“You’re not fine! I just saw your eye,”
“Listen I got into with some chic last night at the club. Let it go!” She snatched her purse and stomped out the bathroom.
Something in my gut told me she was lying. If she wasn’t trying to give me answers I knew who would. I pulled into the Next Level’s parking lot. I parked my car right next to Dontae’s. I knew the club wasn’t open yet, so this would be the best time to talk to him. Once David realized where we were he immediately got excited. He loved Dontae and since our break he hadn’t seen him.
“Auntie are we going to see uncle Dontae?”
“Yes but only for a little while,”
He grabbed his McDonald toy and tried to get out of his car seat.
“Don’t be so anxious. Let me help you. I turned off the car and reached in the backseat to help him. I smiled as I thought about all the times I would bring him here. Dontae was so good with him. I just knew he would make a good father one day. I sighed as I brought myself back to my real reality.
I pulled on the backdoor of the club. It was locked. I knocked on the medal door as hard as I could. I wanted to make sure he heard me. I could tell when Dontae opened the door he was surprised to see us. I was about to think I had made a mistake coming, until I saw the big smile on his face. He reached down and put David in his arms. It felt like old times.
I followed them into club. They headed straight to the small game room. I sat at a table close by and watched them play. It amazed me how advanced David was. Dontae handed him a stack of ones for the game he was playing. He knew how to play the game and knew how to put the money in the machine.
I watched them play for about ten minutes. Donate and I made eye contact. He mouthed the words; give me one minute. He walked over and sat across from me. I asked him to slide his chair so I could keep an eye on David.
“So how are you?” He asked.
“I’m good and you?”
“I can’t complain,” I stated ready to eliminate the small talk.
I wanted to know what was going on with Lexi. My heart knew he didn’t hurt her. But someone did and I needed to know who. Maybe it was Lou. That night I saw them outside the club had me questioning their entire relationship. I glanced over at David. He was still content playing the game. I turned my attention back to Dontae.
“I ran into Lexi today…” Before I could continue he interrupted me.
“Come on I know you didn’t come over here to tell me you two got into it again. You two both really need to grow up. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was being concerned about his so-called girl and he’s telling me I need to grow up! I’m mean really who did he think he was? I abruptly stood and tried to walk away. He quickly came around the table and positioned his body in front me.
“My bad don’t get upset. I thought you came here to see me not talk about Lexi. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I actually was planning on calling you to see if we could talk,” he took my hand and asked me to have a seat.
“Wait right there,” he stated.
I watched as he strolled over to the jukebox. He put a few dollars in and searched for what he wanted to play. I was stunned with what I heard. Was he actually playing one of my favorite songs? What was he trying to do to me? I stared at his beautiful lips as he made his way back to me. I couldn’t stop smiling as he lip sync the words to Maxwell’s Pretty Wings.
Dontae held out his hand and asked me to dance. I placed my hand in his. In that moment it felt like all of our problems had drifted away. We danced until the music stopped. I looked over at David who was still playing the game.
“How many ones did you give him?” I asked
“About twenty, just enough to keep him busy so I could talk to you,”
“So what do you have to talk to me about?”
“Let’s sit down first,”
“This must be serious,” I said.
“You could say that,” He pulled out my chair so I could sit down.
I was anxious to hear what he had to say. I had tried several times to speak to him after we broke up. But he’d always refused. I was glad he wanted to talk. Because I needed to know what was on his mind.
I had no clue what he was about to say. I braced myself and waited. I loved this man. I didn’t care what we had been through. I knew we could work things out. I had my faults and so did he, but at the end of the day I loved him and I had a feeling he still felt the same way about me.
“Sandy I just want to say; I’m sorry. I never meant hurt you. I realize now that my actions caused you to do what you did. I’m not going to lie. You cheating on me broke my heart. Then losing my mom on top of it was too much for me to handle. I blamed you; I blamed God for all the pain I was feeling. I didn’t know how to deal with losing my mother and I took that anger out on you and I’m so sorry,”
I was overwhelmed. This was not what I expected to hear. I could feel the tears rolling down my face. He was finally apologizing. I had waited so long for his forgiveness. It finally felt like I could exhale.
“Do you still love me?” I asked. He moved his chair closer and lifted my chin. So I could look directly into his hazel eyes.
“Of course I do. I never stopped. I just had to figure some things out,”
I was hearing his words but I was still feeling uneasy. I couldn’t take being hurt by him again. I just couldn’t. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“So what does all this mean?” I needed to know where he was going with all of this.
“It means I still love you. I still want to be with you. Let me ask you a question. Do you still love me?”
I smiled as I thought about the love I had for him.
“Do you really need me to answer that question?”
He smiled and kissed my lips. I felt like I was in heaven. I missed his kisses and the way his touch made me feel. When our lips parted I was at a loss for words. There was no denying that my heart belonged to him.
I stood and told Donate I needed to check on David. It was my way of getting some time to process everything that was happening. I could tell he wanted to work things out, but what about Lexi? Did he still have feelings for her? Should I ask him about it? I had so many questions. I grabbed a bag of chips from behind the bar. I figured that would hold David over until we got home.
“Hey nephew are you okay?”
He shook his head yes. I could tell he was focused on the game. I kissed his cheek and placed the chips in front of him.
“We’re going to be leaving in a few alright,”
“Do we have too?”
“Yes we have too, but you can finish your game first,”
“Yeah!” He grinned.
I turned and slowly walked back to the table. Dontae had a concerned look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing, I just need to know that you believe me. I want us to trust each other again,”
I leaned in close so he could hear my every word.
“I do believe you. I know we can get back what we once had. It’s not going to be easy. But I know we can do it,”
“So does that mean you accept my apology?” He asked.
I gave him the look. The look that let him know all was forgiven. I was ready to start over. But I still had one concern.
“So what is the deal with you and Lexi?”
“Lexi and I are just friends. I know you’re not going to be comfortable with that. So I will have a talk with her,”
His words relieved me. I would never tell him who he could be friends with. But keeping her in his life was out of the question. I wasn’t threatened by her. I just had feeling something was up with her. Talking about her reminded me of the reason I had come to the club in the first place. I could feel my throat getting dry. I asked Donate to get me some water. He handed a bottle of and patiently waited for me to speak.
“When I saw Lexi today she had a black eye. Do you have any idea how she got it?”
; “No I haven’t seen her in three days,” He looked uncomfortable.
I reached for his hand. I wanted to assure him that I didn’t think he had hurt her.
“Baby I know you didn’t do it. I’m just worried about her. How well do you know her brother?”
“Community college must be teaching you well. Because I feel like I’m being interrogated,”
I lightly jabbed him in his shoulder.
“I’m not interrogating you. I’m just trying to find out what happened to her. She said she got into a fight here at the club,”
He looked surprised.
“Wow she said that? We both worked together a few nights ago. But I didn’t see her get into it with anybody. I asked her did she need a ride home. She said no. The last time I saw her was with her brother Lou,”
“They were together today too. I don’t know what it is but something just ain’t right with those two,”
“Okay inspector gadget, calm down,” he laughed.
I couldn’t help but laugh too. He wasn’t funny. But he was my boo. I sat back in my chair dreading the fact that I had to leave him. He must’ve noticed the expression on my face. Because he immediately asked me what was wrong.
“Nothing I just wish I didn’t have to go. I’m having so much fun. I don’t want it to end,” I sighed.
“Who says it has too. Go home and as soon as I’m done here. I’ll swing through,” he reached in his pocket and handed me a fifty dollar bill.
“Order us something to eat and be over in about an hour,”
I kissed him on the cheek and raced over to David. I needed to hurry home to straighten up. I wasn’t normally messy. But ever since I started the training some things in my life took a backseat unfortunately cleaning was one of them.
David and I waved to Dontae as we left the club. Once I reached my car, I secured him in his car seat and pulled off. I was happy. I had been praying to God to touch Dontae’s heart and open his eyes. My prayers had finally been answered. My baby was coming back home to mama where he belonged.
Dontae
I had to make one stop before I headed to Sandy’s house. I walked up the steps and wondered what I was going to say to the man who loved me like his own son. I had turned my back on him and my church family. I hesitated before walking inside my church. I had been coming to First Faith Baptist Missionary Church since I was a kid. All my favorite childhood memories were here.
I remember Sandy and I had our first kiss in the churches basement. I had told her to meet me downstairs because I had a surprise for her. Once she reached the bottom step I planted a kiss right on her lips. She wiped her mouth and yelled; yuck! I in return I in return pushed her to the floor and ran back upstairs. She was seven and I was eight. Those were the days.
I noticed my Pastor’s door was closed. I was about to leave. But something told me to knock first. Once I knocked I heard a familiar voice. I opened the door and immediately made eye contact with him.
“How have you been son?” He asked. I stuttered.
“I…..I’m fine,”
He pointed to the chair opposite him.
“Have a seat,”
I slowly did as I was told. I knew I should have reached out to him a long time ago. I just didn’t know how to handle so much all at once.
“So what brings you by?” He questioned.
“I need to talk,” I stated squirming in my chair.
“It’s all right Donate. I know you’ve been having a rough time with the loss of your mother,”
“I have but that’s no excuse for abandoning the church. Who has been taking care of the choir?”
“Actually, Sandy said she would handle things until you returned. She didn’t tell you?”
“No sir, she didn’t mention it,”
“That’s a good girl there,”
I smiled at his statement because I already knew what a great woman I had. She took over the choir because she knew I would be back. She knew me better than I knew myself. Sandy reminded me of my mother. That was one of the reasons I loved her so much.
“Pastor, I really need to talk to you about something,” he looked at me with concern.
“You can talk to me about anything. Whatever we discuss will be between you and me,”
We talked for almost an hour. I felt better after I left his office. He gave me a lot of insight. I got in my car, and pulled my cell phone from my side pocket. I searched my contacts, and located Lexi’s number. It was time to tell her where we stood. I knew she wasn’t going to be happy. But I couldn’t keep leading her on. That just wasn’t an option.
I was about to hang up when I heard her voice.
“Hello?”
“Hey Lexi. How you doing?”
“Hi, Papi! I’m doing good.
“You sure about that?” I asked.
She paused before she answered.
“Yes I’m sure. Why are you asking?”
“Sandy stopped by to see me….” She interrupted before I could continue. I could tell by her deep sigh she wasn’t happy.
“What? Your ex came running to you like she was worried about me?”
I could feel myself ready to get on the defensive.
“Actually, she was concerned about you. That’s just the type of person she is. So are you going to tell me what happened to your eye? Because when you left me the other night with your brother you were fine. Is he hurting you? I can come through if you need me to,” I was really worried about her.
“Dontae I’m fine and no he didn’t hurt me. I was playing with my son and he hit me in the eye with one of his toys,”
“Well why did you lie to Sandy?”
“Because it was none of her business, she just wanted a reason to see you!”
Our conversation wasn’t going how I planned. I needed to let her know that, Sandy and I were back together and whatever we had going needed to come to an end.
“Are you home? I need to talk to you,” I asked.
“No I’m in Philly. I had a family emergency,”
“Is everything all right?”
“Yes my mother was overreacting as usual,” she stated with a slight attitude. The call went silent for a moment. I didn’t want to say what I had to say over the phone. But I felt like I had no choice. Sandy meant the world to me. I had to clear up any loose ends before the two of us could move forward.
“How long are you going to be in Philly?”
“I’ll be back Monday before my shift. Is something wrong?” She questioned.
I figured she could hear in my voice that something was bothering me. I knew she had feelings for me and I didn’t want to hurt her. I closed my eyes and inhaled.
“Sandy and I are back together,” I blurted out.
Things went silent for a brief moment. The only reason I knew she was still on the line, was because I still could hear her breathing. I didn’t want to hurt her. She was a sweet person. But I knew it would be wrong to lead her on. Besides, Sandy wasn’t going for us remaining friends. There was bad blood between them.
“Are you still there?” I asked.
I was relieved when she finally spoke;
“I’m here Darius. What do you want me to say?”
I honestly didn’t know what I wanted her to say. I just needed her to understand.
“I want you to tell me, how you feel,”
“Listen, you don’t need to feel guilty. I always knew there was a chance this would happen. Trust me when I say, I will bounce back. I promise you that,” She said with a slight attitude.
I could feel my head starting to hurt. I just wanted this conversation to be over.
“Could you hold for minute?” She asked.
Before I could respond, she was off the line. I looked at time on my car stereo. I was going to be late getting to Sandy’s. I knew she would understand once I explained things to her. I heard music and children crying when she returned to our conversation.
“Dontae, do you think you could do me one
last favor?”
“What do you need?” My jaw tightened.
“My mom’s disability still hasn’t kicked in. Do you think you could cover her rent once last time?” She sweetly asked.
I relaxed, once I realized that all she wanted.
“You need seven hundred right?”
“Yes,” she quickly responded.
“Okay I got you,”
“Can you wire the money tonight?”
“Nah I can’t I got plans. I’ll do it in the morning. Text me the information,” I sighed.
“Is everything all right?” She questioned.
“Yeah, I’m cool. I just need you to know this has to be the last time you come too me for help,”
“Wow!” It’s like that?”
I didn’t answer her. I mean what did she think this call was about?
“You know what Donate? You’re absolutely right. I will not ask you for anything else,” she hissed.
‘I didn’t mean to get her upset. But how would it look if I still was giving her money, and trying to make it work with Sandy.’ I thought.
“I need you to understand. We need to distance ourselves from each other for a while. I’m not trying to hurt you. You can still keep your job at the club. I know you can use the money,”
“Gee thanks,” she said sarcastically.
“I have another call coming in. I’ll text you the information. Thanks I gotta go,” she hung up before I got the chance to utter another word.
I stopped by my house to grab a few things before I headed to Sandy’s. I was actually nervous once I stepped out my car. I tossed my overnight bag on my shoulder, and sprinted up the steps. Once I reached her door, I paused. I knew she said she wanted to work things out. ‘But what if she changed her mind?’ I thought.
“Man up!” I mumbled to myself.
I knocked on the door, and she appeared with open arms. I loved this woman. All of our mistakes were a thing of the past. We were moving on and there was no stopping us.
“Where’s little man?” I asked.
She put her index finger over her lips.
“Be quiet. I just got his hyper behind to sleep. He was jumping all over this place. Thanks to you and all that candy you gave him,”
I laughed.
Choose Wisely Page 8