by Elbel, Joy
I fell asleep hoping for a dream that would lead me to my next move. Instead, all I got was that dream of us in the movie theater again. Everything leading up to the opening scene was clear and focused. But as soon as that movie started to play, everything went fuzzy. The screen was out of focus. The audio was garbled. I fidgeted in my seat unable to pay attention to the absolute mess that was playing out in front of me. Zach, on the other hand, appeared to be watching the best movie he’d ever seen.
One minute he would be laughing, the next in tears. He held my hand the entire time, squeezing it lightly at what must have been the most powerful moments of what he was viewing. It was the most frustrating thing imaginable. When I woke up the next morning, I already had a huge, impatient chip looming on my shoulder.
Unable to help Zach yet unable to sit still, I borrowed Shelly’s car and set out for Something Wick-ed without even waiting for breakfast to be ready. Rita said she didn’t think Zach was being haunted but I needed to find out what she knew along the lines of curses. It was a long shot but if Addie was right, Rita may still be able to help me out. I pulled up to the curb at the very moment that I expected her to be unlocking the front door and flipping the sign. But alas, the universe decided to flip me a different sign altogether.
“Something Wick-ed will be closed until Monday. I apologize for any inconvenience.”
Monday? Where could she possibly be that would require her to close the store for such an extended period of time? I called home to see if Shelly knew where I could find Rita. She knew, alright, and I was appalled by the answer.
“She’s on a big ghost hunt. The S.P.I.R.I.T. team is being filmed for a documentary. They’re investigating down in Honey Lake, Georgia right now. Do you remember hearing about that missing person’s case from a couple of summers ago? The one where that guy killed his wife and then ate her? I can’t remember the ladies name. It started with a “B” I think. Brenda? Barbara? I don’t know but anyway, “B’s” husband is trying to weasel his way off of death row with claims that his wife’s dismembered corpse is haunting him.”
No, I wasn’t familiar with the case but I was becoming more than a mere acquaintance with irony. “B’s” at Honey Lake? Really? I mumbled something dumb to end the conversation then started a fresh one with someone else.
“I get it, Mom. You’re telling me to be still again, right? Well, I don’t really know how to be still especially since you keep pushing me to go forward. It’s an oxymoron.”
Truth be told, I felt like a complete oxymoron myself—emphasis on the moron part. Here I was, standing in the middle of the sidewalk having a philosophical disagreement with someone I couldn’t see, feel, or hear.
But I did hear something—the sound of tires screeching to a halt on the wet asphalt. And once I saw the car, I knew I was going to be feeling this one for quite some time.
8. Liar, Liar Pants on Fire
“Yeah, girls do terrible things to guys then act like they don’t. Ruby cheated on me once already with Lucas then begged me to forgive her. She promised me that it would never happen again and I thought I could trust her. Now, I’m not so sure.”
I waited for his reaction to the lie I’d just told him before hitting him with an even bigger one. He looked sad and confused—exactly how I wanted him to look. It was time to drive the stake straight into his heart. I needed to make him hate Ruby as much as I did so he would stop trying to help her.
“So tell me, Clay—how did you get past the fact that Sophie slept with your best friend? I mean, your situation is even worse than mine is. How did you make peace with the fact that the person who murdered you might actually be little Clayton’s father?”
“What? No, you have it all wrong, Zach. Sophie and Jeremy hated each other—there’s no way they would have done that to me.”
His lips said one thing but his face had nothing but doubt written all over it. It was time to deliver the fatal blow.
“Ruby didn’t tell you? She swore to me that she would be honest with you. But she lies so much that I don’t think she can help it. The Sophie/Jeremy affair was one of the first things she uncovered when she started poking around in your past. Jeremy killed you because Sophie chose you over him—regardless of which one of you fathered her child. And it really sucks for you that you’ll never even have the opportunity to get a paternity test done.”
I crushed it. Not just the delivery of that whopper of a lie but Clay’s heart too. Now, he would go away and leave me in peace. He would refuse to help her ever again. Clay was the only real way she had of communicating with me and I succeeded in slicing that line into two useless pieces. I was free again. Free to forget everything about her. Free to forget that she ever existed. Free to lick my wounds and close off my heart forever.
Clay made a lame excuse for why he needed to leave and I barely kept a straight face until he was gone. But once I was alone, it was time to celebrate. I poured myself an imaginary glass of champagne and toasted to my achievement. I partied like that for hours—emptying the equivalent of probably five bottles of the best Cristal had to offer. Drunk on power, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
But I didn’t wake up the same way.
9. Water under the Bridge
Rachel was undeniably mad at me. It wasn’t merely her offensive driving maneuvers that tipped me off—it was her car itself. Even Daisy, as she had taken to referring to her Beetle after adorning the headlights with a set of eyelashes, looked pissed. The eyelashes were slightly off-center and cocked in an accusatory manner. I was about to take a tongue lashing of epic proportions.
“Ruby!” she shouted while furiously pressing in the button to make her window go down faster. “You have some explaining to do! Zach was perfectly fine when I last saw him! A few months later, he’s trying to kill himself while you stealthily avoid my messages! There’s a lot going on here that you haven’t told me about but you’re going to start spilling it right this second! He’s my twin brother and you’re my best friend—I deserve to know everything. Well, what do you have to say for yourself?”
As usual, she spit the words out of her mouth like a cloud unleashing a monsoon. Just when I thought the storm was lifting, she began pelting me with another round.
“Just because I’m living in Florida now is no excuse for not telling me what’s going on! You promised to keep me in your loop of weirdness, remember? I—”
I knew from experience that if I didn’t cut her off soon, her tongue was going to steamroll right over me. “Calm down, Rachel. I know you’re upset but I didn’t want you to worry about Zach. I don’t know what’s wrong with Zach—yet. But I’ve been following every sign no matter where it takes me. And I didn’t intentionally ignore your messages—I forgot to take my phone out of airplane mode when I got to Tucson.”
“Wait a second—Tucson? Why were you in Tucson? And where exactly is that anyway? I spent every day of seventh grade geography perfecting my French manicure skills. Flunked that class with no problem.”
“Tucson is in Arizona. Long story short, I went there to try to help Zach. My life has been, well, complicated lately to say the least. But everything I’ve done, I’ve done to help your brother. You know how deeply I love him. He’s wrapped up in something weird but I’m going to get to the bottom of it—one way or another.”
“Well, I refuse to accept a short synopsis of what’s been going on. In other words, you need to turn that short story back into an epic saga. And with sequels if need be. For real, I want every last detail of what’s been going on. Now.”
And people referred to me as a dominatrix? Rachel had me beat in that department by a long shot. But she was right. I shouldn’t have left her out of the loop for so long. I really did have a lot of explaining to do.
“Follow me back to Rosewood. We’ll talk about it over some Rocky Road, okay?”
Even bribing her with ice cream didn’t remove the scowl from her face. I was going to be a suspect stammering under the bright ligh
ts of the interrogation room for the next few hours. Needless to say, I drove home very slowly and stopped at every yellow light along the way until she started laying on the horn behind me.
Once back at the mansion, it was obvious that she’d caught on to the fact that I was dragging my feet. Swiftly, she swiped the ice cream scoop out of my hand with a stern command.
“Dish it out, Ruby—and I’m not referring to the ice cream. I’ll take care of that while you start telling me what happened to Zach.”
So without further prodding or hesitance on my part, I started at the beginning. I explained in detail everything that happened between Chicago and Tucson. I showed her every bit of physical evidence I had—everything from the feathers I’d found to the protection stones Salma had given me. The further I dove into my account, the more I wished that I hadn’t waited so long to tell her what was going on. If the situation had been reversed, I would have been furious with me too.
But by the time I was done explaining it all, her anger had dissipated. Or maybe that was simply the effect of having three bowlfuls of Rocky Road. Whatever the case may be, in the end it was all water under the bridge.
“OMG! Ruby! This is the strangest situation I’ve ever heard of! Do you really think you’re going to have to go back in time to save Zach? ‘Cause if so, I’m totally cramming myself into that time machine with you whether you want me to or not!”
“I don’t actually have a time machine, Rachel! And besides, Shelly thinks that’s only a metaphor anyway. The answer lies somewhere in my mother’s past—I just have to keep digging around until I find it.”
“When’s the next flight to Tucson, then? We can’t waste any more time in Charlotte’s Grove—Zach needs help now. I can be packed and ready to leave in less than an hour.”
“I don’t think I’m supposed to go back there—at least not right now. Mom led me here to Charlotte’s Grove for a reason. I’m just not sure why yet. I thought Clay was the answer but I guess I was wrong. I need to find out what happened between him and Zach last night. But you know Clay, when he’s mad he stays mad for a while.”
“But we have to do something! As good as it may sound, sitting here OD’ing on ice cream isn’t getting us anywhere. Zach can’t help himself—he needs us to do it for him. So get out that magic tea of yours and see what the leaves tell you now.”
I nodded and fetched a tea bag from out of the cupboard. As I watched my cup of water rotate in the microwave until it was steaming hot, I became anxious. There wasn’t going to be a foot or a feather in my leaves this time—I could feel it. But I had a sneaking suspicion of what I would find. And I didn’t like it one bit.
I drank that cup of tea so fast I barely tasted it. As I swirled those last drops of liquid around, I concentrated hard on the question at hand—what can I do to help Zach?
With trepidation, I flipped the cup over onto a saucer and waited impatiently for an excruciating ten seconds before turning it right-side up. And there it was—plain as day. The symbol I so desperately didn’t want to find was staring me boldly in the face.
It was a bee—so clearly formed that the stripes and wings were unmistakable. Nothing. I was expected to sit here and do absolutely nothing while Zach continued wasting away in the psych ward. Ugh.
“Well?” Rachel asked excitedly. “Where are we off to next? Hawaii would be nice. You see a hula skirt and a lei or two in there, don’t you?”
Without a word, I tipped my cup so that she could peer inside. Just for curiosity’s sake, I wanted to see if she saw the same symbol I did.
“That’s a bee! So where do bees hang out? Mexico? Jamaica? Or maybe it stands for the letter B.” She spent a few seconds in deep thought before shouting out, “The Bahamas! We’re going to the Bahamas!”
“You’re acting like a whacked out game show contestant, Rachel. We aren’t going anywhere. This is Mom’s way of telling me that I need to be still.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense at all. Doing nothing isn’t going to get us anywhere!”
“I don’t understand it either but this isn’t the first time I’ve gotten this message from her. And without anything else to go on, I don’t know where I would even start looking for more clues. All we can do now is wait for the next sign to move forward.”
And with that, we both heaved a sigh of frustration. “Well, when you get it, I better be the first to know about it. Until then, I’m heading home to see if there’s any news on Zach yet.”
“You will definitely be the first person I tell but the same goes for you. If you hear anything in regard to his condition, please give me a call.”
“I will. Until then, Namascray,” she said, pressing her palms together and bowing her head.
“No,” I said with a laugh. “It’s Namaste not Namascray.”
“I know but I think my version of it fits the situation better. Namascray. The crazy in me recognizes and honors the crazy in you.”
I closed the door behind her mentally kicking myself for not having come up with that play on words myself. Namascray. It was my new personal mantra.
Once Rachel was gone, nervous energy began building up inside of me. I needed something to do. Or somewhere to go. But what? Or where? I tried sitting down to watch a movie but it only reminded me of that new dream I’d been having. Disgusted, I turned off the Blu-Ray only ten minutes in.
After that, I tried going outside for a walk but that didn’t last even half as long. It was October in Pennsylvania and all of the clothes I had with me were Arizona appropriate only. Freezing, I walked back into the house disgusted yet again. I felt the urge to keep moving physically in order to take my mind off of things.
So I began a slow methodical pacing through Rosewood. Up one set of steps, down the other. Through the conservatory, around the ballroom. While passing Shelly’s study for the third time, she finally threw the door open and asked me what I was doing.
“I’m restless. The only thing I should be doing is helping Zach. But I can’t until one of two things happen. Either Clay needs to get down from his high horse and talk to me or Mom needs to send me on another adventure. Until then, I pace.”
I only got two steps down the hallway when she stopped me. “Get in here, Ruby. There’s something important that I need for you to understand.”
Begrudgingly, I stepped inside the doorway to hear whatever life lesson I was about to learn. I attempted to linger there so I could easily return to my pacing when Professor Shelly was finished with her lesson but she made me take a seat on the couch before she would say a word.
“I know that you seem to think that constant motion is what life is all about but you’re wrong. Puzzles are not best solved by endlessly obsessing over them. You need to take time away from what lays heavily on your heart. Get out of your own mind for a little while. Try new things, have new experiences. Don’t you remember what it was like after Zach got shot? You felt responsible for bringing him back but it was only after you admitted to yourself that you weren’t in control of the situation that he chose to come back on his own. This is another one of those times.”
“But Shelly, I am in control this time—sort of. As soon as Mom sends me another sign, I have to be ready to follow it! I have to stay focused!”
“Focused? Focused on what? Driving yourself crazy in the process? As much as I love having you home, I think you need to get back into your normal routine as soon as possible. I’m taking you back to Liberty tomorrow. And I don’t want to hear any arguments against it.”
“But Shelly, what am I going to do back there alone? No, I want to stay here.”
“Didn’t I say that I didn’t want to hear any arguments? I’m fairly certain that I did. You’re going to go home, go to work, and live a normal life—that’s what you’re going to do. Go shopping, hang out with Addie. You have to be metaphysically exhausted from all of this. Take some time to relax and decompress. You have no idea what your next adventure may entail. You need to replenish your inne
r strength in the meantime.”
Metaphysically exhausted. While I could stand here and debate the Charlotte’s Grove vs. Liberty issue all day long with her, that two word phrase resonated with me. I was metaphysically exhausted but I didn’t have the first clue on how to get relief from it. I was emotionally tired but I didn’t know how to be still. So I gave up the argument and hauled myself upstairs for the one and only night I would be spending in my old room this time around.
I repacked a few of my things then sat down at my desk with my laptop. Of course there was a huge part of me that wanted to spend hours Googling for more information on my mom, but the greater part of me wanted nothing more than to write. Maybe obsessing over Zach wasn’t the best thing for me, but thinking about the moments we shared in the past only strengthened my resolve to stick with him through the hell we were both enduring now. That and the realization that I was so close to finishing the story that I felt it would be a mortal sin not to give it immediate closure. As I placed the final word on page 476 of “Shades of Summer”, there was a light knock on my bedroom door.
“Can I come in? Shelly said you needed to talk to me about Camille—I mean your mother.”
Dad. This was a conversation I’d been dreading and with an early departure, thought I may be able to avoid entirely. “Thanks, Shelly,” I thought with an eye roll to accompany it then replied verbally, “Yeah, I guess I do.”
I bit my lip through parts of that conversation until it bled. He was unacquainted with both Roxanne and Josette yet listened without flinching to the account of what happened during their road trip. While I had stewed over what terrible secrets were still locked inside Mom’s past, Dad remained nonplussed.