tents that were luckily set up before the oncoming deluge. The sky flashes with lightning and the thunder rumbles again as the rain starts to fall more steadily. I know we’re going to get soaked soon but I hang back behind everyone else, the end of my dress in my hand so I don’t tread on it, until I’m walking beside Fox.
“Hey stranger,” I tell him with a wary smile, looking him up and down. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a tux before. You didn’t even go to our high school grad.”
He nods, hands in his pockets, eyes focused straight ahead. “Are they mad that I’m late?”
I stop walking and he stops beside me. “Who? Your family?”
“Yeah.”
I frown at him. I can’t tell if he’s drunk or what he is, but he’s cagey, fidgety, liking he’s fighting something internally. “Honestly, I think they’re all just glad you’re here. They know your job, they knew you not showing was a possibility.” Boldly, I reach out and grab his hand, squeezing it tight. “But I’m glad you’re here.”
He blinks at me, as if seeing me for the first time since getting here. He squeezes my hand back. “How is Conan?”
I smile. “He’s good. He’s growing more and more every day. I took him to the wildlife center, by the way, but they’re booked up. Said maybe they can take him next month when the fire season calms down.”
“I don’t think it will ever calm down,” he says, his voice grave.
And just like that, the rain comes down in sheets, slamming into us, bouncing off the dirt. “Shit,” I say.
“Come here,” he says, pulling me toward the closest shelter, which is the barn.
It’s pretty much too late though, my dress is already soaked through and sticking to me.
And now I’m in the barn with Fox, the rain pouring down just outside and echoing off the roof.
He lets go of my hand, as if knowing what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling, realizing he’s alone with me, and he walks off to the first stall, leaning back against it with a sigh. He opens his suit jacket and pulls a flask out of the pocket.
He holds it out offering it to me with a shake of his hand. “You want some?”
“What is it?” I ask, coming over to him. Normally I wouldn’t, but because of the rain and the wedding and the tension between us, I think I just might. Besides, it reminds me of being teenagers, sneaking Hank and Dick’s alcohol out here and drinking it.
“Rye,” he says gruffly. “It gets the job done.”
I take it and have a sip, wincing at the burn as it goes down my throat, then give him a sheepish smile as I give it back to him. “Thanks. Do you always carry this with you?”
“Sometimes,” he says, not smiling, eyes locked on mine as he has another large swig and I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. Then he looks around the barn. “This reminds me of stealing Dick’s whisky and coming here. Then filled his bottles back up with water, of course.”
“I was just thinking that,” I say to him, and he hands me the bourbon again. “Some things never change.”
“No, not really. And then all at once, everything does. Isn’t that life though? One minute becomes a million minutes and you’re just living every day like it isn’t your last and then another minute more and it is.”
Oh dear. He’s definitely in a mood. I study him as I take another shot, this one going down easier. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know. Am I ever okay?”
He exhales, looks down at his feet. It’s then that I notice he has ash and twigs in his hair.
“You have, like, a forest in your hair,” I tell him, taking a step so I’m right up next to him and running my hand through his hair. I pick out a twig and toss it to the ground, brush away some ash.
“I didn’t
even have time to shower,” he admits, still looking down, still letting me touch him. “I knew Shane and everyone, you especially, would have slaughtered me if I didn’t make it on time. I did my fucking best.”
Whoa. He’s volatile tonight.
“You know it’s because you and Shane have issues you need to work out,” I tell him, proceeding carefully as I remember Rachel’s plea. “That’s the only reason why anyone would think anything of it.” He just grunts in response and I know he’s not going to elaborate on that one. “But you’re here and that’s all that matters.”
I keep running my fingers through his hair even though all the ash and twigs are gone, enjoying the feel of it, feeling this close to him. He smells like pine, and smoke, and heat and all those things I associate with him, things I’ve grown to love. Occasionally his eyes droop closed, which means he must be enjoying this too.
Finally, he looks up at me with a pained expression. “Hey. I’m sorry about the other night.”
I look at him curiously. “What other night?”
“At the bar. What happened between us.”
Oh. Oh, this isn’t good…he’s sorry? Sorry for the sex?
Brave face. Put on your brave face.
“Okay…” I slowly take my hand away but he reaches out and grabs me by the wrist, holding me.
“I’m sorry that I left things up in the air,” he says, his eyes flashing with intensity as his grip on me tightens. “And I’m sorry I had to leave right away. I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t know what to do.”
“It’s okay, Fox. We’re friends and we just happened to…”
“I have to leave again,” he says quickly. “Tomorrow night.”
The intensity in his gaze deepens, holding me hostage as the air changes around us like we’re our own thunderstorm in the making. Meanwhile, the one outside the barn starts to rage.
He puts his hand at the back of my neck, his palm hot, his grip possessive. He holds me in place as he searches my face, his nostrils flaring slightly. “I don’t want to be alone tonight, Del. I don’t want to go home without you.”
Our storm has reached another level. I can practically feel the lightning striking between us, making my hair stand on end, my heart to be jolted again and again. We’re charged, more alive than ever before.